Title: Anon Falls - Where's the God Damn Snowflake Slayer?! Author: Anonymous Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/mvqZ51b3 First Edit: Wednesday 10th of June 2015 04:30:28 PM CDT Last Edit: Wednesday 10th of June 2015 04:30:28 PM CDT "What's it like to have met the Baron?"   I'm not too sure to me honest. After all the disasters he's caused, the slavers spread rumors he had been one of Red Eye's secret officers trying to stage a coup, despite Red Eye's denial of it all. I wouldn't find out the whole truth until later.   But all Protégé and I were concerned with was that somepony had listened in on our argument. He had stopped Protégé at the door, reciting every line I had uttered that would implicate me of rebellion. Baron demanded he discipline me in private if didn't want the other masters learning of Protégé's weakness.   "You're still here. So you must have found a way out of this."   If it was any other pony, Protégé may have talked around him. But the machines the metal-jawed pony had for legs may as well been a badge he was among Red Eye's highest circle. Only the ponies Red Eye spared from his old home possesses his gifts, I've been told by Protégé. He possessed as much authority as Stern to do whatever he wanted. To his credit, Protégé tried his best. We saw underneath his cape that the Baron was at his...lustful peak, we knew -- thought we knew what he wanted.   "You hesitated for a moment."   Yes, I'm getting to that. In retrospect, I should have kept my thoughts to myself. I was warned just moments ago what would happen if any of the other slavers had listened to my outbursts. Protégé stood up to me despite that. Promises to report the Baron's action to Red Eye, to ruin him. But this wasn't like Chainlink Shackles he could verbally outmaneuver. Like Red Eye was his master, the Baron was the same with his mechanical proof.   By what seemed to be a miracle, Underbeit took Protégé's bluff. But instead of reporting my misbehavior...he offered me a choice. He seemed to want to address me more than he or Ragini.   Either we walk away as if nothing happened, or Baron Underbeit can arrange to transfer more rations to the FunFarm like I wanted, if I indulged him.   The tense meeting quickly switched to Protégé desperately trying to stop me, offering to take my place it could spare me the experience.   "You were willing to submit yourself to him? Really?"   Stupid! Hypocrite of me. I know. But after all I preached to Protégé about how much we had been suffering in those pits, I knew if I had walked away, I would lose the right to ever give my say.   "Protégé didn't just stand there, did he?"   Oh no, things didn't go quietly. All of Underbeit's guards had pinned him down while he knocked Ragini unconcious with one blow. In some sick irony, the Baron uttered to him how sacrifices must be made.   Baron led me down, to the back gantry of the warehouse. And that is when he...                                                                      * * *   He briskly pushed me into the darkest office, stepping inside himself before his metal hooves snapped against the door frame, casting the room into utter darkness. My vision only just adjusted to the outline of the metal-jawed warlord before my captor made a gesture to bask himself with his Pipbuck's light.   The old shelves, filing cabinet, and the slavers armor and coat surrendered to the color of Stable-Tec's green glow. Everything but his malevolent eyes. Stricken pricks of violet focused upon his quarry, me. I shakily took a step away, he merely had to compensate with two steps forward.   "It's alvays Littlepip the others keep vooning about." As confused I was why he'd bring the subject up, my most inspiring and challenged memories triggered upon his mentioning of the Stable Dweller. "Alvays about meeting her...always about cuddling her."   I was stumped at the sudden shift in his accent, it was all too noticeable after he spent an hour uttering any sentence with a 'are's' and 'double you' with a painfully thick 'V'.   "To be honest, you're the one that really matters. I couldn't resist searching the moment I heard one of the slavers mention your friend's name, v's."   Underbeit's mysterious cryptic meant little as the earth pony undressed, starting with his cape. The light of his Pipbuck made sure to lighten the sheen of his desires to wake me reality. The next item, to my horror and regret to accepting the monster's bargain, his metal chin.   "You've no idea how much I wanted..."   Oh no. No no no...I had gotten sick with the imagery alone if Baron took it off before performing. A pony missing half his head, with nothing but the tongue hanging down his neck.   "...to take this annoying thing off!" Underbeit continued speaking fluently, massaging his intact face. "Felt like a breast implant for my face."   Despite the armor he wore befitting any crazed slaver, the earth pony now looked surprisingly as cordial and maintained as I was was without the metal serrated edges of teeth lining half his face. I was still wary what is game was. His legs, I am sure, were genuine cybernetics replacements.   A small wonder crossed if Baron Underbeit was faking more than just losing his under bite. But perhaps like Protégé's spectacles, it's to gain an extra edge in cowing the other slavers. Elite of Red Eye or not with his legs, I could understand why he thinks he needed to look more imposing to humble the other overseers.   I had nearly forgotten about his risen exposure.   "Really sorry about that." The mischief eyed warlord clarified quickly as he curtained his haunches and erection with his cape. "If ever one of me is ever aroused, I always am. Hard enough I got four Calamity-necrophiliac’s in here."   I blinked towards what he had just explained, sounding as little sense as Protégé's first attempt to teach me math.   "Yeah...would've been better if I had just said chronic erection’s the result of Taint." the lax looking slaver was aware of my reaction, "Would've been one awesome mutation to end up with, granted."   Gulping, I carefully searched for the right words to ask. Who's to say this pony wasn't suffering from Taint laden mania to delude there's multiples of himself?   "So you're not going to..." I stuttered, "t-take me, Master Underbeit?"   "Eh." the pony murmured, as if guilty about answering the question honestly, "There was never any Baron Underbeit. Just call me Anon 69. To be honest, majority of your fans was more anticipating about what you'd do to Unity and Glimmer than anything else."   How did he-?   "And that's the real reason why I brought you here, kid." the imposter interjected faster than I could think, "Gonna need to make sure that scene is ungodly and memorable when it's written in the real world. Alphabet's a good start on education. But golly, you're years behind in the sex ed department!"   My eyes flashed open, making sure this buck didn't have a metal cap for a skull, for anything that can justify his switch in reasoning. Moments ago he was so menacing, tormenting Protégé and me of all the things he was going to do to me. If this pony was just bluffing, why would he bother scaring me at all? Why is he so fixated on me even though he's never met?   "Now do you know what happens when a mare and colt loves each other very much or at least one of them drugs the other?"   My wings suddenly hurt.