A Blossom of Emotion Chapter One

Quick note: This story takes place pre-season one.

 

        You wake to persistent sounding of a short, repeating tone. Opening your eyes, you find yourself in a drab green and pale white room. A slight discomfort around your body causes you to glance over it. You notice there are things sticking into your body, their characteristics reminding you of glass but much softer and easier to manipulate. They are connected to a small metal box with a wavy green line. Moving your right arm to feel your body, you realize you are in a different set of clothes. Though the shape of the clothes fit, the shoulders are much broader, making it hang like a toga. You sit up and try to locate your apparel, only to find that it is nowhere to be seen. You remove the needles holding the clear material from your body to leave the room and a long beeping noise sounds through the room. As you get out of the bed, the horse you saw before you passed out, along with another horse wearing a hat with a red cross, come rushing in. You quirk an eyebrow and muse to yourself when you see the two.

 

        “Nurse, I have this handled; you may leave. Creature, I mean you no harm,” the horse speaks. As you freeze at its words, the hat wearing pony nods and leaves. At first you had thought that someone behind it was speaking or you were merely hallucinating. If this was life after death, the church would call blasphemy. You step back and stumble over a thin pole connected to the metal box. Before you hit the ground, a purple glow surrounds you and pulls you back up. Before the glow disappears, you notice the horn on the horse glowing as well. As it dissipates, the horse’s breathing quickens slightly.

 

        “Sorcery!” you exclaim.

 

        “Sorcery? Is that like magic?”

 

        “Witchcraft?! Begone, you vile demon!”

 

        “Demons? Witches? You mean like Nightmare Night?”

 

        “A night dedicated to demon worship! I shall have no part in such vile activities!”

 

        “Sir, calm down,” the horse says. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I can assure you we don’t ‘worship devils’ around here.”

 

        “A horse telling me to calm down? I will listen to no worshipper of demons!”

 

        “I’m a pony, not a horse. Besides, if I wanted to harm you, I wouldn’t have helped you. You were pretty banged up when we found you.”

 

        “Found me? Where am I?”

 

        “The city of Manehatten in Equestria,” the pony responds. “We found you outside on the ground on Mane Street.” Manehatten, Equestria, Main Street? Those certainly aren’t any names you have heard before.

 

        “You said I was ‘banged up?’ I am not familiar with the term. Would you care to enlighten me?”

 

        “You were wounded. Though there was no blood, a few bones were broken.”

 

        “If my bones were broken, where is the pain? Where are the scars of surgery?”

 

        “The doctor healed you with basic magic.” You flinch and subconsciously clench your fist at the open talk of magic and how they supposedly healed you with it. There is no such thing as good magic; all magic is devil worship. You take a breath to calm yourself.

 

        “Where are my belongings?” You hope they did not take anything. You do not like the idea of wearing this green cloth they consider clothes and the sword was a gift from your father before he passed. Your pocket watch should be in good condition. Your clothes also had a few hidden pouches of gold and a dagger that you’d rather stay hidden.

 

        “Before I answer, I'd like some reassurance. Are you here with friendly or hostile intentions?”

 

        “I am civilized to those who show no disdain towards me and you have shown me none. I was wounded, and though I disapprove of your methods, you tended to me.”

 

        “Fair enough. The clothes are in the drawer behind you. We found a small bag of currency similar to our bits. I believe they’re yours, so we’ll let you keep them. Your sword is in storage for security reasons. Do you have a name?”

 

        “Lord Anonymous,” you state.

 

        “Lord? You’re a noble? That would explain those clothes. I’m Shining Armor, Lieutenant of the Equestrian Royal guard. I’ve never seen a sword like yours before. Not even the highest quality griffon steel is like it.”

 

        “A pleasure, Shining,” you say. “‘Twas a gift. Say, you mentioned griffons. Are there other creatures living among your kind?”

 

        “Well there are the minotaurs, dragons, ponies, zebras, cows, diamond dogs, and a few others.” It seems either you are dead and this is the afterlife, or you’re dreaming. Probably the former, as you are sure that knight had slain you. Half of those creatures are myths on Earth.

 

        “And they are all sentient?” you ask.

