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Normal Norman Oneshots 10/30/13

By: Ahugefuckingtool on Aug 15th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 52.00 KB | hits: 42 | expires: Never

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I recently started writing for a really young thread called Normal Norman as Tool for a name. In the new Equestrian Girls movie one character in the background has the only feasible skin tone, therefor he is 'normal'. He ended up being pretty easy to write so I did most of it for practice.
Basic plot at the beginning of every thread:
This is Normal Norman. Your everyday high school student, born in Philadelphia pennsylvania. Not long ago, he moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Even though he is a cool, normal kid, that likes to play X-box in his free time, he will face some strange problems in his new life.
This is his story.
>being Norman
>Parents got a new Job in another town so we have to moon
>I got transfered to the local school
>first day in new school
>What is wrong with these people and their colored skin?
>they hear me
>"OMG SO RACIST"
>"Yeah, check your privilege, white scum."
>People start calling me a skin head.
>It's going to be a long year
--------------------------------------------------------
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1IYvVH8srEd
Day Halloween in Equestria high.
>Today is Halloween in school.
>The school decided that a school orientated party would be better.
>Considering the amount of kids that can get their hands on alcohol, it would be better if they had an eye on most of the kids.
>When Purple asked you what it was she started ranting about moon goddesses and nightmares.
>Fucking Purp.
>Tonight is the party and you got the perfect costume ready.
>You look inside of your closet and pull out a perfect Flash costume replica.
>After putting it on you instantly feel fast as shit.
>One final piece and it'll be complete.
>You reach inside of your closet door and pull out two painted Nike shoes that have been made to look like part of the outfit.
>Now you feel like a real badass.
>
>At school.
>The party is getting good, it's almost at full swing.
>There's Purple and the other girls, might wanna say hi.
>"Hey girls, what's up?"
>"OOOOO, Norman you look fast!" -said Pink while pointing to your costume.
>"Thanks, you look pretty good dressed as Sherlock Holmes."
>Looking at the rest of the girls you see that they have some pretty zany costumes on to.
>Purple as Merlin.
>Rainbow as Jason Voorhees.
>Orange as Thor.
>Yellow as a salsa dancer.
>And the Aryan Beauty as Aphrodite. Quite fitting for a gem like her.
>"Hey Norman! Nice costume!" - said... wait, who said that?
>Brad walks up to you and pats you on the shoulder to get your attention.
>You turn around to see Brad wearing the same costume.
>"Oh you got the same costume on! Haha that's neat."
>"Thanks man!" Said Brad trying to scream past the music.
>As if on cue you both look up and down each other to see who had it better.
>Both of your eyes stop at each others feet.
>You're surprised to see that he has Adidas
>Instantly when you see that he has the worst choice of shoes on you flash him a disgusted face.
>Brad returns it with the same expression.
>"So you think you can run in those shitty shoes?" - said Brad while giving a cocky grin.
>”I could tape cardboard on my feet and run faster than those!” - you say while grabbing him by the costume.
>”You won’t be saying that when I have them buried in your ass!”
>”You wanna go punk?!”
>Suddenly Rainbow grabs you from behind and pulls you off him.
>”Knock it off you two!” -said Rainbow.
>”I’m gonna imprint my shoes in this Adidas wearing fuckers throat!”
>Pink jumps in between you and Brad.
>”Stop it you two! I’ve got an idea!” - said Pink.
>”What idea?” - asked Purple.
>”A race!”
>
>Outside.
>You and Brad are both stretching in your spandex to get ready to run as fast as possible.
>Rainbow is working you up with pep talk to get you pumped.
>”Remember, run forward, don’t look at your feet and remember to breathe!”
>”Alright, I got it.”
>You give Brad an icy cold stare.
>He seems to be unimpressed.
>Both of you march to the starting line.
>You look forward and see that the finish line is surprisingly far.
>”How now racers. Yall get into position, ya hear?” - Said Orange trying to sound like Thor.
>Brad and you kneel down.
>”On yer mark!”
>Your muscles clench.
>”Git set!”
>You raise your hip.
>”...GO!”
>Both of you take off at blinding speeds towards the finish line.
>At break neck speeds you hear the cheers of the girls egging you on.
>Suddenly you see the edges of Brad’s costume slowly crawl in front of you.
>He’s beginning to gain speed and soon you can see his whole body.
>You run as fast as you can to the other end but Brad is always one step closer.
>The finish line draws closer as Brad is getting farther.
>Suddenly you hear a voice past the screaming crowd.
>”Norman run!”
>It’s the Aryan Beauty!
>Her sweet angelic voice is like a siren call past the screaming students.
>”Run Norman you can do it! I believe in you!”
>A sudden rush of adrenaline flows through you.
>Your beauty needs you, and no Adidas wearing faggot is screwing that up!
>You begin running faster than you thought possible.
>The screams of the crowd get louder.
>Brad begins disappearing behind your vision.
>The finish line is getting closer and closer.
>Brad screams ‘no’ at the top of his lungs.
>But that doesn’t matter to you.
>[spoiler]You were born to run.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]And built to last.[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]He’ll never see your feet[/spoiler][spoiler]because you move so fast.[/spoiler]
>You cross the white line and claim victory.
>The Aryan Beauty runs to your side and you drape an arm over her.
>Brad limps over to you.
>”H-how?” - said Brad while panting.
>”Nobody beats Nike motherfucker. Nobody.”
>Make out with Aryan Beauty.
>Today was a good day.
>Day minty fucking fresh in Equestria High.
>The school is having a huge peace drive for all kinds of global problems.
>It’s an extravaganza they pull in the gym every year.
>Not that you were here last year. You’re still new to this school
>They’ve got war, poverty, racism, all that stuff.
>You were scorned by other students who said that your ‘racism’ is a global problem.
>When you met with Purple she wanted to come by to see what this racism is and why people keep saying it around you.
>Fucking Purple.
>You decide that you’ve had enough of her bullshit and walk away to who knows where.
>After walking a little you see Orange reading a public board.
>”Yo Orange what’s up?” - you ask her.
>”Oh, hey Norman. Ahm tryin’ to figure out what I can help in with the school peace drive.” - she said while looking at the options.
>”Well, what are the options?”
>”There’s settin’ up, party favors, and lights. I wrote mahself up fer music, but aint nobody want’s to sing. We can’t perform without a singer.”
>That’s true, and the entire school sucks at singing.
>You remember last music performance, yeesh that was bad.
>”Hey Norman?” - asked Orange.
>”Can you sing?”
>”What? Me? Dear god no, nuh uh, never, not in a milio-”
>”Shame, Rarity is a sucker for singers.”
>”Where do I sign?”
>
>At the peace drive.
>The place is filled with different booths dedicated to different things.
>Blood donation.
>Starving kids.
>Dictatorships.
>And racism. Complete with a picture of you.
>A few of them scream epithets at you to seal the deal.
>No point in responding to them, you got work to do.
>You move to the backstage to talk with Orange and prep things for the concert.
>Things must be perfect for the Aryan Beauties viewing pleasure.
>It doesn’t take long before you see Orange working with the amplifiers.
>”Yo Orange, what are you playing?”
>”Bass gitar.” - answers Orange blandly.
>”Okay so when are we gonna perform?”
>”’Bout an hour from now, don’t you go runnin’ off you hear?”
>
>Fifty five minutes later.
>”OH GOD, OH JESUS, OH FUCK, OH SHIT, OH HELL!”
>”Norman please calm down!” - begged Purple.
>”I can’t! I’ve never performed before! And I definitely can’t sing for shit!”
>”C’mon Norman! You can do it!” - said Pink while fanning you.
>”I don’t know Pink...”
>”Rarityyyyy~.”
>”FINE! I’ll do it.”
>”Good, now git yer act together, we’re on in two.” - says Orange as she walks away.
>Now you Purp and Pink are alone in the room.
>”Hey girls? You got a mint? All this nervousness is making my throat dry.”
>”Sure Norman, here are some mentos for you.” - said pink while handing you a package.
>You pop two in your mouth and start chewing.
>The effects are immediate.
>Your throat instantly opens.
>A cool breeze freshens your breath.
>You mouth salivates and wets your windpipe.
>”Wow Pinks, these are awesome! You’re a lifesaver!”
>Before she responds (probably with a rant) the music starts up and cuts her off.
>http://youtu.be/O6za3CcjfyY?t=41s
>”Oh my, it’s starting! Quick Norman! Put on the hat!” - said Purple while handing you an ornate headdress.
>You struggle with the hat and finally put it on successfully.
>Orange and that other not-Aryan Beauty chick with the blue hair walk on stage waving their arms and getting people to cheer for them.
>The white chick goes to the turntable and starts fiddling with things while Orange picks up the bass and starts adjusting it.
>All the instruments are playing now so you run out.
>Time to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty!
>You’re lucky you went with the hat to cover your face. If you hadn’t you’d probably be booed off the stage by now.
>It was also a good idea to wear a poncho to cover your regular clothes to.
>The crowd screams at your appearance and you reach the mic.
>You begin singing and the words flow perfectly.
>Your throat is easily opened and your breath smells amazing to boot.
>The song is full of stopping segregation talk and how the white man holds colors down.
>Kinda fitting if you wanna show that you’re not racist.
>In the song you’re dancing around and pulling out all the stops.
>You even catch a glance of the Aryan Beauty looking starry eyed.
>The song is really getting the crowd going, they’re all cheering at the top of their lungs and enjoying the music.
>The bassline is pretty kickass to.
>Eventually the song ends and the crowd goes wild.
>You take off your hat and reveal yourself to the students.
>Suddenly it goes quiet.
>”Fucking racist!” - yelled someone from the crowd.
>The others join him and boo you off the stage.
>Didn’t matter to you, the Aryan Beauty awaits!
>You spend the rest of the night making out with her while she compliments you on your breath.
>Mentos are the shit.
Holy shit someone did this:http://vocaroo.com/i/s1RxH5yeNR3U
>Day FEEL THE PAIN! in Equestria High.
>Be Norman.
>Not just regular Norman.
>The strongest fucker in the damn school Norman!
>Brad eventually gave you enough shit about him trying to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty.
>You decided not to get mad, BUT GET EVEN!
>Today you’re breaking the school's record for bench pressing the fifth time in the hour.
>"C'mon Norman! Push it!" - said the obviously inferior gym coach.
>At the count of 200 you chuck the dumbbell...
>Upwards.
>It imbeds itself inside the roof and sticks like glue.
>Okay maybe you should leave the rest of the equipment alone for the rest of the students.
>Inside the hall to your class your steps shake the room like tiny earthquakes.
>Women orgasm at the sight of your perfect biceps.
>A student dared to call you a racist and you imbed your fist in his face without looking.
>Purple passed by and and said that there was a pony just like you call Roid-Flake or something.
>Finally you meet Brad who is trying to romance the Aryan Beauty in his last minutes of breath.
>"Brad" - you say while tapping his shoulder.
>The White Angel notices you and creams at the sight.
>"What is it N-n-nn-.
>"Norman" - you respond.
>With a single clench of your muscles you break his skull.
>The Aryan Beauty has orgasmed for the six time.
>You pick her up and make out with her for the rest of the day.
>Today was a RIIIIIIIPPPPED day.
>You are Normal Norman.
