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Friendship Report: chapter 2

By: An_Irish_Nomad on Sep 2nd, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 9.48 KB | hits: 349 | expires: Never

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>You open the door to your new house, sighing.
>That ride here had been… unpleasant.
>And by unpleasant, you mean that you threw up several times over the side of the chariot.
>Well, at least you hadn’t had to ask any p0nies where your house was in your uncomfortable state.
>Your train of thought is interrupted as a large rodent cuts in front of you, scurrying from one hole in the wall to another.
“Little bastard!” you yell in surprise, bringing a foot down and missing the rat by centimetres.
>So you have a rodent infestation. Off to a flying start already.
>You shake your head and make your way upstairs, exploring your new residence.
>It had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a storage cupboard and an attic. Not nearly as fancy as the palace in which you spent most of your childhood, but it’ll do.
>You throw your bags onto the bed; dig out the plain purse which held the necessary funds to set up your new life and head straight back down the stairs.
>First things first, you were going to have to get in touch with someone who was good with animals. Celestia had told you to go visit her student, Twilight Sparkle, if you needed help with anything.
>One short stroll later, with complimentary odd stares from various ponies, and you’re outside Twilight’s house. It wasn’t particular hard to find: the description, “library inside a tree” wouldn’t apply to many buildings.
>A small reptile answers the door.
>”Uh, can I help you, Sir?”
“Why yes. Is Twilight here? If so, may I speak with her?”
>”Twilight! There’s someone here to see you!”
>”Well let him in!” called a voice from inside.
>The reptile stands aside and you enter the library, the musty, yet pleasant odour of books hitting you immediately.
>”I’ll be just a minute!” yelled Twilight from above.
“So… who are you?”
>”Er, I’m Spike, Twilight’s number one assistant!”
“Heh, I’m sure you are. Does Twilight make you work hard?”
>”No, I don’t. And that’s not a question you should be asking.”
>You turn round to face Twilight as she walks down the staircase.
“Hello Ms Sparkle.”
>Twilight ignores you, and instead turns to Spike.
>”Spike sweetie, can you do me a favour and run along to Rarity’s? I need some more... er, cloth, for my book covers.”
>”I’m on it!” Spike gives a comical salute and runs out the door, leaving you and Twilight alone.
>”So, you’re Anon.”
“Indeed I am. I take it Celestia gave you advanced warning of my arrival?”
>”She did… so, how close are you and her?”
“I beg your pardon?”
>”I said, how close are the two of you?”
“Celestia never told you? I suppose there never was reason… She’s like a mother to me. She was the one who found me, and raised me from when I was a child. So yeah, we’re pretty close. It was her who recommended that I come to P0nyville to make friends-“
>”She sent you here, to make friends?”
“Yes. She also asked that I send weekly friendship reports-“
>Twilight glares at you with sudden venom, and you gulp.
“Y-y’know, Celestia called you her protégée. I guess you’re really g-good with magic, huh…?”
>Twilight continues to glare at you. “Is there a reason you are in my house?”
“Well, I um… I was just wondering… who around here is good with animals?”
>”Fluttershy.”
“And where-“
>”Everfree Forest.”
“Er, tha-“
>”Out.”
“S-sure!”
>You quickly leave the library, feeling Twilight’s stare on your back as you walked quickly.
>That could certainly have gone better. What did you do to piss her off?
>You rack your brain. You hadn’t insulted her, right?
>While you think you accidentally bump into a passing stallion with a boxing glove cutie mark.
>”Watch it asshole!”
>Even though you towered over him, a sickly feeling rises through your chest.
“I’m so sorry, Ill watch where I’m going in future.”
>”You better!” the stallion spits, and you side step him.
>This is just peachy. Celestia sent you here to make friends, not enemies…
>You follow the signs out towards the forest and in no time, you’ve reached a cottage of some sorts. Logic dictates that it’s probably Fluttershy’s, given the cacophony of animal noises emanating from inside and outside.
>You nervously rap on the door and await a response. Hopefully this would go better than Twilight’s did…
>A pink-maned p0ny answers the door and cringes at the sight of you.
>”Um, is there a problem?” she whispers.
“You must be Fluttershy, right?”
>The pegasus cringes, and nods reluctantly.
“Pleased to meet you Fluttershy. Your friend Twilight sent me over on the grounds that you’re the local animal expert.”
>”What do you need me for?”
“I just moved here to P0nyville, but my house is um, rat infested.”