 

        “They are,” he replies, nodding.

 

        “Well, that is certainly a change in scenery, but it is informative. Thank you, Lieutenant. Do you mind if I don my apparel?”

 

        “Not at all,” he replies, standing in place.

 

        “...Could you perhaps leave for a moment?”

 

        “Is there a reason?” he asks.

 

        “Humans do not publicly expose themselves.”

 

        “... Pardon? Ponies don’t wear clothes often, anyways.”

 

        “I would like my privacy,” you simply state.

 

        “I’ll leave you to your business.” He leaves the room and you remove the drab paper-thin green garments. Opening the drawer, you see all your clothes neatly arranged in a pile. You take the clothes out and begin putting them back on. When you finish, you look at a mirror on the wall and adjust the clothing. A moment later, the pony you now know as Shining Armor comes back in the room, your sword in tow. The sword floats off his back and onto the bed. You flinch at the display of magic. The church would unequivocally slaughter these equines. “Does your kind always wear clothes?” he asks.

 

        “Most of the time, yes. Humans are hairless and clothes protect us from the elements. It is also indecent to wear nothing in front of others,” you say, strapping the sword to your waist. As you draw the blade from its sheath, you see Shining step back into a low crouch which you assume to be a fighting stance. “I mean you no harm. I am merely checking my sword for any impairment.” You examine the blade and notice it is in perfect condition. The blows from that fiend you fought would have without-a-doubt left dints. It looks exactly how it was the day it was given. “The blade should be marred. Was it like this when you found it?”

 

        “It was with everything you had. The blade was in perfect condition when I first checked,” he replies. “So your race is known as humans. I don’t think there are any humans in Equestria. I’m not entirely sure though. You’ll have to ask Princess Celestia or my sister, Twiley.”

 

        “I see. Regarding the humans, I figured there would not be any. Most of the races in this land are merely myths and legends.” You sheathe the sword and look to Shining. As you are about to ask Shining a question, another pony with golden armor comes in. He whispers to Shining who nods his head. A few seconds later, the armored pony looks at you and walks out. “Is there a problem, Lieutenant?”

 

        “No, there isn’t. However, the princess would like to meet you,” he says. “I sent a report to them when we found you and the response was through that guard you just saw. There was a bright flash of light when you appeared though I assume humans cannot use magic, can they?”

 

        “The only humans that use magic are witches. Most do not take too kindly to them.”

 

        “Well, you’re going to have to get used to it. Everything in Equestria is magic.”

 

        “I suppose I will,” you sigh.

 

        “It’s not too bad. We use magic for good,” he replies.

 

        “I see... So who is this princess?”

 

        “Princess Celestia? She’s been the ruler of Equestria for the last thousand years and controls the sun and the moon.”

 

        “Blasphemy! You may have proved you can use ‘magic’, but only God controls the sun and moon. No mere mortal could do such a thing.”

 

        “The princess has lived for over a thousand years. She’s not just a mere mortal as you put it,” he responds. “If you want to question her authority, be my guest, Anonymous. I can’t tell you how well it would end, though. Every year Princess Celestia hosts a Summer Sun Celebration where ponies gather to watch her raise the sun.”

 

        “I would like to see that through my own eyes. Now, are we going to visit the princess?”

 

        “Yes, of course. Follow me, Anonymous.” He turns around and walks out the door. You follow him through the halls and eventually, you come to a steel double door. He opens it and you see two white guards with wings wearing golden armor.

 

        “Why do the guards wear gold as armor? Gold makes for terrible protection.”

 

        “It’s a sign of Equestria’s power.”

 

        “So you are a wealthy nation? It must cost a fortune to suit your guards with such materials. Also, how many types of ponies are there?” you ask.

 

        “Well there are four types. Unicorn ponies, pegasus ponies, and earth ponies. Unicorns can use magic, pegasi can fly, and earth ponies have a natural strength and connection to the land. The last race are the Alicorns. They have the strength of all three combined, but they’re very few in numbers.”

 

        “I see,” you reply. “Horses and ponies were used for farm work where I came from. They hauled carts and turned the millstones. They did jobs that humans could not do.”

