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Asshole in Equestria: Part 4

By: An_Irish_Nomad on Aug 18th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 12.34 KB | hits: 470 | expires: Never

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>You awaken to a blue pegasus staring you in the face.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
>”I have something to tell you.”
“Well that’s neat and dandy, but you don’t have to go and ruin my morning from the get-go.”
>”Do you want to hear it or not?”
“Well, if it’ll make you leave faster, then spill it.”
>”I asked Pinkie Pie to hold a welcome back party for you and Gilda.”
“That’s funny; I don’t remember actually being welcomed back. That might be a small problem.”
>”There’ll be booze.”
“So what time is the party at?” you ask, admitting defeat.
>”Half ten, be there sharpish.”
“Yeah, you know how I am. I’ll be there on time if I turn up at all.”
>”Thanks, it means a lot to me.”
“Why? Not that I care particular, I’m just curious.”
>”Well Anon, the truth is… I sorta like you…”
“Whoa, hold the fuck up! Don’t let Gilda catch you saying that!”
>Dash suddenly adopts a devilish grin. “Gotcha, I knew you and her were a thing.”
“You sneaky bitch… well, I suppose I have to give you credit for that. Well fucking played, you devious dyke.”
>”Thanks Ano… wait, what are you doing?”
>You grab Rainbow Dash, bundling her under one arm, and move to the bedroom window. You slide the window open and chuck Rainbow Dash out, who lands in a nest of bushes.
“That’s for thinking I would hurt Scoots. Remember, stay the fuck outta my house.”
>You slam the window shut, as a something wraps around your shoulders.
“The fuck do you want, Gilda?”
>”So, we’re a “thing”, or we?”
“I think we’re enemies with benefits, without any benefits.”
>”Then let’s change that, shall we?” Gilda purrs and an idea strikes you.
“Ok then, Gilda. Get on the bed and let’s do this.”
>You wheel round to face her, surprise and lust etched into her face.
>”R-really?”
“Yeah, really.”
>Gilda raises an eyebrow, before grinning. “Bout time, Anon.”
“Do you want to wait longer, missy?”
>Gilda rolls her eyes and hops onto the bed, lying down, and you climb on top of her.
>”So… do you want to start or will-“
>You cut her off by tickling her belly, as she erupts into giggles.
>”Wha… no, you bastard!” she cries, as your hands move up and down her chest.
“I have come to reap the sinners, none shall be spared!”
>You move your left hand to her neck and begin tickling, and Gilda tries to head butt your arm away.
“Say you’re sorry!”
>”Never!”
>You amp up the tickling, as Gilda thrashes and howls on the bed, pinned underneath you.
>”Ok… I’m sorry!” she yelps, and you jump off her.
“Oh silly Gilda, you didn’t think I’d actually fuck you first thing in the morning, did you?”
>Gilda giggles, before glaring. “That wasn’t very nice, Anon.”
“You sound surprised.”
>Gilda snorts, before fidgeting with her wings, which were now… unfolded?
“Is that what I think it is?”
>”It… might be.”
>…
“I didn’t know tickling was your fetish.”
>”Fuck you.” Gilda storms into your bathroom, her faces bright red.
>Heh, you should tickle her more often, she’s rather cute when she blushes…
>Stop it, stop thinking those thoughts, you’re changing….
>Yeah, you were changing. The worst part of it? You didn’t mind.
“Hey Gilda, are you coming to the party later? If I’m going to go, be unsocial and get drunk I’d like you to be there as well.”
>Gilda walks out from the bathroom, wings now tucked by her side. “Dash told me about the party already. If you’re going, I’ll go as well, but it’ll be totally lame.”
“Come on, Pinkie Pie’s an easily excitable retard but her parties are usually passable, it’ll be fine.”
“Well, I take everything back. This is totally lame.”
>”I told you, but did you listen?”
