>you are at home, relaxing
>you get hungry, so you decide to grab a snack from the kitchen
>you open up the fridge to see what options you have
>one sticks out more than anything else
>a pony
>she's laying on her back looking at you
>you notice the fluid inside her body
>it swishes around as her she adjusts herself
>she smiles at you
>"Hi!"
"Uh, hi?"
>"My name's Coca Cola, but you can call me Coke if you'd like. What's your name?"
>you give her a blank stare
"Anonymous, but I go by Anon most of the time."
>"It's really nice to meet..."
"What the hell are you doing in my fridge?"
>"Oh, about that."
>she looks at herself, then back at you
>"I hope you don't mind, but it's really nice in here."
>she gives a light giggle
"I'm...glad?"
>"I should probably get out, huh?"
"I'd appreciate it."
>she crawls out
>the fluid inside her shifts from her head down to her hooves
>it starts to fizz up
>"Whoa. Getting light headed..."
>she lets out a huge, deep, burp
>she gives her head a shake
>"There. I think I'm better."
>she looks at you with her head slightly tilted, and gives you a smile
>"So. What now?"
"Well, I was planning on getting something to eat."
>"Oh, that sounds nice."
>she turns around facing the fridge, and walks up to it
>she stands up while leaning on the fridge
>she opens the freezer portion, and grabs the ice tray with her mouth
>she sets it on the counter
>she then jumps on the counter rooting around in the cabinets
Just make yourself at home, why don't you?
>after a couple minutes of searching, she finds what she's looking for
>she pulls a small bowl from the counter
>she takes the tray over the bowl and dumps the ice cubes in them.
>sh starts munching on the ice
"Did I say you could have that?"
>she sighs
>"Fine. May I have this ice?"
>you look her straight-faced
"No."
>her mouth drops in slight shock
>you walk past her to the fridge, and start looking around for what you may want
>you decide on a sandwich
>you grab the materials you need
>when you close the door, you see Coke pouting
>you turn away
>you start smiling
"Well, I guess I could let..."
>you hear the clacking of hooves
>the weight of a small being crashes against you
>a sharp cold hits you as she puts her foreleg against the back of your neck
"Ah-hah-hah. I-was-kidding-I-was-kidding-I-was-kidding."
>you feel her get off you
>you look back at her
>she has this smug look of victory on her face
>"Thank you, Anon. That is very kind and hospitable of you."
>you get up
"I know. The lady's really love me."
>she starts happily munching at the ice again
>you make your sandwich and start doing the same
>a couple bites in, and you notice she's licking the bowl clean
>she puts it in the sink then starts walking out of the kitchen
>"Thanks, Anon."
>she let's out a burp
>"Really good."
"Uh huh. No problem."
>you stand leaning against the cabinet, finishing your sandwich
Why did I let her get away with that?
It's because she's hot...or cold, or whatever
>you hear her fiddling around in your living room
"What are you doing?"
>"You have videogames in here!"
"Are you wanting to play one?"
>"DUH!"
>more rooting around
>you stuff down your sandwich
>you walk into your living room
>"This one looks interesting!"
>she flashes a game to you
>Call of Duty: World at War
Damn. Been a long time since I've seen that
"You know what? Sure. We can play that."
>"Awesome!"
>you take the game, and pop it into your console
>you grab an extra controller, and hand it to Coke
>she takes it and sets it on the ground
"You sure you want to do this? I mean, the controller isn't exactly designed for hooves
>"Pfft. I got this."
"Alright."
>the game starts up
>you hop over to the zombies menu
>you start up a match
>the game loads
>"Alright, just let me get the controls..."
>she starts fidgeting with the buttons, hitting them all with little problem
>you look over at her
>she notices
>"What?"
"How the hell do you do that?"
>she shrugs her shoulders
>"I unno."
"Whatever."
>you two start playing
>she's obviously unfamiliar, but she's picking up quickly
>"You're beating me?"
>you look at the score
>you have more than twice the points she does
>you look at her smugly
"It seems so."
>"Well then, that needs to change."
"Oh yeah. Whatcha gon' do bout it?"
>she leans over to you and licks the side of your head
"You really think that's going to..."
>her spit dries, and your hair gets all sticky
"What the hell?"
>"What? Never had pop get in your hair?"
"Oh, that's dirty."
>"Not as dirty as you."
>she gives you another lick, this time on the cheek
>your face starts to feel sticky
"Do you really think this is going to distract me?"
