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DERPY SHORT

 

>Day how in Equestria.

>You wake up to the unholy light of Princess Sunbutt with the accuracy of a hawk.

>Light right in the eyes, you crawl out of bed and do the normal routine.

>After you're finished you head downstairs to a mess of chaos that would rival even Discord.

>The couch is half burnt with stuffing stuck to the walls.

>Your lamp is leaking. LEAKING?!

>Your tv hangs from the roof and you can see hundreds of half eaten muffins everywhere.

>You head into the kitchen and walk right out.

>Might as well burn this place to Tartarus to clean it. It's be faster

>Before you head of to go buy matches you notice a grey and golden ball of fur fall out of the oven.

>It looks up at you with one eye fixed on you and the other god knows where it's focusing. It gives you a sheepish grin and rubs the back of it's head with a hoof.

>This is undoubtedly Derpy Hooves and you can't comprehend why she is here and what she has done.

"Derpy" You say with the fury of 1,000 hell hounds. Her ears and head droop, she knows she is in trouble.

"What are you doing in my house and what have you done?"

>Her face becomes riddled with guilt.

>"I just don't know what went wrong."

>FUCKING DERPY!

 

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FILLY PRINCESSES

 

>Day More Tea in Equestria

>Right now you're sitting down to eat breakfast in Castle Canterlot's dining room.

>The Princesses were kind enough to let you stay upon your arrival and 6 months later, you're still here. Maybe you should get a place to live?

>Eyeing the massive stacks of pancakes before you, you ready your weapons and prepare to eat these bad boys.

>Before you dig in, you see something in the corner of your eye.

>Turning to the window to... The princesses pulling faces at you. Really?

>Standing up and leaving your plate of golden amazing you walk over to them.

>You open the window and notice, the princesses are little fillies.

"Wh-what the... H-How?"

>"We've been caught, run!"

>The two little filly princesses run through the garden as fast as their little legs can take them.

>You quickly dive through the open window and give chase.

>"He's coming sister."

>"Fear not, we have a plan."

>They dart around a corner and you follow right behind you.

>Luna pushes a teddy under your foot causing you to fall and you hit your head on a nearby vase, knocking you out cold.

>When you awake you try to move but you can't.

>You look around and notice you're in what looks like Celestia's room, and you've been tied to a chair.

>"Ahh, so good of you to join us Anon."

>You give a glare to Filly Sunbutt.

>"If you don't smile then we shall not give you any scones."

>You look at the table before you and see a table full of what looks like what the Queen of England has for 'morning tea'.

>There's tea, biscuits, scones and the fanciest tea set to go with it.

>Your stomach decides to growl, reminding you of the tower you left in the dining room.

>Well if you want something to eat, you're going to have to play along.

>You give a smile then Princess Luna shoves a scone down your throat with some whipped cream.

>You cough and splutter a little but try to swallow as much of it as you can because you're hungry.

>"Would you like more tea Anonymous?"

>Fucking Filly Princesses.

 

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LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!

 

>Day Let it Snow in Equestria

>You are anon and little Anon has been feeling blue today.

>You haven't had sex in years and every time you try to rub one out, Pinkie's sense tells her you're feeling sick and she bursts in.

>But no more, today you're so backed up that it's going to happen even if Pinkie wears it.

>You get home from work and you're about to throw off your pants when the lights come on.

>There are ponies everywhere all yelling "SURPRISE!"

>A pink ball bounces over to you.

>"Were you surprised Anon, Were ya? Were ya?"

"Yes Pinkie, thank you."

>Things get a little more blue while you go around talking with ponies.

>The whole time you begin to see everything as sexy.

>Punch fountain? Stick it in, Anon.

>Balloon? I'd tap that.

>That flank? Dat flank.

>You manage to sneak out and quickly dash behind some bushes the nearby park.

>Bye pants.

>Bye, bye boxers.

>You begin to rub one out.

