Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the search for Anonymous' body CH6

>You sit impatiently as Twilight scrutinises you with various magical tools, the evening dragging on painfully slowly.

“I say Twilight, would you be a dear and hurry up already?”

>”I can’t just hurry this up! This is important magical experimentation!” she exclaims, pointing towards a large machine with various dials and fluctuating needles adorned on it. ”I mean, look at the reading I’m getting! Almost 7!”

“Seven what?”

>”I don’t even know, but it must be important!”

>Your moans of despair reverberate around the house, rousing Rarity from the gentle slumber she had fallen into.

>”Huh, what? What is the matter?” she inquires sleepily. “Twilight isn’t hurting you now, is she?”

“I wish she was, it might just break the monotony…” you grumble, before a spark of magic strikes your skull. “Ow! That rather hurt!”

>”It was for the greater good. Now, just a few more readings, and…” Twilight says, tensing in anticipation. “There we go! According to the readings, which I’m pretending I can understand, you happen to be suffering from a really bad case of skeletonitis!”

“Oh good, it must have taken several medical degrees to reach that conclusion! What’s next, you’re going to tell me the sky is blue!”

>”But darling…” Rarity says, her face stony and serious. “The sky was always blue.”

“MY LIFE IS A LIE!” you scream, leaning over the back of the chair in exaggerated dramatics. “CRUEL GOD, WHY DID THOU FORSAKE ME IN THS LAND OF TINY, ADORABLE HORSES?”

>”Anonymous! Mind your language!” Rarity exclaims, trying in vain to suppress a giggle. “I will not stand for being slandered in such a way!”

>”Both of you wise up, I actually have a serious topic to discuss!” Twilight chuckles, and you and Rarity share a final giggle.

“Fine, fine… wait, serious topic? That’s rather foreboding.”

>”Yes darling, it is. What problem has arisen, Twilight? Is Anon… going to die?”

>Twilight shakes her head as you glare at Rarity.

“I’m having a sudden precognition… I can see… a certain white unicorn… with a tussled mane!”

>”Oh Anon, I would highly recommend straying from that plan. I may be a lady but even ladies must defend their manes!”

>”Anon. Rarity.”

>The two of you reluctantly turn back to Twilight, whose face was the embodiment of seriousness.

“Fine, I’m done messing around.”

>”Good…” Twilight says, levitating over an impressively long scroll with a garbled trail of letters and numbers down it. “Here are the results of your mental analysis-“

“You gave me a psychiatric evaluation? How on earth did you do that?”

>”My tools are very sensitive, and, um… magical?”

“My point stands: I don’t have a brain for you to scan in the first place!”

>”It’s magic, I don’t have to explain anything!” Twilight retorts, before shaking her head in frustration. ”Look, you’re suffering from a rather peculiar condition…”

>Twilight’s statement banishes any humorous urges you had at that moment, and you lean forward in your seat.

“I beg your pardon…?”

>”According to this” she says, her hoof indicating to a particular point of interest on the scroll. “You’ve been having some serious dreams while you slumbered in my attic, Anon.”

>”Pardon my interruption, but what does a dream-inclined mind have to do with mental discrepancies?” Rarity says, her voice laden with concern.

>”Well Rarity, the problem…” Twilight says, before coughing. “Anon may be experiencing some slight… well, delusions.”

“Delusions? I don’t quite follow you…”

>”Let’s get to the root of this. Can you retell me the events leading to your body ending up in the Everfree?”

“I died in my own world, ended up in Equestria… the north, I think. I assumed myself to be still alive, but soon the flesh fell from my body like a worn out jacket… I wandered here and there, over the centuries, and-“

>”See, there’s already a contradiction in your story.” Twilight says, a strange and sad smile twitching at the corner of her mouth.

>”Twilight! Are you accusing Anon to be lying to us?” Rarity yells, her composure broken.

>”Not at all Rarity, and if you’ll let me explain, I think we can get to the bottom of this mystery.” She exclaims with confidence.

“I… I’ll trust you to be telling the truth, Twilight. What part of my story is flagging red?”

>”It’s simple, obvious and yet I bet it’s never once occurred to your mind, has it?”

“I’m not here to play Sherlock, Twilight.”

>”Your bones!” she yells, rapping her hoof on your skull. “Ever stopped to smell the roses and admire your skeletal structure?”

“Smelling is rather difficult since my nose made like a thief and disappeared off my face, but I understand what you’re saying. And no.”

>”Well, if you had ever stopped to think things through…” she says, levitating your right arm up. “You’d see that the state of your body, or what’s left of it, simply can’t match up with your story! If you had been wandering Equestria for hundreds of years, then surely time and the climate would have weathered your bones!”

“And… and they haven’t…” you muse, staring blankly at your raised arm.

>”You’re right Twilight!” Rarity agrees, her eyes widening. “Even generously allowing for the cave to have preserved your bones, there’s no rhyme or reason to their perfect condition!”

>”And you claim you came from the North, Anon. Can you tell me what town you came from up there?”

“Uh, I think it was… Fillydelphia!”

>Rarity gasps. “Fillydelphia is on the west coast!”

>Twilight grins in victory. “Exactly.”

“I… I don’t know what to say…” You struggle for words. “How… why has this happened? I had never thought my own memory would turn against me…”

>Rarity comes over to you and embraces you awkwardly, and you reluctantly return the hug.

>”I have a theory as to why that big ol’ empty skull of yours is acting haywire.” Twilight says. “And there’s a reason why I put emphasis on your dreams…”

“You’re saying my dreams have imposed on my true memories?” you ask with a choked voice.

