Title:           AdventureFag s4lbniusa2 CYOA
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/9V4SH4aB
First Edit:      Sunday 28th of July 2013 08:10:52 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 28th of July 2013 08:10:52 PM CDT

Adventurefag's CYOA #1
 
>be Anon
>wake up in everfree forest
>inventory: bag of weed, swiss army knife, a sharpie, one flip-flop reading "Property of Iron Will", clothing, shoes
>wat do?
 
>you decide to smoke some weed to get the stress away
>no lighter
>get some sticks
>start rubbing the wood
>then you start to rub the sticks together
>fire!
>start 420_blaze_it.exe
>pass out from weed inhalation
>damn asthma
>wake up
>smoke everywhere
>forest on fire
 
>look into flames
>think
"Isn't this how people get superpowers?"
"or was it gamma radiation..."
>404 can't find memory
>run fuckit.exe
>jump into flames
>the burning hurts but you feel something within you rising in power
 
>feel nothing
>wat
>no superpowers?
>just flesh burning?
>step out of fire
>scream in pain
>wait
>your breath smells
>inhale deeply
>instantly stoned
>weed breath
>sweet
>something swoops down and takes you out of the forest
"woah, you have wings"
>"not only are they wings, but they are the fastest wings in the world"
>rainbow pegasus
>must be weed
>she flies you into a town of colorful ponies
>weirdest trip you have ever been on
 
>see all the ponies
>panic
>punch rainbow pony in the genitals
>escape from her grip
>hit ground
>broke both arms
>run to nearest house
>jump through the windows
>calm down
>weed wearing off
>see two pony guards
>guess it wasnt the weed
>"stop right there criminal scum"
 
>see slab sticking out in the ground
>take it out
>ohshit.jpg
>its the slab of that creepy motherfucker Ramses
>throw slab at guards
>bad CGI Ramses appears
>shitting pants
>this motherfucker thinks he can tell me what to do
>fuck that shit
>the curse begins...
>flood coming to ponyville
 
>giant wave coming
>quickly take a door
>carve into surfboard
>start riding wave
>thank god for those surfing classes
>doing all sorts of awesome tricks
>dodging buildings
>flood finally ends
>dead ponies in the river
>shit
>creepy sandnigger Ramses again
>no fuck you and your slab
>dont even know where it is
>music starts plaaying
>fuck this is terrible
>so loud
>so annoying
 
>idea
>start singing the Will of One
>pegusi and unicorns join in
>earth ponies dead due to flood
>loud as fuck
>not as annoying
>finish the song and pleb Ramses is back
>no fuck you ramses
>oh shit
>hungry locuses
>thousands of them
>they devour the pegasi
 
>remember weed breath
>run up to that fucker
>breathe in his face
>stoned
>"woah, shit motherfucker, I'm hungrier than your mom on thanksgiving. Where da food at?"
"I'll show you if you stop your locuses"
>"alright nigger"
>"yo little nigs! Get your asses back here!"
>tragedy = avoided
 
>you decide to take him to taco bell
>get the eleven taco pack
>wear sunglasses inside
>tell jokes and shit
>ramses is a pretty cool motherfucker
>ramses added to party
>give the nigger back his slab
>we cool now
 
>all of a sudden space chicken out of fucking nowhere
"damn ramses this is like a shitty CYOA"
>"yeah man, I could use a hit"
>breathe on face
>space chicken still there.
>you hate that motherfucker
 
>its too late
>Meghan the alicornator appears
>"RISE MY ALICORNS"
>gain wings and horn
>everyone does
>even space chicken
>and ramses
>we are all Mary Sues
>all of us
>must undo this
 
>suddenly
>GOP is here
>she came back
>she links her rules
>TIME TRAVEL
 
>take a piece of gauze off of Ramses
>draw Yu-Gi-Oh card
"I play blue eyes white dragon!"
>giant motherfucker comes out and eats space chicken
>and starts eating pegasi
 
>you raise your hands into the air.
>begin charging the spirit bomb
>you start talking to every living thing as they pass their energy to you for your ultimate move.
>when it's charged you fire the spirit bomb at Blue eyes
>instakill
>ponyville is saved
>key to the city
>you cam get away with pretty much anything now
 
>find Winnona
>take out knife
>cut the bitch
>guards again
>"by order of the jarl stop right there"
 
>open inventory
>activate mods
>10x larger with infinite health
"Come at me bro"
>"so be it"
>starts swinging his waraxe at you and ramses
 
>time to end this
"FALCON PUNCH!"
>everyone is dead from the 10x larger falcon punch
>except ramses
>equestria is now a wasteland.
 
>you gather your energies and feel the ravaging torrents of time and space swirl around you
>feel the power swell in your bossom and know that all is within your reach
>Extend a hand through the gaseous space of upper universes and let flow the energy of gods unknown into you
>Turn what was once not, into what was eternal
>Gods of time ancient cower and writhe about you, weaving their cries of pain as you reap what was sown so long ago
 
/CYOA