- >It's quiet.
- >Too quiet...
- >You pant heavily as you run through the forest.
- >Why did this have to happen to you?
- >You never asked for this!
- >"Anon~ Come out, come out wherever you are!"
- >You take cover behind a tree.
- >"Wanker, you gave away our position!"
- >Peering out from your cover, you see Twilight conversing with a tall Australian man on a hill.
- >"Sorry, I'm just so excited! With my brains and your marksmanship, there's no way we'll lose."
- >Twilight's expression becomes menacing.
- >"And then Anon will be all mine!"
- >She begins to jump up and down while shouting, much to the chagrin of her partner.
- >"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"
- >You take this opportunity to escape.
- >Twilight's companion notices you fleeing and raises his gun.
- >His crosshairs center on your shrinking silhouette as his finger squeezes the trigger.
- >"Yes, yes-"
- >Twilight collides with his gun, throwing of the Sniper's aim.
- *Bang*
- >A clean miss, but you don't slow down, lest he take another shot.
- >"Bloody hell, you stupid p0ny!"
- >Twilight smiles apologetically.
- >"Heh, heh, sorry."
- >Ok, that's two down, ten left.
- >All you need to do is-
- *CLANG*
- "Uck-"
- >You clothesline yourself on an outstretched bat and fall to the ground.
- >"That was so awesome!"
- >Rainbow Dash squeals next to you.
- >"Yeah, well, what'd you expect from a awesome guy like me?"
- >You look up at the two speedsters standing over you.
- >"I knew we'd win, who could beat the fastest p0ny in all of Equestria?"
- >"Haha, yeah... After me."
- >"What?"
- >Rainbow looks at her Scout friend.
- >"Fastest... after me."
- >Rainbow snorts.
- >"What, you think you can outrace ME?!"
- >"Babe, I don't think, I know!"
- >You just sit and watch the conflict unfold above you.
- >"Let's settle this, right here, right now. Last one to the edge of the Forrest wins."
- >"O~hoho, you are gonna get OWNED!"
- >The two racers take their positions near a tree, with Dash performing the countdown.
- >"3... 2... 1... GO!"
- >The pegasus and the Scout sprint off, leaving a trail of dust behind them.
- >You stagger to your feet and resume your escape.
- >Only eight left.
- >You're about half of the way through the forest at this point.
- >Once you get back to Ponyville, you'll be safe.
- >Through the trees, you can see a small river flowing.
- >Feeling thirsty from your run, you decide to take a quick detour.
- *Gulp* *Gulp*
- >Ah~ That hit the spot!
- >You dry your face against your arm and replace your glasses.
- >once you can see clearly again, you see a beautiful woman standing on the other side of the river.
- >...
- >She's naked.
- >Oh my~
- >You look away, attempting to not make the situation awkward.
- >"Dear, are you alright?"
- >Glancing back at the woman-
- >SWEET CRYSTAL DRAGON JESUS TAKE THE SPACE WHEEL!
- >She's right next to you, breasts pressing against your chest.
- >You slowly back up, but she keeps her suppleness attached to you.
- >From the corner of your eye, you see a faint shimmer.
- >That can only mean...
- >A Frenchman suddenly appears next to you.
- >"Gentleman."
- >You look at the naked woman again.
- >With a puff of smoke, Rarity materializes and makes a kissing motion.
- >"Surprise."
- >This might be it for you.
- >Forever a slave to Rarity and her domination desires.
- >With no way out, you're met with a terrible fate.
- *Fshhhhhh*
- >"AHHH!"
- >"I appear to have burst into flame!"
- >The scenery burns around you as Rarity and her Agent Provocateur ignite.
- >Out of the bushes steps a psychotic creature with no remorse and a neverending desire to burn everything.
- >Skipping behind that is the friendly Pyro.
- >Rarity and the Spy run into the river in an attempt to put out the flames.
- *Sssssssssssssssss*
- >Steam rises as the duo stand in the water.
- >"Murr hurr mphuphurrur, hurr mph phrr."
- >"Mmph mphna mprh."
- *Fshhhhhh*
- >The burning buddies blast the spies with another burst of fire.
- >Which is immediately extinguished by the water.