 

        “They weren’t sentient, were they?”

 

        “No, they were not. Humans were the only sentient beings where I hail from. Every other living creature was driven by pure instinct. They are but mindless beasts.”

 

        “Well, I can’t say I approve of that, but I suppose I can tolerate it. I wouldn’t spread that around much if I were you though.” He trots to the chariot the guards are attached to and begins talking to them. After a moment, he turns around and does a motion you think equivalent to come hither. You walk over to him and notice a bunch of other ponies staring.

 

        “Move along citizens, nothing to see here! Guard business!” he shouts. The bystanders look at each other and shrug before carrying on. “Anonymous, these fine guards will take us to the castle, where you will meet the princess. Remember to behave yourself.” He steps on the back of the chariot and you follow suit.

 

        “Of course. I know how to address royalty,” you reply. “So, are these guards going to run to the castle?” The pegasi respond by beginning to run before they eventually jump, flapping their wings and beginning to soar. You brace yourself and grab the railing tightly, holding on for dear life. Here you were, the first human to ever soar the sky, and you’re terrified beyond words. Even though the scenery is beautiful, you still cannot relax.

 

        “You alright, Anonymous?” Shining asks. You can only reply by slowly shaking your head. He laughs. “It can’t be that bad.”

 

        “Humans were not born to fly,” you say. “Though it truly is beautiful up here, this method of transportation would be my last choice.”

 

        “Well, you’ll get over it soon. Look over at the mountain in the distance,” he says, pointing to a small hill in the distance. As the chariot gets closer, the hill grows and he eventually speaks once more. “That’s our destination, the Royal Castle.”

 

        Minutes later, the hill changes into a mountain, a large city hanging on the side. “How is that even possible?” you ask.

 

        “How is what possible?”

 

        “That city is hanging off the side of a mountain.”

 

        “Oh, Canterlot,” he says. “It’s magically enchanted to be like that. Even if the mountain were to fall, it would continue floating like Cloudsdale.”

 

        “Cloudsdale?”

 

        “Oh, I forgot. It’s the Pegasus city. They produce clouds for the weather.”

 

        “... I have no words...” With those final words, the chariot begins to descend. The pegasi piloting circles a large pad before landing. Shining gets out of the chariot and you follow. As he walks toward a pair of large doors, ponies around you salute to him.

 

        “Lieutenant.”

 

        “Sir.”

 

        “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”

 

        “Your men hold you in high regards,” you say.

 

        “Their respect was earned,” he replies.

 

        Shining Armor leads you down a few halls and some ponies dressed as servants stare at you as you pass by. Eventually, you arrive at a long hallway with stained glass and a large, decorated steel gate. The two guards standing by open the door when they see Shining and he leads you inside the room. You look around and notice many things. The room is decorated with tapestries lining the walls and purple marble overlaying the ground. A white Alicorn sits on a throne atop a large pedestal, with wings spread and an impossibly colored mane flowing in an invisible breeze. When you reach the center of the room, Shining bows and you follow suit.

 

        “Princess Celestia, this is Lord Anonymous, the one I told you about in the report,” Shining says, before trotting over to stand by the princess.

 

        “Welcome, Lord Anonymous. I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria.”

 

        “While this is unexpected, it is a pleasure to be here, Princess,” you say, rising from your bow.

 

        “May I ask what species you are?”

 

        “Of course, your Majesty. I am of the human race.”

 

        “I’ve never heard of humans. Are you perhaps in relation to the minotaurs?”

 

        “Your Majesty–”

 

        “Please, call me Celestia,” she says, cutting you off.

 

        “Very well then... Celestia. Minotaurs are believed to be half human, half oxen. They are mythological creatures in my land.”

 

        “And where is your land, Anonymous?”

 

        “In the empire where the sun never sets.”

 

        “That’s truly a shame as there’s nothing more lovely than a beautiful sunset, apart from a gorgeous sunrise.”

 

        “T’is a figure of speech, though I prefer dusk. It is truly underappreciated. Many do not understand it is a time for family and rejoicing, but enough of that; is there anything you need of me while I am present, Prin– Celestia?” you ask.

