Vinyl Part 6: Anon's Drug Trip 2, Electric Boogaloo

"How could you let him get away with that?!"

>Raritan looks hurt that you're yelling at him.

>"He called me a pretty p0ny and scratched my ears..."

>His ears droop and Disc looks at you angrily.

>Your jaw drops at the rediculousness of his answer.

"He scratched your ears and you let him VIOLATE THE PRINCESS!?!"

>Disc Ward looks appalled as Raritan breaks into tears.

>"Violate the princess? We would never have allowed that! Raritan meant that Anonymous stole from the Royal Equestrian Treasury, and made off with it in her chariot. And please don't yell at Raritan, he's very sensitive."

>You immideately calm down somewhat.

>The situation is not as bad as you thought.

>Perhaps if you can find the chariot and the treasure before the guards, you can get Anon off the hook.

"I see, well, thank you for the information gentlemen, I shan't bother you further. Good day to you."

>You head off towards town to ask around about Anon.

>Raritan looks at Disc Ward.

>"Thanks for sticking up for me, Little Spoon..."

>Disc shushes him as they head off in search of their quarry.

>"Don't call me that outside the barracks, people could hear..."

 

>You are now Anon.

>And you just ran into a hatless Applejack.

"Hey Applejack... Where's your Stetson..?"

>She glares at you in anger as she pokes you in the chest with a hoof.

>"You set it on fire and used it to scare off a manticore last night, a manticore that YOU attracted while you were busy interrupting the girls sleepover in the clubhouse last night!"

>Oh dear.

"Okay... I owe you a hat then... Do you know why I was at the clubhouse? And if Vinyl was with me at the time?"

>Applejack shakes her head, still glaring angrily at you.

>"I don't have no idea what ya'll were doing at the clubhouse, but I know you were alone."

>You scratch your head thoughtfully.

"Hmmm... Okay, are the girls still around? Maybe they know where I was before I came to the clubhouse."

>Applejack points you towards the clubhouse, and you head off, after promising to replace her hat.

>A short walk later, you arrive at the Cutie Mark crusaders clubhouse, and find the three fillies excitedly repairing a head sized hole in the wall.

>No wonder you have a headache.

>As soon as she sees you, Scootaloo runs towards you, followed by the other two.

>"Hi Daddy!"

>Wut.jpg

"Hey Scoots... Why did you just call me.... Daddy?

>Scootaloo pouts.

>"Don't you remember, it's what you wanted us to call you when we were playing that game last night."

>OH GOD NO.

>Please, Celestia, if you have any mercy let me be wrong.

"I don't really remember what we were playing last night... Did I tell you a name?"

>"Yeah! You were Big Daddy and we were all Little Sisters... And you had to protect us from the manticore!"

>You sigh in relief. You fought a manticore, but at least you didn't fuck fillies.

>What kind of sicko would do that?

"Okay, two more questions... Do you know where I came here from? And was I wearing my pants?"

>Sweetie Belle's eyes light up when you mention pants.

>"You left your pants here last night Anon! Said they were too heavy!"

>She runs up into the clubhouse with Applebloom and comes back out dragging your pants.

>All of the holes in your pants are tied off and they seems to be filled with something.

>When Sweetie finally gets the pants to you, with Applebloom's help, you kneel down and look at what you put inside them.

>Your pants are filled with gold and gems, more gold and gems than you have ever seen in your life.

"What... The fuck...."

>Scootaloo hops in place and giggles.

>"You told us that the flying purple hippo helped you get it, you said it was from.... Canterlot!"

>That can't be good.

>Two people talking to you about a hippo, it must be a conspiracy against you.

"And do you know where I was before I got here?"

>Applebloom answers that question.

>"Ah remember! You said something about Rarity, and her not wanting any of your priceless royal gems to lay for your costume!"

>Priceless royal gems... Costume... Definitely not good.

>So, Carousel Boutique is your best lead...

>You stand up, lifting the pants over your shoulders so they hang on either side of your neck.

>Damn that's heavy.

"Thanks girls, I'm sorry I interrupted your sleepover last night, i'll make it up to you sometime."

