Estrus and All its Glory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHBuKmyhbtQ

Trying for some comedy here. Bear with me.

 

0:00-0:09

>Oh fuck

 

>Oh fuck

 

>Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuuuuuck

>Time to run

 

>Why today of all days?

>You had to help at Sweet Apple Acres

>On the beginning of mating season

>Oh no, you could've just ducked out of helping

>But you just haaad to promise Granny Smith

>Well now you're paying for it

>Sprinting like hell through the fields

>Jumping the fence to get out of here

>The thick forest is just beyond that

>Its sanctuary isn't all that soothing seeing as your ass is still being hunted down

>You dash through the forest to get away from your pursuer

>You run into at least three trees out of panic

0:31-0:33

>Kinda dizzy after those trees

>The sound of hooves not far behind you

>You pass up some wildlife and what you hope isn't a manticore

>This is bad

>Really bad

>This p0ny chasing you

>On mating fucking season

>You trip and get a foot caught in some vines

0:51-0:58

>A stream of 'fucks' leaves your mouth as you frantically try to get free

>Panic like crazy

>Finally get free

>Still running for your life

>And pony virginity

>Cursing to yourself for even thinking of coming to the home of your number one fan/rapist on the first day of mating season

>God you're an idiot

>Get out of the forest and sprint past Fluttershy's cottage

>Contemplate where to go

>Home won't be safe

>She can buck the damn door down like nothing

>Rainbow's place isn't safe either

>She'll know where I ran to since I'm not home. Besides, she'll have be before Dash even hears me

>Hear whooshing sound from behind

>Duck and roll, keeping the same speed

>Barely dodge Applejack's lasso

>Glance behind you

> The lasso comes back and hits her in the face

>She's really pissed now

>Well fuck

>The fear of what's going to happen now fuels your tired ass

>You run as fast as your tired legs can carry you

>"GAWSH DARN IT!"

>Oh fuck

>It's like Adam Jensen switched legs with you instantly

>You're running at the speed of twenty scared Anons

>Where to go where to go

>Sugarcube Corner

>Run through Ponyville to get to Sugarcube Corner

>Glance behind you again

>No Applejack...for now

>Bust through the double doors of the Cakes' restaurant

>"Well hi, An-"

"You didn't see me. I was never here."

>Mrs. Cake gives you a strange look

>You sprint upstairs and bang on Pinkie's door

>She opens it almost instantly

>"Anon! You're just in time!"

"In time? For what?"

>"Duh! Gummy's birthday is today!"

>Motherfucker

"Listen Pinkie, I'm try-"

>"Trying to be the first here? Well you are! I'm so glad and look! Gummy is too!"

>She turns around and shows the expressionless alligator sitting on her back

>He blinks

"That's great Pinkie but-"

>"Oh this party's gonna be great! Everyp0ny's going to have so much fun!"

"Pinkie wait, you-"

>She gasps

>"You're right! Gummy shouldn't be out here! He might see the cake that's coming up any second now! That would ruin the surprise!"

>You hold Pinkie's face to your own by her cheeks

"Pinkie!"

>She's smiling. "Yeeeeesss?"

"Applejack's chasing me down and I need someplace to hide!"

>She laughs. "Why didn't you just say so?"

>facepalm

>"But wait. The party's starting soon and everyp0ny is gonna be here."

>That's not good

>Well you lived a good life of p0ny virginity

>Wait a second

>First day of mating season

>Thankfully Pinkie's not all over you

>But everyp0ny else is going to be here

>Oh man this is really really not good

 

>"You don't have to stay if you don't want to, Anon. I understand."

>Pinkie looks sad

>You swear you could see her mane straighten out somewhat

>Damn you and your emotions

>You sigh

"I'll stay, Pinkie."

>She immediately lights up and zipz over to you

>Almost instantly you have a party hat on your head

>Even though she didn't put it on, Pinkie has one on too

>Gummy is chewing on his

>Pinkie brings a boombox out of nowhere and sets it on a table

>She hits play

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pawIt27Dzp8

 

>Goddamn

>Pinkie hits stop and switches tracks

>"Hehe, sorry. That's music for...other stuff."