 

        “Just a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

 

        “Ask away, Princess,” you reply.

 

        “Are you a threat to my little ponies?”

 

        “I am of no threat to those who show no contempt or malice towards me, your majesty. Your Lieutenant has done an excellent job regarding hospitality.”

 

        “Fair enough,” she says. “What was your profession?”

 

        “I was a noble, a rich landowner. Given that I seem to have no assets to my name any longer, it appears I will have to make my way anew. For now, I know my way around both the sword and politics.”

 

        “Interesting. How did you arrive in our land, Equestria?”

 

        “I was attempting to subdue the perpetrator that had slain the prince. He was a master swordsman, though; many were slain by him when we located him, including me. That was the last I remember of my land.”

 

        “I see... given the chance, would you like to return back to your home?”

 

        "I still have not decided whether or not I desire to."

 

        “Very well. You are welcome in the palace until we ascertain if it is even possible to return you to your home,” she says. “Perhaps you would like to visit the library to learn about our nation?”

 

        “I would love to. Knowledge on the land would be most helpful. Perhaps I could learn of political issues as well.”

 

        “Of course. Shining, could you show Anonymous to the library?”

 

        “Yes, princess,” he replies. He looks to you and begins walking towards the door you entered. “Follow me, Anonymous.” He leads you through the halls once more and eventually, you arrive at the library. A guard levitates a key into the door and opens it. “This is the Canterlot Royal Library,” he says. He leads you inside and points you to a section of books. “Those books are on politics, those are books on Equestria’s geography, and that section is the history of Equestria.”

 

        “Thank you, Shining. You have been most helpful; feel free to leave.”

 

        “Well I guess I’ll see you later, then. Should you need help finding a book, ask the librarian. There will be dinner served in three hours. A guard will be outside.”

 

        “Thank you,” you say. He nods and leaves you alone in the library. You walk over to the politics section and grab a few large books and set them on a table. After reading for awhile, you learn that Equestria is currently in a political impasse with the griffon empire and they have a few threats of invasion from the minotaurs.

 

        You set the book down and grab a book on Equestria’s geographical regions. You open it and turn to the page with a map regarding regional boundaries. The minotaur nation lies to the west of Equestria, while the griffon’s territory is to the north. You make a note to ask the princess about it later. You search for information on the Equestrian army and eventually find the section.

 

        You find a book on their tactics and bring it over to the table. As you read, you learn many things about their tactics. Unicorns can provide cover and long range attacks, earth ponies haul heavy equipment and set up tactical positions, and pegasi are used for scouting and pre-emptive strikes. You look up from the book and stare out the window. The sun begins to set over the horizon so you put the books away and exit the library. Beside the door stands a guard.

 

        “Guard?” you ask.

 

        “Can I help you?”

 

        “Could you escort me to where Lieutenant Shining Armor will be eating?”

 

        “I was told there was a hornless minotaur wearing noble clothes staying in the castle now. Would you happen to be him?”

 

        “Minotaur? I suppose I could see that resemblance. I am a human,” you reply.

 

        “Follow me,” he states before he begins walking down the halls. After a long walk through multiple corridors, you arrive at medium-sized double doors. He opens it and motions you inside. Looking around, you see Shining Armor along with a group of guard ponies sitting at long table. The door closes behind you and they look over to see who had entered the mess hall. Shining motions you over so you walk towards him. Arriving at the table, you sit down beside him and look at the other guards.

 

        “Hello, Anonymous. I trust you’ve learned much from the library?”

 

        “Yes, I did. I read you have a few political problems with the griffons and minotaurs. Would that be the reason the guards are wary of me?”

 

        “Ah, that. You look like an ape that bred with a minotaur, though you have no fur like the two,” he says, chuckling in a friendly manner. “If you want to discuss politics, you’ve come to the wrong place. The princess is better suited for that.”

 

        A servant magicks a bowl of fruits over and trots away. “What about soldier politics?” you ask as you begin eating.

 

        “Well the griffons are really just staying neutral with us. I believe they’ll side with whoever is the greatest power on Equis. If the minotaurs declare war on us and gain the upper hoof, the griffons will likely side with them.”

