Title:           The Secret Ingredient
Author:          BallsOfFluff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/iFV4aCfL
First Edit:      Monday 9th of April 2012 03:31:19 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 9th of April 2012 03:31:19 PM CDT

By The Insomniac !!HIN2siWazyd
 
Meh, here's one with more of the "chief" role I talked about. Sorry if it's a little long…
 
>Live out in the country
>Enjoy abusing fluffy ponies immensely
>You have just created the perfect way of killing off the little buggers
>You can hardly wait
>There's a whole pack of them living in a field behind your house
>From there you can see the highway running across it, keeping them from going too far away
>With a small lake near it
>fluffy owners sick of their pets often drop them off there and it seems they've formed their society
>Perfect conditions
>it cost you a lot for all the noodles
>at least you didn't have to buy pasta sauce
 
>They seem to have an intelligent leader, however
>You're afraid he might ruin your perfect trap for them
>He's a grey pegasus who seems to have more common sense than usual
>Once, a nearby italian restaurant decided to dump their trash in the ravine across the highway
>Wild fluffies caught the smell of the leftover noodles
>having been all abandoned by their owners, they all missed the taste of spaghetti immensely
>"Fwuffy smell sketties!", one cried.
>The rest blindly follow it across the highway.
>The grey one is smart enough to know it's a road, but the rest are too stupid to understand it.
>"No! Woad bad! No walk in w-"
>Too late.
>Some fluffies are sent flying because they tried to hug the sides of the cars and managed to hold on before losing their grip.
>some have are driven through their torsos and have their spines severed
>"Why weggies no work?", they cry as they try to crawl off the road to safety.
>most fail and die from a second impact
>some are unlucky and survive two, some even three
>They lie in the road, in agony but immobile and unable to move due to their gross stupidity
>They simply lie in pain, crying
>You even heard some manage to utter "Kiww me please" and "Why fluffy no die?…"
>The ones who weren't immediately killed noticed their friend's deaths immediately began running around in circles and crying, too stupid to realize they would die in the road
>Ran around until they too, died
 
>You hope fluffies will ignore this guy more
 
 
>Because it is time to set your plan in motion
 
>down in the field
>fluffies see the huge plate of spaghetti you're carrying
>Some jump up, "Gib fwuffy sketties! Fwuffy wan sketties!"
>Others cower away from the "scary munstah"
>"It's all for you!" you say evilly as you place it on the ground
>dowant.png
>Suddenly, the grey one yells "Stop!"
>Fluffies all turn to him
>He begins to walk towards you
>Takes a whiff of the spaghetti and immediately turns away
>OHSHIT.GIF
>"Is a tap!", he proclaims. "Scawy hooman wan hurt fwuffies! He put bad tings in sk-"
>He is cut off by your grabbing him by his neck
>You quickly shove him into your pocket as he wriggles helplessly, out of view of the fluffies
>They all stare at you, shocked
>Clap your hands
>"Who wants 'sketties?"
>Fluffy ponies have already forgotten about their "chief"
>They all rush to you in a hurry to eat the spaghetti
>Their mouths full, they proclaim "Fwuffy wub daddy!", and "You da best daddy ever!"
>Not long after a few fluffies have had a bite, your secret ingredient kicks in.
>Shitloads of peruvian death pepper sauce.
 
>fluffies begin to scream "Waah! Why my mouf hurt?" and "Owwie, my tongue!"
>The ones who are still eating are too stupid to realize this.
>Soon, all the fluffies are crying due to the heat.
>"Owie owie, why you do this to me, daddy?"
>Some got it in their eyes
>They're on the ground, crying.
>others scream their lungs out in agony
>Fucking awesome
 
>you stand there, enjoying the spectacle for a while until you decide to head back for a nap.
 
>Throw back grey fluffy on the ground.
>make sure to break one of his legs so he can't get away.
>Cries as you walk away.
 
>When you wake up, you can still hear screaming
>Head back down
>they're still screaming
>Some of them have gone into shock due to their exceptionally fragile bodies
 
>Wanting to see what will happen, you point out the river in the distance.
>They were too agonized to see it earlier and too stupid to remember they had been there
>The ones who aren't already contorted on the ground try to run over to it
>Some who got it in their eyes don't even notice you
>When they hear you coming closer, they turn towards you
>Their eyes are red and scratched, some completely clawed out
>They can't even see anymore
>One of them is holding its hands out to you, as if begging
>"Daddy…is dat you?"
>Begins to sob.
>"Kiww me daddy…pwease…"
>"Fwuffy no wan live anymo'"
>Give zero fucks
>realize some are making close to the river
>Decide to go check it out
 
>most of them succumbed to shock and passed out in the water
>probably dead
>some simply lie twitching on the ground
 
>You see one who looks particularly pained
>"Owies so bad...", he sniffles.
>Throws himself in, fluff quickly packing in water and him down
>He manages to utter a solemn "Goo'bye…" before he is dragged down.
>Doesn't matter, though
>No one can hear him
 
>About to head back home when you remember the grey fluffy you threw on the ground
>You see him on the ground, sobbing
>He looks at what remains of the pack
>"I hate 'oo! He says, uselessly trying to punch you.
>You laugh as you hold his eyelids open, bring him over to what remains of the spaghetti plate and rub his face in it.
>He screams, clawing at his eyes as you walk away into the sunset.