Title:           Deadmeat Chronicles: Deadmeat's Worst Day
Author:          BadFicWriter
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/pGg1FUqa
First Edit:      Sunday 28th of October 2012 08:44:34 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 28th of October 2012 08:44:34 PM CDT

>You are a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane.
>Tree rocks are stupid!
>You never want to see one of these ever again!
>Four of your herd follows at a distance afraid to get near you.
>You are biting and kicking the stupid tree rock.
>You have stepped on them, beat them with sorry sticks, bit them and they never open.
>”Ahhhh! Stoopi! Stoo! Bad twee wock!”
>You bite it up and toss it as far as you can.
>You chase it and stomp it.
>”Bad bad bad twee wock! Meanie bad meanie bad bad bad twee wock!”
>You give it one more toss for good measure tossing it on the sidewalk.
>You shake your hoof at it.
>”Deadmeat wan yoo go way!”
>Your body guards run up beside you, “Nuu hewd nee smawty! Nuu go near hoomins!”
>You are still shaking your hoof at the tree rock, “Deadmeat nu wike twee wock stoopi dum dum twee-“
>A two legged monster steps on the acorn causing it to crunch.
>You freeze with your mouth open shocked.
>There is a break in the monsters walking and you run up and grab the acorn and carry it under a bush.
>The shell is broken and with a little effort you bite it and pull it off.
>You stare at the inner nut, your body guards stare as well, “Wha dat?”
>You take a tentative bite, it is crunchy.
>You chew on it a bit, it taste a little bitter but it is good.
>You eat the rest hungrily, “Deadmeat wike twee wock nummies… but how tuu wegged munsta-“
>”eeeeeeeee!”
>You hear fluffy screams in the distance.
>Your body guards start to shake, one poops in fear, “Wha dat… munsta get fwuffy…”
>You step from under the bush and look around.
>Suddenly your heart skips a beat and it feels like your tummy drops.
>A man in blue fur is walking over the hill into your area.
>You take off at a gallop back to your area.
>”eeeee! EeeeEEeeee!!”
>You run faster, as you get closer to the hill a form comes flying over it.
>The body of a fluffy hits the ground and starts to roll toward you.
>You stop running and it comes to a rest at your feet.
>You see an earth pony with blue grey fluffy and a dark blue mane look up at you.
>Boo boo juice is seeping from his nose.
>His body is twisted with his back legs pointing the wrong way to his back, his front legs are stiff an unmoving.
>He smiles at you, “Yay.. daddeh fwuffy… come fo Dammit….”
>You try to hug him back to health but you can feel him getting weaker.
>”Nuuu, Deadmeat need stwong owchie fwen. Yoo get betteh!”
>”Dammit wub daddeh smawty… yoo daddeh dat..” He wheezes a bit, “Yoo…dadddeh neber weave… Dam…”
>He goes limp in your hooves.
>”Nnnnnnnn! NnNNNNN! Dum dum two wegged munstas!”
>You drop your friend and run to the top of the hill.
>The blue furred monster has a large rock, “Run fuckers! See how far you can get!”
>You look in front of him and see a small group of female fluffies running away.
>They are trying to get to some bushes.
>You see Roseberry is among them.
>Another blue furred monster steps in, “Looks like you found another herd, let’s take these fuckers out!”
>Fluffy screams fill your ears.
>You turn back and see the group of females is decimated, bodies are strewn in a bloody path.
>The other man has thrown the rock.
>From under the rock you see a couple of tails and leggies sticking out.
>You realize Roseberry is gone.
>One of your owchie friends approaches a blue furred monster and puffs his cheeks.
>”Go way! Fwuffy gif owchies!” His shaking legs give away his bravado.
>The man gets on all fours in front of the fluffy, “Will bring it mother fucker!”
>He swings hard punching the fluffy in its nose.
>The fluffy flies backward, a sickening crunch echoes.
>Blood is flowing from its nose and mouth, it hits the ground not moving and gasping for breaths.
>Each exhale sends out a small cone of red mist.
