Title:           [FR] The Best Human Contest - Part 6
Author:          4PP138100M
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/xVKt4ZjZ
First Edit:      Wednesday 19th of December 2012 06:23:10 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 19th of December 2012 06:23:10 PM CDT

>You are Etiquette
>And you are pissed
>Rarity tried to help you so much, and you were so close to winning
>The ponies had seen your grumpieness and offered to let you help with the race
>You weren't even mad that Team Gore had won, they played fair and square
>What really ticked you off was that Picklehead
>He had cheated
>Him and his stupid reality-altering jar
>You knew Team Gore felt the same way
>And many of the other namefags
>They wanted him to be disqualified, but the ponies had never said 'Oh remember everyone, no magic jars!'
>You had to stop Picklehead, and make this contest fair
>Its a good thing your job in the race is to fire the starting gun
>Now to make sure it wouldn't be a blank
 
>You are now Twilight
>Something has been nagging you all day
When Fluttershy had asked you for help, you had said yes of course because she was one of your best friends
>But why
>Why these challenges, and why only humans?
>And why was the prize a house? And how had she afforded it?
>Too many questions
>You spot Fluttershy in the crowd near the starting line, and join her
Hi Fluttershy!
>"Oh, hi Twilight! Are you excited for the race?"
Uh, yeah. Listen, I had a question. Why are you doing all this? The race, the scavenger, like, why now?
>"You really wanna know?"
Yeah
>"Okay, but its kind of embarassing. I...uhm...I think I have a thing for humans. For the past couple of weeks I've been SO busy trying to find out every namefag's fetish everyday, so i thought, hey, why not minimize my results. So I thought of this contest, where only the best possible human could win, guarenteeing I get the best ..um..monkey dick.."
But what about the house?
>"I...um...sold the cottage, I'll be living with the winner of the race
 
>You are now Etiquette again
>The race is now ready
>A simple track has been erected through out the town, only one lap wins the race
>4PP138100M, Slasher Science, Fractured Flow, Fagdude, Badpacing and Picklehead have taken their places
>You wait an extra minute for all the ponies and other namefag spectators to settle down, then give Pinkie Pie the signal
>She raises a meg-phone to her lips
>"Three!"
>You load the bullet
>"Two!"
>You take aim
>"ONE!"
>You take the safety off, and fire at your target
 
>You are Picklehead
>You open your mouth and shout to the heavens
NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY, OH GOD, OH CELESTIA, OH POWERS THAT BE, WHY?
>You try to hold back the tears, but they come flowing
>You look down in your hands and see red
>You try to pick up the peices that used to be Jeremy, but get cut further on the glaass shards
>Your one and only love in this cruel world, gone
>You pick up a shiv-sized portion of glass, and you turn to Etiquette, who stands there, gun smoking
>The other racers have taken off, and the crowd has moved to the finish line, not realizing the tradgedy that has occurred in the confusion and excitement
>You pick yourself up, and with shard in hand, sprint towards Etiquette
HOW COULD YOU? YOU MONSTER!
>As you scream this, you reach Etiquette
>He cocks the gun back, and pushes it forward
>"Put the glass down Picklehead. It was just a jar. Don't make me use this"
 
Just a jar? JUST A JAR! He was that and so much more! He was more than you'll ever be!
>You lunge at Etiquette, but he dodges and retaliates, hitting you with the butt of the gun and sweeping your legs out from under you simultaneously
>As you hit the ground, the shard of Jeremy (sniffle) goes out of your hand, bouncing out of reach
>Etiquette points the gun down
I will never stop until I avenge him, so you might as well do it! Kill me! I'll be with Jeremy in eternity!
>He looks at you grimly
>"So be it"
>He tenses up, and pulls the trigger
>The resounding gunfire sounds like a cannon
>But...you're fine?
>It was just a blank!
>While Etiquette is still standing there stunned, you get up and sprint away
>Revenge will come later Jeremy
>You promise that