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Pink Amuck

By: AngryWino on Feb 23rd, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 11.65 KB | hits: 221 | expires: Never

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PINK AMUCK
You see that? That big, flat thing in front of you? That is the legendary “Fourth Wall”. Give it a big hug and a kiss, because it’s about to go bye-bye.
>Pinkie Pie is her usual cheerful self.
>She’s trotting along the main thoroughfare of Ponyville.
>She’s feeling really good today.
>And all that good feeling comes bubbling to the surface...
>Song cue? Song cue.
>”My name is Pinkie Pie,”
>”And I am here to say,”
>”I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your da-a-a-ay!”
>”It doesn’t matter now,”
>”If you are sad or - what the hay?”
>With a rubbery screech, Pinkie Pie comes to a stop and looks around.
>Ponyville is not there.
>Her friends are not there.
>In fact nothing is there.
>She’s standing by herself in the middle of a big white space.
>”Hello? Anyp0ny?”
>As the silence grows ever more awkward, Pinkie Pie looks around.
>”Pssst! Hey! Whoever’s in charge here! How about some scenery?”
*click* File > Open > Backgrounds > Sweet Apple Acres.png *click*
>Pinkie Pie giggles as the barn and farmhouse materialize out of nowhere.
>”Oh, it looks like I’m going to visit Applejack today!”
>She starts to bounce towards the barn, singing another song.
>”Pinkie Pie went to the farm,”
>”Ee-i-ee-i-oh!”
>”And on this farm she saw an igloo,”
>”Ee-i-waitaminute...”
>There is an igloo there.
>Sweet Apple Acres has been replaced by a glacier.
>With an igloo built on it.
>”Wow, somebody sure is being indecisive today.”
>”Fortunately, I have songs and wardrobes for just about any occasion.”
>Pinkie Pie exits, stage right.
>”The new script editor needs to get on the ball. Ride herd on these crazy writers.”
>Pinkie Pie re-enters, wearing her Winter-Wrap-Up outfit, complete with ice skates.
>She starts skating along the glacier, singing a new song.
>”Gone away is the bluebird,”
>”Here to stay is the new bird,”
>”He sings a love song,”
>”As we go along,”
>”Walking on a... tropical... island?”
>Pinkie Pie stops skating on the warm sand and goggles at the lush palm trees and colorful tropical birds.
>She turns around.
>”Really?”
>Tsking softly to herself, Pinkie Pie once more exits stage right.
>She re-enters a moment later wearing a lei and a grass skirt, and playing a ukulele.
/LOL, how do you play a ukulele with hooves?/
>This mare just loves to sing.
>”Aloha Oe,”
>”Aloha Oe,”
>”E ke onaona noho ika lipo,”
>”A fond embrace,”
>”a hoi ae au...”
>She’s all by herself in whitespace again.
>”Hmph. Okay look, can I be serious for a moment?”
/LOL, I dunno, can you?/
>”I know this job can get boring sometimes,”
*click* File > Close > PinkiePie.swf
>”...and there’s a lot of temptation to play around,”
PinkiePie.swf is active. Are you sure you want to close it?
>”But there is such a thing as a deadline, and..”
Yes. *click*
>Pinkie Pie vanishes.
/Hah. Showed you who’s boss./
>”WHAT? How DARE you close my file while I’m TALKING TO YOU!”
The cursor begins to move on its own.
/LOL-wut?/
>”You just don’t know who you’re DEALING with, buster!”
*click* File > Open > PinkiePie.swf *click*
>Pinkie Pie enters stage left.
>She’s pushing her Welcome Wagon ahead of her.
*click*
>Pinkie Pie smacks the large red button on the side of her wagon.
>The wagon trembles and pops open.
>Flags wave while confetti and streamers are hurled into the air.
>And it doesn’t make a single sound.
>Pinkie Pie looks at the silent wagon in wonder, than back out, her expression clearly annoyed.
>She pulls a lever and the Wagon stops jumping about.
>She turns a crank and the wagon closes back in on itself.
>Then she pulls out a sign and holds it up.
>The sign reads, “You’d better turn those speakers back on if you know what’s good for you...”
/Okay. This’ll show her./
*click* Import > Sound Files *click*
*click* Sounds > Un-mute *click*
>With a satisfied grin, Pinkie Pie smacks the large red button on the side of her wagon again.
>The wagon trembles and pops open.
>Flags wave while confetti and streamers are hurled into the air.
>And it makes a sound like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building.
>Pinkie Pie actually jumps in shock at the cacophony.
>She scrambles to the lever and yanks it, silencing the appalling racket.
>She examines the wagon thoughtfully and taps one of the calliope keys experimentally.
>It sounds like a foghorn.
>Pinkie’s temper snaps.
>She rears up and kicks the wagon.
>Applejack would have been proud of that kick.
>The wagon flies off stage right, making a sound like an NHRA funny car with the throttle wide open.
>Somewhere off stage the wagon explodes with a thunderous fart.
>A few bits of debris bounce back onto the stage.
>Pinkie Pie, her temper expended, produces a push broom and sweeps the debris off.
>Dropping the broom, she looks out and opens her mouth to speak.
>A variety of monkey sounds issues forth.
>Pinkie’s eyes go wide and she stuffs both of her fore-hooves into her mouth.
>She tries again.
>An elephant trumpets.
>Looking around uncertainly, Pinkie Pie opens her mouth just the tiniest little bit.
>”Meow.”
>She GLARES out.
>The cursor starts to move on its own again.
*click* Edit > Undo > Sound changes *click*
>”Okay, I’ll tell you what. Let’s just pretend that the last four minutes never happened.”
>”You and I both know what we have to do, so how about some appropriate scenery?”
>She picks up the broom and exits, stage right.
*click* Tools > Pencil *click*
>A crude Ponyville street scene is quickly sketched up.
>Complete with a stick-figure Spike in one corner.
>Pinkie Pie re-enters.
>”Seriously? You call that scenery? Where’s the color?”
*click* Tools > Paintbrush *click*
>”HEY!!!”
