Title: Blue Changelings, The Great Tickle War Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/MDLjvSzF First Edit: Monday 29th of August 2016 11:38:45 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 29th of August 2016 11:38:45 PM CDT Blue Changelings, The Great Tickle War >Music plays: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW2cc1Z6tZs >"Alright you buncha hatchlings, FORM UP!" Commander Daddy shouts. >You and the other changelings of your battle group, all of them odd numbers, form up in columns. >Warrior bugs in front, followed by drones, then honeybugs, and caretakers in back. >You nervously take your spot in the ranks, trembling a bit at the awe-inspiring sight of Daddy in full combat gear. >Everyone's been awaiting this day... >You knew it would come. >The other buggies, the older ones who've lived near a decade with daddy, told you he would transform like this. >From eternal caregiver to taskmaster in an instance. >You feel a frozen shiver crawl it's way up your shell. >Soon everyone is in formation, and Supreme Commander Daddy begins to slowly walk in front of the column. >Inspecting uniforms, speaking with officer bugs... >Rubbing smudges off of your cheeks in front of everybuggy STOPITDADDYYOUREMBARRASSINGME~~~~! >Finally, he comes to a stand still. >The assembled bugs are hushed. >"Changelings..." he begins, eyes towards the ground. "Are no strangers to struggle." >You hear the bug next to you gulp audibly. >"P-please Daddy, don't make us go out there...!" you hear her murmur. >She's as afraid as you are. >"Before there was the hive, there was struggle..." Commander Daddy continues, as he begins to pace through the ranks. >"Everybuggy was forced to go out into a hostile world..." he stops, clenching his grabber into a fist. "to do what was BEST for their leader." >He turns around suddenly, making a dramatic, sweeping gesture. "Are you willing to struggle for your leader?!" he shouts. >"YESSIR, DADDY SIR!" Everyone chants in unison. >Except for you, anyways. >His gaze meets yours, just for a moment, and you hide your face in shame. >"SOME OF YOU--" you hear him begin walking towards you. >Peeking up for a moment, you can see his eyes boring a hole through your shell. >"ARE NOT AS COMMITTED AS OTHERS!" He shouts, lording his tall, imposing body over your own. >Though the buggies standing around you do not move, you can feel all eyes on you. >"But ALL have a reason to struggle!" Commander Daddy gets down on one knee. >Even then, his eyes still rest at a level higher than your own. >"So I ask you, 2286, WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" >Oh buck... "I...I wanna...I-I---" you sputter. >"WHY ARE YOU HERE SOLDIER?!?" He shouts, spittle flying every which way. "I'M HERE BECAUSE MOMMY IS A SORE WINNER~!" You wail, covering your face with your hooves in terror. >"DAMN RIGHT!" He shouts, standing tall, raising a fist into the air. >The other bugs around you begin to cheer as Daddy makes his way to the front ranks. >"Every year, on my birthday, bugwife asks me, 'Honey, do you want to do something special for your birthday?'" >"And every year, I say 'let's play a family game of tickle war!'" Daddy continues, as the chatter amongst the ranks gets louder. >You can see Daddy shaking his head as he raises his fist again. >"And every FUCKING YEAR--!" He slams his fist down hard on the table, the sound resounding through the assembly hall. >There's utter silence amongst the ranks now. >"...your mother totally smokes our asses." >Many of the older buggies bow their heads in remorse. >Pointing towards the far wall, you can see a lone, solitary decoration. >A chalkboard. >Inscriped upon its face are many, many tallies. >All of them on MOMMY'S side. >Daddy's side of the board, however, is completely barren. >A grim reminder of Team D's countless defeats. >Daddy takes a several deep breathes, gripping the war table tight to steady himself. >"But not this year." He says. Sincerely, authoritatively... >Strongly. >"THIS is the year, where we correct the course of the family game nights!" he says, shaking his fist in the air. >The ranks begin to cheer, chanting Daddy's name as the hall begins to echo. >"THIS IS the year, where Team D actually wins for once!" >You can feel your heart swelling with pride. >"THIS IS THE YEAR, where we get to RUB OUT VICTORY INTO MOMMY'S FACE!" >"Buggies of Team D, go forth! AND BRING BACK THE HOPE OF THE HIVE!" >The halls roars with enthusiasm as Team D, YOUR team, begins making preparations... >For war. >TICKLE WAR! -------- ------- >All is quiet during the ceremonial coin toss. >On the other side of the dividing line stands Mommy, in her long coat and "Commisar's Hat," surrounded by her finest honor guards. >Each of whom is armed with only the softest, comfiest of pillows. >You've got your extra-special blanket tied around your neck. >Daddy held you above your head and made superhero noises during the walk across the battlefield. >Feels good, yo. >Majestic. >Made you feel like