>The loner, the dweeb, the nerd.
>An entire school looks down on you.
>You only have two real friends.
>Brad and Purple.
>Today you and the entire class have a field trip.
>It's the Rich.corps gamma technology research laboratory.
>There she is, the girl of your dreams.
>The Aryan Beauty.
>You're a real delusional fuck if you think she'll go for a nerd like you.
>The place has some interesting things.
>They even have an animal testing area filled with tiny spiders that they use for testing.
>"There's one missing." - said the angelic voiced Aryan Beauty.
>Whatever, time to take pictures of shit.
>You start snappin' photos left and right.
>Suddenly you get an idea.
>"Would it be okay if I take a few photos for the school paper?" - you ask the White Wonder.
>You start takin' pictures of her like a boss.
>Suddenly she walks off ;_;.
>Something bites you on the hand.
>It's one of the spiders.
>One week later.
>Your spinning webs and leaping from buildings.
>You even make out with Aryan Beauty upside down.
>You are Spider Norman.
>You are Normal Norman.
>Class geek, along with Purple.
>Brad is your only guy friend.
>He decides to run for class president.
>Decide to help him.
>Some bitch thinks she's hot shit so she runs against him.
>Seriously, she's a huge bitch.
>Get Brads gang member filled family to help.
>Big day comes.
>Whole class comes in to hear the speeches.
>Sunset bitch gives a kiss-ass speech.
>Brad didn't prepare.
>He wings it.
>Class is unamused.
>Man up and help.
>Go on stage.
>Start dancing.
>Song ends early because of Sunset bitch.
>The crowd fucking loves the performance.
>Brad wins.
>You realize you're an awesome dancer.
>You are Normal Napoleon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i46N2ZFPb0
>Be NN.
>Purple thinks that there are more doors than one to her magic horse world.
>Call her out on her bullshit.
>She says that she found one in a old house nearby.
>Follow her.
>She takes you to a nasty old closet.
>Tell her there's no way there's a horse world in that.
>She pulls you in with her.
>Get greeted by a satyr.
>Find magic world.
>Talk to a fucking lion god.
>He says there's an ice bitch lurking in the hills.
>Reluctantly you join.
>Meet an army of animal people.
>Not one is a talking pony.
>Twilight says it's the wrong world.
>Now you’re doing this for nothing.
>Jesus lion kills himself.
>He comes back like Jesus to.
>Says it was all for nothing.
>What an asshole.
>Fight ice bitch.
>Kill her.
>Claim throne.
>Purple is your queen.
>You still don't like Purp.
>Get old.
>Go down memory lane.
>Purple finds the portal.
>You both go in.
>You both come out young.
>You are Norman Pevensie.
>In Equestria High.
>Members of the board of directors are hot.
>Unreal hot blue chick is there.
>Smokin' easy 9/10
>Tell her you got the hots for her.
>Her job won't allow relationships with students.
>A real bitch to be a kid right now.
>Venture home to sulk.
>Eventually fall asleep after too much X-box.
>Dream about her.
>I only hope it was real.
>Eh, she's not really naked here.
>Damn this is an awesome dream anyway.
>And not just any dream, it was really vivid.
>Nothing other than kissing happens
>Dangerously close to popping dream boner.
>Go ahead and get one.
>Other than being surprised, she's cool with it.
>Never ending dream fuck train goes on.
>The dream ends when you do.
>On the next day of school you see her.
>Her face is beaming with a smile.
>Everything about her you want.
>And you’re gonna get her.
>Vent your frustration with masturbation.
>Eventually you give up.
>Never thought that the first letter in every line would make a sentence.
>Be Normal Norman.
>Every day you go to school there is someone calling you racist.
>There's even a death threat in the mail. That's how bad they hate you.
>You usually brush them off, but it's starting to get to you.
>Over a ridiculous amount of time you get a bunch of black friends to come to school.
>Under the protection of 'black up', no one dares to call you racist.
>Their fear is thick in the air, you can smell it...
>Racist, you scoff at that word.
>Everyone you meet wouldn't dare call you that after today!
>Internal monolog was cut by one of your black friend talking to you. "When we get our munee?"
>Did you agree to pay them? "I didn't say anything about pay."
>They begin to laugh. "Did chu tink we gonna go ta skoo fo free?"
>Okay that that was sounded pretty bad. "I'm not paying you!"
>Rage fills them like you had told them that their mothers died. They grab you by the shirt.
>Everyone in the halls are watching you. "Hey, you gib us yo muneh!"
>As a plan against racism, this is pretty bad. "Get your hands off me nigger!"
>Did you just say that out loud?
>The school gives you a deadpan glare.
>Hell, this basically seals you in as racist of the year.
>In half an hour flat you've got your ass beat so hard that you lose feeling in your face.
>Stupid black people.
[spoiler]Hidden messages are fun![/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Day muscles in Equestria High.
>Be muscle Norman.
>Twilight is winning the crown.
>Sunset Whore is stealing it while saying some shit about the principal.
>All of the sudden she goes demon ape-shit.
>Like actual demon with wings and shit.
>She's using the crown to zombify the school.
>She attacks your friends.
>She accidentally cuts a single hair on the Aryan Beauties head.
>You break out of zombie trance with rage alone.
>Sunset sees you and starts freaking out.
>Give a single muscle clench and rip your shirt off completely.
>Walk over to Sunset Bitch.
>Turn her head into a flower.
>Realize that the school is still zombified.
>Become zombie school's pimp for eternity.
>Make out with White Goddess.[/spoiler]
>Today was a spoiler day.
>Be NN.
>Year 2768 in Equestria School of Advanced Space Travel.
>Get sent on mission to learn about new planet.
>A bunch of brain suckers show up and you're stranded.
>Fight space pirates.
>Defeat horrid monsters.
>Find huge ugly brain.
>Kill ugly brain.
>Escape self-destructing planet base.
>You are Norman Aran.
>Day career choice day in Equestria High.
>Today is career day (no shit) for your class.
>People from different jobs will come in and take you under their wing for a short period of time.
>Blue got a fighter pilot. Lucky dyke.
>Orange got an orange orchard worker.
>Purp got a librarian. Mainly because no one else wanted to read for the entire time.
>Yellow got a construction worker.
>White Goddess got a grocery store manager. Which is obviously not worthy her beauty.
>Pink got a gun clerk.
>Finally you, you got... a plumber...
>And the worst part is that he's a grubby, short guy who smells awful.
>He promises that it'll be fun. You're still skeptic.
>The first job he takes you to is a strange house.
>He said "Watcha this!" and hops in a fucking drain.
>Eh, you've done worse in this crazy school year.
>Hop the fuck in.
>Find crazy color world.
>Plumber stops smelling bad and has some snappy lookin' overalls on.
>He tells me he's gonna visit the princess in the mushroom kingdom.
>He says "Let's-a go!".
>Both of you are lookin' pretty sharp in your plumber uniforms.
>He meets his green clothed brother along the way.
>You finally get to town.
>Fucking mushroom people everywhere.
>Make it to castle.
>The place is trashed.
>A fucking turtle stole the princess.
>The three of you go to save her.
>Turns out there's a fuck-ton of castles.
>After three days you find the turtle dude.
>He's fucking terrifying and has spikes all over him.
>Dunk his ass in lava.
>Meet princess.
>She's hot, but not Aryan Beauty hot.
>The princess walks over to plumber dudes and you.
>She gives you a fucking kiss on the forehead.
>Go back to home.
>In real time it was seven hours.
>Still be good friends with awesome plumber brothers.
>You are super Mario Norman.
>Day BEEP BEEP BEEP in Equestria High.
>Damn alarm clock just ruined your internal monolog.
>What's this? Did a muscular arm just obliterate the clock?
>That must mean.... You're Muscle Norman! The hunkiest man alive!
>You do your in-bed stretches which cause your -glorious- body to expose veins from under your skin.
>After you've woken up, you start deadlifting five hundred pounds.
>Your breakfast consists of a few diamonds you made from pressing coal together with your hands.
>You say by to inferior parents as you go to school.
>A woman who was driving crashes while staring at your pecs.
>When you get to school you do the usual.
>Start making out with your Aryan Beauty.
>She leads you to the back of school. Obviously needs to feel your muscles pressed up against her.
>After twenty minutes of dominating her mouth with your superior muscle ridden tongue you notice that something must be going on.
>"What's wrong baby? I'm surprised you can still feel your face!" - you ask in your usual powerful tone.
>She orgasms at your manly voice and powerful hands on her body.
>Her skin ripples and changes form on accident because of the pleasure.
>It's some dark skinned hooker with holes in her hair.
>She tells you that Rarity is held captive.
>Also some shit about your big body gives more energy for her to feed from.
>She opens her mouth and starts draining some weird pink air from you.
>It goes on well into tomorrow.
>The whore gets sleepy.
>"Ready to tell me where she is?" - you ask in your brilliant voice.
>"I-i-in the b-broom closet." she said through exhaustion and another orgasm.
>You punch her so hard in the face that what was previously a person is now a dark red mist cloud in front of you.
>You save Aryan Beauty.
>Make out with the real deal.
>Today was a "Who the fuck was that whore?" day.
>Day when the hell did it ever matter in Equestria High.
>Be NN.
>Purple needs to do some magic experiment to get to her home world. What a freak.
>She writes it in the library.
>Suddenly things go to shit.
>Lights start flickering on and off, screams can be heard, and the rune is glowing ominously.
>Suddenly the rune bursts open.
>Demons from Hell fly out.
>You and Purple escape, but now they're demons killing everyone.
>Eventually you find a dead officer's gun, now you're armed.
>Fight your way into Hell with Purp.
>See some weird shit.
>Kill Satan.
>You are Doom Norman.
>Day big red balls in Equestria High.
>You are Normal Norman and you feel a disturbance in your balls...
>It's something that happens rarely happens, but when it does, you know it's big.
>On your way out to school something stops you at your front door.
>There it is, your shiny red ball, a dodge ball to be exact. It beckons you like never before, as if it knows you need it.
>After some thought you take it.
>It bulges in your sack and jiggles as you walk.
>At school this sense of unevenness grows, your ball aches in your sack throughout the day.
>Eventually PE class comes.
>You get dressed in the appropriate attire and go to the gym.
>Once you are all there, the teacher blows his whistle.
>"Alright ladies, today we're having dodgeball! So huddle together for teams!"
>Dodgeball? Oh no, this is what's wrong, these poor fools don't know what demon they could be releasing!
>"Um, coach? Is it okay if I get my own dodgeball from my bag?" - you ask the coach.
>"Fine, sure, I don't care." - he says.
>You go back to your locker.
>There it is, the weapon of mass destruction. The dodgeball!
>You step back into the gym with your ball to see six students waiting for you.
>"What are you guys looking at?" - you ask.
>"Well Norman, since you took so long, we've already built a team. Looks like it's us versus you." - said a student.
>"What? No! You don't know what you're doing!"
>"Can it Norman. Play ball!"
>The student throws his ball at you at break neck speeds.
>You pick it up and deflect it with expert ease.
>"Play ball."
>The student is out and walks away.
>All the others take this as a sign to get serious.
>A chubby guy thinks he's hot shit and throws at you.
>His giant form misses after his gelatinous for juggles like a round ball of jello.
>The shear size works against him and you return it with a throw of your own.
>It whips through the air and lands on his flabby arm.
>The ball hits with an boom that would be more appropriate on a shooting range.
