Title:           Rock and Roll Clown
Author:          BallsOfFluff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/5SHPpkpw
First Edit:      Thursday 26th of July 2012 12:30:00 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 26th of July 2012 12:30:00 PM CDT

>You're a rock and roll clown.
>You do cocaine.
>Except not today. No, today your dealer ran out of the stuff so you decided to get something else instead.
>K-k-k-bath salts! Hey, it's always good to change things up a bit.
>Later that night, you get thrown out of an Italian restaurant and wind up in the alleyway behind it.
>Bored, you decide to snort some of tonight's recreation. Eh. Not bad. Not too different from the usu--
>WHOA.
>WHAT THE FUCK.
>THERE'S COTTON CANDY COMING OUT OF THE SHADOWS.
>LOTS OF IT.
>AND IT'S ALL TALKING.
>Shit like "Dis good pwace fo' sketties!" and "Nummies hewe! Wook, babbehs!"
>You make a mental note to get more of this stuff if you ever feel like trippin' serious balls.
>One cotton candy ambles over to where you're crouching against the wall.
>It has wings. What the actual fuck.
>It seems to sniff you before recoiling with an "Eeew! No smeww pwetty!"
>Oh, right. You'd gotten drunk and pissed yourself in the restaurant.
>And since you haven't had dinner, you're pretty fucking hungry. In fact, you could go for some cotton candy right about now. Who cares if it's talking?
>You jump up and the cotton candy nearest you screams and jumps backward. "MUNSTAAAAHHH! WAAAH!"
>Monster? WHERE?! You're gonna kill that thing! You're invincible! You're a ROCK AND ROLL CLOWN!
>The other cotton candies take up the cry of "MUNSTAH! MUNSTAH!" They back up against the wall of the alley, away from you.
>OH. Wait. Maybe...you're the monster! You're still wearing your clown getup, after all.
>A green cotton candy steps out from the crowd. "You go 'way, meanie munstah. Me smawty fwien'. Me gif you big owwies unwess you go 'way."
>You pick it up by its stick and it screams shrilly.
>"NUUUU! MEANIE MUNSTAH! WET GO MY HOWN! OWWWW! OWWWWW! HUWTIES!"
>The noise somehow makes you more hungry. You bite into the thrashing tasty goodness and swallow the floss.
>Yech. It doesn't taste too good. Maybe the outside is stale.
>"OWWWW! HEWP! HEWP SMAWTY FWIEN'! MUNSTAH IS EATIN' MEEEE!"
>You bite deeper. This time you meet with some resistance but you chomp down harder.
>Ooh! This candy has filling in it! A liquid center and crunchy bits.
>You're too drug-addled to wonder why there's gourmet cotton candy in the back alley of an Italian restaurant.
>The screaming from the food in your hand isn't helping you think, either.
>You look down to see more of the cotton candies clustered at your feet. They seem to be throwing themselves against you.
>Silly cotton candies. They're just sugar and air.
>"Wet smawty fwien' go! We gif you owwies!"
>Annoying sugar and air, though. You kick a couple of them and they go flying, hitting the alley wall with a thud and a crunch.
>Some of them make soft whimpering sounds as they land.
>Meanwhile, you're bored of the cotton candy in your hand. You lean down to grab another.
>This one's much smaller and lacks the stick. Eh, whatever. You bite, demolishing half of it.
>You SWEAR you can feel it moving in your mouth. Bath salts, man. They'll k-k-k-fuck you right up.
>Another cotton candy bumps against your leg. "NUUU! MUNSTAH STAWP EATIN' MY BABBEH!"
>You're startled and drop your the bit of cotton candy you're holding. The one that had bumped into your leg scoots over to it.
>"Mummeh gif you hugsies, babbeh! Whewe youw head? Mummah gif you hugsies an' youw head come back!"
>Jesus fuck, are you ever going to be able to finish one of these things without dropping it partway through?
>You lean down to pick up another.
 
...
 
>You wake up the next morning, covered in blood, shit, and...fluff?...of some description.
>Looking around, you see twenty or so half-eaten carcasses of what appear to be tiny pony-esque things.
>You don't know how those got there, but you DO know that last night, you ate some of the best cotton candy you've ever had.
>With a "K-k-k-YEAAAAH!" you get up and stumble home, stepping on a few of the pony carcasses and giving not a single fuck.