>This has never felt so good, it's like heaven but in penis form.

>So close.

>Just before you climax Pinkie jumps out of the bush.

>"ANON!"

>Too late.

>Finally.

>You ejaculate everywhere and you can't stop, theres so much.

>Several minutes later Pinkie pops her head out of your snow-semen.

>"Nonny, you made it snow. Lets go make some snow cones."

>Today was an early winter.

 

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HUMAN FASHION IN EQUESTRIA

 

>Day New Fashion Trends in Equestria

>For about a week you've been helping Rarity with her designs, considering your world's fashion differs, she begged you for help.

>There were a lot of things she had to modify in your drawings, considering ponies can't wear human clothing but she's been loving every minute and hasn't been afraid to tell you.

>Every. 5. Minutes.

>'Oh Anonymous dear, I can't thank you enough for your help.'

>Annoying as it has been, you have been enjoying it.

>You never were one for fashion but you can remember some things that were popular back home and your lack of knowledge hasn't bothered Rarity at all.

>And today is the last day, this afternoon you will be a free man again.

>Giving Rarity's door a knock, you turn around to gaze over the town, planning what kind of job you'll do next.

>You then notice something odd in this scene.

>It's the ponies, they're wearing what looks like... Underwear?

>Not just any underwear, the exact type you're wearing.

>Boxer briefs.

>Each with their own design, usually matching their coat also some have rather odd patterns and even weirder colours.

>Most have Rarity's signature design, the shiniest jewels somewhere on the design.

>"Ah, Anonymous, do come in."

"Uh, Rarity?"

>"Yes darling, what is the matter?"

"Those ponies are wearing-"

>"My latest design, yes. The one you mentioned just the other day, under-something?"

"Underwear, just uh, why?"

>"Well you see, I designed a few pairs to fit ponies after even made a set. And when Pinkie came to visit she instantly fell in love with them, ordered 7 pairs that night. Oh and after that, the style just took off. What do you think? Magnific, no?"

>Unable to process what you are looking at you just head home.

>Rarity calls out to you but you're in auto-pilot and keep walking, you don't stop until you reach your bed.

>You climb back in and try to take your mind off the latest fashion trend you just gave these ponies.

 

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CHERRY POPPING [PART 1]

 

>Day Cherry in Equestria

>"HIYA ANON!" squeals the little pink party pone when she sees you.

"Hey Pinkie, What are you up to?"

>"Oh, just floating around." She gives a snickering giggle as balloons float out of her mane and suspend her in midair. "What about you?"

"I'm going to go cherry popping."

>"I wish I could help but you see... I haven't told anypony this but when I was a little filly my big sister Inky-"

"No cherry then I don't care." you call out as you walk off.

>Besides, you've already picked out your first 'cherry' for the day.

>You arrive at Carousel Boutique and walk inside, as the doorbell rings throughout the shop.

>"Ahh Anonymous, how can I help you today?"

"Is Sweetie Belle here?"

>"No, she's off with her friends. Those girls never quit, always so eager to get their cutie marks."

"Good."

>"Hmm? Why's that dear?"

"I'm going cherry popping."

>"Why Anon, I hope you don't mean what I think you do."

>As you walk towards her she backs away keeping the same distance.

"Yes, I do and I know your cherry is ripe for picking."

>"A-Anon, I'm afraid I'm saving myself for marriage... I'm a lady after all."

>Her flank hits the wall and now she's cornered.

"I'll find a diamond later."

---

>You leave the unconscious Rarity in a pit of her tears. On your way out you turn the 'open' sign to 'closed', wouldn't want someone to see the mess you just made.

>You take a deep breath of fresh air as you set out for the next cherry.

 

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CHERRY POPPING [PART 2] [Somewhat Explicit]

 

>Day Cherry in Equestria

>You're walking through the market, feeling refreshed after popping your first cherry for today.