>Fatty limps away while rubbing his arm that has been imprinted by the red rubber.
>They’ve done it now, they have awakened a beast within you. And that beast is coming for them.
>Play time is [spoiler]ogre...[/spoiler]
>The other students can see you mean business, they huddle together with what two balls they have.
>They try to hit you with both at the same time.
>Two huge red balls come after you from both sides.
>Their timing is off by a fraction. It wouldn’t mean much to an average player. But you are no average player...
>In that fraction of space between them you grab the one closest and shift it in front of the other’s path.
>It bounces off the other and sends it behind you.
>Now there are two against one.
>The two are obviously fearful of what they have gotten themselves into. But their are no breaks on the rape train.
>You have both of the balls in your hands now, they have none.
>They turn pleading eyes to you, but you will show no mercy to them.
>They have dug their own graves.
>You throw both balls at them.
>Both of them make contact on each of their chests.
>Now they know not to mess with you when it comes to dodgeball, ever.
>Today was a big red balls day.
Day layered in Equestria High.
>You are Normal Norman.
>Right now is lunch time with Purple again.
>We have vegan soup.
>It's kinda weird that every day has a huge selection of vegan food out.
>Maybe vegans are the majority here?
>Anyway, despite the food being what it is, it's still pretty good.
>It's a nice onion soup stuff which is not as bad as it look.
>"Ugh, Norman?" - asked Purple while poking her meal.
>"Yeah?"
>"I don't like onion soup, do you have an apple or something that I can borrow?"
>"Maybe you should just try it."
>"Okay, but I won't like it." - she said while getting her spoonful.
>"Blech! Even in this body onion are still gross!"
>Suddenly the lunch halls are filled with a pungent onion stench.
>An ogre bursts into the room and points at Purple.
>"IT'S ALL OGRE FOR YOU, LASS!" - said the beast.
>He runs straight at your table and tackles Purp.
>Before you know it, she's naked and has her ass high in the sky.
>Out of nowhere the ogre brandishes a onion.
>In an instant he starts jamming it into her ass.
>You just sit there, jaw slacked, staring at how he get onions from an invisible source to fill her ass with.
>Purple begs and screams for help, but no one comes to her aid.
>Eventually after bloating Purp's stomach beyond reason he stops.
>"IT'S TIME FOR AN OGREDOSE OF PAIN!" - screamed the green monster.
>He stomps on her gut so hard that she leaks onion juice from every orifice.
>He dips down and whispers into her ear loud enough for you to hear.
"Next time, check yourself before you Shrek yourself lass."
>To day was a "Goes nice with toast tho." day.
>Day rip the fuck out of everything in Equestria High.
>You are Muscle Norman, and you are mad enough to rip the whole school down.
>You're in art class right now and the teacher wants you to draw a picture of you being thin and weak.
>Like old Norman!
>What he doesn't understand is that those days are over!
>You can't even imagine what you used to be without a picture anymore!
>This is bullshit, your gonna use your muscles now!
>"Teacher!" - you say in a voice that caused men to cower in fear and women to orgasm.
>"Yes Norman?" - said the old man.
>Could you come and see what I'm doing wrong?"
>"Yes, of course." - he responded in his frail old voice.
>He get right next to your drawing desk.
>"Now what see to be the problem No-"
>Before he has time to finish his sentence you crushed his bony face onto you piece of paper.
>He makes a gurgling sound in his own blood before his life fades away.
>The students just stare, they know not to fuck with Norman!
>You let go of his face and he goes slumping onto the floor.
>Once his body is on the ground you pick up the paper that has a bloody face imprint of the teacher on it.
>"Oh thank you teacher! Now it look just like a scrawny weakling!" - you say to the long desisted corpse.
>Somewhere along that day you start making out with the Bleach Beauty.
>Today was a artistic day.
>Fluttershy waits patiently at Norman's door for him to answer.
>The door opens and Norman stands on the other side.
>"H-hi N-Norman..." - said Fluttershy.
>"*Sigh* what do you have for me now Fluttershy?" - responds Norman.
>"Oh um."
>Fluttershy pulls a gun out of her purse and shoves it into her vagina from under her skirt.
>"A-are g-guns your fetish Norman?"
>"*SIgh*, no, no they aren't."
>Norman slams the door and walks back into his house to play X-box.
>Not before hearing a *bang* of course.
>"Fucking Fluttershy."
>Day groovy in Cantelot High.
>You are Normal Norman, the baddest mamma jamma in the school.
>You don your trusty disco jacket, and in doing so you have activated your SWAG.
>After striking a few alluring poses in the mirror, you set off to school to keep up your status as a groovy dude.
>Today you're feeling exceptionally groovy, and decide to take the scenic rout.
>It looks all empty and stuff, and you're quite certain that was a drug dealer you saw, but this place is sort of tranquil.
>During your walk to school you see Purple and Brad.
>Looks like they got that groovy step too.
>"Hey there brothas, sickin' it to the man lately?" - you ask your equally groovy friends.
>"All day everyday." - answered brad in his funky baritone voice.
>"They gotta learn they can't put us down!" - adds Purple.
>"True that!"
>As you walk down to school with your friends on both sides, you notice something about this place.
>"Hey bothas." - you say.
>"I'm thinkin' this place is exceptionally jive. How's about you and me jazz this place up?"
>"You don't mean..." - said Brad in an expectant tone.
>"Oh I mean..."
>Music begins playing in the background.
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
>You are Norman Gibbs.
>Day topkek in Canterlot High.
>You are Normal Norman, and you have made a grave mistake.
>You accidentally told Purple about the glories of the internet.
>It's been five days since then, and all you have heard from her is memes and nonsensical bullshit.
>Right now, you and Purp are at lunch.
>"Hey Purp? What's our next class?" - you ask her.
>She just gives you a cigar-lipped response.
>"2013."
>"Not knowing next class."
>"Shiggy diggy."
>That comment was dripping with sarcasm.
>This is why you don't like talking to her.
>"Really Purple? Can't at you least try to speak English?"
>"Lel, u mad bro?"
>"No, you're retarded."
>"BR? Hue hue hue."
>"SHUT UP!"
>"U mad bro? Fight me irl, not online, see what happens."
>Punch her lights out.
>Next week she becomes a fat socially retarded (more than usual) purple blob.
>All of her friends left her because of her smell and attitude.
>One month later, she kills herself by choking on cheeseburger.
>You attend her funeral.
>Just as the lower the XXL casket in, the police pull you over to the side to talk for a while.
>They say on her computer was a message to you, asking for help, and that she can't stop hurting herself.
>She made it sound really sad.
>You miss Purple now.
>Day impressive Equestria.
>You are muscle Norman.
>Purple is getting the crown after you pounded the skull of Sunset Shimmer into a fine dust.
>Purp decides that it would be cool if you came along to her horse world.
>"Sure, why not?"
>You've been here for about a week.
>Despite its differences from Earth, it's still got the one thing that will happen no matter what dimension you're in.
>Women orgasming at the sight of your muscles.
>As you walk down the street of Ponyville, the women cum at the sight of human perfection.
>Suddenly you see a strange white figure walking down the path.
>It's an extremely muscular white pegasus.
>Purple told you about this one, his name is... Roid-Flake, right?
>The pegasus sees you, and shouts his war cry.
>"YEAH!"
>Purp said he was like you, but she's wrong, he's not -nearly- strong enough.
>Both you kick start a flexing contest in the middle of the streets.
>The mares surrounding you are cumming twice as hard now.
>Roid guy is putting up a good fight, even by your standards he's a challenge.
>You give it your all, you flex like never before.
>A mare bystander dies of dehydration from her orgasms.
>You see his strength is fading, he never stood a chance.
>Eventually, he gives up.
>You stand over his broken form, and laugh.
>Nobody beats Norman. Nobody.
[Made to mock a huge faggot in a CYOA thread. B I R, if you're reading this, you're a fag and I had fun mocking you.]
>Day incomprehensibly gay in Canterlot High.
>Be Norman.
>Some faggot is screaming in the lunch hall.
>It started when a few guys were making a story and took suggestions. Now he won't shut up.
>"AND DEN DA NRUMAN HE KILL HER! AND DEN DA BRAD HE RAPE HER! AND DEN DA END!" - he screams as food chunks fly from his mouth.
>"Please stop! Who the hell are you?" - asks a random story contributor.
>"LOL YOU NOT KNOW MY NAME!? IT RIGHT HERE, AGH!" - he says while pointing to small markings on his forehead. It's a small three letter name that you could hardly make out from here, but it look like it said; 'B I R'.
>"What the hell kind of name is 'B I R'?" - someone said, confirming your suspicions.
>"Okay, so maybe Nruman should wake up first." - said another guy while trying to ignore B I R.
>"BUT HE ACTUALLY DIED FROM DRAGON DILDO!"
>"Would you just let me finish?"
>B I R suddenly goes beat red from what in his opinion must have been a epic burn.
>"LOL YOU MAD BRO!?"
>"What the hell is wrong with you?"
>Suddenly, the jock dressed in black shows up with B I R written on his forehead.
>"HEY LOOK GUYS! I CAN'T STOP BLOWING THESE WHITE SCUM FOLK!"
>The rest of the students roar in laughter at his antics.
>A few other students show up with B I R written on their heads.
>"OOOOH I CAN'T KEEP SWALLOWING ALL THESE DICKS!" - said turquoise.
>All the other students join in and start mocking him with B I R on their heads.
>Eventually he goes in full denial from the humiliation.
>"YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHITPOST! YOU'RE ALL DUMB!"
>He's trying to play it off like they're the problem.
>Eventually the guys finish the story without him.
>It still wasn't even that good.
>For once, it was nice having someone else mocked, even if it was for a little while.
>Today was a B I R day.
>Day green goo in Equestria.
>You are muscle Norman.
>It's been a good mount of time since you moved over to the shitty pony world.
>Right now, a pony version of the whore you killed encasing everyone. Including you.
>You're getting bored of doing all the work, so you let Purple handle the situation.
>Purp and Wavy Haired Ho are fighting a horde of other black hookers while the big momma is giving you a sly grin. It's not the 'I wanna suck your dick' smile, it's more like the, 'all according to plan' one.
>She starts draining energy from you, but this time with her horn. It's not painful or anything, so you just let it happen.
>Eventually, Wavy Haired Ho and Purp catch up.
>The black hooker turns around to face them.
>She shoots the Wavy Hair and she falls over. It's not like she wasn't ripin' ass just a second ago, so the black ho must be really strong.
>Suddenly she blurts out; "Haha, with this human's power, even Celestia is at my mercy!"
>Wait, did she just...
>No one steals Muscle Norman's power!
>While she's distracted with laughing her ass off, you slowly climb out of your goo cage.
>Purp sees you breaking free, but she knows better than to say something.
>As you slowly stand up from your seated position, your shadow slowly grows over her.
>She stops laughing to notice that everyone has gone silent.
>All eyes are on you as she slowly turns around to meet your eyes.
>The seething rage are and built up and built hate of a silver back gorilla stares back at her with eyes that say, 'I will kill you'.
>You punch her so hard that she should be turned into red mist.
>But this is cartoon world, so she flies out of the building into the horizon.
>Everyone, accept for super virgin Purple, orgasm at the sight of your arms.
>To their dismay, you don't fuck them. You ain't no horse fucker.
>Today was a history repeats itself day.
