Title:           Saturday March 24th 7:00 pm EST bitches
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/vscrMKNZ
First Edit:      Monday 19th of March 2012 05:40:52 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 19th of March 2012 05:40:52 AM CDT

(Copied from another pastebin file with an updated, working link.)
 
How to fuck up 9gag
 
OK, bitches. I see that most of our fighters are absolute retards and are using LOIC, HOIC, and misconfigured Slowloris, which are all ineffective because they're using DNS servers along with a changing IP on their URL. We need attack correctly and systematically if 9gag is to go down.
 
Step 1: STOP USING LOIC AND IT'S DERIATIVES! THEY ARE COMPLETELY INNEFFECTIVE!
LOIC and it's deriatives hammer a webserver on port 80. 9gag doesn't even listen on port 80. It won't work unless you specifically target their DNS server on port 53.
 
Step 2: Start using Slowloris and it's deriatives.
 
Slowloris is a guaranteed win. It is designed to attack webservers and it uses very little bandwidth. We can keep up an attack for as long as we want.
 
Here's what to get and how to work em'.
 
QSlowloris: http://www.4shared.com/zip/vR6zbWH9/slowloris-win.html
IF YOU ARE USING WINDOWS YOU WILL NEED TO USE THIS!
Basic operation:
1.) Take how many cores your computer has and multiply it by two. That number is what you set the threads to.
2.) Leave the sockets as-is.
3.) Set the target URL to one of the DNS servers, which will be listed at the bottom.
4.) BE SURE TO SET THE TARGET PORT TO 53, OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT WORK!
5.) Leave timeout the way it is.
6.) NOTHING WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU HIT FIRE! THIS IS NORMAL!
7.) Wanna' see if it's working? Bring up task manager and look for QSlowloris under processes. Memory usage should go up every time you hit "Fire". Don't hit it too many times as it will crash the program.
 
Vanilla Slowloris: ha.ckers.org/slowloris/
IF YOU HAVE LINUX, I RECOMMEND YOU USE THIS VERSION!
YOU MAY NEED SOME TECHNICAL KNOW HOW TO USE THIS VERSION!
Basic operation:
1.) Install all of the modules that are stated as needed AND recommended. Many of them will already be installed.
2.) Save the script. Just copy everything into a blank file and save it as slowloris.py
2.5.) Put it in your home directory to save time.
3.) Start it up like this:
 
sudo perl slowloris.pl -dns "insert DNS server you want to target here" -port 53 -timeout 100 -num 300 -tcpto5
 
4.) Let it run. You can and will see it working.
 
Advanced options:
 
To be even more efficient, you can actually increase the amount of sockets Slowloris whores. To do this, change the -num param to something insanely fucking high, like one million, and start it. Then, copy all of the "building sockets" into gedit and see how many lines there are. This is you new -num param.
 
PyLoris for Windows: https://github.com/Anonymous-Dev/Pyloris
AVOID THIS VERSION AT ALL COSTS UNLESS YOU ALREADY HAVE ALL OF THE PREREQUISITES INSTALLED!
THE AMOUNT OF WORK ISN'T WORTH THE ADDED FEATURES!
 
Here are the DNS servers. Go at the .com one first, as that's what most people will be using.
Move on to the others after the .com is down.
 
ns-1294.awsdns-33.org
ns-629.awsdns-14.net
ns-408.awsdns-51.com
ns-1673.awsdns-17.co.uk