Title: Response #2 Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/FQe5cJnb First Edit: Wednesday 5th of November 2014 09:31:22 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 5th of November 2014 09:31:22 PM CDT >Clever Names Almost all of the pegasi names I used were related to weather, something that I had a lot of fun with. As I wrote this monolith, I discovered that pegasi are probably my favorite POV to write for besides griffons.   >Dialogue Ey, I'm glad you think it's good. I don't really have a particular process I go through for writing it, but it does take me a while to sit there and think it up.   >/   |   \ Used these lines for Cookie's scenes and <   v   > for Flurry's   >Namecalling I stared at my monitor for way to damn long trying to come up with these. Skyslut was probably my favorite.   >Your OH FAK, did I really do that?! The shame. Shit.   >Strike One Kralle pls.   >Gun porn I kinda spoiled myself with that right there. EqD = Equestrian Dynamics. And yes, M134   >Hallway I was wondering what people would try to guess for this. Hellhound and Dragon were pretty close.   >Cute little pegasus mares She's smaller than him, but Ranger armor is a bit bulkier, so not too much smaller. Their physical appearances were almost entirely based off of a post in the thread in which someone said to write something for prompt 65 about an "Athletic enclave mare and a chubby steal ranger." Cookie has a typical build for an earth pony, but as his name implies, he's a little soft. Not a lardass, but not exactly thin. Husky? Flurry's smaller but also much more physically fit.   >Muh Heart You want to give her a hug, don't you? Good   >Bottle I was going for something spooky. Simple, but spooky. I hope it wasn't too lame.   >Holotape Yeah, it's a little tough to read now that I look at it again. All of it is italicized, though.   >Clinic Gore In a sick way, the gore was quite fun to describe. What works for me is simply imagining what actually happened to create the gore, rather than just saying that there was blood and guts everywhere.   >Muh Waifu I don't know why, but I'm proud of this.   >Griffons. Wat. The confusion is expected. Dragonfire power armor was the result of me spending way too much time thinking about stuff. It's basically some wretched FoE version of Hellfire armor. Griffons have a rather predator-like shape, dragons breath fire and seem to be immune to it, so I kinda just pulled it together. I gave it a purpose (close quarters combat inside of raptors) and attempted to explain how it worked. Part of the reason I wrote this was to see the reaction to the armor, mostly to see if it was too damn obnoxious.   >Bitch better not steal my waifu Cookie isn't really all that into her until the end. Flurry, however... she gets a little silly.   >ENCLAVE OR STEEL RANGERS This post was only to decide which faction would find them at the end. If the Rangers were chosen, then you probably would've seen some Backblast   >1454 Random numbers. No deep things here.   >I don't like these catbutts They're dicks, aren't they? Herrick is calm and cool in combat, but he's also a little overconfident. Nora... well... http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PsychoForHire   >Empathize Yay, I achieved another goal!   >It's good Thanks!   >Character interaction I really stress about this sometimes. It was one of my main focuses in this huge ass story, so it's a relief to hear I did it sorta alright.   >Shitfaced You're close. I was a bit drunk when I typed the storytelling scene. When I reread it while sober, well, a lot of corrections were made. Funny part to me was that Flurry's story actually happened to a friend of mine. He finished basic a few weeks ago, told me about it, and I slipped it into the story because I didn't have any better ideas at the time.   >Armor I wanted something evil looking that hopefully wasn't too edgy and PH-y. Bad guys always get to dress the coolest. Dragonfire armor = very fast and overpowered Hellfire armor that has some shitty, built-in stealth tech. In the story, the two griffons are testing it, which is why they aren't using any weapons other than the armor's claws and flamethrower.     >Names I'm sorta getting better at coming up with griffon names. I can happily say that I didn't rip Nora's off from anywhere. Herrick's name is actually from The Crucible, not because I wanted it to be meaningful, but because I liked the name and it sounded griffon-y.   >The Eyes Herrick is standing in the entrance of the stable, staring up at the vertibuck as it left. He's pretty pissed off too.   >Concerns I share these concerns. If I didn't make it clear enough already, people saying that my work is making them want to give up writing makes me feel like shit. No, like, really bad. I'm not trying to compete with anybody, I just tend to overdo things because I get way to into it. Sorry guys.   >What's coming up next? Something SHORTER. I might roll for a prompt, or maybe take suggestions as to which one people would like to see me write. If I let myself choose a prompt, there's a chance that too many ideas will get moving again and then I'll make something huge. I'd like to avoid that for a bit. Also, moar fic planning. Someday.