Title:           The Paper (Request)
Author:          AnontheAnonymous
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Kmp2aR4J
First Edit:      Friday 25th of January 2013 02:51:13 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 25th of January 2013 02:51:13 AM CDT

Asked to use:
Taylor Swift
Radar
Sacrificial Knives
 
 
>Day in Equestria
>You wake up and stretch your back
>You walk downstairs scratching your head
>You open the door to pick up the paper like you always do
>Fluttershy sits there
You're early. Now move I need the paper.
>She moans and tenses up
>The highly lubricated paper squirts out of her vag and slides across your floor
>You just stare at her
>"Is the paper your fetish?"
>You are about to slam the door in her face when she says
>"No wait! M-maybe we can get another paper?"
>You look back at the soaked in Flutters newspaper
Yeah. Let's do that.
>"Okay I'll be right back!"
>She zooms off
>You shrug and make some toast to eat
>You smear the butter on your toast with those strange knives that merchant sold you
>Sacrificial Knives you think he called them
>What a fucking nut job
>You eat the toast and feel a tingly sensation in your body
>Just then the wall crashes in
>When the smoke clears you see a huge wooden aircraft in your house
>Fluttershy pokes her head out
>"Is...property damage your fetish?"
No...speaking of which, WHAT THE FUCK?!
>She cowers
>Then she gets back in the cockpit and pulls something out
>"W-well you know that w-weird cross eyed p0ny?"
Derpy?
>"Y-yeah. She also b-brings the paper."
So what the fuck does that have to do with my house being destroyed by a wooden plane?
>"I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a friend of another guy, and that guy knows another guy's cousin, who is really good at tracking people down."
>How she said that without stuttering the world may never know
GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!
>"I f-flew the plane to that g-guys house and he gave me this thing to track her with."
>She throws down to you a radar
How the fuck does it work?
>"H-he said you need to g-get some of her DNA..."
>You look over at the soggy newspaper in horror
No...please...
>"But I thought y-you wanted the paper?"
>Fuck...you did want that paper
>You suck it up and pick up the soggy newspaper
>You gag as you open it
>There's a blonde hair right in it
>You pick it out of there
Where do I put this?
>"I-in the top."
>You put the hair to the top and something sucks it in
>It clicks on
>You see a line that goes around in a circle
>Every once in a while you see a dot that appears
>And then a dot that's right next to you
>Fucking Fluttershy...
I think I found her!
>She flutters down after you when you run out of the house
>Suddenly you feel the tingly sensation again
>Some random p0ny drops a vase
>Woah
>You somehow adapted Pinkie's power
>This could come in handy
>You continue walking towards the dot
>When you get about 6 meters away you hear something
>Something really fucking annoying
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw
>You look towards the sound
>You see Derpy with big ugly glasses on holding cards that say things over to a house parallel to hers
>The other p0ny opens his window and calls her a freak
>You decide to stop standing around and...
>That tingle...
>You hear the same p0ny scream out
>"FREEDOM!"
>He smacks against the ground
>He's dead obviously but Fluttershy still checks
>You just walk up to Derpy's door
>You knock
>The earraping music stops and she opens the door
>"OH hi! Aren't you the human?"
>She looks at you and your dick at the same time
>Fluttershy wishes she can do this
I need another paper, mine had...an accident.
>"Oh gosh was it bad is he hurt?!"
>You facepalm
Just give me another paper.
>She nods and goes back inside
>She hands you the paper
>You thank her and head back with Fluttershy
>"Are requests your fetish Anon?"
No Fluttershy. I'm just bored.
>She sighs and flies home
>You go back to your house and ignore the giant wooden plane and Fluttercum stain
>Today was an average day