Title: LNPP from thread 104 Author: Asian_Anon Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/YWF1vxHz First Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 01:05:58 AM CDT Last Edit: Monday 22nd of August 2016 01:05:58 AM CDT 511_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Gummy" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and the regrets creep in! Now for our main guest...Gummy! Applause.   "..." *blinks*   >I've been wondering for a while, but what do you dream of?   "That depends on what you mean? If you mean what kind of dreams I have as I sleep each night, it's mostly of you and me together."   >Aww.   "If you mean dream as to what I aspire, I guess for now I'd like to be at peace with that fact that I am an alligator who has no teeth and wouldn't be able to survive independently without you, but at the same time I appreciate the love and care you give me even though I would be unable to defend you if something were to happen. It's a dilemma of wanting to protect the ones you care about, but lacking the ability to do so, for I am a toothless alligator."   >Hey hey, don't worry about it. I can take care of myself.   "Then my dream is to have some grounded up meat. I'd really like that."   >Hmmm weeeell...I'll talk to Spike. He might be able to hook us up.   "Thank you, Pinkie. I could never bring myself to hate you."   >That's our show. G'night everypony! Gummy wakes up.   "..." He blinks and bites on Pinkie's tail.   512_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but you've got to know the territory! Now for our main segment...Mail Time! Applause as she opens up a letter.   >Let's try answering some of your letters here on the show. Sweet Nectar writes "Dear Pinkie" Hey that's me! "I'm at the store and I'm trying to get some honey, but all I can find is soup. Can you help?"...um...maybe you should try another aisle. Opens up another letter.   >Vanilla Puddinghead writes "Dear Pinkie, my dog is acting strange. He keeps meowing a lot and hates water. He likes to scratch up the upholstery and chases after birds. Can you help me figure this out?"...it uh...sounds like you have a cat instead of a dog...let's try one more time. Opens a 3rd letter.   >This one says, "Dear Pinkie, I've decided to try out clothes. After a while they start smelling funny, so I throw them in a corner and wear another set of clothes, but the same problem comes up. They start smelling funny. The clothes in the corner are piling up and they don't smell any better. What should I do?"...how about washing your clothes? Because it sounds like you should wash your clothes...Hmmm maybe I should delegate mail time to somepony else. That's all the time we have everypony and thanks for joining Mail Time! Waves   513_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, but sweet dreams are made of these! Now for our main segment...Mail Time with the Pink Pony Club!   "I'm the pretty one <3"   'I'm the grumpy one.'   >And I'm the crazy one! I'm gonna be delegating something to you two. DT you ran an advice desk once. This should be right up your alley.   'Um...yay?'   >Just read some of my fan mail. I'll be sitting over here eating popcorn.   "Okay um...Cruise Control writes, My friends keep playing this weird game where they say think fast and throw balls at me. They hit my face every time. I don't know what they want from me. What should I do?"   '...really? They're throwing balls at you because they want you to catch it you moron. Maybe they hope that if they hit you in the face enough times, you'll get some common sense knocked into you.'   "That makes sense! Fig Newton asks, It's so cold during winter. While I have a warm house sometimes I want to go outside. I'm working on something made from wool and covers you up. I'm hoping it'll combat the cold, but I don't know what to call it yet. Any suggestions?"   'Yes...you made a sweater...a *CENSORED*-ing sweater...which have already been invented! You should go get Cruise Control's friends to throw balls at you until the day you can finally think fast, because you're too slow to come up with a SWEATER TO KEEP WARM!'   "Let's do another one! Crackpot writes, I fell down some stairs and heard a lot of cracking on the way down. I've tried putting ice on myself and some band aids, but I'm still in a lot of pain. Can you help?"   '...What the *CENSORED* is wrong with you!? GO SEE A DOCTOR! WE HAVE FREE HEALTH CARE! WHILE YOU'RE THERE TAKE CRUISE CONTROL WITH YOU SO BOTH OF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR HEAD EXAMINED AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU CAN GO SUFFOCATE YOURSELVES WITH FIG NEWTON'S SWEATER!'   >*munches on popcorn* I love this club.   514_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but who am I to disagree! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause   "Howdy everypony."   >Tell us Applejack. Do you ever go off telling some tall story?   "Ah admit, it does happen sometimes. Like one time, Granny Smith and Ah were-"   >Too long could not listen! Thanks tuning in everypony and see you later!   "The story's not that long, honest."   >...I'm not taking that chance. AJ wakes up.   "...This reminds of that one time, me and mah cousin orange were-"   515_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Rarity" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I travel the world and the seven seas! Now for our main guest...RARITY!!! Applause   "Hello everypony and you Pinkie."   >So what did you think of the pilot?   "Pinkie...don't quit your day job. Also I don't know how I feel being included into-"   >It's a good thing I have a night job then! That's all the time we have and if we're lucky we might get a spin-off!   "I'd like to voice my disapproval of this of this."   >That's the spirit, Posh Spice! Rarity wakes up.   "...is this how I'll get famous? Crashing parties?"   516_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Twilight" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but everypony is looking for something! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!! Applause   "Salutations everypony."   >Have you ever thought about marketing your simulator? Those enchanted comics are doing pretty well.   "SARS needs a lot of power. I don't know if I'd be able to make it affordable for consu-"   >That's all the time we have! Join us next time when I try to do an aggressive take over of the entertainment industry!   "Wait is that why you want-"   >Hahaha I'm joking Twilight! It's not like I was going to try and buy out the simulator from you! Twilight wakes up.   "...Sometimes I can't tell if she's joking or being serious...this is one of those times."   517_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Fluttershy" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of them want to use you! Now for our main guest...FLUTTERSHY!!! Applause   "H-hi."   >You were a great wildcard! I called it!   "But I...I didn't really-"   >Plus we have the attention of some very influential ponies with money. A huge bonus!   "Oh, I guess that's good, but I don't think the way we got it was-"   >If we keep this up we maybe we can get you your own show where you try to prank ponies!   "I'm not terribly good at pranks."   >It'd still be cute if you fail, so it doesn't matter. That's all the time we have, but keep your eyes wide open for my friend, Fluttershy! Fluttershy wakes up to eyes all over the wall staring at her.   "...*squeak*"