Title:           [FR] The Best Human Contest - Part 1
Author:          4PP138100M
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/QL6MHeVZ
First Edit:      Friday 14th of December 2012 10:55:52 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 14th of December 2012 10:55:52 PM CDT

 
>You are 4PP138100M
>It's Day seventeen since you and all the other namefags from the Flutterape thread showed up in Equestria
>inb4 rape games, because this isn't that
>Fluttershy nearly died of heart palpatations when she spied the numerous human males all showing up at one time
>Many of the local mares have been very genorous, renting out rooms and giving jobs to many of you
>You all had one thing in common
>None of you had a place of your own
>Houses here were not something that were bought on a whim, or even rented
>Usually ponies inherited them through passing family members
>None of you could just build a home, your combined incomes wouldn't even cover the raw materials for a one room apartment
>You rented an old shed on Sweet Apple Acres from Applejack, which was cool because you were close to best pone at all times
>She also gave you a job, so you didn't get off the farm much
>You couldn't help but want a place of your own
 
>You get up from your too-small cot, and proceed to shit and shave
>You then head out to the spicket-shower out back
>There was no drainage, the water just kind of seeped into the ground, never to be seen again
>You actually got to shower without Fluttershy watching today, which was nice
>Most days she would watch
>It unsettled you, but you had to be clean of yesterday's dirt
>You head over to Applejack's main barn, and find her there
>She hasn't worked up a sweat yet, which is off because shes usually bucked over a hundred apples by this hour
What's going on, I thought your motto was "The early bird catches the worm"?
>"Well, usually it is, but Rainbowdash flew by a few minutes ago sayin' there was sum' sortof competition being held in town square. She said the Mayor said it was 'Humans only', so I figured we could take the mornin' off and go see what its all about"
>Something sounds fishy here
>But less bucking sounded like fun
 
>And maybe......
Okay, sounds fun! Do you think APplebloom would want to go?
>"Nah, shes off with her friend Scootaloo in their treehouse"
>Rats
>Oh well
>You set off towards town with Applejack
......
>You are now Raritan
>Lady Rarity has been nice enough to rent her spare room to you
>She is the elment of genorosity after all
>You awaken to the smell of smoke, and when you open your eyes they start to water
>Suddenly, a fire alarm trips and your ears ring from the blaring ring
>Panicking, you rush into the kitchen to find Sweetie Belle attempting to cook a smoking black concoction in a frying pan
>The writefag known as Slasher Science stands next to her
 
>Judging by what he wrote in the thread back on Earth, you tryed to keep him away from Sweetie Belle, and kept an eye on him in general
>Somehow he must've gotten in this morning
What is going on here? And what are you doing here at
>You look at your watch
Six in the morning?
SB: Well, Slasher came in and I asked him if he wanted breakfeast, and he asked if we could have some sweetieswirl, and i didn't know what that was, so we-
>You've heard enough
Slasher, please go back to....whatever it is you and Twilight do down in that basement. Sweetie Belle, why don't we clean up before rarity wakes up?
>Slasher takes his leave, but not before he pushes a flyer into your hands without saying a word
>...So creepy
>The flyer says "Fluttershy's Ultimate Human Competition! Winner wins The New House Over Near Golden Oaks Library!"
>Your own house?!
 
>You had to go check this out
>You and Sweetie Belle finish cleaning the horrid monstrosity that might've been Sweetieswirl just as Rarity trots down the stairs
>You ask her to accompany you to the contest, and she agrees
>You set out, rarity to your right, Sweetie Belle to your left, and Slasher Science tailing you a good fifty feet behind
.......
>You are now Picklehead42
>Some random pony with carrots on her ass let you stay with her
>You still have yet to learn her name, as she is not pickle-related
>You had set up a stand in Ponyville Square that sold pickles, and did reasonably good business
>Today, you took your magical pickle jar, which had acquired awesome abilities upon arriving in Equestria, and set out on the town
 
>As you waltz down the road, Fluttershy comes up to you
>"H-Hey Picklehead42! I was just wondering if you'd...uh..wanna give me that pickle..in your pants..?
No, silly Shutterfly, your never going to get King Pickle! But I'd be happy to sell you a regualar pickle.
>"Oh, uh, thanks anyway! Oh, and be sure to come by town square laster for the Best Human competition!"
>She shoves a flyer in your hands, then flys off
>You look down, and notice first prize is a new pickle-shack!
>You jump on into the jar and climb out in Ponyville Square
>Looks like things are just getting started