>”Bingo.”

“But… why would that have happened?”

>”Don’t mistake me for a qualified psychiatrist, but I think your prolonged sleep in that box may have addled your memory.”

“When my mother warned me about sleeping too much, I didn’t think a mental breakdown was part of the risk…”

>”Don’t be silly! Aside from your memory, the rest of your faculties seem to be in perfectly working condition…”

“Well, that’s one silver lining, at least. Say, if my body isn’t hundreds of years old… well, how long have I actually been here?”

>”Judging from the very faint environmental exposure the medical thingy picked up on, I’d say… two years of being a skeleton, maybe?”

“Two years… huh.”

>”Are you alright, dear?” Rarity asks concernedly.

“I’m fine… this is all just a bit much, you know?”

>Twilight joins your side as well, offering a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about this, Anonymous. I know just the pony to get in touch with… and I think she planned this moment in advance.”

>You ponder her words for a moment, before its implications hit you.

“Planned in advance? What the fu… no, let’s not get riled up.” You take a moment to pause, claiming yourself down, before letting Twilight continue. “Please, continue.”

>”does the name ‘Princess Celestia’ mean anything to you?”

“She’s that one pony, damn it I should know this… oh yeah! The whole ‘raising the sun’ and stuff!”

>”Yeah, ‘that’ Princess Celestia…” Twilight giggles. “Anyway, she was the one who originally sent me your skull.”

“Of course…”

>”She didn’t mention any unusual properties about it, but something didn’t seem quite right about it. That, and ponies rarely give skulls with sealed letters and strict instructions not to open it unless something weird happens unless weird things were bound to happen! Right…?”

>”Er, of course darling.” Rarity says hesitantly, before clearing her throat. “Let’s not get caught up on ourselves, do you still have the note?’ It might prove useful to us.”

>”Sure, let me just root around for it!” Twilight says enthusiastically, before turning to the bookshelf. “Just give me a minute to find it!”

>While Twilight scours the dauntingly vast bookshelf for the key to your story, you and Rarity share a moment of quietness.

“Well, I certainly never saw this coming…” you mutter.

>”I don’t think Pinkie herself could have predicted this…” Rarity replies.

“Well, at least a weight has been lifted off my non-existent chest. Any idea as to why the Princess would be embroiled in this tangible mess?”

>”I wouldn’t really, no. I don’t think you should have a reason to be unnerved though. I’ve never met a pony who was more understanding than Celestia.”

“Well, that’s good to hear straight from the horses… ok fine, I won’t make that joke!”

>Rarity rolls her eyes in mock frustration, and you stifle a chuckle.

“Say Twilight, how goes the search progress?”

>”Search progress…? Oh, I found the letter ages ago!” she exclaims, levitating a sealed brown envelope over to you. “I just took the moment to organise my bookshelf!”

>If looks could kill, Twilight would have earned herself a one way ticket to the afterlife.

>With a sigh, you fold the letter over, examining it for any lettering.

>”Do you have x-ray vision Anonymous, or are you just admiring the envelope?” Rarity quips, much to chagrin.

“I get the hint, I’ll open it…”

>You grasp the tip of the envelope and pull, the brown paper tearing easily.

“A note. Who would have thought… don’t answer that question.”

>You unfold the note, and begin reading. What answers would this mysterious message entail to you?

“To my most faithful student,” you read out, grabbing Twilight’s attention. “If you are reading this, then I can assume that Anonymous has awakened. I am entrusting you to provide the help he will no doubt require at this moment. He may come off as horrifying in presence, but I would like to think that you’ve put petty prejudice behind you. His body will be in the Everfree forest, but Anonymous is an unusual one. He’ll know where to find it, of that I can guarantee. Once he is whole again, bring him to me. I’m sure he’ll have a lot questions to ask, and to be answered.”

>You turn the letter over, and discover it is blank.

“That’s it…”

>”Well, isn’t that something.”

“It sure is Rarity, it sure is…”

>Twilight, sporting a strange smile, levitates over a sheet of parchment and a quill, and quickly jots down a letter.

>”We’ll have to head to Canterlot immediately! I’ll send an advance letter, and let Celestia know that we’re coming.”

>A purple aura of magic surrounds the letter and in an instant, it disappears.

>”Say, Twilight. Don’t you normally use Spike to deliver letters to the Princess?” Rarity asks.

“I do, but I’d rather not go fetch him right now, not with Anon here.”

>Not five seconds after the letter was sent, a new one materialises in front of Twilight, and she quickly reads it.

>”Come immediately. Bring Anonymous and the others.”

>A second letter flashes into existence, and Twilight jumps in surprise, before opening it as well.

>”On second thoughts, just bring yourself and Anonymous.”

>A third letter suddenly joins the fray, as Twilight groans.

>”Actually, do what you want. Also, watch out for the guards, as I can’t guarantee that they’ll take Anonymous’ presence well. Good luck!”

 >Twilight braces for another letter, and when one fails to materialise she sighs in relief.

>”Ok! Anon, Rarity, let’s get going!”

“Yeah! Let’s gallivant into the centre of the populated town! I’m sure nothing bag will come of this!”

>”If you’re going to act like a little filly, then fine.”

>Twilight’s horn glows, before a blast of magic surrounds you, and you suddenly feel very distant and disjointed.

“What did you just do?” you enquire.

>”It’s a basic invisibility spell, silly. Just stay clam and everything will be fine.”

“I’ll take your word for it…” you say hesitantly, before giving Rarity a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “And hey, you seemed adamant about the Princess. This is going to go well, of that I’m sure.”