“Listen Gilda, I didn’t bring you along so you could fucking berate me.”
>”Well tough, I’m going to make you miserable anyway.”
>You lean back and massage your temples as obnoxious party music blared from a set of nearby speakers.
>You were currently sat in Sugarcube Corner, in the literal corner, with Gilda sitting on your lap. You’d been here for about two hours and not once had a p0ny tried to come up and chat with you. Instead, everyone ignored you as you wallowed in the corner; drinking cheap cider which you were pretty sure was actually Applejack’s piss. Not that you were complaining about not having to interact with these p0nies.
“Well, fuck this. I have no reason to be here.” You stand up, Gilda gracefully hopping off you, and you make your way for the door.
>”Oh Anonymoose, you can’t go yet! The parties only starting!” Pinkie yells, jumping up and down on the spot.
>You wheel round and plant a foot in the music player, which lets out one last splutter.
“You’ll never be able to tell me what I can and cannot do, Pinkie. Also, if you rape my ears like that again, then I’ll rape YOU. Have a shitty night.” You kick open the door of Sugarcube Corner, which was impressive since it opens inwards, and walk out into the p0nyville night.
>”Wow, that was kinda douchey.” Gilda says, as she runs up to beside you.
“Why does everyone always expect anything other than douchey from me?”
>”You don’t always have to act like an asshole, Anon.”
“Fuck you, this is who I am. I don’t bend for anyone, and if you don’t like who I am, then-“
>”Hey, I do like who you are. You’re not a total dweeb; you stick it to these p0nies.”
“Then why-“
>”I just think… there’s a point where you don’t need to be a dick about things…. Look, it doesn’t matter.”
“It obviously matters if you’re talking about it, but I can’t care enough to press the topic. What now?”
>”Well, we could… go for a walk?”
“Fine, as insufferable as you are for company, a walk sounds nice on a night like this.”
>The two of you walk silently to the outskirts of P0nyville, coming to a stop on the crest of a small hill overlooking the town.
>You lie down and stretch out, arms behind your head, looking up at the moon. Gilda settles next to you, head tucked beside your body.
>”Y’know Anon, I think I know what you’re problem is, why you’re always so angry…”
“You do? Please enlighten me, show me the way.”
>”You need to get laid. You said you’ve been here what, 3 years? And you’ve barely had sex.”
“Look, why do you want me so much? Why do you care?”
>Gilda pounces on top of you, her face inches from yours. “I don’t know! I don’t know why I care, I know I’ve only known you for a few days, but I really like you Anon. I really do.” You see her wings unfold slowly.
“Again? What’s up with those, anyway?”
>”Oh, my wings, um… when they unfold it’s… to show a male that… y’know…”
“That you’re interested?”
>”Yeah, basically.” Gilda looks into your eyes, smiling sheepishly.
>You know what?
>She’s right.
>You do need to get laid, even though that isn’t why you’re an asshole.
>It’s been 3 long years, broken up only by the occasional fap and that night with Dash, which doesn’t count since you didn’t even cum inside her.
“Hey Gilda? I’m up for it. You’re totally right. I’m stupid for being afraid of getting funky with someone outside my species. Let’s do it.”
>”I don’t trust you after earlier, dweeb.”
>You roll over so that she was once again pinned underneath you, her wings squashed against the ground.
“Well then, let me prove it.”
>You lean down and plant a kiss on Gilda’s neck, not bothering with her beak. Seriously, how the fuck would that even work.
>Gilda purrs, which helped contribute to your whyboner, and you feel her tail brushing against your crotch.
>”You really meant it… maybe tonight won’t be as lame as I thought…” Gilda moans as you continue to kiss her neck, running a hand down her back, past her erect wings and to her tail, where you begin to rub gently.
>You continue massaging and kissing her, until you feel a bulge in your pants.
>Well, it’s all or nothing at this stage.
>You stand up and quickly take off your clothes, not caring who or what saw you at this stage.
