Title:           First Two Days of Fluffy Pony Carrot and Mommy
Author:          AnonKono
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/DVaRzS3H
First Edit:      Sunday 25th of March 2012 01:06:05 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 25th of March 2012 01:06:05 AM CDT

>Hear about fluffy ponies.
>Life sucks alone.
>Decide to get one.
>At adoption agency.
>Man walks out with a dark red ball of fluff babbling about "gow fyast, gow fyast"
>"Next!" the man calls.
>Go up to a crate full of different colored fuzz balls mewling, babbling "Pway" and "owchie" and "hungie"
>"Got a safe room?" the guy says, disinterested.
"All set up"
>"Aight, pick one" he says apathetically one, opening the crate.
>Fuzz balls squirm around to see you, spewing "New fwend" and "pick fwuffy" and "pway wif fwuffy"
>daww.png
>See orange fuzz ball struggling to get to the top.
>Gets to the top "new fwend pway wit fwuffy?"
>That one
"I'll take the orange one"
>Pay for new fluffy pony.
>Life is good.
 
The end!
 
>Get home after long day's work.
>Waitressing sucks.
>Doesn't help that you spend most of the day getting your ass smacked by vulgar truckers.
>It's okay though. Just got a new fluffy pony. It's like an adorable cross between a cat, a toddler, and a puppy with a crazy ball of fluff for a body.
>Rescued it. Lots of people out there enjoy torturing the poor things.
>Check on fluffy pony.
>Unlock safty room door.
>Out toddles a little ball of pastel green fuzz.
>"Mommy howm! Cawwit miss Mommy! Mommy howm! Huggies? Pway! Mommy howm!" it spews out it's adorable baby talk
>Open enclosure and pick her up
>"HUGGIES! HUGGIES! Why wuv woo Mommy" She's practically vibrating.
"I love you too, Carrot," you tell her.
>Life is good.
 
The end!
 
>Put fluffy pony down. It starts nudging your leg.
>"Pway?" It looks up at you
>DemEyes.jpeg
"Mommy needs to get food ready first," you tell it.
>Carrot perks up. "Ma'wewwows?"
>Look confused.
>"Cawwit wike ma'wewwows. Ma'wewwows nummies!" Lin cheers on.
>Oh. Duh. Marshmellows.
>You laugh at the cuteness.
"Not tonight. To much sugar is bad for you. Tonight we have spaghetti."
>"Pasketi!"
>Life is good.
 
The end!
 
 
>After dinner.
>Carrot is running around pushing a red ball around while you relax on the couch reading Time and listening to Jazz.
>Decide to mix a drink.
>Get up.
>Carrot paws at your leg "Pway! Pway wit Cawwit! Pwease? Mommy pway?"
>demeyes.jpeg
>Pick her up and tickle her belly
>"Tickwies!" Carrot laughs. Hooves wiggling in every direction.
>You daww hard
>"I wuv yoo, Mommy."
>Heart melts.
>Carry Carrot into kitchen. Place her on the counter.
"Now be a good girl and sit there while Mommy gets a drink"
>"Dwink? Cawwit have baba?"
>Fix yourself a gin and tonic, and pop a baby bottle filled with milk and honey in the microwave for thirty seconds.
>DING!
>Carrot lights the fuck up. "BABA! BABA!"
>Dear god, the wiggling.
>Grab gin and tonic, Lin, and her bottle and head to her saferoom.
>Sit down on a baby chair and bottle feed Lin, sipping your own drink.
"Alright, baby. Bedtime."
>Carrot yawns.
>toocute.avi
>"Mews?" she asks sleepily
"Okay," you smile and tuck her in. "I'll be right back"
>Lin looks a little disheartened.
>Kiss her face and reassure her.
>Come back with violin and proper chair.
>Have scary talent for string instruments.
>Why are you a waitress again?
>Oh yeah, money.
>Improv a lullaby.
>Carrot snoring lightly
>Retuck her in, kiss her on face again.
>About to lock up. "Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
>"Cawwit wuv yoo."
>Life is good.
 
The End!
 