>But you're not finished yet, there's still many untouched mares in this town who have yet to feel the power that is your penis.

>You feel a rush of air fly through your hair as a blue blur flies overhead.

>Looking up you see Rainbow Dash flying back towards you.

>She narrowly misses you and comes to a halt before turning to you.

>"Hey Anon, you doing much today?"

"Yeah just after some cherries."

>"Oh cool, I'll help you out if you help me with this sweet move I've been wanting to try out for a while."

"I'd love to see your 'moves' Dash but first I gotta ask, are you a virgin?"

>"Wha-what kind of question is that?"

"Just tell me, please."

>"W-well... I've never been with a stallion if that's what you mean."

"Close enough, let's go."

>The two of you head off to the lake where you and Dash set up an obstacle course. The second you're finished she flies off to get started.

>"READY?!"

"WHAT?!"

>She flies through all the obstacles as fast as her wings can manage.

>You sit there in awe of her speed, mobility... Okay, you're just checking out her flank. There's no speed capable of outrunning your eyes when it comes to flank watching.

>On the last obstacle she hits her hoof and wipes out, you rush over to check on her.

"DASH! You okay?"

>You freeze as you see her in the perfect position.

>Face down, ass up.

>Her tail slightly brushed aside for you to get a view of her marehood.

>'It's too late, dig in, don't wait.' you chant inside your head as you take off your pants.

>"Yeah, I'm okay... I just-WOAH! What the hay are you doing Anon."

>You firmly take hold of her flank,

"I told you, I'm out for cherries."

>"B-but I've had sex before..."

"You said not with a guy, that's close enough for me."

>"Anon wait!"

>You ignore her cries for you to stop and enter her rainbow cunt.

>You hum a happy little tune as you thrust into Dash. She now tries to fly away but you've got a firm hold of her.

>Despite your vice-grip, she tries flying faster and her wings make a weird vibration on your dick.

>It feels too good and you let out your seed deep inside her.

>She only cries out even louder.

>You get up and dust yourself off.

"That makes two."

>'Wait, *sniff* who e-else have you raped?"

>You don't answer, instead you put your pants back on and walk away, still humming the same tune as you set out for the next cherry.

 

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CHERRY POPPING [PART 3] [Explicit]

 

>Day Cherry in Equestria

>You've popped a lot of cherries lately and luckily, they've all said nothing but you're not counting on that luck to hold out much longer.

>You've decided to pop one more before you're thrown off to jail or whatever punishment these ponies carry out for rape.

>This cherry is like the tip of the icing, a princess.

>You read in one of Twilight's books after you finished popping hers and were waiting for Spike to get back, that Princesses must remain pure until marriage.

>That's perfect, it's like reaching for the furthest stars or sun in this case because Celestia is one powerful mare.

>Brute force isn't going to be enough to win you this cherry pie.

>First things first, you've told Celestia that you'll be making a trip to Canterlot and she's offered you a room in the Castle.

>Which is perfect, you originally thought you'd have to scout the castle grounds just to learn how to sneak in.

>When she showed you to where you'll be staying and the room was amazing. Everything was sparkling clean, even looked brand new and the bed looked comfy enough to be a cloud but you were more amazed by something Celestia said.

>"If you need anything, my quarters are just down the hall."

>It's like there was a god almighty ensuring you popped this cherry. It will be so easy.

>You begin to feel all giddy as watch the sunset in the Canterlot Gardens. You wait a few minutes before you start heading up to your room, along the way you bump into Luna.

>"Ahh, how fares things Anonymous?"

"Good, you?"

>"Excellent, you need not fear anything this night. We watch over all during it's dark silence."

>This pony freaks you out a little, it's the way she talks.

"Thank you then... Uh how's Celestia?"

>"She is well, and a little relieved to be heading to bed early this day."

>You use all your willpower to not cheer at that.

"I-Is she okay?"

>"Yes, running a kingdom can take it's toll sometimes."