>From out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie is suddenly painted to resemble a tie-dyed T-shirt.
>Fuming, Pinkie Pie pulls out a copy of her Model Sheet and waves it around.
>”LOOK at the model sheet, it specifies PINK! PINK, YOU SLOP ARTIST!!!”
*click* Tools > Eraser *click*
>The horrible, retina-searing colors are eradicated, leaving only her eyes and muzzle.
>”There’s a few thing missing here, buster...” she warns.
*click* File > Import > Platypus.swf *click*
>And just like that, there is a pink platypus there.
>Oh, this is just TOO much fun.
>The pink platypus begins to walk.
>Or perhaps waddle would be more appropriate.
>”It’s okay, I understand the need to get it out of your system.”
>”After all, even I play pranks on my best friends.”
>”Except for Fluttershy. She’s so-o-o-o sensitive, after all.”
>”Hey, I feel funny. And not funny-ha-ha. Funny-strange.”
*click* File > Open > Mirror.png *click*
>”Oh, look there’s a...”
>She squints at the mirror.
>”...there’s a...”
>She waves a flipper experimentally and realizes that she is looking at her own reflection.
>”EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!”
>”Is this My Little Platypus? NO! IT’S MY LITTLE PONY!!!”
>The cursor begins to move on its own again.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Just a pair of eyes and a muzzle again.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Tie-dyed Pinkie Pie makes a comeback.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Pinkie Pie is back to normal, but apparently very cross.
>”Alright, enough fooling around already. Let’s get this show STARTED!”
*click* File > Open > ClosingCredits.swf *click*
>Music starts.
>Credits flash by.
>”My Little Pony!”
/Oh look, there’s my name!/
>”My Little Pony!”
>”NO! NO! NO! NO!”
>The credits screen shatters and collapses into a heap of fragments on the stage floor.
>Pinkie Pie is standing there, breathing hard and holding a very large wooden mallet.
>”Okay. I’m the Element of Laughter. I get it.”
>She tosses the mallet aside. It lands with a loud crash, and the music judders to a halt.
>”And I’m REALLY trying to be nice here.”
>”But you just keep pushing me.”
>”Now you’ve forced me to use force.”
>”Like I said earlier, Mister Rembrandt, you just don’t know who you’re DEALING with here.”
>”And all I can say is, I hope you’re prepared to reap the whirlwind.”
>You laugh.
“Yeah. What are you going to do?”
“I’m out here and you’re in there!”
>”Oh, really? You think so?”
>From some dimension only she has access to, Pinkie Pie produces a large pie with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
>”Care to make a bet on that?”
“Sure. I’ll bet that there’s not one thing you can do to me.”
>”Hmmm.”
>Pinkie Pie appears to carefully weigh your words.
>”You lose!”
>There’s the wind-up...
>And the pitch...
***KER-SPLAT!!!***
You are an animator at DHX Studios, in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
And a pink, marshmallow hoof has just emerged from the monitor on your workstation.
Bearing a large pie with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Which you are now wearing.
It tastes like banana cream.
And you’re fairly certain that there is currently a maraschino cherry lodged in your left nostril.
“Nope.”
“That. Did not. Just. Happen.”
In a state of shock, you do the first sensible thing you’ve done all evening.
You turn off your monitor.
You glance at the clock on the wall.
Great googly-moogly, is that the time?
No wonder you’re hallucinating. It’s late as hell.
Long past time to go home.
Confound these deadlines.
They drive you to work yourself into a psychotic break.
That’s the only rational explanation for what you have just experienced.
And you keep telling yourself this as you pull a towel out of your gym bag and clean the pie off your face, discarding the cherry in your waste basket.
Better to go home, clear your head, get some sleep, and finish up in the morning.
“Hey James,”
Your boss, attention fixed on his own monitor, doesn’t seem to hear you.
“Wootie!”
“Hmm?” He looks up, massive dark circles under his eyes.
“I gotta call it a night, man. My brain has gone on strike and the rest of my body is just itching to join the picket line.”
James Wootton glances at the clock above his desk.
Apparently he didn’t realize it was so late either.
He stretches in his chair, rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah, I think I’m gonna pack it in too, dude. See you in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Were you shaving?”
You must still have some banana cream on your face or something.
“No, it’s... never mind. Night.”
You stumble out of the building.
The only other guy here at this hour is the Security Guard.
He lets you out.
You make it to the parking lot and get in your car and drive home.
Thankfully traffic is light at this time of night. You’re exhausted.
You unlock the door to your home and let yourself in.
Closing the door behind you, you turn on the lights.
Pinkie Pie is on your couch.
Not a painting. A pink marshmallow pony is on your couch.
You drop your gym bag in shock.
>”So, I’m in there and you’re out here, right?”
“What?”
She hops off the couch and bounces over to you, grinning like a maniac.
>”So there’s nothing I can do to you, right?”
“What?”
She stops right in front of you.
>”Well, I hope your body is ready, because there are no brakes...”
You swallow in cold fear.
Pinkie Pie produces a small blue artillery piece from nowhere you can identify.
>”ON THE PARTY TRAIN!!!”
She fires the cannon, and suddenly, balloons, confetti and streamers are EVERYWHERE.
And your house is full of dancing technicolor ponies.
You don’t get any sleep that night.
Your neighbors hate you.
TO BE CONTINUED?
With a fond tip of the hat to the legendary Chuck Jones, and his 1953 animated film, “Duck Amuck”.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

