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Deadmeat Chronicles: Over the Hill Smarty Battle

By: BadFicWriter on Oct 11th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 10.60 KB  |  hits: 108  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You are a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane.
  2. >You are lying on your back smiling.
  3. >You enjoy the warmth of the sun on your tummy fluff.
  4. >Your main owchie friend is off to the side.
  5. >He has tried to overthrow you twice.
  6. >The last time you stabbed his knee and left him with boo boo juice coming from several wounds.
  7. >He has since acknowledge you as strongest and has been by your side ever since.
  8. >He says he had a human daddy once that forgot him at this park.
  9. >He says that his daddy named him “Dammit” and yelled that at him all the time.
  10. >He is an earth pony with blue grey fluffy and a dark blue mane and tail, his eyes are yellow.
  11. >Your relaxing day is disturbed by two crying fluffies.
  12. >”Wahhhh! Meanie fwuffy hewt fwuffy! Gif poopie owchies!”
  13. >You roll on your feet and stand up, “Why fwuffy haf poopie owchies?”
  14. >You look at the two crying fluffies.
  15. >They are both covered in poop.
  16. >They point to where the smarty who gave the sorry emfs is.
  17. >”Meanie smawty doo dis! Fwuffy twy to get nummies and meanie fwuffy gif owchies. Wahhhh!”
  18. >The other looks down, “Meanie smawty say we weak fwuffies and he take our nummies…”
  19. >You run up and boop the fluffies on their noses.
  20. >”Yoo bad fwuffies! Yoo bwing bad fwuffies to Deadmeat awea!”
  21. >Dammit runs up and starts to buck the fluffies in their heads.
  22. >”Yoo make fwuffy daddeh mad! Yoo bad fwuffies!”
  23. >”Deadmeat nuu daddeh.” You look toward the hill that separates your two herds.
  24. >”Deadmeat go wook  bad fwuffies.”
  25. >You turn to Roseberry, “Yoo get fwuffies hewe! Fwuffies gif bad fwuffies owwies!”
  26. >Roseberry nods, “Wosebewwy do wha munsta smawty wan!” She runs into the herd.
  27. >”Deadmeat nuu munsta!” You yell after her.
  28. >You huff and start to walk toward the hill.
  29. >Dammit trots next to you, “Dammit make sure nuu bad happen fwuffy daddeh!”
  30. >You ignore the daddy comment and move on.
  31. >You get to the top of the hill and look down.
  32. >The smarty is rallying his fluffies.
  33. >You see he has a large herd.
  34. >Meanwhile, Roseberry gathers all the male fluffies and gets them in front of your bush.
  35. >The female fluffies are off to the side cheering that they have the bestest strongest fluffies.
  36. >Roseberry gets caught up and starts talking up the male fluffies, “Yuu fwuffies am owchie fwens!”
  37. >The males starts to jump and stomp, “Yay! Fwuffy am owchie fwen!
  38. >”Yoo de bestest fwuffies! Yoo gif owchies fo munsta smawty!”
  39. >”Fwuffy gif biggest owchies!”, “Fwuffy am gud fwuffy”, “Gif owchies!” Some are puffing their cheeks getting caught up in the moment.
  40. >”Yoo show dem bad fwuffies!” Roseberry is starting to get rabid, her eyes are widening as her battle excitement grows.
  41. >The other females are yelling and getting excited as well. “Gif bad fwuffies owchies! Biggest owchies!”
  42. >Roseberry starts to jump up and down, “Yoo bwafe fwuffies! Yoo nuu afwaid of getting owchies!”
  43. >”….” All the male fluffies freeze.
  44. >”Yoo go haf boo boo juice! Show bad fwuffy you bestest fwuffies!”
  45. >A couple of the males start to shake, “Boo boo juice?”
  46. >”Dey gif yoo sowwy poopies, yoo no cawe!”
  47. >A couple of fluffies in the back start to whimper, “Fwuffy no wan sowwy poopies….”
  48. >”Yoo nuu scawed get yoo bottom nipped or nose booped!”
  49. >The cheering females are now rabid as well, “Go get nose booped fo hewd!”
  50. >Some of the males start to cry and hug each other, “Fwuffy scawed!”