 

        “I see. So, may I ask why the minotaurs want to invade Equestria?”

 

        “The minotaurs only want nations that are willing to declare war with all others as allies. They would rather fight our nation than become allies,” he says. “Equestria is a peaceful nation and it’s my job to keep it that way.”

 

        “Perhaps I could help with that,” you say. “As an alien to the land, I could be a middleman of sorts. Maybe I could even make negotiations peaceful.”

 

        “You don’t seem to understand, Anonymous. They decide through duels; their champion against another nation’s champion warrior. Four years ago, a captain of the guard fought their champion. He was slaughtered.”

 

        “Are there any rules to their duels?” you ask.

 

        “No magic of any kind.”

 

        “Maybe I could help. I do not fight with magic and I have trained with a commander before.”

 

        “Anonymous, if you are so keen on helping, ask the princess about it. Even if I could, I wouldn’t send another species to fight our battles. If you lost, there might be trouble.”

 

        “Who says I plan on losing?”

 

        “Who says you’re actually an ally? For all we know, you could just be a mutilated minotaur spy sent to gather information,” he says. “Do you see where I’m going with this, Anonymous? Besides, Equestrian guards are highly capable.”

 

        “I do, though I believe I could incapacitate a few.”

 

        “How about a friendly match? One of my guards versus you.”

 

        “Sure, why not? I could use some practice.”

 

        “Hey Leaf Edge!” Shining shouts. The ponies sitting around the table quiet down and turn to look at Shining. “Are you up for a friendly bout?” A fairly large unicorn stands up from the end of the table.

 

        “With whom?” Leaf asks.

 

        “Lord Anonymous, the human over here. He wants a taste of royal guard strength,” Shining replies, pointing his hoof at you.

 

        “The human has a bone to pick? Sure, I’ll bite. Rules, Lieutenant?”

 

        “Swords only. Usual enchantments so none of you die.”

 

        “Enchantments?” you ask.

 

        “Draw your blades,” Shining commands. You draw your blade from its sheath as Leaf Edge magicks a blade from a weapon rack over. Shining’s horn glows along with both your blades.

 

        “What was that?”

 

        “A safety enchantment. Killing blows will leave dark red marks; light grazes blue. The blades will still feel sharp, though.” You slide your thumb across the blade, feeling its edge. True to his word, it is still as sharp. The tables begin to glow and float, moving to the edges of the room before landing, creating a large arena. The guards all back to the walls of the room, talking amongst themselves. Leaf Edge enters the arena and you remove your coat before following suit. “Best of three,” Shining says. His horn shoots a beam towards the ceiling and a purple dome forms around the arena. You jump at the massive beam from his horn. Though you cannot hear the sound outside, you can see the guards laughing.

 

You are Shining Armor.

 

        The human Anonymous and Leaf Edge, the sergeant under your command, stand inside the dome. They both circle each other calmly, sizing each other up. Suddenly, they stop and Leaf Edge thrusts his blade at Anonymous. At the last moment without batting an eye, he brings his blade up, efficiently deflecting the attack. Without missing a beat, Leaf slashes his blade from behind Anonymous. He brings his blade over his shoulder, parrying the blow. With a quick flick of his wrist, the blade is sent away. Leaf levitates his blade beside himself, Anonymous standing calmly in the same position.

 

        “That human is pretty good.”

 

        “Leaf is going to kick his flank!”

 

        “Ten bits on Sarge.”

 

        They begin to circle each other once more, counter-clockwise. Anonymous quickly propels himself towards his opponent and brings his blade down in an overhand sweep. Leaf quickly sidesteps and dodges the blade; it crashes into the ground. Anonymous wastes no time as he quickly angles the blade, swinging it away from his body towards Leaf Edge. He jumps back and brings his blade in front of him, blocking Anonymous’s attack.

 

        “How interesting,” a calm melodic voice speaks. Your eyes widen and you turn to the source of the sound before quickly bowing. You know who that voice belongs to. Permitting a fight in front of the princess isn’t the best idea. The cheering of the guards is enough to know that they haven’t noticed the princess’s entrance. Anonymous and Leaf Edge still fight, uninterrupted by the sound outside. The shield seems to be doing its job well. “There is no need to bow here, Lieutenant.”

