Of Chaos and Ponies PT1

“Am I the only one who thinks this is absolutely fucking retarded?”

>The other small horses in the large room look at you with varying expression on their faces

>Pink Nonphysics is the first one to speak up as she is now sitting in your lap instead the chair on the far side of the room.

>”Oh don’t be silly, Nonny! You and Eris will get along just fine!”

>Pinkie Pie is suddenly crawling around inside your shirt, stretching it out.

>You are far too peeved to care though.

>You look to the others where you see no sign of support.

>You are really on your own on this one.

“Seriously, guys?”

>You are answered with more unsure looks.

“Nopony can see anything wrong with this at all? Nothing could possibly go wrong?”

>”You two have virtually the same sense of humor. I don’t know why you have a problem with this.” Purplesmart interjects.

>Pinkie’s head pops out of your shirt and she looks you directly in the eyes.

>Both yours and hers head occupy the neck hole of your T-shirt.

>You feel a pair of hoof snake across your sides, up your chest, finally coming to a rest on your shoulders.

>Goddamnit.

“Pinkie, stop it.”

>Her expression was one of annoyance for the briefest of moments before she smiled.

>”Okie dokie lokie, Anon. But I’m telling ya, I would make a great coat if you would let me!” she says cryptically as fuck.

>Before she removes herself from your shirt, she takes your nipples in her hooves and squeezes.

>With hooves.

>Of course though, nopony saw that as it happened on the inside of your shirt.

>Also, nopony seemed to care about how close she was because they all chalked it up to average for the pink equine-being.

>You are afraid of actively combating Pinkie when she gets too close as you had your ass whooped by Rainbow Fag after you punched the pink one in the face for grabbing your ass.

>Pinkie Pie wasn’t even your only wannabe rapist.

>You have, not one, but four of those motherfuckers.

 

>Rarity is eyeing your body from the other side of the room but tries to play it off when you see this by looking at the extremely interesting ceiling.

>Fluttershy is avoiding looking at you at all.

>Everyp0ne else is here for the purpose of making you live with the most dangerous of the four.

>It pisses you off too which brings you back to the situation at hand.

“You let me get this straight. You all want me to live with him because you think I can help him ease into the pony way of life?”

>”Yes. And ‘she’ is a girl, Anon. Stop being so disrespectful.”

>Fucking Grapedrank.

“Twilight, I’m sorry but no. First of all, she is a he. Discord changed genders because he believes he’ll have better chances with me that way. Secondly, I know little about what you guys do day to day. In fact, I don’t like the pony way of living but respect it so I don’t get arrested. Thirdly, how many times do I have to tell you he’s tried and is trying to rape me to get you to listen?”

>”Anonymous, that’s horrible! Don’t lie about something like that! Anyways, I’m sorry to say this but you don’t have a choice. By royal decree, Eris is your roommate.”

>fuckthisgayearth.gif

>At that moment, female Discord teleports into with a flash of blinding light that blinds everyone but you.

>Dissy grabs your junk and slithers his/her long tongue over the entirety of your face while everyone recovers.

>You start to cry a little.

>Be Anon.

>Your roommate is the embodiment of chaos.

>The embodiment of chaos wants your dick.

>These are your stories.