PINK AMUCK

You see that?  That big, flat thing in front of you?  That is the legendary “Fourth Wall”.  Give it a big hug and a kiss, because it’s about to go bye-bye.

>Pinkie Pie is her usual cheerful self.
>She’s trotting along the main thoroughfare of Ponyville.
>She’s feeling really good today.
>And all that good feeling comes bubbling to the surface...
>Song cue?  Song cue.
>”My name is Pinkie Pie,”
>”And I am here to say,”
>”I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your da-a-a-ay!”
>”It doesn’t matter now,”
>”If you are sad or - what the hay?”
>With a rubbery screech, Pinkie Pie comes to a stop and looks around.
>Ponyville is not there.
>Her friends are not there.
>In fact nothing is there.
>She’s standing by herself in the middle of a big white space.
>”Hello?  Anyp0ny?”
>As the silence grows ever more awkward, Pinkie Pie looks around.
>”Pssst!  Hey!  Whoever’s in charge here!  How about some scenery?”
*click* File > Open > Backgrounds > Sweet Apple Acres.png *click*
>Pinkie Pie giggles as the barn and farmhouse materialize out of nowhere.
>”Oh, it looks like I’m going to visit Applejack today!”
>She starts to bounce towards the barn, singing another song.
>”Pinkie Pie went to the farm,”
>”Ee-i-ee-i-oh!”
>”And on this farm she saw an igloo,”
>”Ee-i-waitaminute...”
>There is an igloo there.
>Sweet Apple Acres has been replaced by a glacier.
>With an igloo built on it.

>”Wow, somebody sure is being indecisive today.”
>”Fortunately, I have songs and wardrobes for just about any occasion.”
>Pinkie Pie exits, stage right.  
>”The new script editor needs to get on the ball.  Ride herd on these crazy writers.”
>Pinkie Pie re-enters, wearing her Winter-Wrap-Up outfit, complete with ice skates.
>She starts skating along the glacier, singing a new song.
>”Gone away is the bluebird,”
>”Here to stay is the new bird,”
>”He sings a love song,”
>”As we go along,”
>”Walking on a... tropical... island?”
>Pinkie Pie stops skating on the warm sand and goggles at the lush palm trees and colorful tropical birds.
>She turns around.
>”Really?”
>Tsking softly to herself, Pinkie Pie once more exits stage right.
>She re-enters a moment later wearing a lei and a grass skirt, and playing a ukulele.
/LOL, how do you play a ukulele with hooves?/
>This mare just loves to sing.
>”Aloha Oe,”
>”Aloha Oe,”
>”E ke onaona noho ika lipo,”
>”A fond embrace,”
>”a hoi ae au...”
>She’s all by herself in whitespace again.

