Title: >Oh dear Nerull your head >Where have you been to garner this headache? >Matte Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/BfndNh6q First Edit: Sunday 6th of January 2013 06:13:42 PM CDT Last Edit: Sunday 6th of January 2013 06:13:42 PM CDT >Oh dear Nerull your head >Where have you been to garner this headache? >Matter of fact, why can't you remember anything past puppeting discord into position? >You try to look down, but you're frozen. >You can't move anything. >You can see though, and Ponyville looks normal again >Well, only one way to find out what went wrong. >Astral projection, Activate! >... uhm, this is when you jump out of your body, damn it. >Hello? Magic, are you going to do shit? >Well, fuck. >Your rage is building. >Discord was turned to stone. >You're now paralyzed >It would seem that you didn't yank control of discord in time, and the blast ran right into you as well. >But doesn't the blast only affe- >Oh right, you're a moralless, self-serving, heartless Lich who's murdered millions for no reason other than to stave off boredom. >Quantified evil. Acceptable target. Fire at will. >Well, you've never been stone before. This'll be a new experience. Hey, maybe you'll even enjoy it! >... yeah fuck that >You take stock of what you can do. Your last stance was one of holding your hands out, controlling the strings. >Now you're a diabolical statue. >Fuckthatnoise. >You've got no choice but to wait until you can gain control over your fascili- >No, seriously, the fuck's that noise? >There's a crash, and you realize it's something slamming into you. That had better not be Fluttershy. >What is that silly bitch up to now? Going to rape your rock-hard boner? >It's funny because- >No, serious. Focus. How to escape. >You beat Nerull at his own game. You can beat the Elements too. They defeated you once, you should know what to do. >Wait... >Last time, the power of friendship banished you from your plane. >Now, you're incased in rock. >And rocks cast shadows. >It's a good thing you have nothing better to do, you'll have to wait till night now. >Night falls soon enough. >Most ponies look at you oddly, but otherwise ignore you. >You're going to enjoy ripping the life from their corpses once you're free. >Asshole pones. Not a shred of dignity for the Undead. >You're pretty sure that Derpy even sent you facefirst into the ground. >"Hey, where's anon?" >"I'm not sure. Haven't seen him all day." >Oh you blind fools. Don't make me come over there and kick your ass. >"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him all week." >When was the last time he was in town?" >Right fucking now you idiot horses. >"Huh, what's with the statue there?" >Thank Melliflier, you're gonna get out of here. >"Dunno, I bet Anon commisioned it." >Oh fuck you dude. >Four hours later, sun is finally setting. >You can feel your shadow beginning to gain enough control to examine your surroundings, but you don't need to. >"Hey Twilight, I'm headed over to Anon's tower. Gonna check on him, make sure he's all right." >Rainbro, I am going to bake you a cake for this. >Well.. Discover a spell to create cake, I guess. >"Sure thing! Just let me finalize this letter to Celestia." >"No, hurry up! I'm worried, that knight may have gotten to him or something!" >Aw shit. >You forgot about your Black knight sleeping in your basement. >Shit, plans in possible collapse. Initiate panic mode. >"You're just working yourself up, Dash. He could totally handle keeping that brute away." >Yes, talk some sense into her. >Sun's nearly set >C'mon Luna, you were my favorite princess anyways! >"But, but... What if he was caughht by surprise! You know, like the time he lost his arm to that ball?" >Oh Nerull, you're never going to live that down, will you? >"Fine, let's go." >Damn it Twilight! I thought you were on our side! >The sun's nearly set. In but a few moments... >Your shadow lurches. There's no light to stave it off now, and it swallows the statue whole. >It was so useful knowing how to shadow-dance. >With a wretchi sound, your soul slips into the darkness, vacating your prison. >Now, you have the problem of rebuilding your body in time to get Twilight and Dash to go away. >If only there was some undead already animate to possess... >If only someone was already undead. >... Oh, right. >Fluttershy's got some sickness that makes her look undead. And you've been inside her enough you doubt she'll mind. >You've been battering down Fluttershy's will for the past three minuets. >Damn this bitch got some balls on