Ventriloquist Anon 4 [AiE]

>Your name is Luna

>You are a Princess of Equestria and Ruler of the Night.

>And currently you're "grounded".

>Your punishment has been to clean all the toilets in the palace for the next month.

>With no magic.

>Your hooves have already begun to prune.

>Ever since the incident at the tea party, Sister has found a punishment for you, your niece and her husband.

>It's been a few days since then, things have calmed but one thing plagues your mind.

>Something that may have been the very reason for all the uncouth outbursts during the event.

>How was it that you spoke without actually saying anything?

>As soon as you opened your mouth, words not of your own began speaking.

>In your own voice even!

>There was no magic afoot, the house has been sequestered from all magic during Twilight's incarceration, which >makes it all the more strange.

>In fact, you believe that it may be what has caused the Element of Magic's mental breakdown in recent days.

>After finishing the last toilet in the west wing, you spit out the bucket filled with cleaning implements.

>Continuing your duty to lower the moon you begin to make plans for a trip to Ponyville.

>Tomorrow you will begin an investigation into the matter.

>You think you'll start at Twilight Sparkle's abode.

>Sister must not find out until you have definitive proof.

 

>You are Anon.

>Who else would you be?

>Lately you haven't been as interested in pranking anyone since the tea party.

>You still do it of course, just with a little less enthusiasm.

>You've been preoccupied with the magnificent outburst of Princess Celestia.

>While deafening, it was music to your ears at the same time.

>You've had dreams of days where you and the sun princess have a picnic on a hill overlooking other ponies

>Singing songs.

>Screeching at the birds to shut the fuck up.

>Having fun with the common and noble ponies with your voices.

>This would continue until the day your vocal chords finally give out.

>You sigh.

>That obviously won't happen though.

>Considering the state Purple Smart is in, revealing your skills would just give you away as the primary cause of her suffering.

>Even in your brief time knowing Princess Celestia, you already can tell she values the welfare of her subjects. >Especially that of her prized pupil.

>You'll probably have your voice box ripped out or something when she finds out.

>Then you'd have to rely on "written words" and "Sign Language" to communicate.

>Ew.

>Sitting on a park bench you just slump and look at the sky.

"Why is karma such a bitch?" you ask no one in particular.

>While you ponder this age old question, your stomach decides to give it's own evaluation.

>Looking in your bit pouch you find just enough to get something light to eat.

>Getting up you begin a trek into town proper for sustenance.

 

>As you walk by various ponies give you a cheerful wave or "Hello".

>Sometimes you feel bad for tricking these friendly creatures.

>Sometimes.

>You remember when you first arrived here in Equestria.

>All you had on you were your clothes, your wallet, and ventriloquist dummy.

>His name was Woody

>He was dressed as a cowboy sheriff

>Yes, he was based off a character you loved as a child.

>He also had these creepy facial expressions when you pulled the right mechanisms.

>Probably why your new pony neighbors thought he was possessed or something.

>All they saw was a talking wooden puppet making vile remarks and verbally "abusing" the larger creature with the hand up his bum.

>It's like they've never seen a ventriloquist act.

>As you would soon learn, no, they haven't.

>A ventriloquist should expect automatonophobia from some of his audience but these ponies took it to

>pitchfork levels.

>Suffice to say Woody found a new home in a bonfire.

>The ponies being as naive as they were, thought they had "saved" you.

>You couldn't stay mad at them forever, but as a ventriloquist, losing your dummy is like losing a friend.

>Seeing how proud they were at "rescuing" you, you didn't have it in your heart to reveal the truth.

>But at the same time it was like you were betraying Woody's memory.

>So you settled on pranking (and occasionally tormenting) ponies with your voice.

>In your reminiscing, you don't notice Rarity (and a plethora of shopping bags) until your right on top of her.

>Helping the marshmallow pone up she begins dusting herself off with her magic while you pick up her fallen bags.

>"Ahem, what a pleasure it is to be bumping into you Anonymous."

"Likewise Rarity. Sorry for colliding into you like that, I wasn't looking where I was going."

>"Oh don't fret, it was an accident after all. Just do be a bit more mindful in the future alright darling?"

"Sure thing Rarity."

>As she trots off, it occurs to you that maybe a little fun wouldn't hurt before lunch.

>It might get you out of your funk.

>Quietly following her back to Carousel Boutique you peer in her shop/home's window.

>Rarity begins unpacking multiple fabric swatches, spools, and various other sewing related items.

>After that's done she pulls out an obviously unfinished dress from behind a curtain and begins prepping her tools.

