Long Distance: Prologue

Part 1

>Year 2, day 133, hour 2, minute 17 since arrival in Ponyville

>Just past 123 weeks

>You are Twilight Sparkle

>You have a pretty good life

>You’re talented at magic (not bragging, that’s an objective fact)

>You’d hatched a dragon called Spike, who is now your assistant, confidante, friend, and your means of sending letters directly to Canterlot (this is not bragging, it’s another objective fact)

>Because of that, you’re studying under Celestia herself (that’s also an objective fact)

>And because of that, you ended up befriending 5 ponies you’d saved Equestria with on multiple occasions (it’s a long story and, again, an objective fact)

>Oh, and you’re a princess now, which is a bit of a big deal (sort of bragging, though you haven’t been assigned any royal duties yet)

>Thankfully the only problems you’ve had recently are books not coming back to your library on time and your cravings of knowledge

>And today you’ve been having cravings for pastries to help power through another night of satisfying your cravings of knowledge

 

 

>So you strap on your saddlebags and step out with Spike to go to Sugarcube Corner, enjoy a nice spring morning, and socialize

>You pass by Applejack’s stand in the market to catch up on things with her and she gives you an apple of a new breed of golden delicious to munch on as you walk

>Rainbow Dash invites you to a demo of her latest aerobatic routine later today, and you make some room in your schedule for it

>You notice Fluttershy and Rarity in the park chatting about something

>You’d go over and join in, but you might end up needing to literally pull Spike away from that conversation

>Detour before Spike sees them

>Stay on schedule, arrive at Sugarcube Corner on time

>Pinkie’s behind the counter, Spike greets her first

>“Hey, Pinkie.”

>“Hiya Twilight! Hi Spike!”

“Hi Pinkie, how are things?”

>”Great! I had a stroke of absolute genius a moment ago. Mister and Missus Cake are out getting Pound Cake preened because he’s molting and left me to foalsit Pumpkin Cake. I figured that Gummy and Pumpkin Cake have a common hobby, so I introduced them and they’re bestest friends now AND I can keep the shop open! The Cakes are gonna be so impressed when they get back!”

“That’s rather… resourceful of you!”

>Oh Celestia please don’t let her make a habit of keeping an alligator and a baby unattended in the same room

 

 

>“It’s a foolproof plan until one of them grows teeth. For the life of me, I cannot find a single store that sells mouth guards in ‘foal’ or ‘baby alligator’ sizes. You’d think somepony would realize there’s a demand for that sort of thing. Speaking of sales, what can I get for you?”

“Phew… oh, six of the signature cupcakes, two frosted blueberry scones, one loaf of wheat bread and a jar of raspberry jam, please.”

>“Comin’ right up, Purplesmart!”

>What?

>You can’t fault her choice of adjectives, but… what?

“Wait, why did you call me ‘purple smart?’”

>You immediately regret asking her

>The realization dawns on you that you just gave her tacit permission to launch into a detailed explanation of something that makes sense only to her

>You can only smile, nod, and make sounds of agreement as she goes on and on about four something and the fourth something for exactly twelve minutes and forty seven seconds

>You spend twelve minutes and forty two seconds of that time reviewing the history of belt buckles

 

 

 

Part 2

>Day ‘I dunno, go ask Twilight’ in Ponyville

>You are Spike, young dragon, Twilight’s assistant, and all around cool dude

>And right now Twilight seems to be doing fine acting like she’s paying attention to what Pinkie’s saying

>It’s pretty obvious, but Pinkie doesn’t notice

>It’s that, or Pinkie just wants to talk and talk and talk and doesn’t care if nopony listens

>Well, nothing to do here.

“Hey Twilight, is it alright if I go out for a quick walk?”

>“Uh huh.”

>Good enough

>Status of this popsicle stand: blown

>It’s a nice day, might as well head for the park.

>Walking walking walking

>At the park, birds chirping, squirrels running around, you get the picture

>More walking

>Oh hey, is that Rarity?

>Sure looks like it

>Fluttershy is there too

>Walking towards them

>You can almost hear them, it seems like Rarity is telling a story

 

 

>“…to tell her, but she simply would not believe that soap with oatmeal mixed into it was a good idea! She thought I was crazy, even! I’ll have you know that it is a fantastic exfoliant. She agreed after I told her that I didn’t intend to eat the oatmeal afterwards, but it was quite an exchange of words before she was even willing to hear why I wanted to combine soap and oatmeal.”

>“So, um, you cleared up that it was for clearing up?”

>“I… Oh dear, I did just say that, didn’t I? I swear, Fluttershy, I never thought I’d get into a conversation so silly that it finds new ways to be silly long after it’s over.”

“Let me guess, you’re talking about Pinkie?”

>“Why, yes- Oh hello, Spike! I haven’t seen you in a while!”

