Flutterpleb 2: Electric Bloo bloo bloo

>Day "poorfags gonna poor" in Equestria

>It's your birthday

>The greatest day of the year

>Why?

>Because it's your's, and nobody else's

>Also presents, tons of presents

>But, there are a few things you hate about this day as well

>Guests, the word itself just crinkles your nose

>You never had regular guests, that would be just downright tolerable

>Oh no, your former human peers... you shudder at the thought

>Your new pony friends are better... and different... yeah

"Oh these guys are different, yeah pony girl-bros are... different"

>gulp

"At least I hope they will be... different"

>Different

>Your doorbell rings for the tenth time, you have been dreading opening it for about a half hour

>You would they they'd have left by now

>You open the door

>"Hiya anon!"

>The Harbinger of Celebrations and friends are here

>By friends you mean half of Ponyville

"Hi Pink-"

>Your house instantly transforms into Sugarcube Corner

>Pinkie is gone

>Almost immediately, a Peasant Box Kinect is forced upon your precious widescreen TV

>Praise Panasonic

>A mutant webcam slapped on top of it's frame

>You can feel a fire within yourself flare up and then suddenly extinguish itself, for the sake of your guests you reckon

>Your feet drag you and your superior tastes and opinions over to the couch, you plop down between two pink and blue pony twins

>The blue one opens her casual ass goddamn mouth to regurgitate some word vomit

>The air was so thick with your anxiety you could cut it with a knife

>Here_it_comes.xcf

>"So anon, what are you favorite games?"

>Fuck

>Dwarf Fortress, Civ V

>Don't tell her that you idiot, she'll ask to see what it is and it will all go downhill from there and end with someone hanging from the ceiling with their own spaghetti

>That won't work, think of something casual

>Little Big Planet

>Jesus Christ, not THAT casual

"Kirby 64"

>"Kirby?"

>Don't_Panic.pdf

>"I love Kirby!

>A pony with tastes, maybe this night won't be so bad

>You loosen up a bit

"You play? which one is your favorite?"

>"Amazing mirror is my favorite but ill play.... i like it bec......

>Her Superior-but-not-quite-as-superior-as-yours tastes are drowned out by you drifting off again

>Do you realize what you just thought?

>Maybe today wont be so bad

>Every time you say/think that something yellow happens and it ruins the whole day and your favorite shirts

>She went right through your good shorts last time

>"... Advance Wars too, how do you feel about it?

"What? Oh yeah i love Kirby."

>"hmm? Have you been listening? Advance Wars, not Kirbs.

>Battalion Wars tried it's best but fell really short of it's goal. Unless it's goal was shitting up the Franchise.

>Before she can say anything Pinkie cries out a sing songy-

>"IT'S TIME FOR THE BIRTHDAY COLT TO OPEN HIS PER-RESEEEEENTS~!

>Ugggghhhh

>With a groan you lift up off of your Leather Couch™ to your dining room, where everyone was gathered round to see you open the presents they got for you

>This brings a tear to your eye

>Or it would if they didnt use this shit-tier wrapping paper

>Balloons? Really?

>Another one has bears and hearts on it

>Open up a dictionary and the entry for "pleb" has this gift wrap as it's main picture

>That better have not came from Flutter "My favorite flavor of popsicle is dick" shy

>There is a very real, very 90% chance that came from her

>You sit down at the head of the table that pinkie brought in

>It's big enough, surprisingly, that everyone has a place to sit

>You whisper over to her

"Pinkie how did you get this table in here without me knowing?

>"Oh I just brought it in through the back silly!

>You don't have a "back"

>You don't question it, your head would explode if you even begun to understand

>A grey present with a muffin design is slid over to you

>You look around for the mare you are certain this came from

>Pinkie catches you

>"Sorry anon, she couldn't make it. Sick relative."

"Bummer"

>You open it

>The boxes walls fall open revealing a muffin basket. All Pralines, your favorite

>Everyone is looking, say something generic

"Wow, Pralines! Just what I wanted! I'll have to send Derpy a thank-you card

>Smiles all around

>Just_as_planned.gif

>Everyone chatters for a bit before Pinkie quiets them down again

>Another gift, a sky blue shoe-box looking present

>It's a can full of air, to clean keyboards with

"Gee thanks rainbow"

>You say with a smile, casuals enjoy smiles

>How unexpected of her

>You would say if you didnt fully expect that from her

>the next bunch of gifts are what you would expect from people giving housewarming presents

>Scented candles from Twilight, a bushel of apples from Applejack, a novelty toaster that plays mp3's from Vinyl, a designer throw cover for the Couch™ from Dressmallow, a whoopie cushion that burps from Pinkie, that sort of thing.

>One present sends chills up your spine, something just seems off about it.

>It's a plain looking, stereotypical, birthday present. The only thing "off"about it is that it's yellow with a pink bow

>That's it

>If anyone else saw it they wouldn't think anymore of it, just a gift

>It looks like she learned something from your last encounter

>No pleb ass wrapping, standard size for birthday packaging,and a masterfuly tied bow.

>9/10 Not bad for socialy awkward yellow pone

>but alas, there's rape or at the very least, awkwardness concentrate in this box

>theres no escaping fate

>At least there are witnesses this time

>You open the box

>Nigga_you_just_went_full_Flutters.rar

>Fluttershy pops out of the box holding a pink dildo in her hooves and clenching a box condoms in her teeth

>she spits out the box and says

>"Happy birthday my big, strong, stallion!

>She lunges forward to steal a kiss, and you almost let her

>almost

>You casually lean back (the ONLY fucking thing you will EVER casually do) just out of her reach

>She recoils back to her box in confusion

>"I-Is something wrong Anon?

"You bet your flank there's something wrong, I thought we talked about this"

>"Oh Anon"

>she pulls her hooves to her chest, playfully shifts from side to side, and gazes at you seductively

>"You know I just can't stay away from a big, strong... uh...

"Looks like you ran out of adjectives there flutters, now just where the hell should I start?

>The dildo draws you attention because how the fuck could it not, you pick it up

"Nutterflutter, Iv'e always said if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right. I assumed we we're in mutual agreement when I communicated that to you -sigh- but I wasn't being clear."

>She's just a-sitting in that box, dumbfounded. The rest of your guests have not disappeared as your casual-bashing induced tunnel vision would suggest and are currently watching the spectacle unfold as if it was the slowest train wreck they have ever seen.

"If youre not going to splurge on the Dragon model you might as well not even bother, I wouldn't fuck this thing with a stolen asshole. 2/10"

>A few of the mares blush, a few others take note.

>You pick the condom box up off of the floor

"Dammit Flutterbye, you should know better than anyone. Legion-mare master race, get this pleb ass Ponex out of my sight."

>Blush blush blush, scribble scribble scribble.

>One cream colored mare holds up a hoof

"Yes, you, third from the left"

>"What do you think of the new coffee shop down by the library?"

"Absolutely disgusting dot pee en gee"

>General sounds of amazement come from the crowd as Flutter "Plebbin' 4 life" shy slinks out of the room and back to her cottage, presumably to plot more casual assault.

>You spend the rest of the party chatting with various ponies about things you hate but have never tried, dancing your best hardcore gamer dance (you know the one), and thinking about just how awkward fluttershy's sexual advances can get.

>Fucking Casualshy