>Day FREEDOM in Canterlot High.
>You are the paradigm of strength, Muscle Norman!
>Today is the fourth of July, the day America earned independence from the British.
>Right now, the integrity of American freedom is at stake. The Nazi known as Octavia is attempting to take over the school's innocent American minds with her propaganda!
>But you will never let this happen, not while there is a single ab on your body, not while there is a single star on the flag, as long as there is a single cinder of American freedom, you can build a great flame of justice!
"Octavia!" - you boom into the school hallway.
>By now, the floors should be stained with the collective juices of the school's female students. But these kids are too far gone, Octavia's mind control is their new leader.
>"You're too late, Norman!" - says Octavia in her waffen SS uniform.
>"Zeir precious American minds are now mine! Now, attack my minions!"
>Her army of corrupted students turn their attention to you from Octavia's speech podium.
>Their eyes are devoid of life, all that remains now are tiny Stars of David in the center.
>"Must. Stop. Goyim." - they drone in unison.
>Like the unstoppable force of muscle you are, you plow straight into the crowd with the force of an angry silver back gorilla.
>One by one, the slaves of Nasitavia get freedom beat into their minds.
>A swift kick (OF JUSTICE) to the jugular is all it takes to free these kids from their hypnosis.
>"Nein, my master plan! FOILED!" - shouts Octavia as she sees the last of her slaves convert to justice.
>As the last student fall against your powerful arms, you approach the defeated nazi.
"The only plan you have against justice is surrender."
>She doesn't orgasm, she's probably a lesbian.
"Now, look into my eyes..."
>You clasp the sides of her face with your magnificent hands as you bring her eyes to yours.
>Images of freedom and liberty flash before your now star spangled eyes, it's the look of pure justice.
>"N-nein! Anything but zat!" - she begs.
"It's too late. You are already free."
>Her figure turns hard and stony as her eyes are replaced with fifty stars and thirteen stripes.
>The deed is done, Nazitavia is now another stone statue for the birds to shit on.
>"Oh, Norman~." - coos a voice from behind.
>You turn to see the Aryan Beauty in a sexy Uncle Sam costume staring at you from the other side of the hallway.
>"I couldn't help but notice that marvelous display of justice. And you know that freedom gets my cooch hotter than a Gorge Foreman grill. How about you and me celebrate by making sparks fly?"
>Your huge figure marches over to her and embraces her in a kiss like a solder coming home from the front lines.
>Today was a JUSTICE day.
>Be Norman.
>Go to country called Arhemland for vacation.
>They have a Colosseum for events.
>Go there for the fun of it.
>The event has not started yet, but people are screaming their heads off for the show to start.
>Eventually the spiked gate opens up and out comes... retards?
>They spread out in completely random directions. Some even stop to taste the sand.
>The people are screaming their heads off, they really like seeing these guys drool all over themselves.
>Suddenly, a man in an ogre suit that looks like Shrek walks into the stage.
>The crowd eats dat shit up, they scream like never before.
>Ogre guy walks to the center of the stage.
>"RETARDS OF THE THUNDER DOME! WELCOME TO THE RETARD RODEO!" - he shouts.
>Some of the tards stop licking the floor to listen to him.
>"Now gather around for story time!"
>The retards storm in his direction, some fall and get run over.
>Eventually the crowd gathers around and sits patiently for the story.
>The crowd goes dead silent, eager to hear every word this ogre has to say.
>He gets down to their level.
>"Once upon a time. There was an ogre, just like you. And he lived in a smelly old swamp, just like you."
>He tries to give off this ominous tone to sound mysterious.
>The only thing heard now is the laughter of the thousand people filling the seats.
>The ogre continues.
>"What he would like to do, is stuff unions in kids, just like you!"
>The crowd goes wild again, they start brandishing onions from their pockets.
>Hundreds of roots go flying in the air as they begin pelting the retards with all they've got.
>The tard brigade start crying their eyes out, tears stain the sandy floor.
>Suddenly, a hazmat team run into the stage and start holding the retards down.
>They begin ramming all of the onions they can get into their assholes.
>The ogre in the middle is laughing his ass off.
>The tards beg as the crowd yells for more.
>Today was an ogre day.
>Be Norman.
>For some reason, you can't say Rarity's name.
>No matter how hard you try, all you say is a long line of 'rara's.
>Today, you and Purple are going over to the movies for a friendly get together.
>"Say Norman? What movie should we watch?" - asks Purple
"Maybe Pacific Rim? I've heard good thing about it."
>"Great, I'll go get the movie tickets. You can go help the other girls at the snack bar."
>You turn around to see the girls in line.
>All except for Pink, she's busy filling an entire tub with popcorn butter.
>Aryan is up soon, time to be polite and pay for her. Luckily she's also the last in line, so you don't have to pay for the other girls.
>You walk up to her just as she brings out her purse.
"Let me pay for it." - you say.
>"Why thank you, Norman."
"No problem Rararararararararararararararararararararararaararararara-"
>OH GOD, I'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
"-rararararararararararara-."
>Aryan just looks annoyed and walks away after rolling her eyes.
>Orange smacks you on the back of the head to shut you up. Good think it works too.
>Oh god, this is embarrassing, you fucked things up royally.
>Whatever, you hope the movie is good enough to make up for the mistake.
>The movie finishes without any problems, and it was awesome to boot!
>Just as you walk out of the theater, something catches your eye.
>Pinkie is fumbling with the bucket of butter, and is about to land on Aryan!
"Rarararara?"
>She doesn't hear you, tie to take action!
>You leap in between the two of them and the full wave of butter into your chest.
>You fall to the floor in pain as the heat scorches your skin.
>"Oh my, Norman!" - says Aryan.
>"Are you okay Norman?"
"Ugh, Rarararararararararararararararararararara-."
>"GODDAMMIT, NORMAN!"
>Be Norman.
>Be walking in school.
>See new girl.
>She's Purple.
>But most importantly, she's carrying a lot of books.
>She wobbles, she twists and shakes.
>Finnaly she trips over, the books she held tightly spill onto the floor.
>She frantically tries to pick them up, but you won't give her the chance.
>You swoop down to you knees to meet the girl, your eyes lock with her's.
>She begins to sweat, her entire body is sreaming for mercy.
>You bring youself to her face, "Let me help you with those.".
>Her dignity shatters, tears well in her eyes.
>"Y-yes, thank you..." - she weakly says.
>As you begin to give her each book, your penis gets harder and harder.
>All of the women of the school watch in shock, the men's glares cut deep.
>As the final book makes it's way into her hands, you say...
>"It was my privilege..."
>Be Brad.
>An average day of school inside of Canterlot high.
>Star putting up books inside of your locker.
>Suddenly a new girl bumps into your leg.
>She on the floor, rubbing her head.
>Her eyes turn to you, they widen from the anticipation of what's to come next.
>It's too late for her, today, you hunt for a different type of rape...
>You reach your hand down to her level.
>"You okay?" - you say in your masculin and dominating tone.
>Tears well in her eyes, a few escape and run down her purple cheaks.
>She reluctantly grabs it as she looks away.
>The men and women of the school take notice to what's going on, a crowd soon gathers.
>As she is lifted from the ground, the men's pants are lifted from their waist.
>When she takes her first step onto the ground, the room goes dead silent.
>She utters the few words that echo in the hall way...
>"T-thank you..."
>The men burst into ape-like howls as the women break into tears.
>As everyone freaks out, you keep your cool to say one last thing...
>"It was my privilege..."
>"Give her the dick, Norman. You know she needs it, you can tell it in her eyes."
>This has been going on long enough, actually, it's been going on for a week.
>You are Norman, and currently you are being possessed by the ghost of Rene Descartes.
>One tiny experiment with magic by Purple gave you the ability to speak with past lives.
>One of them happened to be Descartes.
>He's annoying and won't shut up about giving people the "d".
>"C'mon, Norman. Just look at her! She's begging for the d!"
>You pull yourself to the corner so talking to him won't make everyone think you're insane.
"Look, Descartes, that's a dude! And he's Thunder Drums, he hates racists, including me."
>"What? Really? Damn, you kids sure do dress funny nowadays."
"Yeah, so stop saying it to everyone."
>"... I still want you to give him the d."
"Dammit, Descartes!"
>Be Norman.
>Brad is sitting at the lunch hall with you, despite being called "The Racist", Brad can land you a spot at the rocker table.
>These guys are pretty kick ass, they're some nice people hang with.
>This will be the third time you get to sit there, finally you feel like you're making some friends.
>You and brad sit down at the table with bowls full of soup.
>Everyone is really chowing down at the food, this stuff's the shit!
>Suddenly, you notice that the green haired chick isn't eating.
"Hey Green Hair, why aren't you eating?" -- you ask.
>"Oh, because I don't like onions."
>Without warning, Shrek bursts into the room as a gust of wind carries the scent of onions around.
>Shrek points at her.
>"IT'S OGRE FOR YOU NOW, LASS!" - he shouts.
>He takes slow and powerful steps towards the table.
>Just as he reaches her face, he turns to you guys and snaps.
>"Hit it, lads!"
>As if preparing for this moment, the group keyboardist starts playing an opening riff.
>The other band members get into possessions at their respective instruments.
>All but the mic is filled.
>Shrek pats his ogre hand on your shoulder and points to the mic.
>"She's all yours, lad!"
>As the music picks up, Shrek begins raping Green Hair.
>You start singing.
>Shrek is now raping her to the song All Star by Smash mouth.
>Today was a Shreked day.
>Be Twilight.
>Norman came with you into the portal, but for some reason, never became a pony.
>He's a bit frustraiting, but he's still a good friend.
>"Hey, Purple, who's the white tall one?" - ask Norman.
"That would be the pony version of Celestia."
>"So the principal is a princes here? Wow, trippy. It's like the world revolves around our school."
>"Twilight, is this the friend you were talking about?" - ask Princess Celestia.
"Yes, your highness. Norman here is a human, for some strange reason."
>"Well it's very interesting to finnaly meet one of these strange creatures. Did you say they were intelegent creatures?"
>Yes, your majesty. They can some times be more intlegant then ponie-."
>"Hey, Purple, how does she make the sun rise if the Earth spins on an axis?"
"Norman that's not the kind of question to be asking around the prince-."
>"And what's up with these formalities? Aren't you both at the same level of higharchy?"
"Norman, you shouln-."
>"And another thing, why are you a princess anyway? Where's your kingdom? Why do we both live in a crummy old library instead of the one down the hall?"
"Norman, it's not like tha-."
>"And what's the whole deal with the 'princess' thing anyway? Where's the king and queen? There has to be one around here somewher-."
"NORMAN! PLEASE SHUT UP!"
>"What? It only seems befiting of a country to have answers to those questions at the ready."
"Yeah, butthose aren't the kind of questions you should ask around the prince-!"
>Suddenly you feel Celestia's cold glare on your back.
>Look up and see her looking down at you.
"Uh... It's just because he's... new?"
>Now you have to write a ten thousand word report on teaching your beast some maners.
>Goddammit, Norman.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