 

        “Princess Celestia, what are you doing here?”

 

        “Just checking to see how our guest is doing,” she says, observing the fight. “He’s true to his word in skill, it appears.”

 

        “You aren’t angry he and Leaf are fighting in the mess hall?”

 

        "I am not a fool, Shining Armor. I could see that this was just a bout. Why would I jump to conclusions?"

 

        “No reason at all, Princess,” you say. “By the way, Anonymous wanted to speak with you about minotaur politics.”

 

        “We’ll let his skill speak for him. He could be useful, though it seems he isn’t giving his all.” You look back to the fight to see Anonymous parry Leaf’s blade before going for a counter. You’re surprised Anonymous has lasted this long; Leaf is very skilled with the sword, yet Anonymous fights with extreme precision, making each strike count and easily deflecting your sergeant's attacks away with a certain calmness. Watching this, you can easily tell this alien is not giving his all; it was more like he's toying with Leaf than anything, but appearing like he's trying. A dangerous creature, Anonymous is. A few seconds later, Anonymous lands a perfect slash on Leaf’s chest leaving a dark red line; an instant kill.

 

        “Apparently so,” you reply. The two back up into their respective corners before they pounce at each other. Though Leaf’s face portrays exhaustion, Anonymous’s face is still relaxed, like this fight was beneath him. Leaf thrusts his blade forward in an attempt to impale Anonymous through the chest. He sidesteps and uses Leaf’s momentum against him, angling his own blade, knocking the blow off course. Before Leaf can bring his blade for another attack, Anonymous stabs his blade through your sergeant’s back.

 

        The room goes quiet; all cheering grinds to a sudden stop. You bring the shield down and they leave the fighting ring. Leaf Edge trots over to a group of guards and Anonymous spots you and Celestia. Sheathing his blade, he walks over and gives a curt nod to you and the princess.

 

You are Anonymous

 

        You were done assessing the skill level of the sergeant known as Leaf Edge. His skill was fairly good, though nothing like that beast that had slain you and the commander. You quickly dispatch him and the purple dome surrounding you dissipates. Walking outside of the domeless arena, you see Shining and Princess Celestia. You sheathe your blade and walk over to them, giving a curt nod.

 

        “Evening, Princess, Lieutenant.”

 

        “How are you this evening, Anonymous?” the princess asks.

 

        “I am fine, thank you,” you say. “Though I wonder, how much did you observe?”

 

        “Enough. I hear you would like to help with minotaur relations?”

 

        “Verily. I believe I could be of use regarding political negotiations.”

 

        “You’ve certainly proven yourself with the blade. Perhaps we could get you up to date with our nation’s politics later on.”

 

        “That would be most kind of you,” you say, bowing to the princess once more.

 

        “Of course,” she says smiling. “Shining, could you show our guest to his quarters? Also, be sure to visit me in my study later tonight.”

 

        “Yes, your majesty,” he replies. “Come on, Anonymous. Follow me.” He quickly levitates the tables back in order before trotting out the door. As you walk through the hallways, you notice only a few guards and servants in the hallway.

 

        “Good evening, Lieutenant,” they call as the two of you pass. Eventually, after walking through a few hallways and taking a few turns, you arrive at a long hall lined with doors. He escorts you to the end and opens a door. Looking inside, you see many things; a large bed, a balcony, a lavatory, and some other furnishings.

 

        “Thank you, Shining Armor,” you say, walking inside.

 

        “Would you like a shower or bath prepared for you? I could get a maid to prepare one if you’d like.”

 

        “A shower? I know what a bath is, but not a shower. Besides, I have bathed three days ago.”

 

        “Three days! You should cleanse your body at least once a day!” he exclaims.

 

        “Once a day? I usually don't bathe for a week, and that is just so I can remove dirt and foul odors from my body. I do not see any other reason to waste my time sitting in a tub of water!”

 

        “... Yeah... I’ll just send a maid to prepare a bath.”

 

        “I assure you, I am fine for now.”

 

        “This is not up for discussion. You’re getting a bath.”

