Anomaly 3

>In front of you lies a bakery.

>The roof is modeled so that it resembles a giant frosted cake.

>It reminds you of the witches house in Hansel and Gretel, the giant gingerbread house.

>You walk through the door which strikes a bell, announcing your entrance.

>A Pink earth pony pulls her head out of the oven, a tray of muffins in her mitted hooves.

>She gives you a big smile, and you can't help but smile back at her.

>"Why good morning Mister Anonymous! I have some deelicious treats here if you're interested!"

>She stretches the Dee into like three syllables.  

>"You're not though!" she playfully groans before you can speak "You just want Boring! Old! Bread!"

>She slams the muffin tray onto the counter

>On the way down, it strikes a baking sheet with the mentioned loaf of bread on it, balanced on a bowl.

>The bread arcs up into the rafters and gently comes down, softly bouncing off of the rafters in three places.

>(The three places are covered in fresh plastic wrap, to keep the bread from getting dirty)

>You easily catch the bread into your waiting bag and watch as the muffins land in a display basket

>Except for the one that lands in Pinkie's mouth.

 

 

>She swallows, crosses her front hooves on the counter, and rests her head on them.

>Pinkie has warmed up to you, after her initial, uncharacteristic coldness at your arrival.

>Ever since you convinced her to make you plain bread instead of a frosted cake, she’s been coming up with bizarre, elaborate ways to give it to you.

>This is actually a step down from yesterday’s cannon though.

>"Someday Anonononomous, you'll get tired of eating that boring old bread. Or as I am now calling it: BOB"

>"But Pinkie, I like..." she looks at you, raising her eyebrows, "BOB. Also if humans eat too much sugar we get fat. I don't know how you do it."

>"Just know this anonymous" she points her hoof at you, suddenly serious. "I will serve you a frosting covered bakery product. I don't when, I don't know where, but I know this:" her eyes narrow "You. will. enjoy it."

>"Yes I will." you solemnly vow.

>You lay the appropriate amount of bits on the counter and take your leave.

>The bell on the door sounds a goodbye.

 

 

 

>You walk back to your apartment with your bread under your arm.

>A teal unicorn named Lyra was thrilled to rent out her upstairs to for, what you discern to be a bargain price, much to the annoyance of her roommate.

>Obtaining the local currency was much easier than you imagined.

>Pony medicine is mostly at the herbalist/alchemy level and makes copious use of medicinal herbs.

>Picking different herbs is difficult for a lot of ponies, since they use their mouth to grasp things.

>Some can cause dangerous effects with mere contact, a particular one plays cruel, ironic jokes on its victims, furthering your hypothesis that this is an artificially created universe.

>Your foreign molecular structure renders you immune to any effects from herbs and you happen to have hands.

>So the past two weeks you’ve been providing several ponies (and a zebra) with various hard to obtain herbs from the Everfree Forest, in exchange for cold, hard bits.

>One time you were afraid you were about to be killed by a horrible sea monster.

>But he turned out to be a pretty chill guy, you still shoot the shit with him when you’re down by the river.

 

 

>You lay the still-warm bread on the table and retrieve your bread knife from the drawer.

>You cut a slice of bread and use a tip of the long serrated knife to spread a bit of butter onto it.

>Two weeks ago, this reprieve from cupcakes and icing was delicious.

>Now it is, as Pinkie says, BOB.

>Two weeks of picking flowers and waving at cheerful ponies seems to be starting to get to you.

>Because due to the clicking, non-functional implant in your head, any cheerful, pleasing, idyllic description of Ponyvile in your mind is followed by the phrase: AND YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE.

>When you’re around the ponies, observing their antics, engaging them in conversation or even participating in of their lives, you’re alright.

>But by yourself, your mind slides off to darker places.

>There was a pony funeral yesterday.

>They hold their funerals outside, anyone can attend.  You stood at the back; some ponies are still put off by your presence.

>It was pretty much exactly what you would see at a human funeral. An old, wrinkled pony did the ceremony, talked about the life the pony had lived.

 

>There wasn’t much to say at this one, the deceased was a small filly.

>You saw a few of Twilight’s friends there and spoke with them about it.