>Gilda grins at the sight of your erect member, and she spreads her legs open.
>Well.
>It’s a vagina… a lion’s vagina… she’s obviously ready for you…
>Oh come on Anon, it’s time to nut up and shut up. Stick it in, and enjoy the ride.
>You lean down onto Gilda, hands planted on either side of her body, and you position yourself.
“Ready?”
>”Do it, faggot.”
>And with that, you thrust into her, savouring her initial moans. God, Gilda was a tight one.
>You pick up the pace with your thrusting, making sure she took you into the hilt each time.
“Hey Gilda, you mind loosening up a bit? It’s almost like you don’t want me” you gasp, gripping Gilda’s hind legs.
>”Uuuugh” Gilda moans, any form of coherence or thought traded in for the physical bliss. Her claws clench and unclench, and she bites down on one of them, as you work away at her.
>God-damn this felt good, Gilda was right. Not even the thought of being a furfag could make you regret this.
>You begin to slow down, not wanting to end this early for both of you.
>”Wha… what gives?” Gilda asks, as you maintain a slow but steady rhythm.
“Can’t… have you… finishing so early” you pant, sweat forming at your brow.
>”What’s going on here?” asks a familiar voice.
>You whip your head round to face Rainbow Dash, as she lands on the ground.
“Oh for FUCKS SAKE, do you mind? Just because I didn’t fuck you properly doesn’t mean you have to cock-block me.”
>”No, I don’t mind, actually. And I’m not here about that, although I wouldn’t mind if Gilda shared…”
“Well then, would you please fuck off?” You groan, trying to keep your thrusting regular despite your attention being given to Dash.
>”Hey, I’m here to do you a favour, anyone could come along and find you two, and the town wont put up with anymore of your bullshit.”
>”She’s right, Anon.” Gilda puts a foreleg on your shoulder and you stop, staring down at her. “Let’s not do it here, where everyone can see us. Let’s finish this at the house…”
“For fucks sake.” You curse, before reluctantly pulling out of Gilda, who lets out a sigh of pleasure. Rainbow Dash looks on in disinterest as you put your clothes back on.
“I hope you’re happy, you bloody nuisance.”
>”I am happy. I’m glad that Gilda finally found a special somep0ny.” Dash winks at you… with her eyes, that is, before taking off and flying into the night sky.
>If she set out trying to achieve some sort of personal revenge, then she succeeded.
“Bah, let’s get on home then.”
>”I’m just wondering… are you not spent already?”
“What? No, of course not, humans can go for hours.”
>Gilda’s eyes widen as she realises what the night has in store for her…
>You lie on your bed, panting, as Gilda curls up beside you.
“That was… fuck.”
>”I agree.” Gilda murmurs, tired from the tango the two of you just danced.
>For a while the two of you just lie there, regaining your breath, the air thick with the smell of bodily fluids and sweat.
>”A-Anon?”
“Huh? What is it?”
>”You don’t… you don’t think we took this a little fast, do you?”
“What? You’re asking me this now?”
>Gilda shifts herself so that she’s looking directly up at you.
>”I mean… we’ve only known each other for a few days, and I don’t want to ruin what we have…”
“Well, it’s a bit late for regrets, don’t you think?” You chuckle, and scratch her behind the ear. “Don’t worry Gilda. I like you. I like you a lot. I think… I think we can make this work. Let’s just take this… whatever this is… let’s just take it one day at a time. Whaddya say?”
>”I suppose… that sounds ok…”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not giving you a choice here.”
>”I guess tonight didn’t change you, huh?”
“Did you want it to?”
>…
>”No. I like you just the way you are.”
“I like myself just the way I am as well.”
>You both share a laugh, before snuggling together. Sleep didn’t come slowly for either of you, given your exhaustion.
>Who knows what tomorrow will bring for you and Gilda? You didn’t really care… just as long as she was by your side.