	

    I recently started writing for a really young thread called Normal Norman as Tool for a name.  In the new Equestrian Girls movie one character in the background has the only feasible skin tone, therefor he is 'normal'.  He ended up being pretty easy to write so I did most of it for practice.
     
    Basic plot at the beginning of every thread:
     
    This is Normal Norman. Your everyday high school student, born in Philadelphia pennsylvania. Not long ago, he moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere. Even though he is a cool, normal kid, that likes to play X-box in his free time, he will face some strange problems in his new life.
     
    This is his story.
     
    >being Norman
    >Parents got a new Job in another town so we have to moon
    >I got transfered to the local school
    >first day in new school
    >What is wrong with these people and their colored skin?
    >they hear me
    >"OMG SO RACIST"
    >"Yeah, check your privilege, white scum."
    >People start calling me a skin head.
    >It's going to be a long year
     
     --------------------------------------------------------
     
    http://vocaroo.com/i/s1IYvVH8srEd
    Day Halloween in Equestria high.
    >Today is Halloween in school.
    >The school decided that a school orientated party would be better.
    >Considering the amount of kids that can get their hands on alcohol, it would be better if they had an eye on most of the kids.
    >When Purple asked you what it was she started ranting about moon goddesses and nightmares.
    >Fucking Purp.
    >Tonight is the party and you got the perfect costume ready.
    >You look inside of your closet and pull out a perfect Flash costume replica.
    >After putting it on you instantly feel fast as shit.
    >One final piece and it'll be complete.
    >You reach inside of your closet door and pull out two painted Nike shoes that have been made to look like part of the outfit.
    >Now you feel like a real badass.
    >
    >At school.
    >The party is getting good, it's almost at full swing.
    >There's Purple and the other girls, might wanna say hi.
    >"Hey girls, what's up?"
    >"OOOOO, Norman you look fast!" -said Pink while pointing to your costume.
    >"Thanks, you look pretty good dressed as Sherlock Holmes."
    >Looking at the rest of the girls you see that they have some pretty zany costumes on to.
    >Purple as Merlin.
    >Rainbow as Jason Voorhees.
    >Orange as Thor.
    >Yellow as a salsa dancer.
    >And the Aryan Beauty as Aphrodite.  Quite fitting for a gem like her.
    >"Hey Norman!  Nice costume!" - said... wait, who said that?
    >Brad walks up to you and pats you on the shoulder to get your attention.
    >You turn around to see Brad wearing the same costume.
    >"Oh you got the same costume on!  Haha that's neat."
    >"Thanks man!"  Said Brad trying to scream past the music.
    >As if on cue you both look up and down each other to see who had it better.
    >Both of your eyes stop at each others feet.
    >You're surprised to see that he has Adidas
    >Instantly when you see that he has the worst choice of shoes on you flash him a disgusted face.
    >Brad returns it with the same expression.
    >"So you think you can run in those shitty shoes?"  - said Brad while giving a cocky grin.
    >”I could tape cardboard on my feet and run faster than those!” - you say while grabbing him by the costume.
    >”You won’t be saying that when I have them buried in your ass!”
    >”You wanna go punk?!”
    >Suddenly Rainbow grabs you from behind and pulls you off him.
    >”Knock it off you two!” -said Rainbow.
    >”I’m gonna imprint my shoes in this Adidas wearing fuckers throat!”
    >Pink jumps in between you and Brad.
    >”Stop it you two!  I’ve got an idea!” - said Pink.
    >”What idea?” - asked Purple.
    >”A race!”
    >
    >Outside.
    >You and Brad are both stretching in your spandex to get ready to run as fast as possible.
    >Rainbow is working you up with pep talk to get you pumped.
    >”Remember, run forward, don’t look at your feet and remember to breathe!”
    >”Alright, I got it.”
    >You give Brad an icy cold stare.
    >He seems to be unimpressed.
    >Both of you march to the starting line.
    >You look forward and see that the finish line is surprisingly far.
    >”How now racers.  Yall get into position, ya hear?” - Said Orange trying to sound like Thor.
    >Brad and you kneel down.
    >”On yer mark!”
    >Your muscles clench.
    >”Git set!”
    >You raise your hip.
    >”...GO!”
    >Both of you take off at blinding speeds towards the finish line.
    >At break neck speeds you hear the cheers of the girls egging you on.
    >Suddenly you see the edges of Brad’s costume slowly crawl in front of you.
    >He’s beginning to gain speed and soon you can see his whole body.
    >You run as fast as you can to the other end but Brad is always one step closer.
    >The finish line draws closer as Brad is getting farther.
    >Suddenly you hear a voice past the screaming crowd.
    >”Norman run!”
    >It’s the Aryan Beauty!
    >Her sweet angelic voice is like a siren call past the screaming students.
    >”Run Norman you can do it!  I believe in you!”
    >A sudden rush of adrenaline flows through you.
    >Your beauty needs you, and no Adidas wearing faggot is screwing that up!
    >You begin running faster than you thought possible.
    >The screams of the crowd get louder.
    >Brad begins disappearing behind your vision.
    >The finish line is getting closer and closer.
    >Brad screams ‘no’ at the top of his lungs.
    >But that doesn’t matter to you.
    >[spoiler]You were born to run.[/spoiler]
    >[spoiler]And built to last.[/spoiler]
    >[spoiler]He’ll never see your feet[/spoiler][spoiler]because you move so fast.[/spoiler]
    >You cross the white line and claim victory.
    >The Aryan Beauty runs to your side and you drape an arm over her.
    >Brad limps over to you.
    >”H-how?” - said Brad while panting.
    >”Nobody beats Nike motherfucker.  Nobody.”
    >Make out with Aryan Beauty.
    >Today was a good day.
     
     
    >Day minty fucking fresh in Equestria High.
    >The school is having a huge peace drive for all kinds of global problems.
    >It’s an extravaganza they pull in the gym every year.
    >Not that you were here last year.  You’re still new to this school
    >They’ve got war, poverty, racism, all that stuff.
    >You were scorned by other students who said that your ‘racism’ is a global problem.
    >When you met with Purple she wanted to come by to see what this racism is and why people keep saying it around you.
    >Fucking Purple.
    >You decide that you’ve had enough of her bullshit and walk away to who knows where.
    >After walking a little you see Orange reading a public board.
    >”Yo Orange what’s up?” - you ask her.
    >”Oh, hey Norman.  Ahm tryin’ to figure out what I can help in with the school peace drive.” - she said while looking at the options.
    >”Well, what are the options?”
    >”There’s settin’ up, party favors, and lights.  I wrote mahself up fer music, but aint nobody want’s to sing.  We can’t perform without a singer.”
    >That’s true, and the entire school sucks at singing.
    >You remember last music performance, yeesh that was bad.
    >”Hey Norman?” - asked Orange.
    >”Can you sing?”
    >”What?  Me?  Dear god no, nuh uh, never, not in a milio-”
    >”Shame, Rarity is a sucker for singers.”
    >”Where do I sign?”
    >
    >At the peace drive.
    >The place is filled with different booths dedicated to different things.
    >Blood donation.
    >Starving kids.
    >Dictatorships.
    >And racism.  Complete with a picture of you.
    >A few of them scream epithets at you to seal the deal.
    >No point in responding to them, you got work to do.
    >You move to the backstage to talk with Orange and prep things for the concert.
    >Things must be perfect for the Aryan Beauties viewing pleasure.
    >It doesn’t take long before you see Orange working with the amplifiers.
    >”Yo Orange, what are you playing?”
    >”Bass gitar.” - answers Orange blandly.
    >”Okay so when are we gonna perform?”
    >”’Bout an hour from now, don’t you go runnin’ off you hear?”
    >
    >Fifty five minutes later.
    >”OH GOD, OH JESUS, OH FUCK, OH SHIT, OH HELL!”
    >”Norman please calm down!” - begged Purple.
    >”I can’t!  I’ve never performed before!  And I definitely can’t sing for shit!”
    >”C’mon Norman!  You can do it!” - said Pink while fanning you.
    >”I don’t know Pink...”
    >”Rarityyyyy~.”
    >”FINE!  I’ll do it.”
    >”Good, now git yer act together, we’re on in two.” - says Orange as she walks away.
    >Now you Purp and Pink are alone in the room.
    >”Hey girls?  You got a mint?  All this nervousness is making my throat dry.”
    >”Sure Norman, here are some mentos for you.” - said pink while handing you a package.
    >You pop two in your mouth and start chewing.
    >The effects are immediate.
    >Your throat instantly opens.
    >A cool breeze freshens your breath.
    >You mouth salivates and wets your windpipe.
    >”Wow Pinks, these are awesome!  You’re a lifesaver!”
    >Before she responds (probably with a rant) the music starts up and cuts her off.
    >http://youtu.be/O6za3CcjfyY?t=41s
    >”Oh my, it’s starting!  Quick Norman!  Put on the hat!” - said Purple while handing you an ornate headdress.
    >You struggle with the hat and finally put it on successfully.
    >Orange and that other not-Aryan Beauty chick with the blue hair walk on stage waving their arms and getting people to cheer for them.
    >The white chick goes to the turntable and starts fiddling with things while Orange picks up the bass and starts adjusting it.
    >All the instruments are playing now so you run out.
    >Time to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty!
    >You’re lucky you went with the hat to cover your face.  If you hadn’t you’d probably be booed off the stage by now.
    >It was also a good idea to wear a poncho to cover your regular clothes to.
    >The crowd screams at your appearance and you reach the mic.
    >You begin singing and the words flow perfectly.
    >Your throat is easily opened and your breath smells amazing to boot.
    >The song is full of stopping segregation talk and how the white man holds colors down.
    >Kinda fitting if you wanna show that you’re not racist.
    >In the song you’re dancing around and pulling out all the stops.
    >You even catch a glance of the Aryan Beauty looking starry eyed.
    >The song is really getting the crowd going, they’re all cheering at the top of their lungs and enjoying the music.
    >The bassline is pretty kickass to.
    >Eventually the song ends and the crowd goes wild.
    >You take off your hat and reveal yourself to the students.
    >Suddenly it goes quiet.
    >”Fucking racist!” - yelled someone from the crowd.
    >The others join him and boo you off the stage.
    >Didn’t matter to you, the Aryan Beauty awaits!
    >You spend the rest of the night making out with her while she compliments you on your breath.
    >Mentos are the shit.
     
     
    Holy shit someone did this:http://vocaroo.com/i/s1RxH5yeNR3U
    >Day FEEL THE PAIN! in Equestria High.
    >Be Norman.
    >Not just regular Norman.
    >The strongest fucker in the damn school Norman!
    >Brad eventually gave you enough shit about him trying to win the heart of the Aryan Beauty.
    >You decided not to get mad, BUT GET EVEN!
    >Today you’re breaking the school's record for bench pressing the fifth time in the hour.
    >"C'mon Norman! Push it!" - said the obviously inferior gym coach.
    >At the count of 200 you chuck the dumbbell...
    >Upwards.
    >It imbeds itself inside the roof and sticks like glue.
    >Okay maybe you should leave the rest of the equipment alone for the rest of the students.
    >Inside the hall to your class your steps shake the room like tiny earthquakes.
    >Women orgasm at the sight of your perfect biceps.
    >A student dared to call you a racist and you imbed your fist in his face without looking.
    >Purple passed by and and said that there was a pony just like you call Roid-Flake or something.
    >Finally you meet Brad who is trying to romance the Aryan Beauty in his last minutes of breath.
    >"Brad" - you say while tapping his shoulder.
    >The White Angel notices you and creams at the sight.
    >"What is it N-n-nn-.
    >"Norman" - you respond.
    >With a single clench of your muscles you break his skull.
    >The Aryan Beauty has orgasmed for the six time.
    >You pick her up and make out with her for the rest of the day.
    >Today was a RIIIIIIIPPPPED day.
     
     
    >You are Normal Norman.
    >The loner, the dweeb, the nerd.
    >An entire school looks down on you.
    >You only have two real friends.
    >Brad and Purple.
    >Today you and the entire class have a field trip.
    >It's the Rich.corps gamma technology research laboratory.
    >There she is, the girl of your dreams.
    >The Aryan Beauty.
    >You're a real delusional fuck if you think she'll go for a nerd like you.
    >The place has some interesting things.
    >They even have an animal testing area filled with tiny spiders that they use for testing.
    >"There's one missing." - said the angelic voiced Aryan Beauty.
    >Whatever, time to take pictures of shit.
    >You start snappin' photos left and right.
    >Suddenly you get an idea.
    >"Would it be okay if I take a few photos for the school paper?" - you ask the White Wonder.
    >You start takin' pictures of her like a boss.
    >Suddenly she walks off ;_;.
    >Something bites you on the hand.
    >It's one of the spiders.
    >One week later.
    >Your spinning webs and leaping from buildings.
    >You even make out with Aryan Beauty upside down.
    >You are Spider Norman.
     
