Title:           i am berry drunk
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/cJiyuFue
First Edit:      Monday 15th of April 2013 04:58:04 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 15th of April 2013 04:58:04 AM CDT

>It's beer o'clock, motherfuckers
>You're sitting in your favorite Ponyville pub, the Stumbling Stallion, with a glass of cold beer in front of you and good times ahead
>Everypony around you is drinking up as well, enjoying their unwinding time at the pub and not even casting a second glance at the one human at the bar
>You still feel a bit of relief that you've been in Ponyville long enough that you aren't seen as an anomaly anymore
>Hell, you even made a few friends
>Berry Punch, the town drunkard, is one of them
>You drank out with her at the Stumbling Stallion fairly often, the two of you got along well and she was actually able to keep pace with you, which was surprising considering that these technicolor ponies all seemed to be complete lightweights
>What can you say, you'd hit a frat party or two back on Earth and knew how to hold your liquor
>No Berry tonight, though, she was on a date with somepony named "Carrot Cake"
>You didn't know him, but still gave him your blessing, and not only because you were fairly drunk
>Okay, because it was because you were fairly drunk
>Still, Berry was a fantastic pony and she deserved to be happy
>With optimistic thoughts, you raise your glass to your lips to let the crisp, bubbly nectar wash over your tongue
1/7
 
>Almost as if on queue, the bar door slams open
>You try not to spit out your beer in surprise
>In the doorway stands a familiar maroon pony
>Berry Punch, ladies and gentlemen
>Only she seems different
>Her mane is tousled (more than usual, at least), her eyes are wide and bloodshot (more than usual, at least), and her jaw is clenched
>More than usual, at least
>The whole bar goes silent, everypony staring at her ragged, distraught form
>Without a word, Berry stomps up to the bar
>"Whiskey. Now."
>The shellshocked barhop nods quickly and hastily picks up a bottle of Jim Buck and a shot glass with his magic
>"No glass. Give me the bottle."
>Holy shit
>Sweating slightly, the barhop hoofs the bottle over to her, and she grabs it roughly in both hooves
>Lifting the mouth of the bottle to her lips, she begins to drink
>And oh, does she drink
2/7
 
 
>You stare, mouth agape, as she downs nearly half the bottle in one pull before slamming it back down onto the bar
Uh... Berry? ...You okay?
>Breathing heavily, she slowly casts her eyes onto you
>"Great. Just great. How are you, Anon?"
Um... I'm d-
>"Great! Want to talk to me outside for a bit?"
>As if you had any sort of choice
>Berry all but drags you away from the bar (and your half-full pint) and toward the bar's patio door
>As the two of you exit, she slams the door, and you're pretty sure you hear the wood splinter a little
>Berry is practically hyperventilating as she reaches back into the hammerspace behind her body to procure a cigarette and a lighter
>How the fuck do these horses do that?
>Never mind, pontificate cartoon logic later
>Pulling out your own cigarette, you light up as Berry strongly exhales
>She looks you hard in the eye
>"The motherfucker was MARRIED."
>You blink a few times blankly
Uh... What?
>"Carrot Cake! He's fucking married!"
>She stomps her hoof roughly and snorts out a cloud of smoke
Whoah, Berry. What the hell happened? Carrot Cake is married?
>"YES!"
>You are not good with handling delicate, high-stress situations
>So, like an idiot, you asked her this
...How do you know?
>She surges forward, planting her hooves on your chest with murder in her eyes
>"Because his Luna-damned WIFE walked in on us while we were FUCKING!"
3/7
 
