Malus Equestria - Chapter 1

>"Come on. Move!"

>Twilight Sparkle stares angrily at the wriggling mass of flesh trapped inside a glass dome on her desk.

>The recently ascended princess flips through her notes before sighing in frustration.

>"Chaos Worms are supposed to… cause chaos!"

>*Poke* *Poke*

>She prods the bunch of invertebrates in an attempt to cause a reaction.

>…

>Nothing.

>*Yawn*

>"I guess I'll just have to finish this experiement tomorrow."

>The purple p0ny huffs out of her workroom, leaving her little experiment to pulsate alone in the dark.

"Ha ha ha ha ha…"

>Your form silently shifts back into it's usual discordant physique, and you gleefully toss the lampshade from your disguise off frame.

>As you wring your hands menacingly, the Chaos Worms take note of their master and begin to spell out a phrase.

>HEY_BOSS

"Not very poetic. I'm frozen in stone for… how many years?"

>*Slither*

>1,037

"Right, 1,037 years- and that's all you have to say?"

>MEH

"Ooh, I have missed my sarcastic slimeballs so much!"

>You pat the mound before bringing your face close to eye your minions.

"Hmm… One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is…

>A quick tap on a Chaos Worm and a bright flash later, a single worm is-

"GONE! Ah ha ha ha! This should take that pretentious princess down a peg… asus wing… *snort* or two!"

>The Chaos Worms crawl into position as you guffaw to yourself.

>1,037_YEARS_IS_A_LONG_TIME

>*Slide*

>YOUR_SENSE_OF_HUMOR

>*Slide*

>IS_OUTDATED_A_BIT

>…

>You really should teleport them into the sun for that.

>They're just lucky that you are more interested in causing some chaos, and a missing mound of mucus-eaters may cause more mayhem with Sparkle than you can manage.

>That, and Celestia didn't exactly enjoy the last time you teleported a throbbing piece of meat inside her.

>With your task completed, you give a final laugh before warping back to Canterlot.

>This should be fun.

 

>*Chirp* *Chirp*

>The morning sun casts its rays over the hillside at Sweet Apple Acres prompting the birds to begin their early song.

>For you, however, work started thirty minutes ago.

>"All right, Anon. We only got three acres ta harvest today, so enjoy the slow day!"

>You chuckle quietly to yourself.

>A 'slow day' huh?

>An orange mare taps her hoof impatiently beneath you as you collect some straggler apples hanging high in a tree.

>She starts walking once you jump down and dump your small collection of fruit into the wagon behind her.

>It's hard work here on the farm, but hey, what can you say?

>You love apples.

>It's one of the few Equestrian foods that you can regularly enjoy with others, and the work manages to keep you in shape.

>Really it's a win-win.

>*Crack*

>Applejack bucks another tree, causing it's products to fall into the wagon.

>"Anon."

>You nod to the earthp0ny and swiftly climb the tree, once again picking the few remaining apples hidden amongst the leaves.

>It's nice working with AJ, she has an almost perfect buck, occasionaly missing only 3 - 5 apples per tree per kick.

>Big Mac has a better record, but is not as much fun to work with.

>Still, he's much better than Applebloom.

>The one time you worked with her, she got almost no apples on any buck.

>You snuck around the backs of the trees and hit them the same time she did to get her a better yield.

>She was just so excited that she was bouncing off the walls at the end of the day.

>Sure, you might have collapsed when you got home that night, but seeing that little filly smile so big…

>Well, sentimentality isn't something you like to devote time to.

>…

>It was worth it though.

>You return to the world of the working and jump back to the ground.

"All clean, you got 'em all that time."

>Applejack adjusts her stetson and grins.

>"Ah told ya' Ah'm gettin' better. Might not need ya' pretty soon…"

>She winks at you, letting you know that she's joking before she pulls the cart to another tree.

*Crack*

>Up you go.

>For the first few branches, everything seems fine.

>Then you see it.

>A great, big, juicy red apple, right near the top of the tree.

>You climb up next to it and pluck it with a satisfying snap.

>It's almost too beautiful for words.

>The skin texture is smooth without being glossy and the-

>*pop*

>A worm burrows out of the apple and wiggles, almost as if waving at you.

>So much for beautiful.

>You bleakly toss the apple over your shoulder, taking care to not have it fall into the wagon.

>One bad apple and such…

>"Oh, Anon! Giving me gifts already? You do move fast."

>The whole world seems to go quiet as you slowly turn to face your unsolicited guest.

>Fluttershy is licking the apple.

>Licking might not be a strong enough verb actually, slobbering seems more appropriate.

>Sensing that things are about to get wierd-

>"Mmmmm *Slurp* Mmmmmmmm"

>…

> -er, you climb down the tree.

