>Ever since you came to Equestria, countless accidents and mishaps have befallen you
>It seems that almost once a day, something heavy nearly falls on you, or you almost drown, or you cut yourself in just the right place and nearly bleed out, or whatever
>Twilight had you under near-constant surveillance to keep you safe
>However, she couldn't keep you safe from herself
>While using a spell to close up a wound on your chest from a freak toast-buttering accident, a sudden magical surge courses through her body and into yours, killing you instantly
>"Finally! I've been waiting for you for so long!"
>The first thing you notice about being dead is the little anorexic pony floating above you with an excited squee
>You sit up
>You're now a ghost, sitting in your supine, smoking corpse
>Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity are all staring in horror at your body
>Flutters and Rarara run up to you, freaking out and crying
>Twilight doesn't follow
>Instead, her shock shifts to angry determination
>You can't hear her, but whatever she says makes the girls quickly back away from your body
>"Hey, over here! Mister human!"
>The sickly-looking filly that you saw earlier calls out to you, and you turn to her
>Her eager expression makes you feel uncomfortable
"What's going on? Who are you?"
>She invades you personal space, and you slide back a bit
>"I'm a reaper pony! When I first saw you, I thought you were really cool, and funny, and interesting, a-and cute, and I just wanted to meet you so badly!"
>Reaper pony...
>...wait...
"Are you the one who's been trying to kill me!?"
>"Yes!"
>You didn't expect such an enthusiastic admission
"What the fuck!? Do you know how much pain you've caused me? How much suffering I've endured? How much you've hurt my friends?"
>She shrugs
>"You were gonna die eventually anyway."
"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU WAIT UNTIL THEN!?"
>"Because I wanted to meet you now! You're really great Mister Anon! And, um, I actually really li-"
>She freezes

>A white vignette begins to grow around the edge of your vision as sensation returns to your limbs
>"N-no! Mister Anon, stay with me! Take my hoof!"
>You scooch away and try to communicate that you absolutely don't want to stay with her
>She doesn't take the hint
>Tears begin pouring down her cheeks as something begins to pull you away
>She tries to grab your shirt, but she passes through it like a ghost
>"Mister Anon! We'll be together again soon! MISTER ANON! I-I LO-"
>Your vision goes completely white, and then...
>Pain
>Pain radiates across your entire body
>You sit up and scream due to the intensity of the situation
>Your vision returns, and you realize that you're alive, with a stunned Rarity and Fluttershy off to your sides and an angry, crying Twilight directly in front
>They close in on you, hugging you and sobbing in relief
>"A-anon! We were so afraid! When Twi-I mean, when you, I-I-"
>"We thought we had lost you! When I saw that you were not breathing, I nearly-"
>"T-that shouldn't have happened! I'm supposed to keep you safe, and I let-"
>You cough and weakly shake them to get their attention
"R-reaper pony..."
>They all quiet down and step back
>"...I beg your pardon, dear?"
"I met a weird pony, she said she killed me because she liked me or something."
>Fluttershy and Rarity look at each other with cocked eyebrows
>"N-not that I'm calling you a liar or anything, but I heard that sometimes when po-er, when people have near-death experiences, they can see--"
>"I KNEW IT! There's no way one person can have luck as bad as yours!"
>Fluttershy jumps at Twilight's interruption
>Her eyes glow with dark magic as a hole tears in space beside her to a world of darkness and fire
"Twilight? What the-"
>"Tartarus. We're going to file a formal complaint"
>She gently lifts you into the air and trots towards the portal
"W-wait, shouldn't we deal with my mortal wounds first?"
>"This won't take long."