"I'm sure it does." you fake a loud yawn and stretch, "Say, I'm pretty tired too."

>"You best get some sleep then, Goodnight Anonymous."

"Night Princess."

>You slowly walk down the hall with a slight slump in your step until you no longer hear Luna's hoof steps.

>You then pick up the pace, not wanting to waste anymore time.

>It takes some guesses which door is Celestia's room but you get it around the 8th guess.

>You slowly creep up until you can see the sleeping Alicorn's face.

>A devilish grin appears across your face as you remove the covers.

>You carefully adjust her hind legs into position and flick her tail out the way, revealing your prize.

>"1, 2, 3, 4, I can hardly wait anymore."

>You chant softly as you remove all your clothes.

>"5, 6, 7, 8, stick it in, no need to wait."

>Slowly, you guide your fully erect-member to Celestia's tight marehood. You've never felt anything so tight, you knew mares could clench but not this much.

>The speed is agonising but your heart feels like it's going to burst, if Celestia wakes up, you're dead.

>When you have your dick fully inserted you pause, you can feel her grip loosen but it still feels firmly wrapped around you.

>You pull backwards, taking in the warm feeling of her cunt. None of the others felt this good.

>In the excitement you quickly thrust back into Celestia then freeze when she lets out a loud moan. She stirs slightly from her slumber but doesn't wake up, only adjusts herself a little.

>You still wait a moment before running your hands along her soft coat on her flank.

>You then give it a squeeze, taking a tight grip before continuing your hip's rhythm, ensuring each thrust won't wake her.

>The sensation is amazing, the adrenaline and the feeling of her untouched marehood. You can't help but pick up the pace.

>Celestia's face turns a tint of red as she lets out soft moans in her sleep, she must be able to feel your dick all the way into her dreams.

>At this point you don't care if she wakes up, it's too late now.

>Your hips now thrust harder as you feel the climax approaching.

>You've reached your peak as you spray your load deep inside the sleeping princess.

>This time she does wake up, she turns her head and sees the naked human behind her.

>"Anonymous, I trust there is an explanation for this situation."

>Her voice was shocked and confused at first but turned into anger before she finished that sentence.

>You stay there, mouth agape and your dick still firmly planted inside the royal vagins as you try and think of a possible explanation but you've got nothing.

"I was looking for cherries." you say with a proud grin.

>Her eyes glow a fierce shade of... fire. The eyes burrow deep into your own as she stands up and faces you.

>"Anonymous the human, you are hereby, banished!" she bellows out in that Canterlot voice while her horn blasts you with magic.

>You try to shield yourself with your arms from the light. A second later you feel a cold breeze, you open your eyes to see a dull and empty wasteland. Looking around, you see nothing but off to the horizon you can see Equestria. You're on the moon, naked. Looks like you can breathe up here somehow, fucking magic.

>You try and wrap yourself up with your arms for warmth and all you can think about is the fucking cold.

"Worth it!"

 

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CAN'T FIGHT THE PINK

 

>"Anonymous, I've come for you!"

>You hear Pinkie yelling outside Sugarcube Corner, you turn and look outside the window to see the pink pone sporting a leather jacket down to the floor and bolero hat. You just turn Applejack who is sitting beside you.

"What is she doing?"

>"Ahh'dunno Anon, it's just Pinkie bein' Pinkie." she says with a shrug before returning to her cinnamon bun.

>You stand up and head outside to see what stupid thing she's up to.

>"Ahh, come to meet your maker have we?"

"Pinkie, what are you doing?" you say with a deep sigh.

>She holds up a crayon drawing of you with 'WANTED! HUGGED OR ALIVE' written along the top.

>"I've come to collect the bounty on your head, don't try and run Anon of the east."

>Today has been boring as hell so that probably explains what happened next.

>You wrap your jacket around your face and tie it, leaving only your eyes visible. You then strike a series of kung-fu poses before putting on your most offensive asian accent.

