Title:           >Be me >Working at Goodwill warehouse, sorting through electronics >Find a My
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/cq14YeN8
First Edit:      Saturday 1st of February 2014 05:31:27 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 1st of February 2014 05:31:27 PM CDT

>Be me
>Working at Goodwill warehouse, sorting through electronics
>Find a My Little Pony tv game
>motherofgod.png
>From the looks of the logo, it was clearly G3, sadly
>But pone nonetheless
>Absentmindedly notice the CEO giving a tour to some potential clients
>Pay it no mind
>Back to the matter at hand, had to do the right thing and test the machine
>Walk over and pull a bigass Vizio in a nearby cart
>Wait, i need to hide myself
>Look around, find some boxes
>Perfect, i'll hide behind those, like that one guy in Mass Effect 1
>HE WAS NEVER FOUND
>Run wire from tv to wall outlet
>Randomly notice a breastpump machine
>I could get freaky with this
>Plug it in, and take it back with me
>Plug in the Pone game, looking out for anyone that might spot me
>nobody notices
>gud
>Activate game
>That familiar theme tune from the past times rings through
>I sit in awe at what is one of the golden relics of the past
>I notice my dong reaching a larger, solid state
>bueno
>I rip off my pants
>I can't help myself, i lift my ass up and position the game controller stick under my ass
>I lower myself, letting the joystick pierce my virgin anus
>There is massive pain, but luckily, i am a masochist
>My eyes dart to the breastpump
>I put the suction cups on my hairy balls, and flip on the machine
>I feel the suction cups going at my testicles
>I look back at the screen, revelling in the sensations
>I hit the start button
>Ponies everywhere
>They may be G3 but I didn't care
>I fap with the force of a thousand white hot suns, whilst riding the joystick
>Oh Celestia, I can feel myself getting close...!
>*ahem*
>Look behind me
>It's the CEO and the other suits
>Critical Mission Failure
>GAME OVER
>You defeated
>youcouldhavestoppedthis.png
>This court finds the defendant GUILTY
>two hundred metric tons of spaghetti fly everywhere
>the suits don't flinch
>all they see is a scrawny tall white guy with no pants, a My Little pony game in his ass, and breastpumps on his balls
>covered in Italian pasta
>all is lost
>"um..." i manage to squeak out
>The CEO asks, "Is everything alright?"
>trembling i respond with "y-yes, sir..."
>He smiles
>"Great!" he said, "As you can see, we also test our donated goods to ensure..."
>i beg ur pardon sir
>THEY DONT EVEN CARE
>WHAT THE-
>*clack*
>whatwasthat
>I notice my phone fell out of my jacket pocket
>It lit up
>Picture of Milky Way as a background
>no
>CEO turns red
>He transforms into a 5 story-tall demon covered in pink slips
>He reaches into his ass and pulls out a wooden mallet with "B&" engraved on the side
>it's all ogre
>"NO PLS I'M SO-"
>too late
>He brought it down and fired me right there
>He fired me so hard i get catapulted into another dimension
>Now trapped in alternate reality where am perma-gravelorded in Oolicile dungeon
>Naked
>with a My Little Pony tv game in my ass and breastpumps on my balls