>"Oooh, ooh! Will you give us some magical coom juice?"

>You facepalm as you walk away from the three fillies.

"No! I don't have any, nor will I in the foreseeable future!"

>Those damn fillies.

>You make it to the road and start off towards Carousel Boutique.

>Along the way, you cross paths with a pair of royal guardsponies.

>You are seized by a slight panic attack, and begin to hyperventilate.

>Something is weird though, those guards seem slightly familiar to you.

>They're bickering, and don't even take note of you.

>You pass them and breath a sigh of relief, but you are stopped by a "HEY!"

>You freeze and slowly turn around.

>The guards are staring intently at you.

>You're pretty sure the end has come.

>You will be arrested for stealing from the royal treasury, and you will be submitted to the torture of Luna's incredibly loud spaghetti.

>The guards stare at you for a moment longer, before one of them starts to speak.

>"Have you seen a human around these parts? He's about your size, and he has some sort of bag full of gold and jewels.."

>What the hell?

>Just play along Anon.

"Uhhh.... No, I haven't seen a human around here for a while, maybe you should check the Everfree Forest?"

>The other guard pipes up.

>"That's a pretty good idea, it would be the perfect place to stash a stolen treasure! Come on Rar, we gotta find that human!"

>The two guards dash off in the direction of the forest.

>You thank whatever deity is watching over you that they weren't the brightest bulbs in the box, and continue on your way.

>After an incredibly tiring walk, you arrive at Rarity's store, and walk in to see the alabaster unicorn working looking unbelievably tired.

"Hey Rarity I was wondering if-"

>"No! i already told you I will not accept your stolen goods! It's bad enough that I was woken up at 1 in the morning and forced by that... That WHORSE of a DJ into making you a disguise! Which you used to commit a heist! I will involve myself any further in your scheme!"

>Your mouth opens and closes like a fish but no words come out

>"Furthermore, I do not know where you got the idea for your disguise, but you can be sure that I will never again be making something as ridiculous looking as 'Captain P0ne'!"

>You stare at the seamstress, dumbfounded.

>She looks like she's going to use you for a pincushion for all those needles she's levitating.

"Well, that explains quite a lot, thanks for your help Rarity I'll just be going now bye!"

>You run out of the store before she can say anything else.

>You wander around P0nyville for a while, pondering on the facts you've collected so far.

>You paid a visit to Rarity with Vinyl in the middle of the night and had her make a disguise for you.

>You went to Canterlot during the night, wearing said disguise.

>You managed to sneak into the castle, past the legion of royal guards, and stole a pantsload of gold and priceless jewels.

>Then you came back here, tried to pay Rarity with the stolen jewels for the costume.

>After that you apparently played some weird real life Bioshock with the CMC's, and fought off a manticore by feeding AJ's flaming Stetson to it.

>And then there's the hippo, but you're pretty sure the p0nies are making it up just to fuck with you.

>The only question you have is, how did you get to Canterlot and back in less than 8 hours?

>After pondering the question for several minutes, there is only one answer you can think of that makes sense: Twilight.

 

>You are now Octavia.

>You have been running damage control around town, covering for Anon and looking for the stolen chariot.

>Apparently he and Vinyl managed to bother almost every resident of P0nyville at some point last night.

>You helped Lyra find Bonbon, who was stuck in Colgate's dental chair.

>Incidentally, by finding Bonbon, you helped Colgate find her dental chair.

>You helped many other p0nies out of various predicaments.

>You even had to help Pinkie out of a giant fruitcake.

>Each p0ny you've helped has agreed to keep quiet on the events of last night, promising to send Anon to you should they see him.

>You are on your way to Fluttershy's cottage when you run into the two guards from earlier.

>From the branches stuck in their armour and their overall less resplendent look, you surmise they have been in the Everfree forest.

"Good morning again sirs, might I inquire as to the state of your search?"

>The one called Disc Was shakes his head sadly at you.

>"We searched the edge of the forest quite thoroughly on a lead we were given, but it seems the four armed monkey was wrong. The human Anonymous was not to be found in the Everfree."

>Four armed monkey?

>Maybe this guard hit his head a little too hard during training, because you don't think you've ever heard of a four armed monkey.

