Title:           "psst, can you talk in there?" >"im not supposed to talk during my shift" "are
Author:          Anonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/jd5zhAdU
First Edit:      Sunday 26th of October 2014 01:44:14 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 26th of October 2014 01:44:14 AM CDT

"psst, can you talk in there?"
>"im not supposed to talk during my shift"
"are you a fan of the show"
>"...yeah"
"are you a horsefucker?"
>"..."
"just answer"
>"...yes"
"do you want to quit this job?"
>"pretty badly, yeah"
"do you plan to?"
>"probably, i have another place im gonna be working full time at soon"
"do you want to quit in style?"
>"what do you mean?"
"so you want to go out with a laugh?"
>what did you have in mind?"
"pinkie x anon"
>"sounds funny, why not, i hate this place anyways"
>you go and grab a greensuit off one of the nearby shelves, and quickly slip it on
>you also grab a horse mask and put it on as well
>you come back
"are you ready?"
>"fuck it, lets do it"
>you step behind pinkie and start humping the suit
>the entire store is staring
>security starts to approach
"quick, start moving"
>the 2 of you running through the store away from security
>humping whenever you get a chance
>eventually, you end up in the middle of the store
>you stop and hump furiously, and shout
"PINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>security tackles both of you to the ground
your mask is taken of, and the greensuit removed
>the pinkie pie suit is removed, and a girl is inside
>as you are both escorted out, she tells you her number
>"we should do this again sometime, but without the suits"
"i only fuck horses, faggot"
>"what the hell? this isnt 4chan you idiot"
"newfag please"
 
>then decides you are tired of this whole situation
>manage to break one arm free of the security officer's grip, and pull out your katana
>take out the security officers in 1 swift motion
>run back over to the toy section, and grab your plushie waifu
>proceed to the fashion department, and grab a fedora
>got to the school section and grab an mlp themed backpack
>run to the food section, and grab as much pasta sauce and noodles as you can
>quickly go to a large open area in the store
>begin to dump the pasta sauce in the sacred autism awareness puzzle piece formation
>put the backpack in the middle, and fill it with all the noodles and leftover pasta sauce
>now that everything is complete, it is time to finish the ritual, you tip your fedora like nobody has ever tipped before
>the whole store begins to shake, and the backback begins to hum
>stand back as you watch your creation
>a blinding light appears around the backpack, and when it is gone, you see it, your creation
>a spaghetti powered jetpack blessed by the gods of autism
>and just in time too
>the sirens of police can be heard outside the store
>it doesnt matter though
>put on the spaghettipack and run towards door
>as you exit the store police surround you and shout
>"HANDS IN THE AIR"
>kek
>say nothing, but tip your fedora again, activating your spaghettipack, and propelling you into the air
>the police are unable to react, to shocked to be able to process the autism they are witnessing
>as you ascend, you look down at the normalfags below you
"farewell, it has been a great displeasure living on this earth with you all"
>look up to the sun, and tip your fedora again to accelerate
>accelerate faster and faster, until eventually
>a sonic spaghetti boom
>another blinding light, but this time when it fade
>your eyes adjust, and you look around to see...
>[spoiler] equestria [/spoiler]
 
FIN