- *Fshhhhhh*
- >The dance of ignite and extinguish never ends.
- >Using steam to hide from the crazies, you grab your trusty crowbar and sneak away.
- >You manage to reach the edge of the forest without any more complications.
- >The Apple family homestead looms on the horizon, meaning only one thing.
- *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
- >You dive behind a tree, narrowly avoiding the hail of firepower assaulting the area.
- >"Yee~ Haw!"
- >"P0ny up boys!"
- >"And just what *hic* is that supposed to mean?"
- >Applejack gives her Texan friend an offended look.
- >They both stare at each other before laughing.
- >Several beer bottles are dislodged from their resting place, smashing on the ground below.
- >A carpet of glass implies they've been drinking for some time.
- >"See! I knew if we waited *hic* Anon would come crawling to me!"
- >"We got 'Em!"
- >The Engi removes his hardhat and waves it around.
- >You sneak between the trees, avoiding the turret's field of vision and flanking it.
- >When you reach position, you strike.
- >With a few whacks of your mighty crowbar, the machine is broken and you make a mad dash toward Ponyville.
- >"Con' sarn it!"
- >Applejack takes another swig of her drink then smiles.
- >"Doesn't matter much. If just one of us catches the varmint, we all get him..."
- *Hic*
- >With the rest of the mane six behind you, all that remains is Fluttershy.
- >You skulk along the side of the road, watching for the yellow rapist.
- >There is a huge figure lumbering towards you.
- >You can hear the intimidating shouts from here.
- >"Ooohhhh, run, run, I'm coming for you!"
- >"Slow down, you buffoon!"
- >That didn't sound like Flutterrape...
- >"Uh oh! I think someone soiled diaper!"
- >"T-Trixie did no such thing!"
- >The Heavy Russian runs right past your hiding spot carrying a flabbergasted Trixie on his back.
- >Who knew she wanted you too?
- >As the unlikely pair rushes out of sight, you begin the journey to safety once again.
- >When you reach the outskirts of Ponyville, you step out of cover and sprint along the final stretch.
- >Big mistake.
- >Explosions rain down upon you as you cross the open field.
- >"Crocket!"
- >"Couldn' y'see the bloody bombs?"
- >Laughter fills the air, contrasting disturbingly with the never-ending *Boom*s.
- >You see Luna and Celestia standing atop buildings at the edge of the town.
- >This deal is getting worse all the time.
- >"SOON ANONYMOUS WILL BE OURS, DEAR SISTER!"
- >Luna bellows across the battle field.
- >"INDEED LITTLE SISTER, HE WILL PLEASURE ME WITH HIS HOT MONKEY DICK!"
- >"US, DEAR SISTER, HE WILL FILL "US" WITH HIS ENORMOUS GIRTH."
- >Celestia glares at Luna.
- >"WHY MUST WE SHARE EVERYTHING?! IF I WANT TO TORTURE ANON WHILE HE INJECTS HIS HOT COOM INTO ME, WHAT BUSINESS OF IT IS YOURS?"
- >Luna is taken aback by her sister's comment.
- >"GREAT SCOTTSMAN, DESTROY OUR SISTER'S SOLDIRE!"
- >"G.I. JANE, THIS IS WAR!"
- >The two explosives experts look at each other and shrug.
- >Then open fire.
- >...
- >On each other.
- >...
- >At point blank range.
- >Gibs shower the area as you enter town and make a run for the square.
- >You've almost won your freedom.
- >There it is!
- >Town square.
- >Once you reach the center, all these illusions will disappear and you can begin your normal, p0ny-rape free life.
- >When you reach the edge of the square, a yellow mass plows into you, knocking you over.
- *Sniiiiiiiif*
- >"Ah~h~h~"
- >Direct, isn't she?
- >You try to shove the clopping rapist off your chest, but she holds you down.
- >Grasping your trusty crowbar, you swing at the pegasus's head.
- >She glows red as your tool just bounces off.
- >Uh oh.
- >A few more whacks just hurt your hand causing you to drop the crowbar in frustration.
- >"Zis was doctor-assisted rape!"
- >You forgot the number one rule.
- >Always go for the Medic first.
- >And that's how you ended up:
- >Fucking Ubershy.
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