>God, you really have become a huge faggot, haven’t you?

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>You awaken to a blue pegasus staring you in the face.
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
>”I have something to tell you.”
“Well that’s neat and dandy, but you don’t have to go and ruin my morning from the get-go.”
>”Do you want to hear it or not?”
“Well, if it’ll make you leave faster, then spill it.”
>”I asked Pinkie Pie to hold a welcome back party for you and Gilda.”
“That’s funny; I don’t remember actually being welcomed back. That might be a small problem.”
>”There’ll be booze.”
“So what time is the party at?” you ask, admitting defeat.
>”Half ten, be there sharpish.”
“Yeah, you know how I am. I’ll be there on time if I turn up at all.”
>”Thanks, it means a lot to me.”
“Why? Not that I care particular, I’m just curious.”
>”Well Anon, the truth is… I sorta like you…”
“Whoa, hold the fuck up! Don’t let Gilda catch you saying that!”
>Dash suddenly adopts a devilish grin. “Gotcha, I knew you and her were a thing.”
“You sneaky bitch… well, I suppose I have to give you credit for that. Well fucking played, you devious dyke.”
>”Thanks Ano… wait, what are you doing?”
>You grab Rainbow Dash, bundling her under one arm, and move to the bedroom window. You slide the window open and chuck Rainbow Dash out, who lands in a nest of bushes.
“That’s for thinking I would hurt Scoots. Remember, stay the fuck outta my house.”
>You slam the window shut, as a something wraps around your shoulders.
“The fuck do you want, Gilda?”
>”So, we’re a “thing”, or we?”
“I think we’re enemies with benefits, without any benefits.”
>”Then let’s change that, shall we?” Gilda purrs and an idea strikes you.
“Ok then, Gilda. Get on the bed and let’s do this.”
>You wheel round to face her, surprise and lust etched into her face.
>”R-really?”
“Yeah, really.”
>Gilda raises an eyebrow, before grinning. “Bout time, Anon.”
“Do you want to wait longer, missy?”
>Gilda rolls her eyes and hops onto the bed, lying down, and you climb on top of her.
>”So… do you want to start or will-“
>You cut her off by tickling her belly, as she erupts into giggles.
>”Wha… no, you bastard!” she cries, as your hands move up and down her chest. 
“I have come to reap the sinners, none shall be spared!” 
>You move your left hand to her neck and begin tickling, and Gilda tries to head butt your arm away.
“Say you’re sorry!”
>”Never!”
>You amp up the tickling, as Gilda thrashes and howls on the bed, pinned underneath you. 
>”Ok… I’m sorry!” she yelps, and you jump off her.
“Oh silly Gilda, you didn’t think I’d actually fuck you first thing in the morning, did you?”
>Gilda giggles, before glaring. “That wasn’t very nice, Anon.”
“You sound surprised.”
>Gilda snorts, before fidgeting with her wings, which were now… unfolded?
“Is that what I think it is?”
>”It… might be.”
>…
“I didn’t know tickling was your fetish.”
>”Fuck you.” Gilda storms into your bathroom, her faces bright red.
>Heh, you should tickle her more often, she’s rather cute when she blushes…
>Stop it, stop thinking those thoughts, you’re changing….
>Yeah, you were changing. The worst part of it? You didn’t mind.
“Hey Gilda, are you coming to the party later? If I’m going to go, be unsocial and get drunk I’d like you to be there as well.”
>Gilda walks out from the bathroom, wings now tucked by her side. “Dash told me about the party already. If you’re going, I’ll go as well, but it’ll be totally lame.”
“Come on, Pinkie Pie’s an easily excitable retard but her parties are usually passable, it’ll be fine.”

“Well, I take everything back. This is totally lame.”
>”I told you, but did you listen?”
“Listen Gilda, I didn’t bring you along so you could fucking berate me.”
>”Well tough, I’m going to make you miserable anyway.”