>”So?”
“So? So… can you get rid of the rats?”
>”But why would you get rid of rats? They need a home as well, you know.”
>This fucking mare…
“Yeah, but I’d rather not have that be my home as well. Please? I’ll pay you, I have bits!”
>You pull out the sack of bits and Fluttershy’s eyes widen.
>”I suppose… the rats can find somewhere else to live…”
“Oh thank you, I really appreciate this.”
>”Well um, will you lead me to your house?”
“Sure, just follow me!”
>You lead Fluttershy back to your house, all attempts at idle conversation leading into whispers from Fluttershy.
>At least she lived up to her name.
>As Fluttershy examines the various holes the rats had made for themselves, you rummage through the house for a bag.
“So, how do you plan on getting rid of the rats?”
>”I’m going to… I’m going to sing to them.”
>…
“I’m not going to question your methods. Just lead them outside once you’ve got them all, ok?”
>Fluttershy nods and you exit the house, bag in tow.
>You could faintly hear a gentle voice cooing and coaxing. Fluttershy is probably a great singer. Not exactly a crowd pleaser though…
>A few minutes later, Fluttershy exits the house, and you see 12 small rodents scamper behind her.
>Your stomach turns at the sight of them. How absolutely disgusting.
“All right Fluttershy, just lead them into this sack here.” You pat the heavy brown bag as she approaches.
>”But… why do you need the sack?” she asks hesitantly.
“To get rid of the rats, of course.”
>”But I just got rid of them, I don’t understand?”
“By get rid of them, I mean I’m going to get “rid” of them. Pests go in the sack; sack goes in river, what’s not to understand?”
>Fluttershy’s mouth drops open. “You mean you’re going to kill them?”
“Of course, what did you think I was going to do? Put them up for adoption?”
>”You… you monster!”
>…
>Oh shit, this isn’t good.
>Fluttershy bares her teeth in anger and begins to march over to you.
>”How could you kill defenceless little creatures like that?”
“I-“
>”How dare you involve me in such a sick plan?”
“W-“
>”What gives you the right to kill these poor things? They’ve lived in P0nyville longer than you have!”
>You trip backwards and Fluttershy jumps on your chest, winding you. You stare up at her, utterly terrified.
>”Maybe we should put you in the sack and toss you in the river. How’d you like that, eh?”
“L-listen, I’m sorry-“
>”Being sorry isn’t good enough.” Fluttershy suddenly jumps off you, and walks back to the watching rodents as you rub your now sore chest.
>”Come on my dearies, you can stay with me. I don’t want you anywhere near this… monster!”
>Fluttershy walks off with the rats in tow and you climb to your unsteady feet.
>What the hell just happened?
>You barely have time to think before a pink explosion blinds your eyes.
“WHAT THE FUCKING FU-“
>”Come on silly billy, there’s no reason to use that language! Even though you’re not a goat, and you’re name isn’t billy. Or is it, I don’t know! My name’s Pinkie Pie, by the way, where are my manners?”
“I… my name is Anon.”
>The pink earth p0ny squeals. “Ooh, Anon! That’s a cool name! Sounds like the name you’d give to a super duper secret society! You’re not in a secret society, are you? If you are, can I join? Pretty please?”
“W-what? Look, can we just rewind a minute? So you’re Pinkie Pie, right?”
>”The one and only! I heard that there was a new p0ny in town that wasn’t a p0ny at all, and I just had to go and meet him. Or her. You’re not a “her”, right? Oh, I know we’re going to be the very best of friends!”
“I… um… well, it’s very nice to meet you Pinkie Pie…”
>”I’m sure it is! Oh, I have a great idea! Instead of my traditional Pinkie Pie P0nyville welcome, you can come over to sugarcube corner and bake with me! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
“It does, actually. I’ll pop round..."
>You quickly check the time on your watch. Just gone past one O'Clock.
"Er, how does 3PM sound? I just need... a quick lie down..."
>”Okie dokie lokie! Pinkie promise that you’ll come round!”
“Pinkie… promise?”
>”Yeah! It shows that you’re super duper super serious about something.”
“Sure then, I “pinkie promise”.
>Pinkie Pie squeals in delight. “We’re going to have so much fun! See you later, alligator! Did you know that I actually have an alligator? His name is…”
>You block out Pinkie’s rambling and head into your house, dragging yourself up the stairs. You collapse onto the bed, and fall asleep within seconds…
“Just… a seconds… rest…” you murmur.