>Ponies seem to take death in stride.  The filly in question had died in an accident, it was a shame and they grieved.  

>You place the bread knife against your wrist.

>Out of the depths of your memory comes a phrase: ‘Down the road, not across the tracks.’

>You wonder if the ponies would hold a funeral for an human.

>You wonder what it would be like.

>You press a little harder and marvel at how loud your heartbeat is.

>It seems almost as if the room is trembling to it.

>A massive trumpeting blast blows so loud you can feel it in your teeth.

>It is followed by a scream and a crash.

>You calmly place the knife onto the sink and head outside.

>A small part of your brain is just exited that something is happening.

 

 

>You stand and your door and watch the monster approach the town.

>It is as tall as the two story building you just came out of, a black sinister hulk with a thin black tentacle whipping around in the front of it.

>That tentacle sends chills down your spine. The last tentacle you encountered was from a wall-squid, which jammed into your ear and ate your name, leaving you only with anonymous. It still gives you nightmares.

>And creature lets out another ear-piercing blow and drunkenly staggers into a house, crushing the upper story completely.

>The shape of the creature, combined with the noise make you realize what it is.

>”It’s an elephant” says the bush beside you.

>You push back the branches to reveal a familiar pink and yellow pegasus.

>”Oh Anonymous! You’re bleeding! Did the elephant hurt you?”

>”I accidently cut myself; I was startled when I heard the elephant.”

>”Oh I see,” she nods “I was startled too, so I hid in this bush.”

>”So Fluttershy, do elephants come around here often?”

>”Oh no, I’ve never seen one before, I just recognize the shape from a book of Twilight’s. Although in the book, they’re not covered in black slime.”

>As you have this unhurried conversation, the elephant body slams another building, letting out another horrible blast.

>”Oh my. I sure hope Twilight comes soon, she always saves the village from monsters.”

>As if on cue, a purple pony rushes past directly toward the beast.

>Your mind takes a brief snapshot of her, head down, teeth gritted in determination, horn already glowing with magic.

>”Oh there she is! Go Twilight! Yay!” This was spoken softly enough that you’re sure you were the only thing in earshot.

 

 

>You see Twilight leap out of a window onto the roof of a building and quickly erect a giant, spherical forcefield directly in the monster’s path.

>It slams off of the forcefield and into another two that she’s placed at its sides.

>Slowly she begins to herd the creature away from the town; it bounces off of the forcefields like a ball in a giant fleshy pinball game.

>As it realizes it’s being herded though, the elephant gets pissed off.

>A large white eye opens on the side of its head and rolls around in the socket like crazy.

>It begins to sound one long sustained burst while violently flinging itself into the forcefields.

>Overhead you see a blue shape dive bombing the beast repeatedly, but Rainbow Dash is soon reduced to merely dodging the swinging whip-like trunk as it tries to strike her.

>You see cracks slowly starting to appear in Twilight’s forcefields. You assume that this means they’re going to come down, setting this thing loose on the town.

>All around you, ponies are screaming and running back and forth.

>You strongly feel like you should do something to help.

>And you get an idea.

 

 

 

 

>”Fluttershy!” The yellow pegasis has meekly retreated further into the bush after the beast became enraged.

>”Is there anyway you can get me on top of that elephant?”

>She stares back at you frightened.

>But then a look of determination crosses her face.

>”Yes.” She says “I can do that.”

>She runs out of the bush and grabs a flower cart, abandoned a short distance away.

>She hitches herself up and run back toward you, gesturing with her hoof for you to jump on.

>You do.

>You’ve seen ponies pull these carts through the air before, you always wonder if the pegasis’ natural magic it protects it from gravity or if it’s a feature of the innate physics of the universe.

>Not a question for right now though.

>Fluttershy and the cart soar into the air, leaving a trail of falling roses behind you.

 

 

>”Fluttershy! What are you doing?” Rainbow Dash calls, still narrowly dodging the flailing trunk.

>Fluttershy ignores her, screaming at the elephant.

>She yells at the creature, staring into it’s lolling eye, and tells it that is hurting ponies and it needs to leave.

>The creature responds by swiping at you with its trunk, you dodge it but the air currents in its wake almost capsize the cart.