  51. >”Yoo take nippy to nose and bottom!” Roseberry is yelling now at a fever pitch.
  52. >A few more fluffies start to hug and one falls down and covers his eyes shivering.
  53. >”Fwuffies wemember gweat owchies! Go get biggest owchies fo hewd!” Roseberry ends pointing to the enemy territory.
  54. >One of the males takes off crying in the other direction, “Nuu hewt fwuffy!”
  55. >You and Dammit come running back, “Dey come wif wot fwuffy! Fwuffies-“
  56. >You are cut off by a group of female fluffies looking and pointing to the enemy hill, “Go get biggest owchies!”, they yell over and over.
  57. >They are excited and jumping while yelling this over and over.
  58. >You ignore the shouts, “Fwuffies get behin Deadmeat!”
  59. >You walk between your herd and the hill with determination on your face.
  60. >You plan on keep what you made.
  61. >You stomp a few times and puff your cheeks.
  62. >Then slowly a wave of fluffies come troddling over the top.
  63. >There happy faces glowing, ”Yay! Fwuffies get nummies and speshul huggies!”, “Fwuffy fowwow smawty!”
  64. >You shout at the oncoming herd, “Go way! Dis Deadmeat pwace!”
  65. >The front fluffies look down and see you, “Nuuu! Munsta fwuffy hewe!”, “Wahhh! Nuu hewt fwuffy!”, “Nuuuu! Dey meanie fwuffy hewe!”
  66. >The front turns and tried to run back but are being pushed by the fluffies who don’t see what is waiting on them.
  67. >It turns into an unorganized mess and fluffies start to roll down the hill to your fluffies.
  68. >The females in your herd are in a fever pitch, “Go get biggest owchies!”, “Fwuffy wan see boo boo juice!”, “Yay! Owchie fwens go get owwies fo herd!”
  69. >As the front line rolls into your territory the fluffies behind you shout, “Nuuuu! Dey come fo fwuffy!”, “Fwuffy sowwy! Nuu hewt fwuffy!”
  70. >From behind you hear crying and fluffies run past you in terror.
  71. >You turn and see your herd running randomly.
  72. >Fluffies are crying and leaving streams of shit behind them.
  73. >”NUU! BAD FWUFFIES! Go gif owchies!”
  74. >Dammit runs ahead and starts to boop random fluffies who just fall down and cover their eyes crying.
  75. >There have been many wars in history, and you are in the middle of the lamest battle to ever break out.
  76. >You watch confused as your fluffies and the enemy fluffies run around taking blind swats at each other.
  77. >You see on of your fluffies hugging one of the enemy fluffies, both shaking and crying.
  78. >The smell of bad poopie is filling the air.
  79. >You finally see the enemy smarty crest the hill.
  80. >He is striding bravely and looks down.
  81. >When he sees the scene he starts yelling.
  82. >”Nuuu! Dum dum fwuffies! Gif owchies and sowwy emfs!”
  83. >He starts to run down the hill.
  84. >You start to push your way through the melee toward him.
  85. >It is easy because when you get close to fluffies they see you and scream about the monster fluffy before fleeing.
  86. >You cut off the enemy smarty, “Yoo bad fwuffy! Go way!”
  87. >He stops when he sees you, “Yoo munsta fwuffy? Yoo bad fwuffy! Gif yoo sowwy emfs!”
  88. >You puff your cheeks and make the end of your horn glow, you swear a sparkly just came off it.
  89. >”Deadmeat nuu bad fwuffy! Yoo twy hewt Deameat herd!”
  90. >It doesn’t hit you that you just claimed the herd.
  91. >”Yoo send fwuffies to take smawty nummies! Yoo bad fwuffy!” He charges.
  92. >You lower your horn and lunge back.
  93. >He dodges and bites your bad ear.
  94. >”Eeeeee!” The pain is great.
  95. >You pull hard and he lets go of your ear.
  96. >He charges and pokes your side with his horn.
  97. >It feels like a spike goes through your chest.
  98. >You turn and buck him in his jaw knocking him backwards.
  99. >He lets out a cry as he lands on the ground.
  100. >You run up and grab his tail and pull him hard.
  101. >He flails about trying to get up but can’t get his footing.
  102. >You stop and jump on him pounding his ribs.