     
    >You are Normal Norman.
    >Class geek, along with Purple.
    >Brad is your only guy friend.
    >He decides to run for class president.
    >Decide to help him.
    >Some bitch thinks she's hot shit so she runs against him.
    >Seriously, she's a huge bitch.
    >Get Brads gang member filled family to help.
    >Big day comes.
    >Whole class comes in to hear the speeches.
    >Sunset bitch gives a kiss-ass speech.
    >Brad didn't prepare.
    >He wings it.
    >Class is unamused.
    >Man up and help.
    >Go on stage.
    >Start dancing.
    >Song ends early because of Sunset bitch.
    >The crowd fucking loves the performance.
    >Brad wins.
    >You realize you're an awesome dancer.
    >You are Normal Napoleon.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i46N2ZFPb0
     
     
    >Be NN.
    >Purple thinks that there are more doors than one to her magic horse world.
    >Call her out on her bullshit.
    >She says that she found one in a old house nearby.
    >Follow her.
    >She takes you to a nasty old closet.
    >Tell her there's no way there's a horse world in that.
    >She pulls you in with her.
    >Get greeted by a satyr.
    >Find magic world.
    >Talk to a fucking lion god.
    >He says there's an ice bitch lurking in the hills.
    >Reluctantly you join.
    >Meet an army of animal people.
    >Not one is a talking pony.
    >Twilight says it's the wrong world.
    >Now you’re doing this for nothing.
    >Jesus lion kills himself.
    >He comes back like Jesus to.
    >Says it was all for nothing.
    >What an asshole.
    >Fight ice bitch.
    >Kill her.
    >Claim throne.
    >Purple is your queen.
    >You still don't like Purp.
    >Get old.
    >Go down memory lane.
    >Purple finds the portal.
    >You both go in.
    >You both come out young.
    >You are Norman Pevensie.
     
     
    >In Equestria High.
    >Members of the board of directors are hot.
    >Unreal hot blue chick is there.
    >Smokin' easy 9/10
    >Tell her you got the hots for her.
    >Her job won't allow relationships with students.
    >A real bitch to be a kid right now.
    >Venture home to sulk.
    >Eventually fall asleep after too much X-box.
    >Dream about her.
    >I only hope it was real.
    >Eh, she's not really naked here.
    >Damn this is an awesome dream anyway.
    >And not just any dream, it was really vivid.
    >Nothing other than kissing happens
    >Dangerously close to popping dream boner.
    >Go ahead and get one.
    >Other than being surprised, she's cool with it.
    >Never ending dream fuck train goes on.
    >The dream ends when you do.
    >On the next day of school you see her.
    >Her face is beaming with a smile.
    >Everything about her you want.
    >And you’re gonna get her.
    >Vent your frustration with masturbation.
    >Eventually you give up.
    >Never thought that the first letter in every line would make a sentence.
     
     
    >Be Normal Norman.
    >Every day you go to school there is someone calling you racist.
    >There's even a death threat in the mail. That's how bad they hate you.
    >You usually brush them off, but it's starting to get to you.
    >Over a ridiculous amount of time you get a bunch of black friends to come to school.
    >Under the protection of 'black up', no one dares to call you racist.
    >Their fear is thick in the air, you can smell it...
    >Racist, you scoff at that word.
    >Everyone you meet wouldn't dare call you that after today!
    >Internal monolog was cut by one of your black friend talking to you. "When we get our munee?"
    >Did you agree to pay them? "I didn't say anything about pay."
    >They begin to laugh. "Did chu tink we gonna go ta skoo fo free?"
    >Okay that that was sounded pretty bad. "I'm not paying you!"
    >Rage fills them like you had told them that their mothers died. They grab you by the shirt.
    >Everyone in the halls are watching you. "Hey, you gib us yo muneh!"
    >As a plan against racism, this is pretty bad. "Get your hands off me nigger!"
    >Did you just say that out loud?
    >The school gives you a deadpan glare.
    >Hell, this basically seals you in as racist of the year.
    >In half an hour flat you've got your ass beat so hard that you lose feeling in your face.
    >Stupid black people.
    [spoiler]Hidden messages are fun![/spoiler]
     
     
    [spoiler]>Day muscles in Equestria High.
    >Be muscle Norman.
    >Twilight is winning the crown.
    >Sunset Whore is stealing it while saying some shit about the principal.
    >All of the sudden she goes demon ape-shit.
    >Like actual demon with wings and shit.
    >She's using the crown to zombify the school.
    >She attacks your friends.
    >She accidentally cuts a single hair on the Aryan Beauties head.
    >You break out of zombie trance with rage alone.
    >Sunset sees you and starts freaking out.
    >Give a single muscle clench and rip your shirt off completely.
    >Walk over to Sunset Bitch.
    >Turn her head into a flower.
    >Realize that the school is still zombified.
    >Become zombie school's pimp for eternity.
    >Make out with White Goddess.[/spoiler]
    >Today was a spoiler day.
     
     
    >Be NN.
    >Year 2768 in Equestria School of Advanced Space Travel.
    >Get sent on mission to learn about new planet.
    >A bunch of brain suckers show up and you're stranded.
    >Fight space pirates.
    >Defeat horrid monsters.
    >Find huge ugly brain.
    >Kill ugly brain.
    >Escape self-destructing planet base.
    >You are Norman Aran.
     
     
    >Day career choice day in Equestria High.
    >Today is career day (no shit) for your class.
    >People from different jobs will come in and take you under their wing for a short period of time.
    >Blue got a fighter pilot. Lucky dyke.
    >Orange got an orange orchard worker.
    >Purp got a librarian. Mainly because no one else wanted to read for the entire time.
    >Yellow got a construction worker.
    >White Goddess got a grocery store manager. Which is obviously not worthy her beauty.
    >Pink got a gun clerk.
    >Finally you, you got... a plumber...
    >And the worst part is that he's a grubby, short guy who smells awful.
    >He promises that it'll be fun. You're still skeptic.
    >The first job he takes you to is a strange house.
    >He said "Watcha this!" and hops in a fucking drain.
    >Eh, you've done worse in this crazy school year.
    >Hop the fuck in.
    >Find crazy color world.
    >Plumber stops smelling bad and has some snappy lookin' overalls on.
    >He tells me he's gonna visit the princess in the mushroom kingdom.
    >He says "Let's-a go!".
    >Both of you are lookin' pretty sharp in your plumber uniforms.
    >He meets his green clothed brother along the way.
    >You finally get to town.
    >Fucking mushroom people everywhere.
    >Make it to castle.
    >The place is trashed.
    >A fucking turtle stole the princess.
    >The three of you go to save her.
    >Turns out there's a fuck-ton of castles.
    >After three days you find the turtle dude.
    >He's fucking terrifying and has spikes all over him.
    >Dunk his ass in lava.
    >Meet princess.
    >She's hot, but not Aryan Beauty hot.
    >The princess walks over to plumber dudes and you.
    >She gives you a fucking kiss on the forehead.
    >Go back to home.
    >In real time it was seven hours.
    >Still be good friends with awesome plumber brothers.
    >You are super Mario Norman.
     
     
    >Day BEEP BEEP BEEP in Equestria High.
    >Damn alarm clock just ruined your internal monolog.
    >What's this? Did a muscular arm just obliterate the clock?
    >That must mean.... You're Muscle Norman! The hunkiest man alive!
    >You do your in-bed stretches which cause your -glorious- body to expose veins from under your skin.
    >After you've woken up, you start deadlifting five hundred pounds.
    >Your breakfast consists of a few diamonds you made from pressing coal together with your hands.
    >You say by to inferior parents as you go to school.
    >A woman who was driving crashes while staring at your pecs.
    >When you get to school you do the usual.
    >Start making out with your Aryan Beauty.
    >She leads you to the back of school. Obviously needs to feel your muscles pressed up against her.
    >After twenty minutes of dominating her mouth with your superior muscle ridden tongue you notice that something must be going on.
    >"What's wrong baby? I'm surprised you can still feel your face!" - you ask in your usual powerful tone.
    >She orgasms at your manly voice and powerful hands on her body.
    >Her skin ripples and changes form on accident because of the pleasure.
    >It's some dark skinned hooker with holes in her hair.
    >She tells you that Rarity is held captive.
    >Also some shit about your big body gives more energy for her to feed from.
    >She opens her mouth and starts draining some weird pink air from you.
    >It goes on well into tomorrow.
    >The whore gets sleepy.
    >"Ready to tell me where she is?" - you ask in your brilliant voice.
    >"I-i-in the b-broom closet." she said through exhaustion and another orgasm.
    >You punch her so hard in the face that what was previously a person is now a dark red mist cloud in front of you.
    >You save Aryan Beauty.
    >Make out with the real deal.
    >Today was a "Who the fuck was that whore?" day.
     
     
    >Day when the hell did it ever matter in Equestria High.
    >Be NN.
    >Purple needs to do some magic experiment to get to her home world. What a freak.
    >She writes it in the library.
    >Suddenly things go to shit.
    >Lights start flickering on and off, screams can be heard, and the rune is glowing ominously.
    >Suddenly the rune bursts open.
    >Demons from Hell fly out.
    >You and Purple escape, but now they're demons killing everyone.
    >Eventually you find a dead officer's gun, now you're armed.
    >Fight your way into Hell with Purp.
    >See some weird shit.
    >Kill Satan.
    >You are Doom Norman.
     
     
    >Day big red balls in Equestria High.
    >You are Normal Norman and you feel a disturbance in your balls...
    >It's something that happens rarely happens, but when it does, you know it's big.
    >On your way out to school something stops you at your front door.
    >There it is, your shiny red ball, a dodge ball to be exact.  It beckons you like never before, as if it knows you need it.
    >After some thought you take it.
    >It bulges in your sack and jiggles as you walk.
    >At school this sense of unevenness grows, your ball aches in your sack throughout the day.
    >Eventually PE class comes.
    >You get dressed in the appropriate attire and go to the gym.
    >Once you are all there, the teacher blows his whistle.
    >"Alright ladies, today we're having dodgeball!  So huddle together for teams!"
    >Dodgeball?  Oh no, this is what's wrong, these poor fools don't know what demon they could be releasing!
    >"Um, coach?  Is it okay if I get my own dodgeball from my bag?" - you ask the coach.
    >"Fine, sure, I don't care." - he says.
    >You go back to your locker.
    >There it is, the weapon of mass destruction.  The dodgeball!
    >You step back into the gym with your ball to see six students waiting for you.
    >"What are you guys looking at?" - you ask.
    >"Well Norman, since you took so long, we've already built a team.  Looks like it's us versus you." - said a student.
    >"What?  No!  You don't know what you're doing!"
    >"Can it Norman.  Play ball!"
    >The student throws his ball at you at break neck speeds.
    >You pick it up and deflect it with expert ease.
    >"Play ball."
    >The student is out and walks away.
    >All the others take this as a sign to get serious.
    >A chubby guy thinks he's hot shit and throws at you.
    >His giant form misses after his gelatinous for juggles like a round ball of jello.
    >The shear size works against him and you return it with a throw of your own.
    >It whips through the air and lands on his flabby arm.
    >The ball hits with an boom that would be more appropriate on a shooting range.
    >Fatty limps away while rubbing his arm that has been imprinted by the red rubber.
    >They’ve done it now, they have awakened a beast within you.  And that beast is coming for them.
    >Play time is [spoiler]ogre...[/spoiler]
    >The other students can see you mean business, they huddle together with what two balls they have.
    >They try to hit you with both at the same time.
    >Two huge red balls come after you from both sides.
    >Their timing is off by a fraction.  It wouldn’t mean much to an average player.  But you are no average player...
    >In that fraction of space between them you grab the one closest and shift it in front of the other’s path.
    >It bounces off the other and sends it behind you.
    >Now there are two against one.
    >The two are obviously fearful of what they have gotten themselves into.  But their are no breaks on the rape train.
    >You have both of the balls in your hands now, they have none.
    >They turn pleading eyes to you, but you will show no mercy to them.
    >They have dug their own graves.
    >You throw both balls at them.
    >Both of them make contact on each of their chests.
    >Now they know not to mess with you when it comes to dodgeball, ever.
    >Today was a big red balls day.
     
