Title:           Yo mama *
Author:          AnontheAnonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ibxFTRFB
First Edit:      Sunday 20th of January 2013 05:23:43 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 20th of January 2013 05:23:43 PM CDT

>Day haha in Equestria
>You wake up and take a shower
>You put on some clothes and hear a knock on the door
>You open it and see Fluttershy with tickets in her mouth
What do you have there?
>She drops one
>You pick it up and look at it
>It's a VIP pass to Fluttershy's stand up comedy club
You're a comedian?
>She nods
Wait don't you have stage fright?
>She nods again
Then how can you-
>"I'm not s-scared when I'm d-drunk."
>Oh
Okay...this is for later right?
>"Anon are y-you okay?"
Why?
>"It's the m-middle of the day."
>You look around outside
>Sun is up at the top
Oh...okay when is it?
>"In an hour."
Well shit come in I need to get ready.
>You move aside and she walks in
>You shut the door
Just make yourself at home...and don't use anything as a dildo again.
>You hear her whine a bit while walking up the stairs
>Crazy bitch
>You put on your fancy suit Rarity made you
>It was her colors but fuck it's fly
>You look in the mirror
>feellikeagangster.jpg
>You walk downstairs and Fluttershy is drinking some wine
Uhhh what are you doing?
>"Getting ready for the club..."
>She has the bottle in her mouth and chugs all of it
>She throws it and it shatters on the counter
You done yet?
>"No."
>She walks over to the fridge and takes out a bottle of cider
Lets go.
>She wraps her wing around the bottle like a hand
>Wait wat
>How does that even work?
>Shut up brain
>You both head out
>She doesn't try anything all the way there
>Strange
>You arrive at a round building
>The security guard is a griffon
>She sees Fluttershy and opens it
>Fluttershy goes in and you follow
>You're stopped by the griffon
>"Hold up there where do you think you're going?"
>You hold up the ticket
>He nods and lets you in
>Fluttershy guides you backstage and chugs the cider on the spot without taking a breath
>Hory Sheet
>She's drunk as fuck
>Stumbling everywhere, being rude and disgusting, and she suprisingly talks better
>No studdering
>You sit on a couch that faces the stage
>The P0ny that was performing got booed off
>Fluttershy stands up and winks at you
>"Watch this babe."
>She flicks you on the hand with her tail and walks towards the stage
>Damn Fluttershy is more assertive while drunk...
>Kinda hot too
>NO BRAIN
>Fine
>She stands there on the stage
>"How is everyp0ny doing today?"
>You hear one loud voice
>"Fucking shitty!"
>You chuckle to yourself as that pone is dragged out
>Fluttershy starts her act
>She actually says some mildly funny things
>Nothing you haven't heard before
>Except her stories
>God damn those were knee slappers
>Like when she told her story about when she first met you
>"So I'm just walking down the street minding my business right? Out of nowhere comes this huge fucking hairless naked monkey screaming, trips on me and we both fall in mud."
>"I had 3 thoughts on my mind. 1: Holy shit there are hairless monkeys?! 2: MY LEG! 3: Damn it's got a big hot monkey dick..."
>Her saying cuss words made you laugh even more
>She finishes and is cheered as she comes back and snuggles next to you
>"I love you Anon."
>You put your arm around her
That was pretty funny I admit.
>"You want to go?"
>She doesn't give you time to respond when she flies back out
>"Anon is actually here now. He said he could top me with jokes."
>Butterflies are having a war in your stomach
>Fucking stage fright
>Fucking Fluttershy
>"Come on Anon! Let's have a joke battle!"
>You slump out and try not to look at...the...thousands...of creatures out there
>What do I brain?!
>Failed to load brain.exe
>Shiiiittt
>You walk over to her and whisper in her ear
Why did you do that?
>She whispers back
>"Are you too chicken?"
>Fuck this mare
N-no I'm not!
>She backs up and says into the mic
>"Anon has challenged me to a yo mama contest!"
>Butterflies have ascended to warfare in your stomach
>If they keep it up it'll be fallout digestia and you'll shit your pants
>You start composing yourself
>"Too chicken to start? Okay I'll start then."
>You look out to the audience again then back to her
>She tosses you a mic and you almost miss it
>"Yo mama's so fat when I threw an apple at her it got caught in her orbit!"
>Tons of laughter
>You stand there thinking of one
>Brain.exe has finished loading
>Brain.exe has installed yo mama jokes 9000
Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it!
>Fluttershy is taken back by you actually responding
>There is a roar of laughter
>"Yo mama's is so ugly that she entered in the ugly contest they told her 'no professionals.'"
>Another wave of laughter
>Butterflies have signed a peace treaty
Yo mama's so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye!
>Even louder cheering and laughter
>Fluttershy is looking pissed now
>She even moved her mane out of her face so she could stare at you harder
>"Yo mama's so old when I told her to act her age, she died!"
>A less stronger roar but still a roar of laughter
Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek!
>"Yo mama's so fat she sweats mayonnaise!"
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book!
>Everyone is silent and confused for a couple seconds
>Then a lot of them boo
>Oh right
>This isn't earth
>Meanwhile in your stomach
>Buttermany invaded Poland and the whole world went to chaos
>Butterjews were being slaughtered in cocoontration camps
>Even the larvas were being burned
>This event will forever be known as the Buttercost
>"Yo mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party!"
>You hear a party canon somewhere in the crowd
Yo mama so old her birthdate is expired!
>Fluttershy is looks worried now
>Yes!
>The world powers finally contained and destroyed Buttermany
>Everyone is given back their land
>Except Amonarcha is still fighting Butterpan
>"I guess you win Anon. I got nothin else."
>Amonarcha has dropped the "Atomic Fly" on Butterpan obliterating them into submission
>The world becomes peaceful again
>"Give it up for my love Anon!"
>Every creature stands up and claps
>Fluttershy walks with you off stage
>You both leave
>"That was amazing Anon!"
Haha yeah...you aren't bad yourself.
>"So uh..."
What?
>You stop and look at her
>"Are jokes your fetish?"
>You sigh
No Fluttershy.
>She goes home depressed
>You go home and throw up because your stomach is fucked from the wars
>You wipe your mouth and flush the toilet
Fucking Butterflies
Fucking Fluttershy