>Next morning.
>Day off! Woo!
>Hear pitter patter of little hooves trotting at fullspeed from fluffy pony safety room.
>Look inside. See Lin up and playing with her big red ball, occassionally trying to chew on it.
>Carrot sees you.
>"Mama!" Jumps up at the door, entire body all a twitter.
>Holy crap, bundle of energy at this hour?
>You need coffee.
>Head to kitchen to get coffee.
>Hear Carrot crying for you. "Mama! Come bak! No weave Cawwit! Mama, Cawwit scawd n awone! Hewp!"
>Shit. Forgot to let Carrot out.
>Damn that thing freaks out quickly.
>Let Carrot out.
>She rushes over, full speed.
>Tries to clear the enclosure fense outside the safetyroom door.
>She fails, getting just high enough to slam her head on the hard top piece.
>Instant sobs.
>Pick her up.
"Hush now, little one. Mommy's here."
>"No weave?" she chokes out.
"No, no leave."
>"...get owie.."
>Dry her tears with the hem of your shirt. Kiss her forehead.
"All better?"
>Fluffy pony nods and snuggles
>Head back to kitchen.
>Finally get your goddamn coffee.
>Life is good.
 
The End!
 
>"Carrot! Time to go!"
>Have basket and violin case in hands.
>Going on a picnic at the park.
>"Go pawk!" You fluffy pony is wiggling and hopping for all she's worth.
>She's super excited. She loves going to the park.
>Climb into the car.
>Buckle Carrot in. Takes her a good 2 minutes to calm down enough.
>She sits contently, staring at you.
"... What?"
>Carrot just stares at you.
"Okay..."
>Concentrate on driving.
>"MOMMY! WE GO PAWK!!" Carrot squeals.
>JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST.jpg
>Swerve. Nearly drive off the road.
>Pull off to the side, and look sternly at Carrot.
"Don't do that!"
>She's confused, on the verge of tears. She clearly doesn't understand.
>Deep breath.
"Okay, sweetie. Mommy's not mad, but while Mama's driving you need to stay quiet, okay? We could have gotten seriously hurt!"
>She nods meakly.
"What aren't you going to do?"
>"No tawkie in wide."
>Fluffy pony learned a lesson.
>Life is good... assuming she remembers.
 
The end!
 
>At the park.
>Finished lunch.
>Practicing violin.
>Carrot is frollicking in the grass, rolling around in the flowers.
>Be approached by woman with a small dog.
>Dog runs off to "play" with Fluffy Pony.
>In background "New fwend?"
>Discussing violin, and training.
>"Pway?"
>Lady is genuinely surprised that you've had no formal training.
>Hear a squeak.
>See dog chasing fluffy pony.
>Assume game and continue talking to lady.
>"Cawwit no wike game! Mommy hewp! Weggie owchie!" Carrot cries out.
>The dog is now shaking your fluffy pony by her back hoove, trying to tear it off.
>Oh god!
>Rush over and with the lady's help pull the dog off.
>Fluffy pony shaking from fear in your arms, babbling "weggie owchie" over and over.
>Examine her and see that aside from a small amount of bleeding, she's fine.
>"I am so sorry! He's normally so good with fluffy ponies! Here's my card. I'll cover all medical expenses."
"It's okay. She's mostly just scared. Shhhh, it's okay, baby."
>Fluffly pony is hugging you, being all teary, and shaking.
>"Good. Look, I know this is a bad time, but I want to talk to you about a job playing violin at my resturant."
"No offense Miss..." look at the card. "Janis, but I think I should just talk my fluffy home."
>"I understand. You have my card. Give my a call sometime this week, and we'll discuss it then. Again, I'm sorry about all this."
>Nod, and collect your things.
>Be driving home.
>Carrot has calmed down and watching the world go by, and you are getting a job playing violin.
>Life is good.
 
The End!
 
>At home.
>Dinner time.
>Lin hasn't talked much since getting home.
>She ate her dinner just fine, but without her usual enthusiasm.
>You're worried.
"Carrot, what's wrong, sweetheart?" you ask, hoping that her pony brain is capable of understanding.
>"Why aminaw no wan be fwens? Why bite Cawwit weggie?"
>Oh fuck. Wat do?
>Put your little ball of orange fluff on your lap.
>Immediately snuggles your legs.
>canyoufeelthelovetonight.mp3
>Decide to lie.
"Oh sweetie, the dog wanted to be your friend. That's how dogs play. They don't play like we play."
>Your sweetie little pony looks dreadfully confused.
>She's unable to comprehend how something isn't like her. Aren't all things loving and cuddling?
>Sigh.mp3
"How about I get you your bottle?"
>"...baba..?" she mews, forgetting about her confusion.
>God she's easy to distract.
"Yes, baba."
>Smiles all around.
>Get Lin a bottle of warm milk and honey.
>Your fluffy pony has forgotten what happened, and is happy once again.
>Life is good.
 
The End!