“Hello to you too, Rarity. Hello, Fluttershy.”

>“Are you out running errands for Twilight?”

“Running errands with her, actually. I was just with her at Sugarcube Corner. She’s been studying really late into the night recently and she figured that she could stay awake better if she was full of sugar.”

>“How late?”

“Late enough for me to let the owl take over.”

 

 

>“Ooh, I thought I’d been noticing a bit of sag under her eyes.”

>The wallflower known as Fluttershy bursts into bloom at the mention of animals

>Wow. Seriously, Spike? You’re thinking in poetry about flowers? There’s girly, then there’s that.

>Leave me alone, impulses, I’m busy

>Fine, but we need to discuss this later.

>Whatever

>“I’m not sure that’s good for Owloysius, either. When does he usually wake up during the day?”

“Mid-afternoonish.”

>“Oh, okay. Just make sure he’s getting at least ten hours of peace and quiet. Owls have very sensitive ears and wake easily.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

>Back to the reason you’re here

“So, what was this story you were telling?”

>“Well, it started when I got a make-your-own soap kit on the recommendation of one of my favorite beauty magazine columnists…”

>Dude. Were you even listening earlier? This is girly, and girly is a no-no.

>Yeah, but this is from Rarity

>Oh, right. Carry on.

 

 

 

Part 3

>You are bored

>You are also Twilight Sparkle, but foremost, you’re bored

>Pinkie sure has been jawing on about whatever it is she’s making no sense about, but that’s Pinkie Pie

>It’s slowing down her work on boxing up your order

>You wouldn’t mind, and maybe even enjoy it if it was actually something you could understand, but friendship is about taking the good qualities along with the bad ones

>You’d know, because you have a draft of a thesis you wrote on that subject sitting around and waiting to be finished

>Back to reality, it looks like Pinkie is almost done with your order and seems to be winding down her monologue

>“…but my personal favorite is ‘Butterstick’ because she actually does look kind of like butter. Aaaand here you go, a half dozen cupcakes, two scones, bread and jam, and a couple of cookies on the house just ‘cause we’re buddies. The total is six bits.”

“Thanks. Here you go. Spike, could you take these? My bags are…”

>Wait, where is Spike?

>You don’t remember telling him he could leave

>Granted, you don’t remember much of the last twelve minutes, either

 

 

“Pinkie, do you know where Spike went?”

>“He left when I was putting together your order.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

>“Nah, he didn’t, but he’s at the park.”

“Thanks again. See you later!”

>You levitate the box off of the counter and start heading for the park

>Pinkie is a good friend, despite her quirks

>She’s always had your back

>And her uncanny intuition is just one of those things you learned not to question

>Arriving at the park, you see Spike

>He is directly in front of Rarity and Fluttershy and appears to be talking with them

>OH GREAT, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE HOPING TO SEE

 

 

“Spike!”

>He turns to you with a ‘caught with a claw in the cookie jar’ expression on his face, and the rest of the group is looking your way

“What were you doing, wandering off without telling me where you were going?”

>“Well Pinkie was doing that thing where she doesn’t stop talking and you were going to be there for a while, so-“

“You still didn’t tell me where you were going. Between tracking you down, listening to Pinkie, and watching Dash’s new flight routine later, there are twenty minutes on my schedule THAT I DO NOT HAVE if I’m going to keep a perfect balance between rest, study time, and awareness in my circadian rhythm!”

>Fluttershy chimes in

>“We were just talking about that, actually. Try not to push Owloysious too far out of his natural sleep cycle.”

>And now Rarity

>“And the same goes for you, too. You’re starting to look ragged around the edges from all of those late nights.”

“I appreciate the concern, but the Princesses haven’t received a report in over a month. I’m trying to write a really good one to make up for it. Now, Spike-”

>“Can’t I catch up with you later?”

>Ignoring his protests, you wrap your magic around the tip of his tail and hoist it well above his center of gravity

“No. We’re going straight back to the library, and we’re taking a shortcut.

 

 

>He’s visibly embarrassed to be in such a compromising position

>Serves him right

>Your horn glows brighter as you prepare your teleportation spell

>You don’t notice until you cast it, but something doesn’t feel right

>You’re already blinking out of existence

>Uh-

>

>

>

>

 

 

>-oh

>You land on all four hooves, feeling a squelch of wet grass and dirt below you

>You’re shaking at the knees from exhaustion

>Your breaths are coming fast and your throat burns

>Your heart is doing overtime

>Your head and horn throb with pain

>You are not on a wooden floor

>This is not your library

>That spell shouldn’t make you feel so tired

>You’d done it hundreds of times before

>Why was this time different?

>You’re too tired to think about it right now

>Maybe they’re right

>Maybe you should take a break and lay down

>As your magic fizzles, you drop Spike and the baked goods

>You lay down on your face