Title: Two Quick Request Thread Bumper One-Shots Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/6ejzJwpb First Edit: Saturday 31st of August 2013 06:46:57 PM CDT Last Edit: Saturday 31st of August 2013 06:46:57 PM CDT Just a few on the spot, in-thread bumper requests or something.   First one:   "Ponies find Anon strangely enticing. Sexually. Anon wants nothing to do with them.   One day, Anon finds a porn mag made by the ponies with drawings of him in there. I leave the rest to you."   >day [spoiler]pornography[/spoiler] [spoiler] [/spoiler]>in Equestria >you're walking along when you stumble on a "playpony" magazine >ugh >you were not attracted to ponies, regardless of how many times they'd try to get in your pants >it was something about how you looked to them, they just couldn't stay away >you kick the damn thing away >your foot misses a little and just opens up the rag to... >oh god why >it's YOU >poorly photoshopped together from various pictures >HOLY SHIT >YOUR COCK WAS HUUUUUGE IN THIS PICTURE >you smile >this was perfect! >you drop trou and let your little guy breathe >you spend the rest of the day running around, butt naked, yelling "SEE, THERE'S NOTHING THERE!" >you are left alone from there on in   Today was the first day you enjoyed having a small penis   Second:   "Try the Anon that randomly falls asleep that everyone seems to want."   >day [spoiler]narcolepsy[/spoiler] [spoiler] [/spoiler]>in Equestria >you are Anon >you've been here for a while and apart from your narcoleptic episodes, everything is pretty peachy >you're on your way to Applejacks for another apple pie >fuck sugarcube corner, apples were soooo gooood here >you spot the kicking horse in the distan- >you are now floating on a huge apple pie >how did you get here? >what were you doing before then? >nobody knows >all you know is that you're floating on this apple pie and it smells DELICIOUS >you swim through the air, downwards, towards the pie >your eyes close in ecstasy as you reach to grab one of the soft, candied, syrupy apple chunks, planting your mouth against it >OH SHIT IT MOVED >you open your eyes and recoil >THIS ISN'T PIE >a confused and very flustered Luna stares back at you "An-A-Anon? We... We never knew how you felt about us," >Why was Luna poking her head out of a giant pie >how did an apple chunk turn into Luna >WHY DID YOUR PIE DECEIVE YOU >you couldn't shake the feeling her lips from your mind "Luna?" >you can't say much more as her front hooves erupt from the pie and wrap around your neck "Oh Anon!" >she kisses you back as you flail helplessly, suspended about the giant pie >your flailing stops almost immediately >your arms go limp, your eyes close once more >Luna had been with you more than anypony else >whenever you dropped, she'd come into your dream and keep you company >she'd help you in scary dreams and enjoy the good ones with you >and now your lips were against hers >you were making out with a dark purple horse and it didn't bother you >you'd had weirder dreams before, this was oddly realistic >returning the embrace, you kiss her fiercely as your fingers run through her mane >it was like a strange rubber than flowed between your fingers while remaining solid >you bring a hand to her cheek, cupping it gently >breaking the kiss, you open your eyes to stare into hers "Luna, I wanted to thank you for being there for me. Every time my affliction hits me, you make it feel like a blessing," >she smiles, tilting her head to gently rub into your palm "Anonymous, we have always l- "WHAT IN EQUESTRIA'S NAME?" >Luna walks in from the side "THOU HATH PIE OF APPLES AND THOU DIGGETH IN BEFORE WE HATH ARRIVED? HOW UNCOUTH!" >you're holding a huge chunk of apple once more "Here, I saved you some," you reply >you hand her the chunk, sinking back down onto the crust "IT IS DELICIOUS, GOOD SIR ANON, WE THANKETH THEE," >you wake up soon after and walk back home >there was an apple pie beside you and you ate it before you got to your place >you'll give Applejack some bits tomorrow and her blanket back, she was kind enough to cover you up when you fell asleep >even if your stomach was full, your heart was not   Today was a heavy day.