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>You open the door to your new house, sighing.
>That ride here had been… unpleasant. 
>And by unpleasant, you mean that you threw up several times over the side of the chariot.
>Well, at least you hadn’t had to ask any p0nies where your house was in your uncomfortable state.
>Your train of thought is interrupted as a large rodent cuts in front of you, scurrying from one hole in the wall to another.
“Little bastard!” you yell in surprise, bringing a foot down and missing the rat by centimetres.
>So you have a rodent infestation. Off to a flying start already.
>You shake your head and make your way upstairs, exploring your new residence. 
>It had two bedrooms, a bathroom, a storage cupboard and an attic. Not nearly as fancy as the palace in which you spent most of your childhood, but it’ll do.
>You throw your bags onto the bed; dig out the plain purse which held the necessary funds to set up your new life and head straight back down the stairs. 
>First things first, you were going to have to get in touch with someone who was good with animals. Celestia had told you to go visit her student, Twilight Sparkle, if you needed help with anything.
>One short stroll later, with complimentary odd stares from various ponies, and you’re outside Twilight’s house. It wasn’t particular hard to find: the description, “library inside a tree” wouldn’t apply to many buildings.
>A small reptile answers the door.
>”Uh, can I help you, Sir?”
“Why yes. Is Twilight here? If so, may I speak with her?”
>”Twilight! There’s someone here to see you!”
>”Well let him in!” called a voice from inside.
>The reptile stands aside and you enter the library, the musty, yet pleasant odour of books hitting you immediately. 
>”I’ll be just a minute!” yelled Twilight from above.
“So… who are you?”
>”Er, I’m Spike, Twilight’s number one assistant!”
“Heh, I’m sure you are. Does Twilight make you work hard?”
>”No, I don’t. And that’s not a question you should be asking.”
>You turn round to face Twilight as she walks down the staircase.
“Hello Ms Sparkle.” 
>Twilight ignores you, and instead turns to Spike.
>”Spike sweetie, can you do me a favour and run along to Rarity’s? I need some more... er, cloth, for my book covers.”
>”I’m on it!” Spike gives a comical salute and runs out the door, leaving you and Twilight alone.
>”So, you’re Anon.”
“Indeed I am. I take it Celestia gave you advanced warning of my arrival?” 
>”She did… so, how close are you and her?”
“I beg your pardon?”
>”I said, how close are the two of you?”
“Celestia never told you? I suppose there never was reason… She’s like a mother to me. She was the one who found me, and raised me from when I was a child. So yeah, we’re pretty close. It was her who recommended that I come to P0nyville to make friends-“
>”She sent you here, to make friends?”
“Yes. She also asked that I send weekly friendship reports-“
>Twilight glares at you with sudden venom, and you gulp.
“Y-y’know, Celestia called you her protégée. I guess you’re really g-good with magic, huh…?”
>Twilight continues to glare at you. “Is there a reason you are in my house?”
“Well, I um… I was just wondering… who around here is good with animals?”
>”Fluttershy.”
“And where-“
>”Everfree Forest.”
“Er, tha-“
>”Out.”
“S-sure!”
>You quickly leave the library, feeling Twilight’s stare on your back as you walked quickly.
>That could certainly have gone better. What did you do to piss her off? 
>You rack your brain. You hadn’t insulted her, right? 
>While you think you accidentally bump into a passing stallion with a boxing glove cutie mark.
>”Watch it asshole!”
>Even though you towered over him, a sickly feeling rises through your chest.
“I’m so sorry, Ill watch where I’m going in future.”
>”You better!” the stallion spits, and you side step him.
>This is just peachy. Celestia sent you here to make friends, not enemies…
>You follow the signs out towards the forest and in no time, you’ve reached a cottage of some sorts. Logic dictates that it’s probably Fluttershy’s, given the cacophony of animal noises emanating from inside and outside. 
>You nervously rap on the door and await a response. Hopefully this would go better than Twilight’s did…
>A pink-maned p0ny answers the door and cringes at the sight of you.
>”Um, is there a problem?” she whispers.
“You must be Fluttershy, right?”
>The pegasus cringes, and nods reluctantly. 
“Pleased to meet you Fluttershy. Your friend Twilight sent me over on the grounds that you’re the local animal expert.”
>”What do you need me for?”
“I just moved here to P0nyville, but my house is um, rat infested.”
>”So?”
“So? So… can you get rid of the rats?”