>”Hmph.  Okay look, can I be serious for a moment?”
/LOL, I dunno, can you?/
>”I know this job can get boring sometimes,”
*click* File > Close > PinkiePie.swf
>”...and there’s a lot of temptation to play around,”
PinkiePie.swf is active.  Are you sure you want to close it?
>”But there is such a thing as a deadline, and..”
Yes.  *click*
>Pinkie Pie vanishes.
/Hah.  Showed you who’s boss./
>”WHAT?  How DARE you close my file while I’m TALKING TO YOU!”
The cursor begins to move on its own.
/LOL-wut?/
>”You just don’t know who you’re DEALING with, buster!”
*click* File > Open > PinkiePie.swf *click*
>Pinkie Pie enters stage left.
>She’s pushing her Welcome Wagon ahead of her.
*click*
>Pinkie Pie smacks the large red button on the side of her wagon.
>The wagon trembles and pops open.
>Flags wave while confetti and streamers are hurled into the air.
>And it doesn’t make a single sound.
>Pinkie Pie looks at the silent wagon in wonder, than back out, her expression clearly annoyed.  
>She pulls a lever and the Wagon stops jumping about.
>She turns a crank and the wagon closes back in on itself.
>Then she pulls out a sign and holds it up.
>The sign reads, “You’d better turn those speakers back on if you know what’s good for you...”

/Okay.  This’ll show her./
*click* Import > Sound Files *click*
*click* Sounds > Un-mute *click*
>With a satisfied grin, Pinkie Pie smacks the large red button on the side of her wagon again.
>The wagon trembles and pops open.
>Flags wave while confetti and streamers are hurled into the air.
>And it makes a sound like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building.
>Pinkie Pie actually jumps in shock at the cacophony.
>She scrambles to the lever and yanks it, silencing the appalling racket.
>She examines the wagon thoughtfully and taps one of the calliope keys experimentally.
>It sounds like a foghorn.
>Pinkie’s temper snaps.
>She rears up and kicks the wagon.
>Applejack would have been proud of that kick.
>The wagon flies off stage right, making a sound like an NHRA funny car with the throttle wide open.
>Somewhere off stage the wagon explodes with a thunderous fart.
>A few bits of debris bounce back onto the stage.
>Pinkie Pie, her temper expended, produces a push broom and sweeps the debris off.
>Dropping the broom, she looks out and opens her mouth to speak.
>A variety of monkey sounds issues forth.
>Pinkie’s eyes go wide and she stuffs both of her fore-hooves into her mouth.
>She tries again.
>An elephant trumpets.

>Looking around uncertainly, Pinkie Pie opens her mouth just the tiniest little bit.
>”Meow.”
>She GLARES out.
>The cursor starts to move on its own again.
*click* Edit > Undo > Sound changes *click*
>”Okay, I’ll tell you what.  Let’s just pretend that the last four minutes never happened.”
>”You and I both know what we have to do, so how about some appropriate scenery?”
>She picks up the broom and exits, stage right.
*click* Tools > Pencil *click*
>A crude Ponyville street scene is quickly sketched up.
>Complete with a stick-figure Spike in one corner.
>Pinkie Pie re-enters.
>”Seriously?  You call that scenery?  Where’s the color?”
*click* Tools > Paintbrush *click*
>”HEY!!!”
>From out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie is suddenly painted to resemble a tie-dyed T-shirt.
>Fuming, Pinkie Pie pulls out a copy of her Model Sheet and waves it around.
>”LOOK at the model sheet, it specifies PINK!  PINK, YOU SLOP ARTIST!!!”
*click* Tools > Eraser *click*
>The horrible, retina-searing colors are eradicated, leaving only her eyes and muzzle.
>”There’s a few thing missing here, buster...” she warns.
*click* File > Import > Platypus.swf *click*
>And just like that, there is a pink platypus there.
>Oh, this is just TOO much fun.