  103. >”Deadmeat nuu do anyting! Yoo bad fwuffy! Bad bad bad fwuffy!”
  104. >He starts to cry and rolls out from under you.
  105. >You hear dammit yelling, “Go gif dat fwuffy owchies!”
  106. >You hear a voice you don’t recognize, “But dat fwuffy smawty… Owies! Why gif fwuffy boop?”
  107. >You hear Dammit again, ”Yoo bad fwuffy go way!”
  108. >You chase down the enemy smarty and nip his tail.
  109. >”Owies! Weave wone munsta fwuffy!” He continues to run.
  110. >You run beside him and ram him knocking him down.
  111. >He rolls a bit while you close in.
  112. >You start to stomp his legs as he yells in pain, “EeeeEEeeEEE! EEEEEEEE! Smawty weggies! EEeEEEE!!”
  113. >Dammit runs up and gets behind the enemy smarty and starts to buck his back.
  114. >You then start to nip his nose and ears as he lays crying.
  115. >Finally he starts to beg, “Fwuffy sowwy! Fwuffy weave, pwease wet fwuffy go! Wahhhh!”
  116. >You give a satisfied snort and turn around and raise your tail.
  117. >You give the bad fluffy sorry poopies as he wails pitifully.
  118. >Dammit keeps kicking the beaten fluffy.
  119. >You turn to the throng of running and crying fluffies, “FWUFFIES STOP!”
  120. >All the fluffies freeze and look at you.
  121. >”If dis yoo smawty, GO WAY!” You point back to where the enemy herd came from.
  122. >Fluffies by the dozen start to run back over the hill leaving trails of poop and pee behind them.
  123. >”Fwuffy sowwy!”, “Pwease no hewt fwuffy!”, “WAhhhhh!!”, “Hewp fwuffy!”, “Fwuffy go way, nuu hewt!”
  124. >Dammit has intensified his attack on the helpless smarty.
  125. >He has bit the smarty’s ear and is tugging at it.
  126. >You look at Dammit, “Weave fwuffy wone, wet fwuffy go.”
  127. >He ignores you and keeps tugging at the crying fluffy.
  128. >”Deadmeat say wet fwuffy go!”
  129. >He still ignores you.
  130. >You run and push dammit, “Deadmeat say weave fwuffy wone!”
  131. >Dammit is still in battle lust, he jumps up and charges you trying to bite your nose.
  132. >You boop his nose and push him down.
  133. >He rears his head nipping as you approach.
  134. >You stomp down on the side of his nose forcing it into the dirt, boo boo leaks from the inside of one of his cheeks.
  135. >”Owies! Owies! Owies! Owies!” he starts to yell over and over as he kicks randomly in pain.
  136. >You stomp his nose one more time for good measure.
  137. >You turn back to the beaten smarty, “Go way!”
  138. >The fluffy starts to shuffle away on its belly, “Wahhh! Fwuffy wan nuu mo hewties…. Wahhhh!”
  139. >Roseberry comes running up and hugs the downed smarty, “Huggies make fwuffy feew betteh.”
  140. >You look sternly at Roseberry, “Dat bad fwuffy! Nuu gif huggies!”
  141. >You raise your hoof to threaten a boop and she shrinks away, “Fwuffy sowwy! Nuu hewt fwuffy munsta smawty!”
  142. >You stomp in frustration, “Deadmeat nuu munsta!”
  143. >You ignore the beaten smarty as he crawls on his belly back to his area.
  144. >Dammit staggers beside you, “Onwy daddeh gif dat owies daddeh fwuffy!”
  145. >He lies in front of you exposing his belly and wagging his tail, “Fwuffy sowwy, nuu make daddeh fwuffy mad no mo.”
  146. >You ignore the daddy comment and look at your ruined area.
  147. >The grass is trampled, poopies are everywhere, some of the females are still ranting, “Fwuffies! Owies! Bad fwuffies!Boo boo juice! Fwuffy wan speshul huggie noa!”
  148. >One female is dragging a crying male under a bush.
  149. >Some fluffies are still hugging and crying, you have lost some of your herd from them running off and others died from fright.
  150. >”Bwing Deadmeat de fwuffies who brought bad fwufiies!”
  151. >You walk back to your bush.
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