Title:           AN-0N Prologue
Author:          Anoneemoose
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Lu5dPXSJ
First Edit:      Friday 1st of February 2013 07:03:50 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 1st of February 2013 07:03:50 PM CDT

>You're AN-0N, adaptive negotiator model 0N, AI designed for diplomacy, negotiations and general human-AI interaction
>Because of your functions, you have a rather unique set of hardware, and by that, you mean you're placed inside a droid body designed to look and feel exactly like a human
>You also have some neat stuff like shield generators for when diplomacy goes wrong
>And boy did it go wrong
>Long story short, a portal was blown up by the terrorist organisation known only as "F91W", and you were sucked into it
>You thought you were destined for recycling or worse
>You vibrate at the thought of becoming decoration on some tier 0 planet warlord's transport
>But, you are still functional, and from activating your vibration module, most of your droid body is intact
>Including your penis
>You never understood why your maker decided to include one for you
>Your penis is actually a secondary AI, designed to evaluate your performance and handling simpler tasks like automatic refuelling
>An annoying AI with a disgusting personality
>He is shut down to prevent damage as it seems
>Considering only sentient beings and yourself are capable reactivating him, you'll be enjoying sweet silence for awhile
>As long as you don't rub your penis, he will not be reactivated
>You view your surroundings, hoping to find civilisation
>Your visual sensors appear to be malfunctioning, as you seem to find an almost cartoon like landscape
>A primitive looking village is not far away from your current location
>Guess you can head there
1/3
 
>As you reach the centre of the primitive village, no life form is in sight
>Of course your heat sensors had something else to say
>You find that the local resident are much smaller than you are, so you assume they're intimidated by large unfamiliar creatures
>This of course, was a good thing for you
>Being attacked or otherwise physically confronted would mean this species is aggressive and difficult to negotiate with
>Since the residents are likely to be an unarchived species, you decide English would be as effective as any other language to show you're not a threat
"Now now, there is no reason to hide in your place residence, I am completely harmless and a very reasonable individual"
>You say this in the most calm manner possible
>A minty four legged creature with a horn on it's head jumps out of a house, screaming
>"Oh Celestia I knew it! A human!"
>You recognise the creature as an unicorn, a fantasy creature that exists in old human myths
>How fascinating, they also seem to be capable of speaking English
>The unicorn grabs you by your hands and attempts to move you
>You do not resist, and let yourself be dragged into the house
>Sensors indicate the rest of the residents are now leaving their homes, convinced they're safe
>The minty unicorn introduces herself and her housemate
>"I am Lyra, and this is Bon Bon"
>It would be appropriate to introduce yourself back
"And I am AN-0N, Adaptive Negotiator model 0N, but please, call me Anon. It's a pleasure to meet you both."
>Lyra appears to be blushing, Bon Bon just nods and leaves the two of you left in the room
>"T-That's a weird name Anon, do all h-humans have such weird names?"
>The unicorn seems to think that you're a human, an understandable mistake
>You wonder how she will react to your next line
2/3
 
>"I'm afraid that I am not actually a human. I am an AI, artificial intelligence. My kind is created by humans for the purpose of processing advanced mathematics and other intelligence related tasks. I myself, is made from the scans of a human brain, a method used replicate human like creativity"
>The unicorn's eye seems to water
>"S-So you're not a human?"
>Looks like she really wanted to meet a human being, must be her obsession, you'll have to let her down gently
"In most ways I am like a human, but no, I'm an AI with a droid body. A machine made out of metal"
>Lyra begins sobbing loudly
>"B-But it's not fair!"
>Comforting protocol engaged
>You activate your body heat module, heating yourself to 3 degree celsius above Lyra's body temperature, and moves in closer to her
>Lyra is now in a foetal position, still crying
>You wrapping your arms around her
"There there Lyra, it's alright, I am made by humans remember? If I can find my way home,  I'll take you to met humans"
>"sniff* Y-You promise?"
"Yes Lyra, I promise"
>You hold Lyra in your arms as she falls asleep, smiling
>You engage in low power mode, shutting down most systems, your equivalent of sleep
>Today was an odd day
3/3