>You honestly don't know what to say
>You have a furious alcoholic pony staring you down and breathing smoke into your face
>So you do what you do best
Berry... Please, calm down for a second.
>Damage control
>Berry drops back down onto all four hooves and looks away from you, rage simmering inside her
I know how angry you must be... Hell, I'm a little angry just hearing about it. But there's nothing you can do now but move past it. The hell with him if he lied to you.
>She glances sideways at you
>You must have been getting through
That bastard doesn't deserve a pony as great as you. And if he's cheating on his wife, he doesn't deserve her either.
>Berry looks somewhat calmer at your words
>Either you were saying the right things (doubtful), or the whiskey she'd just chugged was finally kicking in
Berry, you've been one of my best friends since I showed up here. You're a happy, fun pony that I always have a good time around, and that son of a bitch had no right to manipulate you like that.
>She takes a step forward, now looking you in the eye
>Her eyes are wide and look a little misty
>"...You really like me that much?"
>Definitely the whiskey kicking in
4/7
 
>Fuck it, no turning back now
>As weird as it was at first, you'd actually always kinda found Berry strangely sexy, for a pony
>The way she always draped a hoof around your shoulders when you drank together
>The way her perfectly round, plump butt swayed as she staggered to the bathroom after too many beers
>The adorable, pretty smile that graced her lips when the two of you chatted over pints
>Bottoms up
...Yes, Berry. I do like you that much. You're a wonderful pony. You deserve better.
>She surges forward again and you half expect another angry outburst
>But before you can put your hands up in defense, she plants her lips onto yours
>In the shock of the moment, all you can think about is how she tastes like cigarettes and whiskey
>You kinda like it
>She moans desperately into your mouth as you feel her tongue slither in between your lips
>You're just buzzed enough at the moment to give in to her assault, letting her push you back a few feet and down onto a bench at the edge of the bar patio
>Wasting no time, Berry climbs onto your lap, her mouth still greedily latched onto yours as she attempts to yank down your pants
>Hooves aren't good with human clothing
>With the correct amount of booze in you to make you not give a shit if anyone sees, you help her out by unzipping them yourself and pulling them down to your calves, letting your already rock-hard dick rub up against her sopping wet pussy
>She pulls away from the kiss only to gasp at your cock coming into contact with her cunt
>"Ah! Anonnnn..." Berry groans, grinding herself against you
5/7
 
>No more build-up, you think
>You take Berry's big, plump ass in both hands and lift her up slightly, positioning her above your dick before squeezing her asscheeks even harder as you pull her down onto you
>Jesus fucking shit, she's tight
>"Mmmm, fffuck, Anon..." She moans loudly, beginning to piston her hips up and down
>She seems so hungry and desperate about it, how long has she wanted to fuck you?
>You don't even care for the reason at this point, you're balls-deep inside a seriously hot, ridiculously tight-pussied mare and you've got two handfuls of perfect horse ass for you to do with as you please
>Berry continues grinding, moaning and gasping to make a pornstar blush, getting steadily more aggressive to the point that she's almost snarling with pent-up lust
>Before long, you feel the pressure building
Berry... I'm gonna-
>"Just do it!" She growls, slamming her ass down onto your crotch even harder
Oh, god...
>"Cum inside me, Anon! Fill me up! Fill this tight pussy with your cum!"
>As she shouts, you feel her insanely tight hole tightening even more
>You know she's about to cum as well
>Welp, nothing for it
>With a loud groan, you dig your fingers hard into your asscheeks as you thrust as hard as you can up into her, shooting your load deep into her insides
>At the same time, her whole body shudders violently and your crotch becomes suddenly soaked with hot mare juice
6/7
 
>You both gasp for air, adrenaline pumping through your bodies
>You just fucked a mare on a bar's smoking patio
>And right now, you really don't care
>You pull Berry's head in for a deep kiss, gently rubbing and squeezing her ass where you dug your fingernails in
>"Anon..." she says, still panting, but looking you in the eye with a little twinkle in her eye and a cute smile, "...Can I be your marefriend?"
>"AWWWWWWWWWW!"
>What the FUCK
>You and Berry whip your heads around in shock
>The entire patronage is watching you from the windows
>A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your brain.
>You don't exactly recall what happened after that
>But you still drink with Berry at the Stumbling Stallion
>And now when you drink, you sit on the same side of the booth as her
>goodend.jpg
7/7