 

        You sigh, “Very well.” He nods and closes the door, leaving you on your own. It is not like a bath was good for anything else, other than removing grime from your body, right...?

 

        You remove your coat and hang it on a rack. You continue to remove the rest of your clothes, leaving on the undergarments and fold them into a neat pile on a nightstand. After emptying your bags of gold and the pocketwatch from your clothes, you remove your hidden dagger and sword and lay them against the wall beside your bed. Just as you finish, there is a knock on the door. You open the door to a pony maid wearing a short, black, french maid’s outfit.

 

        “You requested a ba– whoa, you’re tall!” she says, looking up.

 

        “Indeed,” you reply, stepping aside from the door. She steps inside the room and trots around you, examining your body. “Are you here to examine me, or prepare a bath?”

 

        “Oh, of course. Silly me!” She trots towards the lavatory and her horn glows. A similar colored glow surrounds a knob and twists it. Water begins flowing and she levitates some small grains into the tub. The water begins to foam up, covering the top layer. “What is that foam?”

 

        “It’s specially made soap for cleaning!”

 

        “That foam is supposed to be soap?”

 

        “Yes indeedy! I'll also be here to help you with your bathing," she says, trotting back to you before sitting down. She looks up, tilting her head with curiosity plastered on her face.

 

        “I will be fine on my own, thank you,” you say, walking over to the lavatory. “This lavatory is well furnished.”

 

        “Lavatory? You mean bathroom?” she asks, trotting up to you.

 

        “Bathroom?”

 

        “It’s a place where you do your private business!”

 

        “I see. Yes, I suppose I do mean bathroom.” You walk over to the large tub and stick a finger inside. The water is not too hot and not too cool. It is a perfect, soothing temperature. “Could you leave me to my bath?”

 

        “No can do! Shining said I had to bathe you!”

 

        “I am perfectly capable of doing that myself,” you state.

 

        “Orders are orders,” she replies.

 

        “...I suppose. Turn around while I unclothe.” You wait until she looks away before you begin to strip the undergarments off. Just as you finish, she turns around, forcing you to cover your shame. “Turn around, you damnable horse!”

 

        She giggles happily and replies, “I’m not a horse, silly! I’m a pony. It sounded weird how you wanted me to turn around, just so you could get out of your clothes! For all I know, you were going to prank me!”

 

        You just stare at her, while she looks to you with wide eyes, and a large smile. Eventually, you sigh and shuffle into the water. You sit down in the large pool of water and grab handfuls of foam, examining it.

 

        “You’re so silly! The foam isn’t for playing!”

 

        “The foam is nothing like I have ever seen. Soap should be in a bar, not foam.”

 

        “Oh, of course! I forgot the shampoo!” She levitates a bottle to you. You grab the bottle and begin rubbing it against yourself, in attempt to clean. “That’s not how you use shampoo, silly! You open it and scrub yourself!”

 

        “Open it? Pass me my blade.”

 

        “Why would you need a blade? You open it like this.” She grabs the bottle from your hands with magic, and the top opens at an angle. You take hold of the bottle once more and stare at it. After a while, you look up to see the maid stripping.

 

        “What are you doing?”

 

        “I’m going to help you,” she says, as she finishes taking off her clothes.

 

        “I have already let you stay long enough. Your services are no–” She cuts you off by jumping into the tub, sending water and foam flying. She sits in front of you, smiling like a child while you stare. You wipe the foam off your face, without batting an eye. “Get out.”

 

        “Sorry, but you need help.” She takes the bottle and levitates it upside down, over your head. You cannot see what she is doing, but you feel a cool fluid on your head. “Bend over,” she says.

 

        “… Pardon?”

 

        “Bend over. I can’t reach your hair from here.” Knowing there is no point in arguing with someone who will not listen, you comply. She uses her hooves and begins scrubbing. Unlike the rugged hooves the equines on earth have, her hooves are soft like silk.

 

        “Your hooves are like silk,” you say.

 

        “They’re just like anypony’s.”

 

        “I would not know.”

