Title:           [FR] The Best Human Contest - Part 5
Author:          4PP138100M
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/Q1cn8ANy
First Edit:      Monday 17th of December 2012 10:47:19 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 17th of December 2012 10:47:19 PM CDT

The score is now:
Team Feels - 1/5 Zap Apple
Team Oldfag - 1/5 one red bow
Team Pickle - 1/5 one lock of pink hair
Team Gore - 1/5 one tube of Colgate Total
Team Rarity - 3/5 Pink hair, Colgate Total, Red bow
Team Obscure Fetish - 1/5 Pink hair
Remember teams, the list is:
1. 1 zap apple
2. 1 tube of Colgate Total
3. A lock of pink hair
4. A red bow
5. 1 Un-pickled Cucumber
1/?
 
>You are now Picklehead42
>For the third time
>Using the almighty pickle jar, you have successfully netted for your team not only the lock of pink hair, but also the tube of tothpaste from Colgate's Dentistry office, a zap apple from Sweet Apple Acres (for some reason they were locked up in the barn, but this wasn't a problem with the jar) and a red bow from some unlucky filly in Manehattan
>The jar almost secured your teams success, and brought you closer to your very own house
>Almost
>You still needed a cucumber, which was unable to jar-travel
>Conversly, you traveling through the jar to it would also pickle-fy it because of the jars radiant properties
>You were going to have to do it the old fashioned way
>Fair and square
>But once your team won the scavenger hunt, that house would be all yours
>Little did your fellow-soon-to-be-competitors in the race know, you would just use the jar to teleport to the finish line!
>You maniacally laugh as you proceed to Ponyville market to find a cucmber
2/?
 
>You are now Slasher Science
>Before leaving Sweet Apple Acres, you had slipped off from the group and stole one of Applejack's signature zap-apples
>Hopefully she wouldn't notice, not that you gave a fuck
>You want your team to win so you can finally have that house/rapedungeon/idex basement you've been craving
>You arrive at Rarity's Boutique a few minutes after departing the farm
>Its a shame Sweetie Belle hadn't accepted your offer to accompany you and the team back here
>Oh well
>You stand silently in the back as Fractured Flow asks Rarity if she has any red bows, and the as she shakes her head no
>While him and 4PP138100M discuss with Rarity how the contest is going, you spot one of Rarity's work benches and stroll on over
>You spot a pair of scissors, and take them
>Next, you spy some red satin fabric, and cut a length of it off. You keep the scissors. They could come in handy
>Tying it in a loose bowtie, you hand it to Fractured
Rarity:"Wherever did you find that? I was almost sure I was out! I suppose you can borrow it for now, just bring it back afterwards"
3/?
 
>Walking out of the Boutique, you spy the CMC trotting towards the doors you just walked out of
>As usual, 4PP138100M instantly runs over to Applebloom
>Normally you would do the same with Sweetie Belle, but you control your self now
>Now is the time for sneaking
>You tiptoe around the scene and walk up behind the CMC
>You put a finger to your lips to Fractured Flow
>You would do the same to 4PP138100M, but he isn't paying attention to anything other then his beloved
>With a quick *snip* you take off a small portion of one of Sweetie Belle's pink highlights
>Replacing the scissors back in your pocket, you smile knowing its not the last time you'd use them
>Because how could the other two compete in the race if they never showed up?
>The two of you bid goodbye, and un-stick 4PP138100M from Applebloom
>You head off towards Ponyville Market in search of the final item, a cucumber
4/?
 
>You are now Fagdude
>You and the rest of Team Pickle just arrived at Ponyville Market
>Quickly, you look around for the stall with the cucumber picture out front of it
>You spot it, but its about ten stalls away
>And....What is this?
>Team Gore is at the stall!
>Buying a cucumber!
>You watch them pay, and then run in the general direction of Ponyville Square
>No!
>They must have all their items!
Guys, we don't have much time, and I think Team Gore has everything they need. We need to go get that cucmber and reach Ponyville Square before them!
Badpacing:"But how?"
Here's the plan. Badpacing, take these bits and go buy a cucmber. Afterwards, run straight for Ponyville Square.
>You hand him some bits and he runs off
>Picklehead:"Shouldn't I go to?"
No! If your jar gets within ten feet of that cucmber, it'll turn into a pickle. Ineed you to use the jar to get us to the Square, now!
5/?
 
>Picklehead:"Ok, get in"
>You lookat the jar
>How the fuck is a grown man going to fit in there
>Picklehead sees your concern and says
>"Don't worry about it, don't think about it, just close you yes and step forward"
>You close your eyes
>"Whatever you do, don't open your eyes"
>You take a deep breath, and step forward
>Instantly the smell of brine fills your nostrils, and seeds and droplets of brine pelt your shirt and pants
>You stand still for what feels like ten minutes, until you hear Picklehead say
>"Now open them"
>You're in Ponyville Square
>According to the clock tower in the distance, you were in there for no more then three seconds
>"So, how'd you like it?"
Never...again...
>He laughs
>"Thats what everyone syas their first time"
6/?
 
>You look around, but don't see Badpacing anywhere
>Then, suddenly, you see  Team Gore running into the square
>You grab Picklehead, and drag him over to Twilight
>Just as you get there, so does Team Gore
We're finished!
>You and Fractured Flow say at the same time
TS:"WHeres the rest of your team?"
>You fake un-comprehension
Wha-what? Oh, where did Badpacing get off to now? Please, don't judge our performance based on the weakest link Twilight!
>You see him joggin up into the square
See! There he is! Oy, Badpacing, over here!
>He joins the group, making sure to keep the cucmber far away from the jar
>Fractured Flow:"But we won, right? Our whole team was here, all three members, when we said we were done!"
TS:"Uh...well...It looks like we have a tie!"
7/?
 
>FF:"But they have a magic jar to help them!"
>"Picklehead: And where do the rules state I couldn't use Jeremy?"
>FF:"You name it Jeremy?"
>Picklehead:"Its not an it. Its a he, thank you very much"
>A minute later, Twilight has gone to tell the mayor the news
>MM:"Citizens and competitors, stop your search! We have our two winning temas!"
8/8