Title:           I need to get out of here" >be foot note, I haven't been alive long. >it was o
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/5AURgSGV
First Edit:      Wednesday 2nd of July 2014 05:24:02 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 2nd of July 2014 05:24:02 PM CDT

I need to get out of here"
>be foot note, I haven't been alive long.
>it was only few weeks ago that I was stitched together
>and I've known my owner for only a few days. He's nice enough many plushies have it much worse.
>then he takes me to this "trotcon" and i cant stand it.
>The number of people touching me without permission is bad enough but the strong smell of... a pasta of some kind?
>is removing my last bit of sanity
>RO sets me down and i decide to take a chance as he leaves the room throwing myself into the door it slams on me
ooomff
>That hurt a lot, but i succeed on blocking the door and ensuring my freedom
>squeezing out of the door i make my way down the hallway avoiding maids and sperglords.
I sure hope this was a good idea.
 
>at the stairwell and lookin good
>There is one huge problem. the con is in this hotel.
>one thousand sweaty 200 pound bowls of Italian cuisine stand in-between me and the glorious outside world.
>a thought hits me.
>i dash down the stairs meeting little resistance.
>as i reach the door i see my salvation
>a trashcan the perfect escape vehicle for the pony in need.
>crossing the hallway to my safe haven is going to be a problem
>suddenly a man in an orange Hawaiian shirt walks by with an army of animated noodles following closely by.
>This is the perfect distraction as i bolt across the room and reach my holy sanctum.
shit
>There is absolutely no way i could reach the lid to climb inside.
>i spy a nearby (some stupid reference to pasta) mowing down a whole bucket of chicken
>he finishes in seconds setting the bucket down
>I hop inside and wait for salvation.
>"what's this free food just laying around" i hear the fat jowls of a con goer slap together in the intecpation of discarded chicken
>"score chicken gristle and a new girlfriend" Oh god he's referring to me.
 
>he flees the con with his new found trophy (me)
>i start regretting my decision to leave. RO was cool and the con only had a few more days.
>now im destined to be this hulking masses new marinara holder
>he takes me back to his evil lair. (a dumpster behind the convention)
>"now that we have some alone time lets consummate are new found love" he dribbles out of that fat folds i assume is his mouth
I dont think so buddy. i dont need no man *snapping your hooves*
>"oh my sweet celestia a real live pony" i audibly hear his pants tighten
>bewildered and aroused he is off guard. time to test my pony plushy power
>i sock him in the jaw as hard as i can.
>with sheer force of will my cloth filled hoof sends his glass jaw to visit the stars.
>jumping from the bucket i hit the ground running and enjoy the sweet smell of freedom for the first time in my short life
>I may have considered it earlier but now that im free there's no way i can go back to RO now.
> i take three steps out of the alley and suddenly im surrounded by rainbows
>a sonic rainbooM? no its another mass of bodies but this one smelling of perfume and lube.
>ten seconds of freedom and im smack dap in the middle of a pride parade.
>to distracted by the thrill of offending conservatives and penetrating the nearest anus the parade goers ignore me.
 
>amazingly my luck continues and the valiant Sodom crusaders provide perfect cover
>then i hear it..
a low rumble to a deafening shrill reaching level not thought possible under Einsteineyen physics.
>"there a real live pony plush loose on the streets of Columbus" shouts a voice in the crowd
>more round objects join the crowd the noise now converting into pure energy blinding the poor butt pillagers.
>My eyes thankfully being made of fabric protects me from the pure autismic singularity forming.
I got to split before i get split by the throbbing erections of the horde of enraged fan boys
>"i havent seen a riot like this since they cancelled firefly" says a voice to my left
>i see a dashing specimen of humanity, handsome and perfect in everyway.
totally not a hopeless loser that would insert himself into a greentext to distract himself from his hopeless life
>"you seem to be the creature that is the focus of thier reality warping mating call"
I didnt do anything to cause this is i just want to be free
>"Come with me if you want to live" he says in an Austrian accent.
>hes handsome and has an encyclopedic knowledge of movie references how dreamy.
>I leap into his arms as he covers me with his coat hops on the nearest Fetishist dressed as a stallion and gallops away
>behind us the cars and buildings start being pulled towards the convention. disappearing into the thick mass of sweat and social anxiety.
 
 
>being the only object not dissolving into their mass the brony horde easily spots me
>They start moving forward at a speed that shouldn't be possible for ones so out of shape. easily 4 or 5 mph
>my new rescuer kicks his leather clad stead into a full gallop.
>we barely keep ahead of the rolling and crashing wave of sexually frustrated manchildren.
>this exertion of exercise is so foreign to thier bodies that they start violently barfing and shitting themselves
>the puke lubricating the path and the projectile diarrhea accelerating them
>They will easily catch you with their newly discovered form of locomotion.
I think we need more speed you shout to your gorgeous compatriot.
>"dont worry i have a plan" he shouts with buttery voice of a thousand angels.
>suddenly he makes a sharp right into an alley. We emerge out the other side to see a shopping center
>he heads directly for the toys r us. What could he possible be thinking.
>he burst the through the front door launches himself from our tired steed and rolls to a stop.
>i clutch on to his impressively massive shoulders for my dear life.
>He sprints down the girl toy isle reaching the plushies. "trust me"
>im clutched by his strong yet delicate fingers and placed behind the littlest pet shop plushies.
>he grabs a rainbow dash plushie put its over his shoulder and runs for the back exit.
I never even learned his name.
>i weep for his loss and ponder on what to do next.