>The pink platypus begins to walk.
>Or perhaps waddle would be more appropriate.
>”It’s okay, I understand the need to get it out of your system.”
>”After all, even I play pranks on my best friends.”
>”Except for Fluttershy.  She’s so-o-o-o sensitive, after all.”
>”Hey, I feel funny.  And not funny-ha-ha.  Funny-strange.”
*click* File > Open > Mirror.png *click*
>”Oh, look there’s a...”
>She squints at the mirror.
>”...there’s a...”
>She waves a flipper experimentally and realizes that she is looking at her own reflection.
>”EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!”
>”Is this My Little Platypus?  NO!  IT’S MY LITTLE PONY!!!”
>The cursor begins to move on its own again.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Just a pair of eyes and a muzzle again.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Tie-dyed Pinkie Pie makes a comeback.
*click* Edit > Undo *click*
>Pinkie Pie is back to normal, but apparently very cross.
>”Alright, enough fooling around already.  Let’s get this show STARTED!”
*click* File > Open > ClosingCredits.swf *click*
>Music starts.
>Credits flash by.
>”My Little Pony!”
/Oh look, there’s my name!/
>”My Little Pony!”

>”NO!  NO!  NO! NO!”
>The credits screen shatters and collapses into a heap of fragments on the stage floor.
>Pinkie Pie is standing there, breathing hard and holding a very large wooden mallet.
>”Okay.  I’m the Element of Laughter.  I get it.”
>She tosses the mallet aside.  It lands with a loud crash, and the music judders to a halt.
>”And I’m REALLY trying to be nice here.”
>”But you just keep pushing me.”
>”Now you’ve forced me to use force.”
>”Like I said earlier, Mister Rembrandt, you just don’t know who you’re DEALING with here.”
>”And all I can say is, I hope you’re prepared to reap the whirlwind.”
>You laugh.
“Yeah.  What are you going to do?”
“I’m out here and you’re in there!”
>”Oh, really?  You think so?”
>From some dimension only she has access to, Pinkie Pie produces a large pie with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
>”Care to make a bet on that?”
“Sure.  I’ll bet that there’s not one thing you can do to me.”
>”Hmmm.”
>Pinkie Pie appears to carefully weigh your words.
>”You lose!”
>There’s the wind-up...
>And the pitch...
***KER-SPLAT!!!***

You are an animator at DHX Studios, in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
And a pink, marshmallow hoof has just emerged from the monitor on your workstation.
Bearing a large pie with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Which you are now wearing.
It tastes like banana cream.
And you’re fairly certain that there is currently a maraschino cherry lodged in your left nostril.
“Nope.”
“That.  Did not.  Just.  Happen.”
In a state of shock, you do the first sensible thing you’ve done all evening.
You turn off your monitor.
You glance at the clock on the wall.
Great googly-moogly, is that the time?
No wonder you’re hallucinating.  It’s late as hell.
Long past time to go home.
Confound these deadlines.
They drive you to work yourself into a psychotic break.
That’s the only rational explanation for what you have just experienced.
And you keep telling yourself this as you pull a towel out of your gym bag and clean the pie off your face, discarding the cherry in your waste basket.
Better to go home, clear your head, get some sleep, and finish up in the morning.
“Hey James,”
Your boss, attention fixed on his own monitor, doesn’t seem to hear you.
“Wootie!”
“Hmm?”  He looks up, massive dark circles under his eyes.
“I gotta call it a night, man.  My brain has gone on strike and the rest of my body is just itching to join the picket line.”

James Wootton glances at the clock above his desk.
Apparently he didn’t realize it was so late either.
He stretches in his chair, rubbing his eyes.
“Yeah, I think I’m gonna pack it in too, dude.  See you in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Were you shaving?”
You must still have some banana cream on your face or something.
“No, it’s... never mind.  Night.”
You stumble out of the building.  
The only other guy here at this hour is the Security Guard.
He lets you out.
You make it to the parking lot and get in your car and drive home.
Thankfully traffic is light at this time of night.  You’re exhausted.
You unlock the door to your home and let yourself in.
Closing the door behind you, you turn on the lights.
Pinkie Pie is on your couch.
Not a painting.  A pink marshmallow pony is on your couch.
You drop your gym bag in shock.
>”So, I’m in there and you’re out here, right?”
“What?”
She hops off the couch and bounces over to you, grinning like a maniac.
>”So there’s nothing I can do to you, right?”
“What?”
She stops right in front of you.
>”Well, I hope your body is ready, because there are no brakes...”
You swallow in cold fear.
Pinkie Pie produces a small blue artillery piece from nowhere you can identify.
>”ON THE PARTY TRAIN!!!”
She fires the cannon, and suddenly, balloons, confetti and streamers are EVERYWHERE.
And your house is full of dancing technicolor ponies.
You don’t get any sleep that night.
Your neighbors hate you.

TO BE CONTINUED?


With a fond tip of the hat to the legendary Chuck Jones, and his 1953 animated film, “Duck Amuck”.

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