    Day layered in Equestria High.
    >You are Normal Norman.
    >Right now is lunch time with Purple again.
    >We have vegan soup.
    >It's kinda weird that every day has a huge selection of vegan food out.
    >Maybe vegans are the majority here?
    >Anyway, despite the food being what it is, it's still pretty good.
    >It's a nice onion soup stuff which is not as bad as it look.
    >"Ugh, Norman?" - asked Purple while poking her meal.
    >"Yeah?"
    >"I don't like onion soup, do you have an apple or something that I can borrow?"
    >"Maybe you should just try it."
    >"Okay, but I won't like it." - she said while getting her spoonful.
    >"Blech! Even in this body onion are still gross!"
    >Suddenly the lunch halls are filled with a pungent onion stench.
    >An ogre bursts into the room and points at Purple.
    >"IT'S ALL OGRE FOR YOU, LASS!" - said the beast.
    >He runs straight at your table and tackles Purp.
    >Before you know it, she's naked and has her ass high in the sky.
    >Out of nowhere the ogre brandishes a onion.
    >In an instant he starts jamming it into her ass.
    >You just sit there, jaw slacked, staring at how he get onions from an invisible source to fill her ass with.
    >Purple begs and screams for help, but no one comes to her aid.
    >Eventually after bloating Purp's stomach beyond reason he stops.
    >"IT'S TIME FOR AN OGREDOSE OF PAIN!" - screamed the green monster.
    >He stomps on her gut so hard that she leaks onion juice from every orifice.
    >He dips down and whispers into her ear loud enough for you to hear.
    "Next time, check yourself before you Shrek yourself lass."
    >To day was a "Goes nice with toast tho." day.
     
    >Day rip the fuck out of everything in Equestria High.
    >You are Muscle Norman, and you are mad enough to rip the whole school down.
    >You're in art class right now and the teacher wants you to draw a picture of you being thin and weak.
    >Like old Norman!
    >What he doesn't understand is that those days are over!
    >You can't even imagine what you used to be without a picture anymore!
    >This is bullshit, your gonna use your muscles now!
    >"Teacher!" - you say in a voice that caused men to cower in fear and women to orgasm.
    >"Yes Norman?" - said the old man.
    >Could you come and see what I'm doing wrong?"
    >"Yes, of course." - he responded in his frail old voice.
    >He get right next to your drawing desk.
    >"Now what see to be the problem No-"
    >Before he has time to finish his sentence you crushed his bony face onto you piece of paper.
    >He makes a gurgling sound in his own blood before his life fades away.
    >The students just stare, they know not to fuck with Norman!
    >You let go of his face and he goes slumping onto the floor.
    >Once his body is on the ground you pick up the paper that has a bloody face imprint of the teacher on it.
    >"Oh thank you teacher! Now it look just like a scrawny weakling!" - you say to the long desisted corpse.
    >Somewhere along that day you start making out with the Bleach Beauty.
    >Today was a artistic day.
     
    >Fluttershy waits patiently at Norman's door for him to answer.
    >The door opens and Norman stands on the other side.
    >"H-hi N-Norman..." - said Fluttershy.
    >"*Sigh* what do you have for me now Fluttershy?" - responds Norman.
    >"Oh um."
    >Fluttershy pulls a gun out of her purse and shoves it into her vagina from under her skirt.
    >"A-are g-guns your fetish Norman?"
    >"*SIgh*, no, no they aren't."
    >Norman slams the door and walks back into his house to play X-box.
    >Not before hearing a *bang* of course.
    >"Fucking Fluttershy."
     
    >Day groovy in Cantelot High.
    >You are Normal Norman, the baddest mamma jamma in the school.
    >You don your trusty disco jacket, and in doing so you have activated your SWAG.
    >After striking a few alluring poses in the mirror, you set off to school to keep up your status as a groovy dude.
    >Today you're feeling exceptionally groovy, and decide to take the scenic rout.
    >It looks all empty and stuff, and you're quite certain that was a drug dealer you saw, but this place is sort of tranquil.
    >During your walk to school you see Purple and Brad.
    >Looks like they got that groovy step too.
    >"Hey there brothas, sickin' it to the man lately?" - you ask your equally groovy friends.
    >"All day everyday." - answered brad in his funky baritone voice.
    >"They gotta learn they can't put us down!" - adds Purple.
    >"True that!"
    >As you walk down to school with your friends on both sides, you notice something about this place.
    >"Hey bothas." - you say.
    >"I'm thinkin' this place is exceptionally jive. How's about you and me jazz this place up?"
    >"You don't mean..." - said Brad in an expectant tone.
    >"Oh I mean..."
    >Music begins playing in the background.
    >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
    >You are Norman Gibbs.
     
    >Day topkek in Canterlot High.
    >You are Normal Norman, and you have made a grave mistake.
    >You accidentally told Purple about the glories of the internet.
    >It's been five days since then, and all you have heard from her is memes and nonsensical bullshit.
    >Right now, you and Purp are at lunch.
    >"Hey Purp? What's our next class?" - you ask her.
    >She just gives you a cigar-lipped response.
    >"2013."
    >"Not knowing next class."
    >"Shiggy diggy."
    >That comment was dripping with sarcasm.
    >This is why you don't like talking to her.
    >"Really Purple? Can't at you least try to speak English?"
    >"Lel, u mad bro?"
    >"No, you're retarded."
    >"BR? Hue hue hue."
    >"SHUT UP!"
    >"U mad bro? Fight me irl, not online, see what happens."
    >Punch her lights out.
    >Next week she becomes a fat socially retarded (more than usual) purple blob.
    >All of her friends left her because of her smell and attitude.
    >One month later, she kills herself by choking on cheeseburger.
    >You attend her funeral.
    >Just as the lower the XXL casket in, the police pull you over to the side to talk for a while.
    >They say on her computer was a message to you, asking for help, and that she can't stop hurting herself.
    >She made it sound really sad.
    >You miss Purple now.
     
    >Day impressive Equestria.
    >You are muscle Norman.
    >Purple is getting the crown after you pounded the skull of Sunset Shimmer into a fine dust.
    >Purp decides that it would be cool if you came along to her horse world.
    >"Sure, why not?"
    >You've been here for about a week.
    >Despite its differences from Earth, it's still got the one thing that will happen no matter what dimension you're in.
    >Women orgasming at the sight of your muscles.
    >As you walk down the street of Ponyville, the women cum at the sight of human perfection.
    >Suddenly you see a strange white figure walking down the path.
    >It's an extremely muscular white pegasus.
    >Purple told you about this one, his name is... Roid-Flake, right?
    >The pegasus sees you, and shouts his war cry.
    >"YEAH!"
    >Purp said he was like you, but she's wrong, he's not -nearly- strong enough.
    >Both you kick start a flexing contest in the middle of the streets.
    >The mares surrounding you are cumming twice as hard now.
    >Roid guy is putting up a good fight, even by your standards he's a challenge.
    >You give it your all, you flex like never before.
    >A mare bystander dies of dehydration from her orgasms.
    >You see his strength is fading, he never stood a chance.
    >Eventually, he gives up.
    >You stand over his broken form, and laugh.
    >Nobody beats Norman. Nobody.
     
    [Made to mock a huge faggot in a CYOA thread. B I R, if you're reading this, you're a fag and I had fun mocking you.]
     
    >Day incomprehensibly gay in Canterlot High.
    >Be Norman.
    >Some faggot is screaming in the lunch hall.
    >It started when a few guys were making a story and took suggestions. Now he won't shut up.
    >"AND DEN DA NRUMAN HE KILL HER! AND DEN DA BRAD HE RAPE HER! AND DEN DA END!" - he screams as food chunks fly from his mouth.
    >"Please stop! Who the hell are you?" - asks a random story contributor.
    >"LOL YOU NOT KNOW MY NAME!? IT RIGHT HERE, AGH!" - he says while pointing to small markings on his forehead. It's a small three letter name that you could hardly make out from here, but it look like it said; 'B I R'.
    >"What the hell kind of name is 'B I R'?" - someone said, confirming your suspicions.
    >"Okay, so maybe Nruman should wake up first." - said another guy while trying to ignore B I R.
    >"BUT HE ACTUALLY DIED FROM DRAGON DILDO!"
    >"Would you just let me finish?"
    >B I R suddenly goes beat red from what in his opinion must have been a epic burn.
    >"LOL YOU MAD BRO!?"
    >"What the hell is wrong with you?"
    >Suddenly, the jock dressed in black shows up with B I R written on his forehead.
    >"HEY LOOK GUYS! I CAN'T STOP BLOWING THESE WHITE SCUM FOLK!"
    >The rest of the students roar in laughter at his antics.
    >A few other students show up with B I R written on their heads.
    >"OOOOH I CAN'T KEEP SWALLOWING ALL THESE DICKS!" - said turquoise.
    >All the other students join in and start mocking him with B I R on their heads.
    >Eventually he goes in full denial from the humiliation.
    >"YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHITPOST! YOU'RE ALL DUMB!"
    >He's trying to play it off like they're the problem.
    >Eventually the guys finish the story without him.
    >It still wasn't even that good.
    >For once, it was nice having someone else mocked, even if it was for a little while.
    >Today was a B I R day.
     
    >Day green goo in Equestria.
    >You are muscle Norman.
    >It's been a good mount of time since you moved over to the shitty pony world.
    >Right now, a pony version of the whore you killed encasing everyone. Including you.
    >You're getting bored of doing all the work, so you let Purple handle the situation.
    >Purp and Wavy Haired Ho are fighting a horde of other black hookers while the big momma is giving you a sly grin. It's not the 'I wanna suck your dick' smile, it's more like the, 'all according to plan' one.
    >She starts draining energy from you, but this time with her horn. It's not painful or anything, so you just let it happen.
    >Eventually, Wavy Haired Ho and Purp catch up.
    >The black hooker turns around to face them.
    >She shoots the Wavy Hair and she falls over. It's not like she wasn't ripin' ass just a second ago, so the black ho must be really strong.
    >Suddenly she blurts out; "Haha, with this human's power, even Celestia is at my mercy!"
    >Wait, did she just...
    >No one steals Muscle Norman's power!
    >While she's distracted with laughing her ass off, you slowly climb out of your goo cage.
    >Purp sees you breaking free, but she knows better than to say something.
    >As you slowly stand up from your seated position, your shadow slowly grows over her.
    >She stops laughing to notice that everyone has gone silent.
    >All eyes are on you as she slowly turns around to meet your eyes.
    >The seething rage are and built up and built hate of a silver back gorilla stares back at her with eyes that say, 'I will kill you'.
    >You punch her so hard that she should be turned into red mist.
    >But this is cartoon world, so she flies out of the building into the horizon.
    >Everyone, accept for super virgin Purple, orgasm at the sight of your arms.
    >To their dismay, you don't fuck them. You ain't no horse fucker.
    >Today was a history repeats itself day.
     
