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Barbershop

By: BallsOfFluff on Jun 18th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 3.82 KB | hits: 397 | expires: Never

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>be a pair of 14 year old boys
>be extremely bored
>exhaust all of your options of things to do
>search through the house for idea of things to do
>hate living in the midwest
>eventually give up and retire to the living room
>flip through the channels
>eventually, your little sister's pet fluffy pony comes waddling through the living room
>her name's Honey because of the color of her fur
>Monotone fluffies are actually somewhat rare and somewhat expensive
>She sees you two in the room and waddles over to you, probably looking for something to play with herself
>"Hewwo! Fwiends giv' hugs to Hunny?"
>You don't like fluffy ponies very much
>"No, Honey. Go away. We're busy." You lie
>Honey looks sad
>"Wy fwiends no wan' pway?"
>She looks like she's about to tear up
>"We're not your friend, you stupid bitch. Now leave!"
>Regardless of whether or not she was going to cry, she is now
>"WY CAWW HUNNY MEAN NAME?"
>Fluffy ponies don't know how to be anything other than obnoxious
>You pick her up and throw her outside and head back to the couch
>"I hate that fuckin' thing; life here has sucked more than usual ever since my Mom get it for her for her birthday."
>Your friend nods.
>"Yeah man; the pampered ones are even worse than normal. When my parents got divorced, my Mom got one; she treated it better than me."
>You shake your head
>"We have to do something about this, man; these things suck ass."
>As if a sign, a Gillette commercial comes on TV
>Your friend looks at you and smiles
>"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
>Teenaged boys love cliches
>"Yeah man; let's go conduct an experiment"
>You go and pick up your Dad's electric razor from the bathroom
>Go outside and meet Honey
>She was still visibly sad from earlier, but she perks up as soon as you guys show up
>"YAAAY! Fwiend wan' pway wiff hunny?"
>You put on a shit eating grin: "We sure do!"
>She comes over and hugs your knee
>"YAAAY! PWAY GAME! Wut we gon' pway?
>It seems like that's the last thing like 80 percent of fluffies say right before someone kills them
>"It's a really fun game called barbershop!"
>"Oooooh, babewshop? How pway?"
>"I'll show you!"
>You turn on the razor; Honey looks startled
>"Wut buzzy ting fow?"
>"Hold still!" You say while ignoring her
>She does as she's told while you start sheering her fluff
>She doesn't notice until you get a patch of skin
>"NUUU! Wut hooman doin' to hunny fwuff!? Stawp!"
>She squirms with all of her might while you take off the rest of her fluff, she's no match for you and your friend
>Eventually you get done, leaving Honey a shivering, sobbing mess of a non-fluffy pony
>"Wy take fwuff!? Giff hunny fwuff back!"
>"We can't! That's not how you play barbershop!"
>"No wan' pway game no mow!"
>You two go back inside and watch as the violently shivering fluffy pony tries to hug the pile of fluff you left for warmth
>Hear her cries all the way inside through the glass door when the wind blows all of it away
>She has absolutely no chance of staying alive through the night
>A bit later, you walk your friend home
>When you get back, you find honey sniffling inside of what turned out to be a rose bush
>She must've tried to sneak inside for warmth
>Fluffy skin is like wet tissue paper; there's no way she should still be alive
>Hear some faint cries when you walk up; she must've heard your footsteps
>"Pwease...hewp fwuffy...bush huwty..."
>You manage to pry her out of the bush
>She has deep lacerations up and down her sides, blood pouring out of some of them
>"Fwuffy dun' feew too good..."
>Honey pukes up some more blood
>You set her on the ground
>A few seconds later she collapses, never to wake up again
>You thrown the corpse in the trash
>Your Mom and sister come home from her Karate Lessons, she calls for her fluffy pony
>Mom finds the corpse in the trash
>Get grounded for two weeks

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>be a pair of 14 year old boys
>be extremely bored
>exhaust all of your options of things to do
>search through the house for idea of things to do
>hate living in the midwest
>eventually give up and retire to the living room
>flip through the channels
>eventually, your little sister's pet fluffy pony comes waddling through the living room
>her name's Honey because of the color of her fur
>Monotone fluffies are actually somewhat rare and somewhat expensive
>She sees you two in the room and waddles over to you, probably looking for something to play with herself
>"Hewwo! Fwiends giv' hugs to Hunny?"
>You don't like fluffy ponies very much
>"No, Honey. Go away. We're busy." You lie
>Honey looks sad
>"Wy fwiends no wan' pway?"
>She looks like she's about to tear up
>"We're not your friend, you stupid bitch. Now leave!"
>Regardless of whether or not she was going to cry, she is now
>"WY CAWW HUNNY MEAN NAME?"
>Fluffy ponies don't know how to be anything other than obnoxious
>You pick her up and throw her outside and head back to the couch
>"I hate that fuckin' thing; life here has sucked more than usual ever since my Mom get it for her for her birthday."
>Your friend nods.
>"Yeah man; the pampered ones are even worse than normal. When my parents got divorced, my Mom got one; she treated it better than me."
>You shake your head
>"We have to do something about this, man; these things suck ass."
>As if a sign, a Gillette commercial comes on TV
>Your friend looks at you and smiles
>"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
>Teenaged boys love cliches
>"Yeah man; let's go conduct an experiment"
>You go and pick up your Dad's electric razor from the bathroom
>Go outside and meet Honey
>She was still visibly sad from earlier, but she perks up as soon as you guys show up
>"YAAAY! Fwiend wan' pway wiff hunny?"
>You put on a shit eating grin: "We sure do!"
>She comes over and hugs your knee
>"YAAAY! PWAY GAME! Wut we gon' pway?

>It seems like that's the last thing like 80 percent of fluffies say right before someone kills them
>"It's a really fun game called barbershop!"
>"Oooooh, babewshop? How pway?"
>"I'll show you!"
>You turn on the razor; Honey looks startled
>"Wut buzzy ting fow?"
>"Hold still!" You say while ignoring her
>She does as she's told while you start sheering her fluff
>She doesn't notice until you get a patch of skin
>"NUUU! Wut hooman doin' to hunny fwuff!? Stawp!"
>She squirms with all of her might while you take off the rest of her fluff, she's no match for you and your friend
>Eventually you get done, leaving Honey a shivering, sobbing mess of a non-fluffy pony
>"Wy take fwuff!? Giff hunny fwuff back!"
>"We can't! That's not how you play barbershop!"
>"No wan' pway game no mow!"
>You two go back inside and watch as the violently shivering fluffy pony tries to hug the pile of fluff you left for warmth
>Hear her cries all the way inside through the glass door when the wind blows all of it away
>She has absolutely no chance of staying alive through the night
>A bit later, you walk your friend home
>When you get back, you find honey sniffling inside of what turned out to be a rose bush
>She must've tried to sneak inside for warmth
>Fluffy skin is like wet tissue paper; there's no way she should still be alive
>Hear some faint cries when you walk up; she must've heard your footsteps
>"Pwease...hewp fwuffy...bush huwty..."
>You manage to pry her out of the bush
>She has deep lacerations up and down her sides, blood pouring out of some of them
>"Fwuffy dun' feew too good..."
>Honey pukes up some more blood
>You set her on the ground
>A few seconds later she collapses, never to wake up again
>You thrown the corpse in the trash
>Your Mom and sister come home from her Karate Lessons, she calls for her fluffy pony
>Mom finds the corpse in the trash
>Get grounded for two weeks

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