Title: LNPP from thread 127 Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/FCMV9CPG First Edit: Monday 12th of September 2016 04:56:23 AM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Monday 12th of September 2016 04:56:53 AM CDT 653_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I need to meet a quota! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause   "Howdy hay."   >I need some filling fillers. What's your favorite filling?   "Peach jam."   >Oh that's a little surprising. I kinda thought it would be-   "There's a funny story to it actually."   >I know where this is going isn't it?   "This one time, me and mah cousin Peach were going to a donut fair. Now we were disagreeing, which would be the better donut filling. Ah' obviously said apples while she said Peaches, so we decided to make it a competition and bet to see which was better. Ah lost the bet and she won, but in the attempt to distract me while making my own, she tripped on an apple, fell into the fryer and fried herself from the waist down, but everypony enjoyed her Ponuts...it's what she called her peach filled donuts...heh ponuts."   >...that's...that's some story, but that's all the time we have, so so long and goodbye everypony!   "But that's only-" AJ wakes up. "...the second time she fried herself...aw...but she really should avoid the fryer."   654_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I don't want people thinking I'm dead! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause   "Hidally Howdilly."   >Folks have been wandering how your cousin Peach stays alive. Any comments?   "Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, extensive surgery...and lots of skin grafts. If it wasn't for Celestia's free health care she'd probably would have owed a lot in medical bills. It's going to be hard to convince me that she's dead unless Ah' see her corpse...which reminds me of a funny story."   >Oh boy.   "This one time me and mah cousin Peach were touring a medical school. The tour was a mite boring for her so she took a nap on a bed and got mistaken for a cadaver. Our tour ended when we saw her getting operated on...it was funnier than it should have been they cut her open and she woke up screaming."   >That's all the time we have folks and hopefully you're not waking up on the operating table.   "But Ah' didn't get to the part where-" AJ wakes up. "-she got a new liver...oh well, not like it was new for long."   655_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but some writers are peeved that they can't keep a schedule! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause   "Howdy proudy"   >Have you ever played the first Super Smash Sisters?   "No...buuuuut..."   >...Just let it out.   "This one time, me and mah cousin Peach were getting back at cousin Pumpkin by smashing her pumpkins...long story...and she was a jerk. Anyway, at some point we were setting up a scarecrow army, when she decided to pick a fight with the scarecrows. Don't ask me how, but she successfully lost her fight against a dozen inanimate scarecrows. She'd miss one, have another bounce off a pumpkin and attack her. The pumpkin patch became a ring and she wound up getting incredibly bruised...we may have been a little drunk."   >That's all the time we have, but thanks for joining us!   "Oh wait, Ah' didn't mention what cousin Pumpkin did after-" AJ wakes up. "-ward...oh well. Impaled is kind of a scary word."   656_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >AJ "Pennydrop" 'Pinkie' ~~~~ >So we finally meet...wait cousin Peach?   "...YOU'RE princess Applejack?"   >Of course Ah' am you little bitch. How are you? Ah' didn't even recognize you without the scars. Last Ah heard you had something to do with the mushroom kingdom or something.   Pennydrop switches to a country accent. "Oh yeah, that kind of fell through. It had great mushrooms though. It was magic for my skin. Ah' eventually did meet this Deer. One thang led to another and now Ah'm in charge of Fawntaine Futuristics.   >Did you sleep your way up?   "Oh fuck you. Ah' moved up purely from mah skills and experience thank you very much."   >Uh huh, sure Ah' believe you. Was he cute?   "...For a deer, yeah Ah' guess he was okay."   >Then he's dead isn't he?   "...shut up, Ah' don't have ta answer that. What about you? Holy shiiiat, AJ, you're a princess now?"   >Oh yeah. It's a tough job. AJ adjusts her crown. >Ahem, but somepony's got to run the country.   "Puh lease, you're going to run the country into the ground if you're anything like you were with your apple farm."   >Funny coming from the mare who managed to have all her peach trees fall down on her.   "You wanna bring that up? What about the time, you made a bomb from an apple and blew us both up."   >You could have stopped me anytime.   "...it was funnier in my head."   >Ahh, good times. Hold up, Ah' need you to meet mah friends. Ah, think Pinkie would just love to meet you.   ~Later~ 'No...way...'   "Cousin Applejack's told me a lot about you."   >Did Ah' ever tell you this one time me and mah cousin Peach were betting which one could be the better national fruit? The funny thing is-   657_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Twi" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the Non-Canon World is my domain!   "Mmmm. Mm. Mmm."   >Mmmm oooh yes...that's a good lemon bar.   "It is. Taste like a dream."   >They're dreamy, but not fleeting because you can get even more at Lemon Drop's Lemon Stand and lemon fiction. It's lemony good.   "..."   >...   "..."   >Luna told me I had to do things that I'm not proud of in this business. That's one of them...So did you get everything?   "That was a lot to take in, but from what you're telling me is that you've eaten your shadow and have been using her powers to help you in the Dream Eater conflict, but if Luna finds out, she's probably going to break your mind, literally, in order to take your shadow out. You're in quite a pickle. Since Princess Luna focuses primarily on prevention and your case is rare, that means other solutions are hard to formulate when prevention fails."   >Yup. What do you think I should do?   "I don't know. The sensible thing might be to just let Princess Luna do what she thinks is best since this is really her field."   Pinkie makes a sad puppy-eyed face. "But that's not what I'm going to let happen. Luna's main concern is to prevent you from eating or harming other ponies. I understand her logic. She doesn't want a pony dream eater with an uncontrollable appetite...maybe if we could control the hunger somehow...um Pinkie can I ask a question?"   >What's the first thing I told you when you're with me?   "Yeah, I know. Don't question it, but I need to know. Why did you bring Discord here?" Discord is frozen in place.   >Oh, just rubbing it in a little.   658_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some writers really like a gag! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause   "Howdilly wobbly."   >Have you ever been to Ponyville at night?   "Ah' don't usually go out at night because Ah'm too exhausted, but the few times Ah' have weren't terribly noteworthy. Now, Las Haygas. That was a night to remember."   >This is going to go where I think it is isn't-   "So this one time, me and mah cousin Peach were staying in Haygas. We wanted to check out the city at night, so we decided to try and look down on the city with it's neon lights. Only we didn't have much bits left, so we climbed up this tall building that was under construction. We had a great mini party up high. Except it turns out, it wasn't under construction. It was scheduled for demolition. It blew out from under us and we probably would have been goners if we hadn't swung on a crane and into another building. I suffered a bunch of scrapes and a concussion, but cousin Peach took the brunt of the glass, so she had like a hundred glass shards in-"   >That's all the time we have, but hopefully you're not going to wake up covered in glass. G'night everypony!   "But I didn't get to the part where-" AJ wakes up. "we met this nice paramedic...oh well she struck out with him anyway when the ambulance crashed and crushed his pelvis."