Title:           Brisket
Author:          BallsOfFluff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/C0ZuSnCT
First Edit:      Thursday 19th of July 2012 10:40:28 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 19th of July 2012 10:40:28 AM CDT

>Allergic to cats.
>Dayum shame, you like the things.
>Decide you want to try owning a fluffy pony.
>They're a damn sight cheaper than hypoallergenic cats.
>Head to the pet store
>They've got two terrariums full of fluffy pony foals.
>One is priced considerably higher than the other.
>A glance at the label reveals the reason
>"Feeder Fluffies"
>Makes sense, the pastel storm drain cloggers are the fastest reproducing "mammals" known to man.
>The ones in the "Premium Fluffy Ponies" bin are nearly all better color coordinated than the ones in the feeder bin.
>The nicely colored ones in there must have something else wrong with them.
>You call a worker over and ask him to get you out a fluffy pony from the feeder box.
>Like hell you're paying 20 bucks for a fluffy pony when you can get one for a dollar.
>You pick out a brown fluffy pony foal with a blue mane to troll your hipster friends.
>It coos in the palm of the worker's hand, and giggles a bit.
>"So, who's the lucky critter?" asks the store worker, reaching for a bag.
>"Oh... uh, my cat."
>The worker nods and puts the fluffy pony in a small brown paper bag and staples the top closed.
>You make your purchase and take the bagged fluffy pony back to your house.
>You wait until you're home, don't want the little guy crapping in your car.
>you dump it out in a big plastic tub lined with wood shavings, so it can walk around safely until it gets bigger.
 >It wakes up. Must have fallen asleep in the dark bag.
>You name the fluffy pony foal "brisket"
>it's barely old enough to be weaned, so you have to feed it from a bottle for the first few days.
>You have to get some nutritionally complete fluffy pony milk for it. Apparently they sell the genuine stuff.
>"100% fluffy pony milk. Contains no more than 16% growth and production hormones by weight"
>jesuschristhowhorrifying.tga
 
>After a week or two, brisket hasn't grown much at all. He should be much bigger by now.
>he's not looking too good either. He doesn't scamper around anymore, he just slowly totters around the bin.
>His fluff is starting to fall off in tufts too.
>You ain't going to take a one dollar horse to the vet, so you check the brand of fluffy pony milk on the internet.
>The reviews are almost all glowing. Most of the bad reviews are complaining about how unethical it is.
>Hm, probably not that then.
>On a whim, you check the pet store brand you bought brisket from.
>Nothing.
>Wait, there is one thing. On a russian message board
>Some ex-employee laughing about how they irradiate the feeder foals to make sure they don't have any parasites.
>You do a little digging and find out it's true.
>Brisket was exposed to an extremely fatal blast from an electron beam sterilizer.
>You pick him up to comfort him, but even your gentle grasp breaks some of his bones.
>Fuck.
>You give him one last very gentle hug with both hands and then crush his skull in with your thumb.
 
>Guess you get what you pay for.