- >own a blue fluffy pony with an orange mane
- >have a big anger management problem
- >get pissed over something or other, sever one of your fluffy's front legs
- >calm down enough to realize what you did
- >find your fluffy sitting in a corner, crying and nursing his missing hoof
- >'wew weggie go? wy fwuffy huwt! fwuffy good fwuffy!"
- >fuck, he's going to be whining about that for weeks
- >think quickly
- >fashion a peg leg and a pirate hat out of newspaper
- >He protests at first
- >"Nuuuu! Fwuffy dun wik noo weg!"
- >Reset him with a car battery
- >"You're a pirate. You have a peg leg. You lost it in a battle with a giant sea monster."
- >Your fluffy, by some miracle, actually manages to sound like a pirate, albiet a really, really dumb one
- >He wanders around the house, trying to conquer everything
- >"YAWWWWW! FWUFFY CWAIM BAWW FOR HISSEWF!"
- >This goes on for weeks
- >It goes from cute to irritating in less than a week
- >Eventually he starts breaking things
- >First it was a vase you didn't really like all that much; you let it slide, he's still a fluffy pony, after all
- >Eventually he knocks over your thousand dollar plasma screen TV
- >He cackles triumphantly like he's won something other than an ass-kicking
- >"FWUFFY KIWW DA KWAKEN! I BEST PIWATE EVAH!"
- >You pick him up by the scruff of the neck; he protests
- >"NUUUU! UNHAND ME!"
- >You smack him across the nose; he starts to tear up
- >You take off the hat and peg leg and put him on the ground
- >He sits up and looks around frantically for a few seconds
- >"Hewwo hooman! Wan' pway wif fwuffy?"
- >He tries walking; he trips due to his non-existent hoof
- >"WAAAAAAH! WEW WEGGIE!?"
- >goddammit.jpg
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Piwate
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