>You lean back and massage your temples as obnoxious party music blared from a set of nearby speakers.
>You were currently sat in Sugarcube Corner, in the literal corner, with Gilda sitting on your lap. You’d been here for about two hours and not once had a p0ny tried to come up and chat with you. Instead, everyone ignored you as you wallowed in the corner; drinking cheap cider which you were pretty sure was actually Applejack’s piss. Not that you were complaining about not having to interact with these p0nies.
“Well, fuck this. I have no reason to be here.” You stand up, Gilda gracefully hopping off you, and you make your way for the door.
>”Oh Anonymoose, you can’t go yet! The parties only starting!” Pinkie yells, jumping up and down on the spot.
>You wheel round and plant a foot in the music player, which lets out one last splutter.
“You’ll never be able to tell me what I can and cannot do, Pinkie. Also, if you rape my ears like that again, then I’ll rape YOU. Have a shitty night.” You kick open the door of Sugarcube Corner, which was impressive since it opens inwards, and walk out into the p0nyville night.
>”Wow, that was kinda douchey.” Gilda says, as she runs up to beside you.
“Why does everyone always expect anything other than douchey from me?”
>”You don’t always have to act like an asshole, Anon.”
“Fuck you, this is who I am. I don’t bend for anyone, and if you don’t like who I am, then-“
>”Hey, I do like who you are. You’re not a total dweeb; you stick it to these p0nies.”
“Then why-“
>”I just think… there’s a point where you don’t need to be a dick about things…. Look, it doesn’t matter.”
“It obviously matters if you’re talking about it, but I can’t care enough to press the topic. What now?”
>”Well, we could… go for a walk?”
“Fine, as insufferable as you are for company, a walk sounds nice on a night like this.”
>The two of you walk silently to the outskirts of P0nyville, coming to a stop on the crest of a small hill overlooking the town.
>You lie down and stretch out, arms behind your head, looking up at the moon. Gilda settles next to you, head tucked beside your body.
>”Y’know Anon, I think I know what you’re problem is, why you’re always so angry…”
“You do? Please enlighten me, show me the way.”
>”You need to get laid. You said you’ve been here what, 3 years? And you’ve barely had sex.”
“Look, why do you want me so much? Why do you care?”
>Gilda pounces on top of you, her face inches from yours. “I don’t know! I don’t know why I care, I know I’ve only known you for a few days, but I really like you Anon. I really do.” You see her wings unfold slowly.
“Again? What’s up with those, anyway?”
>”Oh, my wings, um… when they unfold it’s… to show a male that… y’know…”
“That you’re interested?”
>”Yeah, basically.” Gilda looks into your eyes, smiling sheepishly.
>You know what?
>She’s right.
>You do need to get laid, even though that isn’t why you’re an asshole.
>It’s been 3 long years, broken up only by the occasional fap and that night with Dash, which doesn’t count since you didn’t even cum inside her.
“Hey Gilda? I’m up for it. You’re totally right. I’m stupid for being afraid of getting funky with someone outside my species. Let’s do it.”
>”I don’t trust you after earlier, dweeb.”
>You roll over so that she was once again pinned underneath you, her wings squashed against the ground.
“Well then, let me prove it.”
>You lean down and plant a kiss on Gilda’s neck, not bothering with her beak. Seriously, how the fuck would that even work.
>Gilda purrs, which helped contribute to your whyboner, and you feel her tail brushing against your crotch.
>”You really meant it… maybe tonight won’t be as lame as I thought…” Gilda moans as you continue to kiss her neck, running a hand down her back, past her erect wings and to her tail, where you begin to rub gently.
>You continue massaging and kissing her, until you feel a bulge in your pants. 
>Well, it’s all or nothing at this stage.
>You stand up and quickly take off your clothes, not caring who or what saw you at this stage. 
>Gilda grins at the sight of your erect member, and she spreads her legs open.