Supermare and everything! >But this wasn't the time for make believe. >"Lookin' good, babe. Nice uniform." Mommy says, smirking arrogantly as she hovers a war-pillow up towards her cheek. >"Gonna look even better on the floor tonight when you're done getting FUCKED." >"Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!" All her changelings mock in unison. >Daddy, for his part, maintains his grim facade. >Betraying nothing. >A neutral buggy comes between the two of them, this year's chosen referee. >"Alright you two, shake appendages! I want a good, clean, and safe game of tickle war!" she says, all the while giving Mommy the stink eye. >Mommy lazily offers her hoof, which Daddy proceeds to shake firmly. >"But of course!" she starts, not arrogantly avoiding eye contact with Daddy. "After all, winning isn't important, is it dearest~?" >Daddy says nothing. He breaks the handshake, as both sides move to their respective ends of the Great Hall. >Looking around, it seems as if the entire hive is either taking part, or spectating. >Are...are those bleechers? Is that COTTON CANDY? >You want some... >Mommy does likewise, as the referee, sweat trailing down her shell, nervously raises a flag. >"T-three, two, o-one...!" >She looks like she's about to spew honey everywhere. >Daddy, for his part, looks as stonefaced as ever. >"TICKLE WAR~~!" She screams, dropping the flag as she bolts for the out-of-bounds zone. >Immediately, it begins. >Daddy silently raises his right hand, then, striking a fantasticly awesome pose, points his finger at the opposing team. >Your assault begins with a ranged barrage, just as you all practiced. >Hundreds of throw pillows are launched towards the enemy lines, as a roar from your lines heralds the beginning of the game. >The sheer might, the awesome display of comfiness leaves you breathless for a moment. >However, Mommy had prepared for this. >Her front rank raises a shield of quilts and blankeys, deflecting much of your initial assault. >On the other side, you can see Mommy's smug face, her tongue stuck out at Daddy in defiance. >This causes him to bristle, fis facade of control breaking. >"2286, give the command." he says. >You knod solemnly. >You turn towards the buggy next to you. "886, give the command." >"GET EM!" She shouts. >And all heck breaks loose. >A screen of pillows and stuffed animals covers their advance. >Several dozen of Mommy's front line are overcome by sleepiness, and lie down to take naps. >Such is the horror of tickle war. >Soon the air is filled with the sounds of pillow-battle, as an all out floof-brawl breaks out in the center lines. >Changeling against changeling, many of them broodmates, pitted against one another in am epic struggle to not-have-to-hear-the-other-team-brag-for-the-rest-of-the-FUCKING-year. >Though your vanguard fight bravely, the line begins to waver. >Buggies are getting sleepy. >"886, committ the first column of reserves to the left flank. 2286..." Daddy looks down at you, your eyes meeting. >"Call in the airstrike." >"Yessir Commander Daddy!" You say, giving him a salute. "Lemme call them on the hivemi--" >Daddy cuts you off right there. >"Baby, please, PLEASE just do the thing." He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Just...okay? It'll make Daddy super happy." >You shrug, and proceed to grab the tin-can tied to a string before you. "*CRRR!* Strike Force One, this is Motherbase. You are cleared for takeoff!" >Daddy groans, his shoulders slumping as he facepalms. "Do it right, please." >You roll your eyes. "...over. *CRRR!*" >You give Daddy a look. "What's the point of making the sound agai--" >"*CRRR!* Motherbase, this is Strike Force One! Carpet bombing is a go! *CRRR!*" Your "radio" responds. >A wing of flyers soon buzzes overhead, flying in perfect formation as they carry their shared payload towards the enemy ranks. >A single, massive, cotton sheet. >For the first time today, Daddy cracks a grin as he places his hands on triumphantly on his hip. He takes inhales deeply. >"I love the smell of COTTON in the morning!" "It's 8 at night!" Your subordinate pipes in. >"OH MY GOD 886, lemme have my fun, please!" Daddy retorts irritably. >"If you're gonna be mean like last year, I'm not playing anymore!" 886 responds with a huff, wandering off. >At this, Daddy's face twists in indignation. "And where do you think YOU are going soldier?!" >"TO GET COTTON CANDY!" >*CRRR!* Motherbase, come in! This is Strike Force One!" >You grab your radio-thingy and hold it up to your ear. >You're still getting reception? That's a really long string. >"Squad leader is hit, and she didn't let go of the sheet! WE ARE GOING DOWN! REPEAT, THE WHOLE WING IS GOING DOWN!" >"...*CRRR!*" >You and Daddy watch in horror as your own sheet descends right on top of your reserves. >"They've got cushions and blankets! BRACE FOR NAPPIES!!" is that last thing you hear. >And then... >Snoring. >Supreme Commander Daddy, a broken husk of a Hugh-Mahn, collapses onto his knees as Team D begins to break.