"Does my wall dance scare you Pinkie Pie?"

>"Let's do this!" she says as she throws up the hat and charges at you.

>You didn't think she was actually going to attack you.

>"ATTACK HUG!" she screams as her hooves wrap around in a vice like grip around your chest.

"C-can't... breathe!"

>She let's go just before you pass out due to lack of oxygen.

>Fucking Pinkie.

 

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LUNA WANTS A PET

 

>”Lulu, are you sure about this? We can just get you a bat or something?”

>”Neigh Tia, we have made our decision.”

>Your sister remained silent as you continue to mark out the appropriate symbols on the floor.

>You were tired of being alone at night and as such, you were going to summon a creature from the eternal beyond to keep you company.

>With her magic, Celestia placed candles and lit them in around the circle you now finished marking out.

>You look over to Celestia who is still has a look of concern, you don’t blame her.

>You’re not 100% sure what will come out when you summon it, all you know is that whatever creature it is will obey your command.

>”Ready Tia?”

>”As I’ll ever be,” she stands by your side as you read the incantation.

>”Ykeahuke wkop zeconx, teak pc jupponj. Pac hte jmikih vuixe ow foklxj vuixe cou aykojj zakkiekj hofakxj pc yallinv. Omen hte majjavefac zehfeen ouk foklxj anx yope wokht.”

>As you chant a small breeze begins from the centre of the circle, slowly increasing in speed.

>The flames on each candle intensifies as the breeze picks up to a gust of wind. Before long it feels like there is a tornado in the centre of the room.

>You can hardly see from the wind forcing your eyes close, you can make out that a small black ooze has appeared and is climbing upwards to form a shape.

>A hallowing moan erupts of the creature and resonates throughout your body.

>”WHAT IS HAPPENING?” Tia calls out to you; her face clearly showing her panic.

>”IT’S WORKING!” you shout back, you can feel your body tremble with excitement. This has been the moment you’ve been waiting for, finally a creature of the night to call your own.

>The black ooze, now standing tall, begins to refine its own shape. You recognise this form from the book of mythological creatures you read prior to this summoning.

>It’s a human, you know it.

>The creature is bipedal with only two arms attached to its torso; the creature also has hands not claws.

>No tail, wings, horns or body parts that look like a mismatch.

>As the ooze now begins to give itself colour, your guess is confirmed as it has pale white skin and matted fur atop its head.

>You couldn’t be happier with the result, it’s one of the least blood-thirsty creatures and these beings are rather intelligent. Tia won’t need to worry about an evil demon running rampant anymore.

>As the creature’s shape has finished being moulded, the gusts of wind dies and the candles blow themselves out.

>You quickly grab a blanket when you notice the creature is nude and step towards it.

>”Luna be-“

>”It’s alright sister, he won’t hurt us. He’s harmless.” you say in an attempt comfort your sister as you wrap the blanket around the human.

>The human looks up to you with blank stare and drool oozing from him open mouth.

>It’s extremely off putting.

>”Um, hello human, I am Luna… and this is my sister Celestia. What is your name?”

>He looks tries to speak but his voice is hoarse and he has a slight stutter.

“A-A-,” he takes a deep breath, “Anonymous.”

>”Anonymous, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

>He continues his blank stare, directly into your eyes. You’ve never felt so awkward from one creature.

>He begins to shift and squirm on the spot with a look of discomfort on his face.

>”Anonymous, are you alright?”

>He nods happily then says with a proud tone.

“There’s a candle in my bum.”

>You’re taken aback as you try and process what this creature said and with such pride.

>”It appears you’re right sister. He is harmless. Congratulations!”

>Celestia beams at you with a huge shit-eating grin.

>”We desire a refund.”

>You look to Anonymous who now has his tongue hanging out of his mouth while panting like a dog.

>Fucking humans.

 

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