>Raritan has been quiet all this time, looking at a bright blue flower he seemingly picked in the forest.

>"Do you think Rarity would like me more if I gave her this flower I picked Disc?"

>You suppress a giggle as Disc glares at his companion.

>"What do you mean more? You've never even met her!"

>"Well maybe we should go and meet her then! Maybe she knows something about Anonymous!"

>The two guards walk away, arguing with each other as you chuckle and continue on to Fluttershy's cottage.

>You did not expect what you saw when you got there.

>Fluttershy frantically trying to keep her animals calm as she takes care of their various problems.

>The chipmunks have too many nuts in their mouths.

>The birds have their beaks tied closed with string.

>The skunk has a cork shoved up it's ass.

>And all the animals are bald.

>You heave a world weary sigh and head towards the panicking pegasus to offer your help.

 

>You are Anon once again.

>You've managed to get to Twilight's tree without incident, but you had to leave your stolen treasure in a bush a few blocks back.

>That shit was heavy.

>You knock on the door and open it to find the entire library in disarray.

>Books are strewn everywhere, scrolls are piled in the sink, and you think you see Owlowiscious shoved into the oven.

>In the middle of it all, Twilight is curled up in the foetal position, cradling what looks like a ruined book.

>Her mane is frazzled and her eyes are bloodshot.

"Uhh... Twilight... What happened here last night?"

>At the sound of your voice her eyes lock onto you and she lets out a snarl.

>"YOU! How could you do that to me last night?"

>Her voice cracks as she speaks, and the look she's giving you has you in fear for your life.

"What exactly did I do?"

>"You showed up last night with Vinyl, dressed in that ridiculous getup, and DEMANDED that I teleport you to Canterlot."

>She gets up and walks closer to you, an you back away slowly.

>"And when I REFUSED, you trashed my library and you..... And you...."

>She starts quivering and tears start running down her face.

>"You ate my book on Starswirl the Bearded...."

>Twilight is sobbing now.

>"So i sent you both to Canterlot like you asked. Then later you came back, and you stole Spike from me, saying that you loved grapes, and that he, as king of the grapes, would have the pleasure of being eaten by you..."

>Twilight has curled up into a ball again and is crying for her ruined book and her 'dead' baby dragon.

>You have no idea what to say, and even if you did, she seems to have gone into shock.

>Before you leave, you write her a wuick note of apology explaining what happened last night, and mention that you didn't actually eat Spike, you just left him somewhere in Applejack's orchard.

>You head back outside and go back to the bush you hid the treasure in.

>You have to find a way to get this back before Celestia notices.

>Come to think of it, how did you even get back here in the first place?

>As you heft the pants over you neck, one of the ropes tying the legs closed falls off, and to your utter dismay, all the gold and jewels start pouring out.

>You panic and start picking up everything before someone can see.

>Suddenly, Murphy's law.

>Raritan and Disc, kicked out of Rarity's boutique due to giving her poison joke, round the corner and spot you with all the shinies.

>"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!"

>Fuck this shit.

>You take off at a run in the opposite direction, the guards giving chase.

>You bolt through the marketplace, tipping over stalls and knocking over ponies trying to slow them down.

>After an epic montage chase scene, you find yourself backed into an alley.

>The two guards panting, slowly approach you.

>"Anonymous the human, you are.. *pant pant*... Under arrest for plundering the royal booty, and the theft of the royal chariot."

>Well, at least you know how you got back.

>Wait a second.

"Have you been going around telling people I've plundered the royal booty?"

>"Yes, why?"

>You break down in a fit of laughter.

"I hope Celestia never finds out I *snort* 'plundered her royal booty'"

>The guards look at you with confused expressions on their faces.

"And could you explain to me how exactly I stole a chariot that needs to be pulled by the royal guardsmen, and brought it here?"

>Your question is answered by a voice you dis not expect to hear.

>"You managed to steal the chariot with the aid of the very p0nies who are accusing you of the theft."

>As Raritan and Disc look at the ground in shame, Octavia steps into the alleyway with none other than Fluttershy.

>"I believe, Anonymous, that in light of this information, you will be absolved of any and all charges against you, right sirs?"

