[X] 03 Late night stories

>You wake up to hollow steps that echo throughout your house.

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>It is at the dead of night and you have to fight for a few moments to light the lantern with some matches.

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>Holy shit, what fucking asshole...

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>Wait, you are alone, where are those noises coming from?!

>Ghosts?

>Robbers?

>Both unlikely.

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>The sound is coming from above, it sounds like someone or something is walking around on your fucking roof!

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>You put your bathrobe on and get to the door, set on chewing this guy's ass out.

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>For a moment you hesitate as you put your hand on the handle, during your childhood you were afraid of the dark, overcoming those fears only when you realized that there was nothing lurking in the blackness of the night.

>On earth.

>Who knows what abominable creatures stalk the nights here in Equestria?

>taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap

>Then again, you don't give a fuck and you want to sleep in peace.

>You open the door and step outside, a chilly breeze blows and the moon shines bright, it's not dark at all.

>You take a few steps and turn around to see what piece of shit thinks it would be funny-

>As you hold the lantern toward the roof you see Gilda staring at you like you caught her masturbating.

“Get off my roof, Gilda! It is in the middle of-”

>The griffon jumps down before you finish your sentence, before she hits the ground she unfurls her huge wings and lands gracefully between you and the door.

>A talon whips up and pokes you in the chest “You don't HAVE a backdoor!” she says accusingly.

>Oho, looks like she is one of the bright ones, eh?

“Oh, sure I have, it's in my cellar that leads to the secret garden where I buried all the bodies.”

>”What?”

>You have trouble not laughing at her dumb face.

>The bird-cat notices.

>She scoffs, takes a look around, then turns around and enters your home.

“Hey! Sto-”

>BANG! CLICK.

>Wait...that sounded an awful lot like your bolt lock...and your keys are still inside anyway.

“AAAHH! Open my fucking door! You cunt! What the fuck is wrong with you! This is my home! Get out of there!”

>You start hitting your door relentlessly.

“Open the fuck up! Are you stupid? This is my place! What the fuck?!”

>After a short time you stop and just bang your head a few times against the door.

>You can hear her laughing inside.

>You can't believe this fucking bird, if she isn't going to open the door in the next five minutes...

>Oh, she will regret this!

>She fucking will!

>You will make her regret the very day she was born!

“Open the door, Gilda! Fuck!”

>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

>You take a look into your window...is that...there is a light but...THIS BITCH IS RAIDING YOUR FRIDGE!!!

“AAHHH!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!! I WILL RAPE YOU! AND THEN I WILL KILL YOU! AND THEN I WILL RAPE YOU AGAIN! GET AWAY FROM MY FRIDGE GOD DAMMIT YOU PIECE OF SHIT I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINE AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT! AAAAHHH!!!”

>BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!

>Why is your fucking door so sturdy?!

>You hear dogs barking and look around, just at the right moment to see lights flicker to life in the windows of your neighbors.

>Then you hear a distant voice “Shut up or I'll call the guards!”

>A different voice from a different direction “Celestia damnit! I have to work tomorrow, be quiet!”

>”Could you please tune it down? I need my beauty sleep.” the hell? Is Rarity even living that close?!

>Shit.

>Five minutes pass as you wait, knocking only occasionally.

>Nothing happens.

>Slowly it's getting cold.

>Ten minutes pass.

>There isn't any light burning inside anymore and you could swear you heard that trademark squeak that your bed makes when you get in.

>This fucking griffon...

>Another ten minutes pass, by now you are certain that you won't see your bed again this night.

>You can't believe this...this...fuck it, you're outta here, it's way too cold to stay outside and swear any longer.

>Revenge is coming though...

>But for now you are fucking tired and in dire need of a warm and cozy bed.

>Fucking Gilda...

>But where can you go?

>Hmmm...

>Rarity?

>No, Sweetie Belle is probably with her and she is already pissed off enough as it is...not that you care, but you don't want to hear her 'whining' again, your ears start bleeding from only the thought alone of her doing this.

