Coffee And Pones: Fluttershy [AiE]

Synopsis: Anonymous discovers coffee, in Equestria, and has his pony friends give it a try.

 

 

>Be Anon.

>You've done it. You've really done it.

>You've found the hills of Columbia. Or in this case the hills of Poneumbia?

>Okay… That sounds really disgusting. You'll have to work on the name.

>Behold. The almighty arabica plant.

>You take several bags worth of the fruit with you.

"Now for the long trek back into civilization… Could take months."

>"Anon? What're ya doin' in the eastern orchard. And what's this I hear about a… 'Trek'."

"Dammit, Applejack. You screwed up my monologue."

>"Well, as long as you git yer log from a tree that ain't one of ours, you can 'trek', yerself outta mah way. I got work ta do."

"… Oh, Applejack. You're just so silly!"

>You playfully pinch her cheeks to accentuate your point.

>"… I don't know why you keep saying that. I'm not silly."

"Whatever you say. Silly Pony!"

>"Heh heh. There ain't no arguin' with ya. Oh, while yer at it. Can ya pull the rest of these weeds? They've been growin' like wildfire."

>Today… You have struck gold

"With pleasure!"

>Time to go to work.

 

>The month long hike back to Ponyville was a success. You made great time. It literally took about five minutes

>Mostly because you were actually at Sweet Apple Acres.

>Nobody needs to know that.

>In fact. You throw dirt all over yourself so it looks like you've been through hell in a basket for hands.

>"Hi, Anon!"

>The pink pone of energy bounces towards you.

"What up, Pinko!"

>"Nothing! Hey! what's in all of those bags! Is it… some kind of ingredient for a cake? Or maybe it's components for a suit of armor. Maybe it's even the essence of life itself! Which reminds me of a really funny story by the way! Ya see-"

>Serenity now!!

"No, Pinks. It's fruit. Soon, though. It will be Coffee. Delicious, life-giving, energy-inducing, morality-boosting Coffee."

>Okay, maybe you got a tad carried away with that.

>"Sounds yummy! I can't wait to try it."

"You'll get your chance. Matter of fact, all of you will know the true meaning of temporary bliss"

>"I can't wait~. Oh and… Why did you throw dirt on yourself. Is it some kind of ~Human~ ritual?"

"… Kinda. GOTTAGOBYE!"

>Run to your house! Say nothing to no one. It will work!

>Upon entering your home, you begin forming your plan.

 

>A certain amount of days later, and you've brewed a batch of premium coffee. It smells like greatness, in a can, for only .99 cents each. Limited time offer.

>You invited Fluttershy over for a cup. No sex needed. Not this time anyways.

>She was the only one who was free at the time.

>You just have to play the waiting game. Which is ten-times more fun when your house smells freaking amazing.

 

>Come and knock on our door~

>We've been waiting for you~

>Where the Kisses are~-

>*knock Knock*

"Aw man! It took me forever to remember that damn song."

>Etiquette!

"Uh... Be right there!"

>Open the door, get- Don't you fucking do it!

>You calmly open the door, and to your not surprise, you see your good friend, Fluttershy.

>"Oh, Hi Anon. You, uh, wanted to see me?"

"Well I did invite you here, so yes. I did want to see you."

>"That's good. I thought that you were busy or something and-"

"Nonsense! Come inside. We have much to discuss."

>Wow that sounded kind of foreboding.

>To be fair, you have been getting high on your own supply.

 

>Through some 'blah-blah-blah' style chatter. Fluttershy has managed to down three cups.

>Her initial reaction was as follows:

>"Um... This is certainly... exotic, and wonderful in its own way. But do you maybe have something else to drink? I wouldn't want to waste this... -delicious- beverage all on myself. That would be selfish"

>You managed to pull the "You don't like the special thing that I made for you?" routine.

>Did you feel bad? Not at all. She actually ended up liking it.

 

>On to current events.

"You doin' okay, Flutts?"

>Her pupils must've forgotten how to communicate. one is much more dilated than the other.

>"Y-y-y-yes! I'm f-f-f-f-fine, Anon. W-w-w-why do you ask."

>The shakes. Maybe you made this a little too strong.

>Mental note added.

>Oh. Her wings also started fluttering at a frightening pace.

"I'm just wondering. You look like you could you could do like a million laps around Ponyville, or something.

>"I PROBABLY COULD! WANNA SEE?"

>*Crash*

>Just like that she flew out through your window... Oh dear.

>Once outside, You see a continuous yellow streak around the perimeter of the town.

>She suddenly stops right in front of you, All you can see are her eyes. Eyes that are controlled by the bean of might!

>"Did you see that? It was SO AWESOME!!"

"Yes. Good job, and stuff. How about-"

>"We go inside and sit down? No sir."

>She read your mind. Coffee can't make you do that. Or maybe you've been doing it wrong.

>"OOH! I bet I could also FLY to Canterlot, While writing a novel about true love."

>Okay... You're not sure where to begin with that.

"Yeah... You do that."

>"Okay! HERE I GO!"

 

>Ten minutes later, she returns and gives you her 'novel'.

>... It's just awful.

>"Whoa. Anon? I feel kind of.. um, Heavy right now. And really slow."

>What goes up...

>"I think I just need to lie down."

>She falls asleep before she falls onto your couch.

 

>You open up your 'Brewing Journal'.

"Okay... Fluttershy, plus coffee? Never again. Well... Actually, a few cups less, and It could be a really great way to liven up a party. Or a great way to get her to go in the first place."

>You wonder who you should invite for the next trial.

>Hmm... How about a certain, ~Lady~, you know of.

>This could get interesting.