     
    >Day FREEDOM in Canterlot High.
    >You are the paradigm of strength, Muscle Norman!
    >Today is the fourth of July, the day America earned independence from the British.
    >Right now, the integrity of American freedom is at stake. The Nazi known as Octavia is attempting to take over the school's innocent American minds with her propaganda!
    >But you will never let this happen, not while there is a single ab on your body, not while there is a single star on the flag, as long as there is a single cinder of American freedom, you can build a great flame of justice!
    "Octavia!" - you boom into the school hallway.
    >By now, the floors should be stained with the collective juices of the school's female students. But these kids are too far gone, Octavia's mind control is their new leader.
    >"You're too late, Norman!" - says Octavia in her waffen SS uniform.
    >"Zeir precious American minds are now mine! Now, attack my minions!"
    >Her army of corrupted students turn their attention to you from Octavia's speech podium.
    >Their eyes are devoid of life, all that remains now are tiny Stars of David in the center.
    >"Must. Stop. Goyim." - they drone in unison.
    >Like the unstoppable force of muscle you are, you plow straight into the crowd with the force of an angry silver back gorilla.
    >One by one, the slaves of Nasitavia get freedom beat into their minds.
    >A swift kick (OF JUSTICE) to the jugular is all it takes to free these kids from their hypnosis.
    >"Nein, my master plan! FOILED!" - shouts Octavia as she sees the last of her slaves convert to justice.
    >As the last student fall against your powerful arms, you approach the defeated nazi.
    "The only plan you have against justice is surrender."
    >She doesn't orgasm, she's probably a lesbian.
    "Now, look into my eyes..."
    >You clasp the sides of her face with your magnificent hands as you bring her eyes to yours.
    >Images of freedom and liberty flash before your now star spangled eyes, it's the look of pure justice.
     
    >"N-nein! Anything but zat!" - she begs.
    "It's too late. You are already free."
    >Her figure turns hard and stony as her eyes are replaced with fifty stars and thirteen stripes.
    >The deed is done, Nazitavia is now another stone statue for the birds to shit on.
    >"Oh, Norman~." - coos a voice from behind.
    >You turn to see the Aryan Beauty in a sexy Uncle Sam costume staring at you from the other side of the hallway.
    >"I couldn't help but notice that marvelous display of justice. And you know that freedom gets my cooch hotter than a Gorge Foreman grill. How about you and me celebrate by making sparks fly?"
    >Your huge figure marches over to her and embraces her in a kiss like a solder coming home from the front lines.
    >Today was a JUSTICE day.
     
    >Be Norman.
    >Go to country called Arhemland for vacation.
    >They have a Colosseum for events.
    >Go there for the fun of it.
    >The event has not started yet, but people are screaming their heads off for the show to start.
    >Eventually the spiked gate opens up and out comes... retards?
    >They spread out in completely random directions. Some even stop to taste the sand.
    >The people are screaming their heads off, they really like seeing these guys drool all over themselves.
    >Suddenly, a man in an ogre suit that looks like Shrek walks into the stage.
    >The crowd eats dat shit up, they scream like never before.
    >Ogre guy walks to the center of the stage.
    >"RETARDS OF THE THUNDER DOME! WELCOME TO THE RETARD RODEO!" - he shouts.
    >Some of the tards stop licking the floor to listen to him.
    >"Now gather around for story time!"
    >The retards storm in his direction, some fall and get run over.
    >Eventually the crowd gathers around and sits patiently for the story.
    >The crowd goes dead silent, eager to hear every word this ogre has to say.
    >He gets down to their level.
    >"Once upon a time. There was an ogre, just like you. And he lived in a smelly old swamp, just like you."
    >He tries to give off this ominous tone to sound mysterious.
    >The only thing heard now is the laughter of the thousand people filling the seats.
    >The ogre continues.
    >"What he would like to do, is stuff unions in kids, just like you!"
    >The crowd goes wild again, they start brandishing onions from their pockets.
    >Hundreds of roots go flying in the air as they begin pelting the retards with all they've got.
    >The tard brigade start crying their eyes out, tears stain the sandy floor.
    >Suddenly, a hazmat team run into the stage and start holding the retards down.
    >They begin ramming all of the onions they can get into their assholes.
    >The ogre in the middle is laughing his ass off.
    >The tards beg as the crowd yells for more.
    >Today was an ogre day.
     
    >Be Norman.
    >For some reason, you can't say Rarity's name.
    >No matter how hard you try, all you say is a long line of 'rara's.
    >Today, you and Purple are going over to the movies for a friendly get together.
    >"Say Norman? What movie should we watch?" - asks Purple
    "Maybe Pacific Rim? I've heard good thing about it."
    >"Great, I'll go get the movie tickets. You can go help the other girls at the snack bar."
    >You turn around to see the girls in line.
    >All except for Pink, she's busy filling an entire tub with popcorn butter.
    >Aryan is up soon, time to be polite and pay for her. Luckily she's also the last in line, so you don't have to pay for the other girls.
    >You walk up to her just as she brings out her purse.
    "Let me pay for it." - you say.
    >"Why thank you, Norman."
    "No problem Rararararararararararararararararararararararaararararara-"
    >OH GOD, I'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
    "-rararararararararararara-."
    >Aryan just looks annoyed and walks away after rolling her eyes.
    >Orange smacks you on the back of the head to shut you up. Good think it works too.
    >Oh god, this is embarrassing, you fucked things up royally.
    >Whatever, you hope the movie is good enough to make up for the mistake.
    >The movie finishes without any problems, and it was awesome to boot!
    >Just as you walk out of the theater, something catches your eye.
    >Pinkie is fumbling with the bucket of butter, and is about to land on Aryan!
    "Rarararara?"
    >She doesn't hear you, tie to take action!
    >You leap in between the two of them and the full wave of butter into your chest.
    >You fall to the floor in pain as the heat scorches your skin.
    >"Oh my, Norman!" - says Aryan.
    >"Are you okay Norman?"
    "Ugh, Rarararararararararararararararararararara-."
    >"GODDAMMIT, NORMAN!"
     
    >Be Norman.
    >Be walking in school.
    >See new girl.
    >She's Purple.
    >But most importantly, she's carrying a lot of books.
    >She wobbles, she twists and shakes.
    >Finnaly she trips over, the books she held tightly spill onto the floor.
    >She frantically tries to pick them up, but you won't give her the chance.
    >You swoop down to you knees to meet the girl, your eyes lock with her's.
    >She begins to sweat, her entire body is sreaming for mercy.
    >You bring youself to her face, "Let me help you with those.".
    >Her dignity shatters, tears well in her eyes.
    >"Y-yes, thank you..." - she weakly says.
    >As you begin to give her each book, your penis gets harder and harder.
    >All of the women of the school watch in shock, the men's glares cut deep.
    >As the final book makes it's way into her hands, you say...
    >"It was my privilege..."
     
    >Be Brad.
    >An average day of school inside of Canterlot high.
    >Star putting up books inside of your locker.
    >Suddenly a new girl bumps into your leg.
    >She on the floor, rubbing her head.
    >Her eyes turn to you, they widen from the anticipation of what's to come next.
    >It's too late for her, today, you hunt for a different type of rape...
    >You reach your hand down to her level.
    >"You okay?" - you say in your masculin and dominating tone.
    >Tears well in her eyes, a few escape and run down her purple cheaks.
    >She reluctantly grabs it as she looks away.
    >The men and women of the school take notice to what's going on, a crowd soon gathers.
    >As she is lifted from the ground, the men's pants are lifted from their waist.
    >When she takes her first step onto the ground, the room goes dead silent.
    >She utters the few words that echo in the hall way...
    >"T-thank you..."
    >The men burst into ape-like howls as the women break into tears.
    >As everyone freaks out, you keep your cool to say one last thing...
    >"It was my privilege..."
     
    >"Give her the dick, Norman. You know she needs it, you can tell it in her eyes."
    >This has been going on long enough, actually, it's been going on for a week.
    >You are Norman, and currently you are being possessed by the ghost of Rene Descartes.
    >One tiny experiment with magic by Purple gave you the ability to speak with past lives.
    >One of them happened to be Descartes.
    >He's annoying and won't shut up about giving people the "d".
    >"C'mon, Norman. Just look at her! She's begging for the d!"
    >You pull yourself to the corner so talking to him won't make everyone think you're insane.
    "Look, Descartes, that's a dude! And he's Thunder Drums, he hates racists, including me."
    >"What? Really? Damn, you kids sure do dress funny nowadays."
    "Yeah, so stop saying it to everyone."
    >"... I still want you to give him the d."
    "Dammit, Descartes!"
     
    >Be Norman.
    >Brad is sitting at the lunch hall with you, despite being called "The Racist", Brad can land you a spot at the rocker table.
    >These guys are pretty kick ass, they're some nice people hang with.
    >This will be the third time you get to sit there, finally you feel like you're making some friends.
    >You and brad sit down at the table with bowls full of soup.
    >Everyone is really chowing down at the food, this stuff's the shit!
    >Suddenly, you notice that the green haired chick isn't eating.
    "Hey Green Hair, why aren't you eating?" -- you ask.
    >"Oh, because I don't like onions."
    >Without warning, Shrek bursts into the room as a gust of wind carries the scent of onions around.
    >Shrek points at her.
    >"IT'S OGRE FOR YOU NOW, LASS!" - he shouts.
    >He takes slow and powerful steps towards the table.
    >Just as he reaches her face, he turns to you guys and snaps.
    >"Hit it, lads!"
    >As if preparing for this moment, the group keyboardist starts playing an opening riff.
    >The other band members get into possessions at their respective instruments.
    >All but the mic is filled.
    >Shrek pats his ogre hand on your shoulder and points to the mic.
    >"She's all yours, lad!"
    >As the music picks up, Shrek begins raping Green Hair.
    >You start singing.
    >Shrek is now raping her to the song All Star by Smash mouth.
    >Today was a Shreked day.

>Be Twilight.
>Norman came with you into the portal, but for some reason, never became a pony.
>He's a bit frustraiting, but he's still a good friend.
>"Hey, Purple, who's the white tall one?" - ask Norman.
"That would be the pony version of Celestia."
>"So the principal is a princes here? Wow, trippy. It's like the world revolves around our school."
>"Twilight, is this the friend you were talking about?" - ask Princess Celestia.
"Yes, your highness. Norman here is a human, for some strange reason."
>"Well it's very interesting to finnaly meet one of these strange creatures. Did you say they were intelegent creatures?"
>Yes, your majesty. They can some times be more intlegant then ponie-."
>"Hey, Purple, how does she make the sun rise if the Earth spins on an axis?"
"Norman that's not the kind of question to be asking around the prince-."
>"And what's up with these formalities? Aren't you both at the same level of higharchy?"
"Norman, you shouln-."
>"And another thing, why are you a princess anyway? Where's your kingdom? Why do we both live in a crummy old library instead of the one down the hall?"
"Norman, it's not like tha-."
>"And what's the whole deal with the 'princess' thing anyway? Where's the king and queen? There has to be one around here somewher-."
"NORMAN! PLEASE SHUT UP!"
>"What? It only seems befiting of a country to have answers to those questions at the ready."
"Yeah, butthose aren't the kind of questions you should ask around the prince-!"
>Suddenly you feel Celestia's cold glare on your back.
>Look up and see her looking down at you.
"Uh... It's just because he's... new?"
>Now you have to write a ten thousand word report on teaching your beast some maners.
>Goddammit, Norman.

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