>"Opal dear, this dress is made from newly enchanted thread. It was just so gorgeous I just

>had to make an outfit with it!"

>"Mreow"

>"I believe it was called Aetherweave."

>You would say that she's one of those crazy cat ladies that think their pets talk back to them but that's like calling the kettle black, especially considering your line of work.

>"Oh my it's dreadfully stuffy in here, don't you think so Opal?"

>The cat ignores her as she walks towards the window.

>"I'll just let some fresh air in."

>You duck out of sight as she opens a pane.

>Once she's out of earshot you praise your luck.

>Well, this makes your job easier.

>Peering back into the room, you decide that the dress will be the dummy.

 

>"This dress is going to be beautiful once I've finished with it."

>Rarity proceeds to thread a needle and carefully lines it up with the dress's hem.

>Making your voice a bit more feminine you toss it at the dress.

"OW!"

>Rarity's head perks up

>"Excuse me? Did someone say something?"

"You heard me. Dat bucking hurts! Or are yas deaf as well as rude?"

>Rarity looks at the needle, and then towards her dress.

>"A-are you t-talking to me?"

"You's sees any other pony in this here room I could be referring to?"

>"N-no, its just normally dresses don't talk."

"Oooohhhhh I sees how it is. Just because dresses don't talk back, you think it's perfectly fine to just rudely stick needles in us?!"

>"You misundersta-"

"Racist."

>"W-What?!" Rarity stammers.

"You heard me, you're a racist. Or to be more technical, a fabricist."

>"I can guarantee you I am not a raci-I mean fabricist."

"OH SNAP! OH SNAP!"

>Rarity lowers her ears and takes a few steps back.

"YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME A LIAR YOU WHITE WHORSE. JUST WAIT TILL MY GIRLFRIENDS HEAR 'BOUT DIS!

>I didn't mean to impl- I-I just wanted to make you into a beautiful ensemble."

"..."

>It takes you a bit of willpower to not laugh and blow it.

"Well why didn't 'ja say so toots. Go ahead and stick it in me."

>"A-are you sure?"

"I ain't gonna ask again. I wanna be beautiful!"

>Rarity's a bit shaken up and takes the needle apprehensively.

>"Here I go..."

>You take a deep breath as the needle pierces into the fabric.

"AUGGHHHAHGHGHGH!"

>"Panicking, marshmallow pone drops the needle.

>"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY!"

"No! I can take the pain! *Gasp* Momma raised a fighter! Go on!"

>On the verge of tears Rarity shakes her head.

"C'mon don't leave me like this, don't leave me looking like an unfinished rag doll!"

>"But this is hurting you!"

"THE CREATIVE PROCESS IS A PAINFUL ONE! DO IT! DON'T STOP"

>As Rarity continues to thread the needle you let out more blood-curdling screams.

 

>Eventually you're beginning to get tired, bored and hungry.

"Rarity..."

>"Y-yes?"

"I don't think I can take this anymore... I think I may have overdone it."

>"W-what?!"

"Sorry Rare's I-I d-don't think I can... be that masterpiece you wanted me to be..."

>Rarity becomes frantic at the potential loss of life, "No, don't go! You'll be the world's most fabulous dress. You'll see!"

"You's really think so?"

>She gives a small sad smile.

>"I know so."

"Dat's really kind of you's to say Rarity. Thank you."

>"..."

"Rarity, I see a light."

>"No! No Dress! Stay away from the light!"

>"Momma is dat you, I'mma commin home Momma..."

>"Dress? Dress?! Are you still with me darling?"

"..."

>"Dress? Dress?! DRESSSSS!"

>Rarity begins to cry over the inanimate fabric.

>Meanwhile you're still struggling to keep in the giggles.

>Slinking away quietly, you head into the market place.

 

>You realize in all your fun the sun has begun setting and all the stalls are closing up.

>With food no longer an option you just divert towards your home.

>You arrive ten minutes later and settle for some bread and jam.

>After locking your doors and windows you strip to your boxers and get into bed.

>Staring at the ceiling you begin to wonder if you should just come clean to the ponies.

>The thought doesn't occupy you for long when a sudden crash comes from your living room.

>Grabbing a nearby bat you cautiously walk down the stairs.

>In the moonlight from the nearby window you see that the crash was caused by (now)broken vase.

>Turning around to continue searching for the potential intruder you come face to face with Princess Luna herself.

"GAH!"

>"Anonymous, we need to talk."

"P-princess Luna?"

>"We want to learn how to manipulate our voice like you."

 

End