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Vidyanon: Fucking Triumph

By: Albert_Reginald on Apr 27th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 6.46 KB  |  hits: 273  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Anon surveyed the piece of machinery carefully, making sure not to hit the trigger
  2. "So...what the fuck's a portal gun supposed to do?"
  3. >He aimed at a tree and fired at the trunk
  4. >A blue ball of energy with three spinning trails flew from the front of the device, but when it hit the tree nothing happened
  5. >The color of the blue light on the top of the portal gun changed to orange
  6. "...Okay."
  7. >Anon, stumped with the function of the device after just one test, slung it over his neck and left the park
  8. >He walked through town firing the device at random ponies to test it out
  9. >Nothing ever happened no matter how many p0nies he shot with the thing
  10. >Anon just thought it was funny when each p0ny would cower or run screaming
  11. >Learning to use the portal gun was entertaining, to say the least
  12. >Especially when Anon figured out about the zero-point energy field manipulator
  13. >He picked up nearly everything, from apples to fillies, and shot whatever he found in any random direction
  14. >Except for the fillies
  15. >He just freaked them out by picking them up
  16. >Anon's not a heartless bastard
  17. >Anon had just finished firing a chicken high into the air, watching it freak out and flap its wings to glide down safely
  18.  
  19. That's not the proper use of the device
  20.  
  21. Tutorial Activated
  22.  
  23. "Tutorial? What do I-"
  24. >Anon froze in place with a defiant expression
  25.  
  26. OKAY, -NOW- DEEP IN THE RECESSES OF ANON'S MIND
  27.  
  28. >Anon opened his eyes and widened them in surprise shortly after
  29. >Four walls and a ceiling of a blue grid-like surface surrounded him
  30. >He was still holding the portal gun
  31. >Suddenly two pillars, one taller than the other, with an extended wall on the top of each rose from the grid
  32. >Looking at the bottom of the first pillar, Anon noticed an arrow pointed at it with words underneath
  33.  
  34. Fire the first portal here
  35.  
  36. >He obeyed the words and aimed at the base of the pillar, pulling the trigger
  37. >An orange energy ball similar to the blue one earlier flew from the end of the portal gun
  38. >Once it struck the pillar's base an orange oval with what looked like orange static in the center appeared
  39. >Anon raised an eyebrow
  40. "Alright...now what?"
  41. >He looked at the top of the pillar to see another arrow pointing to the extended wall, words underneath this one as well
  42.  
  43. Fire the second portal here
  44.  
  45. >Anon did as the words instructed and the earlier blue energy ball flew out
  46. >Once the shot struck the wall, the orange static of the bottom portal disappeared
  47. >Anon walked into the portal, walking out on top of the pillar
  48. "Well...makes sense."
  49.  
  50. Would you like to continue the tutorial?
  51.  
  52. "Nnope!"
  53.  
  54. >Anon rose from the cot he was lay...wait a minute
  55. "Where the fuck am I?"
  56. >Darkness surrounded him
  57. >The only thing visible around him was the cot and wooden floor, thanks to a single light coming from the sky
  58. >The map showed exactly the same
  59. "Hellooo?"
  60. >"heLlo, AnoN."
  61. >A machine-like voice that seemed to change tone with each word greeted him
  62. >Though machine-like, it still seemed to give off a sort of softness in the way it spoke
  63. >Regardless, hearing this nearly made Anon shit his pants, but thanks to his strength upgrade he was able to clinch back the mighty log attempting to force its way through his anus
  64. >A red light appeared in the darnkess
  65. "Who are you and where have you taken me?"
  66. >Anon pointed the portal gun at the red light
  67. >The map started flashing
  68.  
  69. Rape Detected
  70.  
  71. >A red dot, larger than Anon's black dot made itself known in the darkness on his map
  72. "Fluttershy, if that's you, put that laser pointer down. And turn on the lights, dammit."
  73. >"o-OkaY, anOn."
  74. >The lights flipped on immediately after she spoke
  75. >What a surprise, they were in Fluttershy's cottage
  76. >That's what Anon would've said, if the place hadn't undergone serious rennovation
  77. >The walls were...taller..and significantly whiter
  78. >And very very flat
  79. >Fluttershy, on the other hand, was the most unexpected thing in the room
  80. >Anon nearly shit himself once more
  81. >A series of wires hanging from the ceiling met with a tube-like mechanism
  82. >At the end of the 'tube' was what looked like an eyeball with several like it attached in different places
  83. >The 'eyeball' at the end of the protrusion sported pink hair
  84. "Fluttershy...robots aren't my fetish."
  85. >"dARn iT!"
  86. >Anon shook his head
  87. "How did you get me here, anyway?"
  88. >Applejack crawled out from under the cot and waved enthusiastically at Anon
  89. >Anon gave the most deadpan look possible...
  90. >Then he shot a portal underneath Applejack and one at a point high up on the wall
  91. >Applejack fell through the portals and landed with a hard thud
  92. >Out cold
  93. >"sOrrY aNoN, bUt i cAN't leT You lEaVE."
  94. >Fluttershy released a red blinking ball out of nowhere
  95. >It landed on Anon, blowing bloody Anon chunks everywhere
  96.  
  97. Continue?...
  98. 10...
  99. 9...
  100.  
  101. "Dammit. Fucking continue."
  102.  
  103. >Anon stood in the white room once more
  104. >"sOrrY aNoN, bUt i cAN't leT You lEaVE."
  105. >Fluttershy released a red blinking ball out of nowhere
  106. >Anon, armed with the powerful weapon of prior knowledge stepped out of the way, allowing the bomb to detonate at a safe proximity
  107. >Anon pointed a finger at FlutterDoS
  108. "Aha! Fuck you and your fancy explosives! You don't have shit on m-"
  109. >Another red blinking ball landed on Anon, obliterating him again
  110.  
  111. Continue?...
  112. 10...
  113. 9...
  114.  
  115. "Motherfucker, CONTINUE!"
  116.  
  117. >Anon stood in the white room once more
  118. >"sOrrY aNoN, bU-"
  119. >Anon, ignoring the sentence, took this time to fire a portal where the first bomb would land, then another in a different location still on the ground
  120. >Fluttershy finished her sentence and dropped a bomb thorough the portal
  121. >The momentum of the fall caused the bomb to fly up and blow a hole in the ceiling, revealing the moon
  122. >Anon received the best idea fucking ever
  123. >He fired a portal underneath FlutterDoS and aimed at the moon, firing another
  124. >Seconds after firing at the moon, the sound of air being sucked into the vaccuum of space filled the room
  125. >FlutterDoS unfortunately was above the receiving end of the moon portal
  126. >The vacuum of space proved too powerful, and she...it...whatever was ripped from the ceiling and sucked into space
  127. >Anon, seeing this, closed the portals with the alternate trigger
  128. >He lay there on the ground for a few seconds before getting up and slinging the portal gun over his neck
  129. "Awwriiight!"
  130. >Anon pumped a fist in the air
  131. >He turned around, noticing Applejack's still unconscious form
  132. >Anon then proceeded to sending Applejack flying through the air with the help of the portal gun
  133. "This is fun!"
  134. >Anon spent several hours doing this...
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