>The man is on top of it punching it brutally in its face over and over.
>Each hit makes another crunch, “I GOD DAMN SAID BRING IT!!”
>The fluffy quits moving all together as the man still punches.
>You hear a whoosh, you turn and see the other man has a flame in one hand and spraying fire from the other.
>He is walking around randomly setting members of your herd on fire.
>You start puffing your cheeks and sparklies start to shoot from your horn.
>You shout, your voice echoing through your area, “Wisten to smawty Deadmeat! Gif munstas owchies!”
>Fluffies start to roll out of the bushes and from the woodline toward the blue furred monsters.
>”BIGGEST OWCHIES!” You scream as you run down the hill.
>One of the monsters starts to look around, “Which one said that!? We need to kill the smarty first!”
>The remainder of your herd is crowding the men’s legs biting and bucking.
>You run up but are in the rear of the group, you can’t ram either man.
>”Fucking hell! Can’t set them on fire now!” The man puts the can and lighter back into his pockets.
>The other has taken up to stomping the fluffies around him.
>The man who was setting fluffies on fire pulls a baseball bat from a sheath on his back and starts to swing.
>He looks like a giant growling as he swings into the crowd of hapless fluffies.
>Bodies go flying with each swing of his bat.
>You avoid him and concentrate on the one stomping his attackers.
>Then you see something amazing, he loses his footing and falls back landing between two trees.
>You see your chance, “GET DAT MUNSTA!”
>The fluffies swarm on top of the downed man.
>”Here! The smarty is over here!” The man shouts as he starts to toss fluffies off him.
>he stands up with fluffies hanging on him biting his clothes.
>Their weak jaws can’t hold on and several fall off.
>Enough clump around his feet again and he stumbles and falls a second time.
>He stumbles into a tree and falls down on an old limb.
>You see your chance, his arms are out in front of him.
 >You charge with your horn down stabbing him in his armpit.
>He lets out a howl of pain and jumps up.
>You are getting close to him again, the fluffies have dwindled but a few are left.
>In a fit of rage the man kicks.
>He kicks one fluffy which rams into another which slams into you.
>There is a repulsive crunch on the first fluffy.
>The impact on your body is crushing but is absorbed by the other two fluffies.
>It still sends you flying though the air.
>You land a few yards away in a bush getting caught in its branches.
>Your body is wracked in pain and you can barely move.
>”EEEP!”, “AHH_”, “Dum dum mun- ACK!”
>You hear small screams of pain and crunches as you hear the bat come down on the remaining fluffies.
>”Holy fuck man, what happened!?”
>”I fell on that stupid limb, think one of its braches stuck me.”
>”SHIT! You really bleeding! Come on!”
>You hear footsteps going away.
>You grit your teeth and push aside the pain.
>You twist and turn slowly falling through the branches to the ground.
>You run out and look around.
>You are shocked by what you see.
>Fluffies are strewn everywhere, boo boo juice spatters the ground and trees.
>There is no sound.
>You realize…
>yoo dum dum smawty!
>Your herd is dead.
>You walk out into your area realizing once again you are by yourself.
>You let out a scream of rage.
>You gallop over the hill.
>The two legged monsters in blue fur are no where to be seen.
>You stomp in frustration.
>You run across the field to the sidewalk and start to yell at the two legged monsters.
>”Yoo aww dum dum! Yoo meanie! Yoo bad! Bad! Bad munstas!”
>You charge closer to the sidewalk.
>Tears run down your face.
>”Why yoo hate fwuffy! Yoo meanies bad munstas!”
>You continue to berate the two legged monsters as you get close.
>They ignore you like your words have no meaning to them.
>You start to scream as they walk by.
>”Deadmeat nuu wike yoo! Go way! Yoo AWW GO-“
>You feel something fall over your body and your feet are knocked out from under you.
>You feel strange and yet familiar, then it hits you.
>”Calm down little fella. At least I got you and not those assholes.” The man in white is next to you.
>You are in a net again.
>You have been captured.