her. >Soft-spoken, kind fluttershy won't even let a little old spirit of darkness in. >How Celestia's-Banana's-Damned rude. >Really, I'm hurt. >I thought she was into this sort of thing. >"Please mister ghosty spirit sir, just go away!" >Nerull that insufferable whining. >She's been trying to stuff you inside her for the last year or two, the cooky broad. >This irony is hardly lost on you. >"Please mister ghosty sir, if I can interject-" >NO! I NEED YOUR BODY FLUTTERSHY! >"But I'm sure Twilight could help you. Or maybe Anon, he's real smart." >Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. I'll go ask myself for help in stopping Dash & Co. from uncovering my skeletons in the closet. >Finally, something breaks. Her will buckles for a moment, and you're in. "Terribly sorry about this, Fluttershy." >It's her voice speaking, but it carries your learned accent. "I really need your help, and you're the only one that can do anything to help me." >FlutterAnon runs from the hut, your puppeteered thrall galloping at full speed. You're at a fraction of your power, damned statue must have captured the majority of it. >As such, it's no surprise when she speaks aloud. >"Anon? What are you doing to me? What's going on?" >She lets out a frightened "Meep". You'd be more compasionate if she didn't rape you. "You've developed a condition, due to the surge of negative energy from intercorse with myself and your own spring of possitive energy. Simply put, you're part undead, atleast for a short span after you force yourself upon me..." >She shuts up. >You hope this means the end of the rape attempts. >In no time, you're at your tower. You keep from entering it, that would be susspicious. >"Hey Fluttershy!" >Nick of time. We scored. >"Oh, hello Dash. Hello Twilight." >This would be tricky. You can't take control, or else you'll give away that something's off. You got her here, she'll stall them. >She visable shudders as you leave, slinking into your tower as a shadow under the moonlight, getting Twilights attention, which she casually passes off as just being your creepy house. >Meanwhile.... >You got a knight to off. >The knight's armor hasn't changed. Little rusted, but still looks the same. >How in the Nine Hells are you gonna dispose of him unseen...? >More important question, why are they inside so soon? >Godomot fluttershy! >Time, need more time to think... >You direct your minion up the stair-case and hide him in a dresser, just as the Ponies come up into the room. >Fluttershy looks nervous, Rainbow is scanning around, Twilight seems disgusted. >"What is that smell? It smells like someone left a bunch of cabages to rot in the sun." >Whoops. Sorry. That'd be me, and my walking cadaver. Don't mind us. >Rainbow floats around the room, looking about. Fluttershy shuffles her feet. >"Uhm, I don't think Anon would appreciate if we were in here. He's a very private... Thing." >Fluttershy speaks truth. Listen to her. >"Naah, it's not like he's hiding any skeletons in his closet." >Too true. They're in my Dresser. >"Dash is right. Anon is a good guy, he wouldn't have anything to hide." >Shit, magic aura on the dresser's knobs. >"OH >"MAH >"WINGS!" >Twilight whirls around, looking at Dash. Dash is staring in abject horror at your desk, wings rigid. >What did she see?! Was it the Geneticide spell? The Nill Cube schematics? Or was it- >"Anon has two tickets to the wonderbolts show!" >Okay. You seriously need to get better at reading Ponies. >"He musta been saving them for his best bro, Rainbow Dash!" >The Ponies chuckle, and shuffle out, none the wiser. >You promptly have your knight jump out the window and run away to the Everfree to rot. That was more trouble than it was worth. >A week later, you crawl out of your bed with a new body. >This is the last time you hold something still for the Elements. >Decide to pay a visit to the town, and ease any fears about your status. >Half way to town, you feel it again; a rustling in your jimmies. >To your surprise, it's fluttershy. "Fluttershy, what are you-" >Oh dear lord no, she's got that look in her eye. >Abandon ship! >"I didn't know you liked it rough, Anon." >That sultry voice does not work with her demeanor "I needed to get you to the tower. Nothing more." >She's unconvinced. "Fluttershy, I was not doing that as a sign of affection!" >She blinks slowly, a wide smile on her face >"As long as it was as good for you as it was for me." >Singing slightly, she leaves you to stew in your horror. >Oh dear Nerull, what unholy monstrosity have you created?