>Pinkie Pie...you don't even know where she lives, she is probably still all grumpy because you never show up to her parties.

>There is no way you will approach that scary black magic user at night.

>You are too lazy and frozy to walk all the way to Fluttershy's and the one with the spare key to your house is sleeping in the clouds, no way you can get there now.

>Only one is left! Applejack! The farm is just around the corner and you could totally sleep in the barn or something!

>You get going.

>As you pass the gate that marks the beginning of Sweet Apple Acres you notice a window still alight.

>Good, now you don't have to wake them up. Even if this is Big McIntosh that is still awake you could just ask him, for all you know he sure is bro material and wouldn't deny a friend in need.

>Your feet are starting to get awfully cold as you grab some tiny stones and throw them one by one at the window.

>First one doesn't even hit the window, way to go Anonymous, way to go...

>Just as you send the sixth one the window opens and a orange mare emerges.

>”AnACKH!” oh fuck “Anon, why yer throwin' rocks at me in the midd-”

>You hastily put a finger in front of your mouth

“Psshhhhh!!!”

>Applejack takes a quick look back inside, then continues more silently >“Anon, why in tarnation are yer comin' this late? The letter said after sunset, not quarter past eleven. Wait a sec.”

>That said she vanishes inside again, you wait patiently.

>Eventually AJ comes trotting around the corner, stetson missing and one brow pulled up into orbit “Ah already thought yer wouldn't..., heh, better late than never, s'right?”

>Dafuq?

“Applejack, I have no idea what you are talking about, and I never got a letter from you or something like that.”

>The tan mare turns her head to the side and whispers to herself “Dang Derpy, ah told yer t'was important....Anyway, if yer not here fer the letter, what brought yer here then?”

“Okay, it went like this:”

>You tell her a made up story of how you locked yourself out, the thing between you and Gilda is nobody else's business. Because it's now personal between you two...

>You ask her if you may sleep in the barn or something and she, unexpectedly, agrees eagerly, telling you she wanted to talk to you anyway.

~

>A few minutes later.

>So here you are, sitting in a barn, waiting for Applejack to come back and bring you a blanket. The only source of light is a dim lantern with a few torchbugs inside, of course fire is too dangerous in a barn full of hay, but it isn't even half as bright as a normal one.

>At least you're not freezing anymore.

>Eventually Applejack enters, she is too far away for the lantern to light her up so you don't see her clearly. But one thing you see, even with a big pack of stuff on her back she easily closes the doors to the barn.

>What the...oh yeah, she wanted to talk, wonder what that could be about...

>She steps into the light and puts more than just a single blanket down, there are at least five or six, some pillows and a carton with some bottles inside.

“That's aaaah...”

>”Yer thought ah would let yer sleep all alone in this big'n'scary barn, sugarcube? Think again.” AJ quickly sets up a little camp, but she made a mistake, there is only a single large makeshift bed, not two-

>Apples jumps on the barn-bed and pets the space next to her “Come on already, yer not afraid o'me, are ya?” and a wink.

>Just talk...

>Phew, why are you getting so bothered by this anyway? It's not like she is going to rape you, right?

“What's that?”

>You point at the bottles as you lie down comfortably across from the tan mare.

>She takes two glasses out of the carton, puts them down and fills them with whatever it is that these bottles contain.

>It's certainly not cider...

>You take one and chug it down, it burns down your throat like liquid fire and makes you cough like someone who...really likes coughing.

“Hell, Applejack, ehhh, what is this?”

>AJ is amused by your reaction to the demonic brew.

>She grabs the second glass with a hoof, how is this even possible?, And downs it in one go.

>She expels a big and satisfied sigh “Ahhh! Good, huh? Ah made it mahself.”

“Sure, hard stuff. So what is it you wanted to talk about? Maybe if it is something important we should get to it before we get drunk.”

>Like that was the punchline she fills the glasses once more “Hm, nah, nothin' important. Ah jus'...felt like it. Has anyp0ny ever told ya about what estrus is?”

“No.”

>”Good.”