Title:           >you are a fluffy pony named scrambles >you have ash-grey fluff and a pale yell
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/qbLJrZ1L
First Edit:      Wednesday 30th of May 2012 06:29:21 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 30th of May 2012 06:29:21 PM CDT

>you are a fluffy pony named scrambles
>you have ash-grey fluff and a pale yellow mane
>you are a very good fluffy pony
>in fact, you are the best fluffy pony
>today the bright rose above your kingdom because you wanted it to
>today fluffies will wake up and know it is because you allowed it
>you allow them to live in your kingdom because you are smart and kind
>you allow them to live because they bow to you
>that's just what fluffies do
>it's what they were born to do
>not you, though
>you are more than a fluffy
>more than a smarty friend
>a smarty friend to smarty friends
>you are a fluffy pony named scrambles and you were born to rule fluffykind
>today you have awoken as usual
>the bright is rising high over your mighty kingdom
>you stir sluggishly from your warm pillows and look around your lair
>something is wrong
>"god-fwend, da jewwybean hewd has awived."
>a particularly large pony of blue and white fluff stands before you
>"tank yu, pancake."
>"yu wan nummies befow yu see dem?"
>"no."
>"good feews?"
>"...no."
>you finish stretching your legs as pancake dismisses the colts he brought
>"god-fwend, gofbaw foun stwanju fwuffies in cowd bwuff."
>"anyfin ews?"
>"stwabewwy says we no haf woom fow new babehs in smokie caves."
>you snort derisively
>"tell stwabewwy dat zippy's pwobwem. if he no smart fo housies, no weason keep him awoun. find new housie boss."
>"yes, god-fwend."
>the warmth of the day feels good against your fluff
>you and pancake stride out from your burrow and into the hot, heavy air
>your kingdom lies before you in all of its glory
>humans call it a "junkyard"
>two threes of fluffy pony herds call it "home"
>your herd is one of them, but bigger and better than the rest
>it's so big that you have smarty friends who work for you
>you call these fluffies your smarty bosses
>most of them had herds that were added to yours when you conquered them
>but not all
>some smarty friends don't like losing their herds to you
>those smarty friends don't deserve to become bosses
>smarty friends who are not bosses don't live very long in your kingdom
>you climb atop a small step-ladder for a better view of the land
>fluffies go about their business, carrying things in baskets or playing or running around
>it warms your heart
>because you deserve this
>you are the best fluffy pony
>after a few moments you and pancake arrive at the friendly place
>you named it this because it is where new herds become your friends and your become their leader
>all big decisions are made here with other herds
>today, big decisions will be made
>"god-fwend scwambews."
>a thin, orange unicorn with a purple mane stands at the friendly place's edge
>two earth ponies are with him, nervously eying your approach
>"jewwybean. yu haf come hew fo a weason?"
>jellybean nods, turning his head toward the mass of fluffies gathered just outside your territory
>all of them look like they could use some food and hugs
>"my hewd wan wiv wif god-fwend hewd."
>"yu wan wiv hew, fight god-fwend fo kingdom? ...or yu wan join hewd?"
>"we wiv wif god-fwend herd togevew and be fwends?"
>both you and jellybean look at the source of that outburst
>one of the earth ponies beside the smarty friend stands apart
>a young stallion
>orange fluff and green mane
>probably jellybean's foal
>jellybean sadly shakes his head as you take a step toward the little stallion
>"wat yu name?"
>"name is-"
>"his name dandywion. no importen."
>jellybean is now between the two of you, like a wall
>"vewy importen if jewwybean hewd join. need to kno name of aw fwuffies hew..."
>"he yung."
>"he owd enuff."
>jellybean hesistates
>he turns his head to address the stallion
>"dandywion, dis vewy big. god-fwend herd in charge of jewwybean hewd now. no mow jewwybean hewd."
>you nod approvingly
>dandylion looks at his daddy in shock
>"nu! no do dis!"
>jellybean strikes his son across the snout
>"no udda way! hewd need nummies! hewd need protect fwum munstahs! god-fwend haf biggest housies and tastiest nummies and warmest beds!"
>they look at eachother
>jellybean's head falls
>"no udda way..."
>you place one hoof on jellybean's side
>"yu vewy smawt, jewwybean. yu kno what to do fow yu hewd."
>"fank yu, god-fwend."
>you walk away, leaving the father and crying son to address pancake
>new fluffies need to be given herd hugs and taught your ways
>as your helper trots off to give your orders to the bosses, another fluffy approaches you
>you turn to a dark green pegasus with a darker green mane and only one eye
>"i heaw fwom pancake yu haf pwisonews?"
>golfball nods
>"two fwuffies in cowd bwuff. no hewds. wings and erf."
>"show me."
>golfball leads you to two worn, bloodied fluffies in a small clearing
>they sit inside an overturned wheely basket
>"waaaa! weggies huwt! tummies huwt!"
>"nu wan ouchies! wan daddy!"
>daddy?
>DADDY?
>you slam your looky boss to the ground and jab one hoof deep into his side
>he cries out in suprise as he topples over
>"why yu waste my time wif twash!?"
>"...dun kno. fowgot."
>"den yu 'fowgot' nummies today."
>you release golfball and storm off
>daddy
>human-raised fluffies make you angry
>you hate them so much
>so much
>you hate them almost as much as humans
>if a fluffy once lived with a human, you don't mind as much
>abandoned fluffies join herds all the time
>but these fluffies don't understand not having humans
>they'll demand food be brought to them
>they'll make poopies where they aren't supposed to
>they'll cry and scream when it rains
>they are weak
>you hear golfball talking to oatmeal and raisin as you walk away
>he tells them to sink the strangers in the black pond
>he says the herd already has enough fluffies for tucker's next game
>he's right
>you do
>jellybean's herd seems to be shuffling around with pancake and three other bosses near the bridge
>there's a lot of shouting going on
>a lot of crying
>looks like a fight is brewing
>"somefin wong?"
>one of the mares from the new herd runs to you in tears
>"god-fwend! god-fwend! bad meanie fwuffies say we-"
>the largest fluffy you've ever seen plows her over with his huge bulk
>dumptruck isn't very bright, even by fluffy standards
>dumptruck is roughly the size of three regular fluffies
>he pins the squealing mare beneath his belly as kneel down to face her
>"dey say fings bout mawes?"
>she nods
>"dey say yu onwy tawk if we say yu tawk? dey say yu stay inside pens?"
>"dey say dat!"
>you motion to dumptruck to release her
>she sniffles pitifully as you place one hoof on her head
>"dat caus mawes aw nawty pwace howes... onwy good fow poopn' babehs."
>you slam the mare's head against the hard ground
>it cracks open
>the herd erupts
>the bosses lead fluffies with owie sticks and drive jellybean's herd together
>"yu now bewong to god-fwend's hewd, now. fwuffies who no fowwow god-fwend wiw be be stomped on."
>that's not true
>most will go to the game
>as you spit on the mare's bleeding body, pancake conducts the bosses
>together they guide the herd into the pens
>boy fluffies will either fight for the bosses or work for the herd
>girl fluffies will take special huggies and give babies
>it's the law because you said so
>and you're never wrong
>you were born to rule fluffykind