>”But why would you get rid of rats? They need a home as well, you know.”
>This fucking mare…
“Yeah, but I’d rather not have that be my home as well. Please? I’ll pay you, I have bits!”
>You pull out the sack of bits and Fluttershy’s eyes widen.
>”I suppose… the rats can find somewhere else to live…”
“Oh thank you, I really appreciate this.”
>”Well um, will you lead me to your house?”
“Sure, just follow me!”

>You lead Fluttershy back to your house, all attempts at idle conversation leading into whispers from Fluttershy.
>At least she lived up to her name.
>As Fluttershy examines the various holes the rats had made for themselves, you rummage through the house for a bag. 
“So, how do you plan on getting rid of the rats?”
>”I’m going to… I’m going to sing to them.”
>…
“I’m not going to question your methods. Just lead them outside once you’ve got them all, ok?”
>Fluttershy nods and you exit the house, bag in tow.
>You could faintly hear a gentle voice cooing and coaxing. Fluttershy is probably a great singer. Not exactly a crowd pleaser though…
>A few minutes later, Fluttershy exits the house, and you see 12 small rodents scamper behind her.
>Your stomach turns at the sight of them. How absolutely disgusting.
“All right Fluttershy, just lead them into this sack here.” You pat the heavy brown bag as she approaches.
>”But… why do you need the sack?” she asks hesitantly.
“To get rid of the rats, of course.”
>”But I just got rid of them, I don’t understand?”
“By get rid of them, I mean I’m going to get “rid” of them. Pests go in the sack; sack goes in river, what’s not to understand?” 
>Fluttershy’s mouth drops open. “You mean you’re going to kill them?”
“Of course, what did you think I was going to do? Put them up for adoption?”
>”You… you monster!”
>…
>Oh shit, this isn’t good.
>Fluttershy bares her teeth in anger and begins to march over to you. 
>”How could you kill defenceless little creatures like that?”
“I-“
>”How dare you involve me in such a sick plan?”
“W-“
>”What gives you the right to kill these poor things? They’ve lived in P0nyville longer than you have!”
>You trip backwards and Fluttershy jumps on your chest, winding you. You stare up at her, utterly terrified. 
>”Maybe we should put you in the sack and toss you in the river. How’d you like that, eh?”
“L-listen, I’m sorry-“
>”Being sorry isn’t good enough.” Fluttershy suddenly jumps off you, and walks back to the watching rodents as you rub your now sore chest.
>”Come on my dearies, you can stay with me. I don’t want you anywhere near this… monster!”
>Fluttershy walks off with the rats in tow and you climb to your unsteady feet.
>What the hell just happened?
>You barely have time to think before a pink explosion blinds your eyes.
“WHAT THE FUCKING FU-“
>”Come on silly billy, there’s no reason to use that language! Even though you’re not a goat, and you’re name isn’t billy. Or is it, I don’t know! My name’s Pinkie Pie, by the way, where are my manners?”
“I… my name is Anon.”
>The pink earth p0ny squeals. “Ooh, Anon! That’s a cool name! Sounds like the name you’d give to a super duper secret society! You’re not in a secret society, are you? If you are, can I join? Pretty please?”
“W-what? Look, can we just rewind a minute? So you’re Pinkie Pie, right?”
>”The one and only! I heard that there was a new p0ny in town that wasn’t a p0ny at all, and I just had to go and meet him. Or her. You’re not a “her”, right? Oh, I know we’re going to be the very best of friends!”
“I… um… well, it’s very nice to meet you Pinkie Pie…”
>”I’m sure it is! Oh, I have a great idea! Instead of my traditional Pinkie Pie P0nyville welcome, you can come over to sugarcube corner and bake with me! Doesn’t that sound fun?”
“It does, actually. I’ll pop round..."
>You quickly check the time on your watch. Just gone past one O'Clock.
"Er, how does 3PM sound? I just need... a quick lie down..."
>”Okie dokie lokie! Pinkie promise that you’ll come round!”
“Pinkie… promise?”
>”Yeah! It shows that you’re super duper super serious about something.”
“Sure then, I “pinkie promise”. 
>Pinkie Pie squeals in delight. “We’re going to have so much fun! See you later, alligator! Did you know that I actually have an alligator? His name is…”
>You block out Pinkie’s rambling and head into your house, dragging yourself up the stairs. You collapse onto the bed, and fall asleep within seconds…
“Just… a seconds… rest…” you murmur.

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