>”Well,” says Fluttershy “I felt I had to try to reason with it at least. What’s your plan?”

>”Fluttershy,” you say, unsure of how she’ll take this, “I think we have to kill it.”

>You shouldn’t have worried. As someone to takes care of and feeds animals, Fluttershy is no stranger to the occasional necessity of violence. Some animals have to eat. Some have to be put down.

>As the trunk makes another swipe at Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy dives straight into the head.

 

>As the cart crash-lands, you realize just how big this elephant is. Far bigger than the ones from your home.

>You, Fluttershy and the broken cart take up the top of the head, luckily the black mesh like growth covering the beast allows you to hang on.

>This reminds you something from far in your past:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrFL2zPc2uk&feature=relmfu

>As the beast slams itself against the forcefields and tries to shake you off, you struggle to climb your way to the side of its head.

>And suddenly your face is staring right into its bloodshot mad eye.

>You realize the black stuff you’re hanging on is actually growing out of (or into) the eye socket.

>You silently apologize to it, tighten your grip, and plunge your arm into it’s eye up to your elbow.

>Along with bellowing, this time the creature screams. You realize, like a lot of animals here, this thing was at one time probably capable of verbal communication.

>It starts to thrash around faster, and you push the rest of the way in, as deep as your shoulder.

>Suddenly you feel the trunk wrap around your waist.

>Just the feeling of a tentacle on you makes you piss yourself.

>You scramble around with your hand inside the elephant’s brain and feel something hard.

>You grab on for dear life but the elephant pulls you away and the thing in your grip comes with you.

 

>As it slides out of the eye socket, you realize that it’s the axle of the cart you rode on, and that while you were killing the beast on this side, Fluttershy pushed the axle in from the other side, and it met your hand somewhere in the middle.

>You desperately hope Fluttershy is ok and not about to be smashed under a falling dead elephant as  you realize you are about to be.

>Suddenly you hear a ripping sound and you are being pulled into the air by two ponies wearing body-covering blue suits, a yellow mare and a blue stallion.

>A third has a blade covered in gore and you realize he had cut away the trunk from the creatures falling body.

>It hits the ground with a crash you’re sure you would feel if you had been on the ground.

>The Wonderbolts gently put you down next to a bright red pony, which as you get closer you see is Fluttershy covered in blood.

>With relief you see she’s sad, but physically unharmed, the blood is all the elephant’s.

>Rainbow Dash runs to her and hugs her, heedless of the gore.

>Someone hugs you too, and you see its Twilight.

 

 

>A pony with a fire hydrant cutie mark sprays the gore off of you a few other ponies.

>Standing in the stream of water with you, Twilight tells you the black stuff all over the elephant was some sort of fungal growth.

>It had completely infested the beast, growing into its ears and mouth before completely blanketing it.

>You’re worried the locals would see you as monstrous for killing the elephant, but Twilight and Fluttershy have gotten the word out that it was beyond saving.

>Most of the credit for the kill goes to Fluttershy, and she seems uncomfortable with being known for such a gruesome act. She’s quick to credit you with the plan, and it seems like the ponies start to see you in a guardian position in their small town.

>Right now though, you’re happy enough to be here with Twilight and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, having blood washed off of you and watching a team of earth ponies drag the corpse away for burial.

>Fluttershy mentions she’s like to hold a funeral for the elephant, and you find out the answer to your question earlier.

>Suddenly a shadow falls over you, and ponies around you fall to their knees.

>Even Twilight and her friends face toward you and do an act of obeisance.

>You slowly get up and turn around.

>Looking you in the eye is the biggest pony you’ve ever seen.

>A brilliant white with flowing pink and green mane, decked out in jewelry.

>The first pony you’ve seen to have both the horn of a unicorn and the wings of a pegasis.

>You can feel the power radiate out of her.

>In a voice that seems cheerful and out of place in a pool of watery elephant blood, she speaks.

>”You must be Anonymous.”

>You lower your eyes and drop to one knee before her. You realize you’re in the presence of a deity.

>”I am, and I am pleased to finally meet you, Princess Celestia.”

>Without seeing, you can feel the warmth of her smile.

 

End of Part Three