>Well.
>It’s a vagina… a lion’s vagina… she’s obviously ready for you…
>Oh come on Anon, it’s time to nut up and shut up. Stick it in, and enjoy the ride.
>You lean down onto Gilda, hands planted on either side of her body, and you position yourself.
“Ready?”
>”Do it, faggot.”
>And with that, you thrust into her, savouring her initial moans. God, Gilda was a tight one.
>You pick up the pace with your thrusting, making sure she took you into the hilt each time.
“Hey Gilda, you mind loosening up a bit? It’s almost like you don’t want me” you gasp, gripping Gilda’s hind legs.
>”Uuuugh” Gilda moans, any form of coherence or thought traded in for the physical bliss. Her claws clench and unclench, and she bites down on one of them, as you work away at her.
>God-damn this felt good, Gilda was right. Not even the thought of being a furfag could make you regret this.
>You begin to slow down, not wanting to end this early for both of you.
>”Wha… what gives?” Gilda asks, as you maintain a slow but steady rhythm. 
“Can’t… have you… finishing so early” you pant, sweat forming at your brow.
>”What’s going on here?” asks a familiar voice.
>You whip your head round to face Rainbow Dash, as she lands on the ground.
“Oh for FUCKS SAKE, do you mind? Just because I didn’t fuck you properly doesn’t mean you have to cock-block me.”
>”No, I don’t mind, actually. And I’m not here about that, although I wouldn’t mind if Gilda shared…”
“Well then, would you please fuck off?” You groan, trying to keep your thrusting regular despite your attention being given to Dash.
>”Hey, I’m here to do you a favour, anyone could come along and find you two, and the town wont put up with anymore of your bullshit.”
>”She’s right, Anon.” Gilda puts a foreleg on your shoulder and you stop, staring down at her. “Let’s not do it here, where everyone can see us. Let’s finish this at the house…”
“For fucks sake.” You curse, before reluctantly pulling out of Gilda, who lets out a sigh of pleasure. Rainbow Dash looks on in disinterest as you put your clothes back on. 
“I hope you’re happy, you bloody nuisance.” 
>”I am happy. I’m glad that Gilda finally found a special somep0ny.” Dash winks at you… with her eyes, that is, before taking off and flying into the night sky. 
>If she set out trying to achieve some sort of personal revenge, then she succeeded. 
“Bah, let’s get on home then.”
>”I’m just wondering… are you not spent already?”
“What? No, of course not, humans can go for hours.”
>Gilda’s eyes widen as she realises what the night has in store for her…

>You lie on your bed, panting, as Gilda curls up beside you.
“That was… fuck.”
>”I agree.” Gilda murmurs, tired from the tango the two of you just danced. 
>For a while the two of you just lie there, regaining your breath, the air thick with the smell of bodily fluids and sweat.
>”A-Anon?”
“Huh? What is it?”
>”You don’t… you don’t think we took this a little fast, do you?”
“What? You’re asking me this now?”
>Gilda shifts herself so that she’s looking directly up at you.
>”I mean… we’ve only known each other for a few days, and I don’t want to ruin what we have…”
“Well, it’s a bit late for regrets, don’t you think?” You chuckle, and scratch her behind the ear. “Don’t worry Gilda. I like you. I like you a lot. I think… I think we can make this work. Let’s just take this… whatever this is… let’s just take it one day at a time. Whaddya say?”
>”I suppose… that sounds ok…”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not giving you a choice here.”
>”I guess tonight didn’t change you, huh?”
“Did you want it to?”
>…
>”No. I like you just the way you are.”
“I like myself just the way I am as well.”
>You both share a laugh, before snuggling together. Sleep didn’t come slowly for either of you, given your exhaustion. 
>Who knows what tomorrow will bring for you and Gilda? You didn’t really care… just as long as she was by your side.
>God, you really have become a huge faggot, haven’t you?

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