 

        “Well, you do now!” she says, as she begins to lighten up on the scrubbing. “Okay, time to rinse!” You look up at her; she looks back with an expectant smile. You grab a bucket on the side of the tub and fill it with water, before you dump it over your head. After you rinse the soap off, you go to stand but the maid stops you. “We’re not done yet! We have to wash your body as well, silly!”

 

        You sigh and sit back down. She pours more of the substance from the bottle and lathers your body with it. She climbs all over you and scrubs, trying to create foam everywhere on your body. Eventually, you are covered in soap and somehow she has ended up on your back. The smooth fur on her belly rubs against you, causing you to relax a bit more. As she finishes, she crawls back in front of you.

 

        “Okay, time to rinse!” You fill the bucket with more water and douse yourself. You repeat the process until you are free of soap.  As you stand up to leave, she calls, “Hey, what about me?”

 

        “What about you?” you ask, stopping to look at her.

 

        “You didn’t wash me! That isn’t fair,” she says, pouting.

 

        “I never agreed to anything; you were the one to jump in when I said not to.” You continue to stand, and just as you are about to leave the tub, a small whimper stops you. You look at the maid, and tears begin to form in her eyes. You sigh, knowing you are going to regret your answer. You cannot stand to see another cry. “Fine.”

 

        “Yay!” She immediately stops pouting and turns around. Lord have mercy, these ponies are so human-like. You sit back down and grab the shampoo bottle and hit the bottom a few times, trying to figure it out. Eventually you realize you need to squeeze it. You begin to empty some of the contents onto her mane. You begin to lather the shampoo into it, causing bubbles to form. Eventually, you grab the bucket and pour water over her mane, clearing it of the soap and bubbles. “You’re really good at washing!”

 

        “Hands,” is all you reply. You pour the bottle contents onto her fur and begin to lather it in. Good God, even her coat is soft. It feels like freshly woven fine silk. As you continue to massage her, she begins to sigh and hum happily.

 

        “Your hands feel nice,” she coos.

 

        “So does your coat,” you reply. After you feel she has been scrubbed enough, you rinse her off with a bucket of water.

 

        “Thank you!” she says, as you finish rinsing her. She turns around and smiles, before she stands up and jumps out of the tub. Her horn glows and a towel wraps around her. After she’s done drying, she puts back on her outfit. She grabs another towel from a cabinet and replaces the one she used. “Bye, mister!” she calls, trotting out of your quarters with your clothes in tow.

 

        “…You are welcome?” you blink. You stand up and rinse the remaining soap on you, before draining the water. You get out of the tub and dry yourself with the freshly replaced towels. Having nothing else to wear, you leave the bathroom to grab your other clothes from the nightstand; the clothes are missing.

 

        "Maids," you sigh. You search the wardrobes in hopes of finding something. After rummaging for a while, you find nothing. Eventually, you grow tired and give up. After taking one last stretch, you climb into the large bed for a night’s rest.

 

You are Shining Armor.

 

        After you leave Anonymous’s quarters, you quickly called for a maid. You explained to her she needed to stay and clean Anonymous, after explaining the situation. How the hay does a noble not know what a bath is for? you think.

 

        After that, you traversed the halls to Princess Celestia’s study room. You knock on the door and it opens. “Princess,” you say, saluting.

 

        “Come in, Lieutenant Shining Armor,” she replies, motioning you inside. You trot inside the room and she closes the door behind you. “We need to talk. What is your opinion on Anonymous?”

 

        “He could potentially be a threat if given the chance. Currently, he is a potential ally and a trump card. As an alien to the land, we could simply deny knowing him should he fail in political diplomacy.”

 

        “Have you noticed anything else?”

 

        “He appears to have no knowledge of magic.”

 

        “Then it appears we share similar notions. If Anonymous truly does not know about magic, perhaps we should discover his intentions to see if he can be trusted.”

 

        “Yes, Princess,” you state. You bow once more and turn to leave the room. Halfway there, Princess Celestia calls out.

 

        “One last thing, Shining. Make sure the guards are specifically unicorns. You’ve seen how he dispatched Sergeant Leaf. We need guards that can subdue him in a moment’s notice.”

 

        “As you command, Princess.” You walk out of the room to enjoy the rest of the night. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.