>"What took ya' so long, Anon?"

"Sorry Applejack. Looks like you got everything in this tree too, on to the next one?"

>The farmp0ny raises an eyebrow before nodding.

>"Well alright then."

>The rest of the day goes by without incident.

>Fluttershy must have thought fruit licking or something equally stupid was your fetish.

>God, every day with that fetish crap!

>When Applejack had first described her to you, she made Fluttershy sound like some kind of p0ny Jane Goodall.

>But in reality, she's just a animal enthusiast with a creepy obsession for you.

>You might have taken it as misguided affection, but ever since the swimsuit incident she's been getting worse.

>She's woken you up at 3:00 AM before to "serenade" you.

>Others would say she tried to blow you while singing, again, at 3:00 AM.

>And the Twinkie incident-

*Gag*

>"You ok there, sugarcube?"

>Applejack places a hoof on your back and hands you a cold mug of cider.

"Heh heh, yeah."

>You take a swig of the sweet beverage.

*Glup*

"Ah~ Just, remembered something bad. How are we looking?"

>The orange farmp0ny frowns and downs a few gulps of cider from her own mug.

>"Well, the summer harvest is almost over, but we still have a fourth of the total crop ta' do."

>She sighs, frustrated, before sitting next to you on the Apple family porch.

>The glow of the setting sun transforms the orchards into beautiful shades of red and orange.

>You close your eyes and breath in the delectable scent of blossoming apples.

>Now would probably be a good time.

"Hey Applejack, I-"

>"Anon! Hey, Anon!"

>Applebloom runs around the corner of the house, dressed in a garish mask and cape.

>Behind her are her cohorts and fellow fillies, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

>Both are, of course, wearing their own masks of equal, and somehow in Sweetie Belle's case; more, garishness.

>You know something bad is about to happen, but just look at those faces!

>How could you run and hide from those?

"Yes? What is it?"

>The trio arrive at the porch side and begin speaking at Mach 5.

>"We know how we can get our cutie marks!"

>"Yeah! All we need to do-"

>The orange pegasus moves to the left.

>"-is become…"

>Sweetie moves to the right.

>Each strikes a dramatic pose that would embarrass Captain Ginyu himself before screaming in unison.

>"Cutie Mark Crusader Luchadores!"

>…

>Thi-

>You-

>Wha-

>…

>Applejack's and yours stares of confusion must have been some kind of silent GO! switch, because the young p0nies spring into action.

>"Get him!"

>All three of the Cutie Mark Crusader Luchadores tackle you.

>"I, La Campana, will take his leg!"

>Sweetie Belle hugs your leg in an adorable attempt to suplex you.

>"I, Aventador de el Arco Iris, will take his stomach!"

>Scootaloo grapples with your abdomen.

>"And I, La Manzana" will take his head!"

>Applebloom tugs at your neck.

>Their antics cause you to burst out in laughter.

>"Girls, get off've Anon! He and Ah were talkin'!"

>The trio groan and release their 'strangle hold' on you.

>"We were just tryin' ta' get our cutie marks… Now we'll never know if this was how we'd do it..."

>Defeated, they hang their heads and sulk.

>Uh oh, sadness…

>Not something children should have to deal with.

"Bwa! HA! HA! You niñas thought you could defeat-"

>You quickly take of your shirt and take out your pocket knife.

>A few cuts here, a few tears there, and you've done the mask of-

"El Mono Mano!"

>You wink at Applejack and she shakes her head while chuckling.

>The CMCL's faces light up as you rush towards them, flexing theatrically all the way.

>Guess it wasn't the right time after all, but that doesn't matter…

>All three luchadores grab your right shin and attempt to lift you.

>Playing along, you and throw yourself over them, landing in a puddle of mud near the water pump.

>You can always show Applejack later.

>Laughter rolls over the hillsides as the smiling faces of three little fillies outshines even the brilliance of the evening sky.

 

>[Later that night]

>"G'night Granny."

>You shut Granny Smith's door and trot over to Applebloom's room to check on her.

>She's sound asleep.

>Playing with Anon really tired her out.

>A grin spreads across your face as you return to your room for the night.

>He's really great.

>How he manages to have so much energy at the end of the day, you'll never know.

>Crawling into bed, you picture him in his silly outfit.

>White mask stained with mud and sweat.

>His strong build glistening in the sunlight…

"Woah there girl, back up!"

>You shake your head to get rid of the image.

>What are you doing?

>You can't just imagine something like THAT with someone.

>Besides, Anon would never-

>You curl up under the covers of your bed.

>With you…

>…

>At least you will see him again tomorrow.