>The two guards nod sullenly, and Raritan sniffles.

"Wait a minute, you're trying to arrest me when you helped me get away with stealing the treasure? Why did you help me at all?"

>You turn to Octavia.

"And how do you know they helped me?"

>The grey earth p0ny smile at you and nods towards Fluttershy.

>"When you got back from Canterlot last night you crashed the chariot into Fluttershy's cottage, and she saw the three of you get out. You ran off with the treasure while these two were having fun shaving the fur off of Fluttershy's poor animals."

>Fluttershy glares at the two, and they mumble an apology.

>Disc Ward eventually lifts his head speaks up.

>"We weren't originally going to help you with your plan, but your companion at the time, the sexy blue haired unicorn, somehow.... Compelled us into taking some sort of pill. After that helping you get away with the heist seemed like a pretty good idea."

"Yeah that sounds like something she would do."

>Raritan shuffles awkwardly, and he turns to silently talk with his partner for a minute.

>They seem to reach some sort of agreement and turn back to you.

>"If we just take back the stuff you stole, and don't press any charges, can we forget about the entire thing? We can't really afford to lose this job."

>You glance over at Octavia, who nods, and at Fluttershy, who is still staring at them intently.

"Alright, seems fair enough, but I think you'll have to have a talk with Flutters here about what you did to the animals last night..."

>The two guards thank you profusely for keeping this quiet, and head back to Fluttershy's cottage while getting lectured about why it isn't right to shave animals.

>That leaves you and Octavia.

>You haven't been alone with her since the night you kissed her, and you feel the tension in the air.

>You take a few steps closer and kneel down in front of her, and give her an embarrassed smile.

"So uh.. Thanks? i guess I owe you one for that... You really saved my ass.."

>Octavia mutters something.

"What was that?"

>"I said you have no idea what I've been through today, I had to clean up half the town because of what you did! In fact, I don't even know why I did it, because you are obviously too stupid to-"

>You cut her off by putting your arms around her neck and locking lips with her.

>She initally protests, trying to push you away, but eventually relents and kisses you back.

>After too short a time you break the kiss and look into her eyes.

"Listen Tavi, I know things are weird between us right now. But I want you to know that I have never had someone in my life who is as good to me as you are. Thank you for being such a great friend to me."

>You get up, and quickly walk away, trying to resolve your growing feelings for Octiavia with... Whatever you and Vinyl have.

>Several minutes after you have left, Octavia is still sitting in the alley, tears dripping from here eyes.

>"I love you Anon... Even if you chose Vinyl over me... I love you..."

>She gets up and wipes the tears from her eyes, before putting on a small smile and walking back out into town.

 

>You are Vinyl Scratch.

>And you are sitting in your room, laughing your ass off at the video recording of last night.

>You are so glad you had your camera on you, because you convinced Anon, AND a pair of royal guards to steal from the royal treasury.

>The recording has gotten to the part where you went to the library to have Twilight send Anon and you to Canterlot.

>"Twiliiiiiggghhttt we wannaaa gooo to Canterloooootttt, can you teleport us there please?"

>The tired looking unicorn appears on screen, and she looks around at the devestation of the library.

>"What the hay did you do! And why do you want me to send you to Canterlot?"

>She sees Anon in his 'Captain P0ne' outfit.

>"... And what's THAT?"

>"We gotta go to canterlot to take some treasure!"

>You chuckle as Twilight and Anon get into an argument, ending with Anon holding Twilight's book on Starswag or whatever his name was hostage.

>"If you don't send us there... I'm going to... I'm going to eat this book!"

>"You wouldn't dare!"

>Anon tears out some pages from the book and stuff them in his mouth, chewing slowly and staring at Twilight as she watches in horror.

>The camera is shaking because you couldn't hold still, you were laughing too hard.

>Twilight angrily sent you both to Canterlot after that, and that's where you stopped filming and seduced the guards.

>With pills.

>You then took the express night train back to P0nyville, and went home.

>You turn off the video and wipe tears of laughter from your eyes, wondering how everything turned out.

>As far as you're concerned.Today was a pretty good day.