>Contemplate what Pinkie does in her spare time

>Knock knock

>Twilight opens the door and walks in

>She's followed by Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack

>Applejack spots you and snorts in your direction

>Yep, she's still pissed

>The party begins

>Everything's pretty awesome. Especially when the Cakes' bring in Gummy's cake

>Three layer with the words "Happy Birthday Gummy" on it, each word being on a different layer

>You can't shake the feeling of eyes watching you the whole time

>It's obvious who's keeping tabs on you. Silly Anon

 

>Party lasts a few hours

>Cake is had accompanied by awesome beats and lots of dancing

>A few of the ponies seem to grind on you during the dancing

>Fucking mating season

>Your jimmies soon stop rustling after you exit the dance floor

>You forget about Applejack and enjoy yourself

>Party's nearing its end

>Twilight leaves first. Rarity does the same a short time later but not without giving you a seductive glance. Rainbow stays behind to chill with her bro

>You're both enjoying some awesome punch

>Obviously spiked

>Fluttershy leaves after some time, realizing there's no chance of getting in your pants tonight

>She places a note on your lap before hastily heading out the door

>You place it in your pocket, really not in the mood to read whatever scribbled on it

>All that's left is Applejack, Pinkie Pie and your bro

>Pinkie lives here so obviously she's not leaving

>Applejack's trying to stay in conversation with her

>It seems like an excuse to stay and watch what you do next

>You and Rainbow are chilling on Pinkie's bed

"Bro, you notice Applejack's been staring at me all this time, right?"

>"Yeah? hehe...*hic*, I don't really blame her...you're lookin' pretty good right now..."

>She's pretty gone

>You barely feel buzzed

>Applejack looks over to you and smiles

>No worries because you got your bro to watch your back

>You look over to her

>She's passed out

>Shit

>"Ah'll see ya later, Pinkie. Ah got some stuff ta do back home."

>She walks over to you

>"Well lookie there, Rainbow done fell asleep."

>Your jimmies have never been this rustled before

>She leaves

>You help Pinkie clean up to postpone leaving

 

>You finish up and say goodnight to Pinkie Pie

>You head home carrying Rainbow on your back

>You quicken your pace a bit once you get outside of Sugarcube Corner

>Finally make it home

>Attempt to unlock the door, finding out it's already open

"Oh come on..."

>Slowly make your way inside and walk upstairs, setting Rainbow on your bed

>Carefully walk downstairs, trying not to make a sound

>When you get there, you hear a click and a light comes on

>The light reveals Applejack sitting on your armchair

>"Ah was wonderin' when you'd get back, Anon."

>You slowly edge towards the kitchen hoping to get closer to the back door

>"Ah gotta repay you fer all that work you did today an' all, right?"

>She gets up from the armchair and follows you slowly

>"After all, ya didn't even take yer pay."

"That's because it was tied to your tail dangling right in front of...ugh.."

>"Well it don't matter now, sugarcube. 'Cause yer gettin' paid in full right here an' now."

>She charges you

>Break for the back door

>Too late

>Applejack's pinning your front to the door while she grinds your backside with her body

>"This is gonna happen whether ya like it or not, sugarcube!"

>The fuck it is

>Attempt to buck Applejack off your backside by pushing against the door

>"Heh, yer resistance only makes mah lust stronger!"

>Must. Escape. Crazy. P0ny.

 

>She continues to rub against your backside

>She doesn't notice you position a foot beside her back hooves

>You sweep her hooves to the side and she loses her balance, falling on your kitchen floor

>You pull the door open and burst outside away from the rapist p0ny

>Luckily she's still getting back on her hooves

>You quickly run to the bridge and jump into the river water, staying submerged under the bridge

>You hold your breath for as long as you can

>Can't take it anymore. Resurface as quiet as possible, still underneath the bridge

>"Ah know yer here somewhere, sugarcube!" Is all you can make out before you hear hooves dashing across the bridge

>Wait a few minutes

>The coast seems clear

>You get out of the river, soaking wet, and make your way back home

>Get inside, go upstairs and dry off

>Dash is laying on the left side of the bed

>Sporting pajama pants, you release a sigh of relief and lay on the right side of your bed

>Dash turns to you and throws her front left leg over your chest

>"So, how was it?"

"How was...Oh you're messed up. You were awake the whole time!"

>She begin to laugh her flank off

>"Yeah I was. We haven't been running as much lately and I figured you needed some exercise!"

>You punch her side

"You're fucked up, you know that?"

>You say this with a smile

>She laughs again

>"Yeah, I know."

>You both knock out

 

END