Title:           [FR] The Best Human Contest - Part 3
Author:          4PP138100M
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/nDBqDa4c
First Edit:      Saturday 15th of December 2012 10:24:48 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 15th of December 2012 10:24:48 PM CDT

>You are now Picklehead again
>You, Badpacing and Fagdude take a look at the list as you walk away from the stage and stalls selling commemorative t-shirts
>But not before you bought a Team Pickle t-shirt for you, and another one for the pickle jar
>He was a size extra small
>BP:"What does it say we need Fagdude?"
>FD:"It says we need a zap-apple, a tube of Colgate Total, a lock of pink hair, a red bow and an un-pickled cucumber"
>These ponies have absolutely no taste
>Leaving cucmbers around, all unpickled and such
>You offer
Well I can get us the lock of Pink hair, easily
BP:"How?"
1/?
 
Go back to the square and stand near Twilight, she has those pink highlights. I'll distract her, and you take these scissors
>You pull a pair of scissors you left on the counter of your house out of the jar
And cut off a lock of it
BP:"But how will you-"
Just go, trust me. I'm a pickler.
>He jogs off back to the town square
>You give him a minute, then grab a pickle out of your pocket, firmly grasp it, and push it through the jar
>It has the desired effect, you hear Twilight moan through the jar as the pickle slides into her slit
>A second later you hear
>"Hey, thats my hair!"
>Two minutes later Badpacing comes back with the hair
Step one complete
2/?
 
FD:"Woah, with that jar we could be done in no time! I heard the Cakes have cucumbers, can you use that to go get some?"
>You shrug
I don't see why not
>You aim the jar towards Sugarcube Corner, and reach inside
>You grab a long, phallic shaped vegetable
>But, its a pickle?
>You knew the Cakes didn't carry pickles, not since you went Pickle on their ass for tryin' to sell on your turf
>Maybe it was a fluke
>You dip into the jar again, and pull out another pickle
>Then you remember hearing something your sensei said to you when he gave you his most prized possesion, the JAR
>Any pickle-able item that goes through the jar is automatically pickled
Guys, I think we have a problem
3/?
 
>You are now Fractured Flow
>You and the rest of Team Gore walked off towards Sweet Apple Acres after getting your list for the scavenger hunt
>4PP138100M said he had a tube of Colgate Total in his shack, which saved you a trip to Colgate's dentists office
>She would probably be all over your ass for brushing your teeth with blood anyway
He also said he had an idea of where to get a red bow
>In fact, he said it would be the best red bow of all time
>His eyes sort of glazed over when he said that
>Sort of the same ways Slasher's eyes glazed over when he read that you needed a lock of pink hair
>He had said he knew just the filly for the job
>Something told you Team Rarity wouldn't approve
>Oh well
>You realize that you've just arrived at Sweet Apple acres, and continue on to 4PP138100M's shack
4/?
 
>He invites you in, and you accept even though it only looks big enough to fit two people from the outide
>Somehow you squeeze in, and he pulls the chain on the light, allowing you to see...
>Holy Fuck
>The walls are literally covered head to toe in pictures of Applebloom
>Some that have other ponies in them have their faces cut out and 4PP138100M's face taped in
>On the space over his bed, a giant headshot of Applebloom hangs, with a heart drawn in red marker around her face
>Dear mother of gore!
>You were into some weird shit, but this was creepy even for you
>Slasher just comments
>"Needs more Sweetie Belle"
>48: "Here it is!"
>You leave the shack, disturbed, but with your prize of a slightly used toothpaste tube
5/?
 
>You head on over to the Cutie Mark Crusader's Clubhouse next, to grab Applebloom's iconic bow
>You offered to ask her for it, but 4PP138100M shouted
>"NO!...uh, I mean, I'll do it, its fine"
>Whatever
>You arrive at the tree fort, and to your dissapointment, you see three familiar looking humans outside with three familiar looking fillies
>Slasher and 4PP138100M rush over when they spot their respective fillies, and you jog after them
Whats going on here?
>Slasher:"Team Oldfag got here before us, and they took Applebloom's bow!"
>48: "How could you Applebloom, I thought we were friends?"
AB:"Well, its just Team Oldfag got here first, and Discy asked so politely that Ah just said yes, Ahm sorry 4PP138100M"
>48:"Ohh, I can't stay mad at you. We'll just find one somewhere else"
>You didn't think he was even ever mad at her
>In fact, being within a three yard radius of her was giving him a visible boner
>A similar tent was forming in Slasher's pants
6/?
 
>You had to get them out of here before they did something they'd regret
>There would be plenty of tme for >rape when this was all over
Come on guys, I'm sure Rarity would have a bow we could borrow
>Implying Team Rarity hadn't already raided her shop
>You set off for the boutique knowing they probably had
7/7