>out of the corner of your eye, you see her head go back and forth from the TV to searching around the room
"What are you doing?"
>"Oh, nothing."
>she leans over and grabs a familiar rectangle
>it's your laptop
>you hear the sound of her preparing a lugi
"You. Wouldn't. Fucking. Dare."
>she opens it up
>you hear her drop the spit
>you lean over and catch it before it hits your laptop
>she leaps over you and grabs your controller
"Really?"
>she sticks her tongue out at you
"Whatever, I can catch up."
>"Good luck. I got myself surrounded."
>your character is surrounded by zombies
>too many to fend off
>you end up dying
>"Say, Anon. This is a really nice gun you picked up."
"That's not fair!"
>"All's fair in love and war."
"Is that so?"
>you give her a devilish grin
>"What are you doing?"
>you stand up and lift up your hands
>she glances over at you
>"Anon, no. Please, not that."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
>"No. Anything, but that."
>she starts squirming away from you
>you go in for the kill
>you grab her and lift her up
>"Aanoooooooooooon!"
>you start shaking her
>"Staaaahhhaaaaahhhhhaaahhhhhaaaaaahhhhp!"
>you can see her starting to fizz up
>you set her down
>she lets out a huge burp
>and another
>and another
>and another
>she drops the controller
>she staggers around the room
>"Oh, boy. I don't feel so good."
>she falls onto the couch
>she speaks in a soft voice
>"Anon. You jerk."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
>you let out a few laughs
>"Anon, I think you hurt me."
>she rolls over, and clenches her stomach
Well shit
>you walk over to her
"Okay, look. I'm actually sorry about that."
>"Come here."
>you lean over
>her voice gets softer
>"I just want you to know..."
>her voice trails off
>you lean in
"Know what?"
>she looks you in the eyes
>her eyes get a little wide
>BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP
>your ears are ringing from the volume
>as she finishes, she starts to giggle
>her voice comes back to its normal playful tone
>"I just want you to know that you totally deserved that, and should have seen that coming"
"Yeah. Probably."
>"Wow. That was good one!"
>you're still leaning over her
"I'd be offended if your breath didn't smell so delicious."
>"Oh, how sweet, Anon! You're such a romantic."
"I know. Compliments, food, letting you beat me in..."
>"Hey, I told you: all's fair, and I ended with the high score."
"Only because I earned it."
>"Maybe next time you'll learn not to be such a chump."
"Yeah. Probably."
>she lets out a tiny laugh
>you give her a smile
>she reciprocates with a smile of her own
>you lean in toward her, and close your eyes
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"What do you think you're doing?"
>you open your eyes
>Coke is looking at you with an eyebrow raised in suspicion
"Well...I thought..."
>"Sorry, but that's not happening. I will say: it was sweet of you to try though."
"Thank you?"
>"No problem. Now get off me. It's getting warm. I need to get some more ice."
>you get up
>she hops up off the couch
"Help yourself. Not really much I can do to stop you."
>she holds up her hoof
>"That's right."
>she trots off into the kitchen
Damn. What's her deal? Ponies are supposed to be horny, and horny all the time. Right?
>you hear her fiddling around in the kitchen
>you hear the sound of her pulling out another ice tray, and pouring ice into the bowl
>"Hey, what's this?"
"What's what?"
>"Men-taws?"
"Mentos?"
>"Yeah."
"I would stay away from those if I were you."
>"Oh, yeah? Why's that?"
"Just trust me. That stuff's bad news. You'll ruin my floors."
>"Why? What will this do? Make me piss uncontrollably?"
"If you're lucky: yes."
>"And if I'm unlucky?"
"You'll explode."
>"You're exaggerating."
"Only slightly."
>"Well, down the hatch!"
"You better not!"
>you get up
>you sprint to the kitchen
>her body starts fizzing up
Oh Christ. This is not going to end well.
>"Anon, what's going on?"
"I told you not to do it! Why didn't you listen?"
>"I thought you were joking!"
"You do no 'joke' with Coke and fucking Mentos!"
>"Well how was I supposed to know?!"
"By fucking LISTENING to me!"
>in one violent motion, she starts throwing up
>all the color leaves her body
>she's completely clear right now
>she collapses onto the ground
"Goddammit. The hell were you thinking?"
>no response
"Come on. Get up, so you can help me clean this mess."
>her voice comes across faintly
>"Anon..."
"No, I'm not falling for this one. You've ruined made a huge fucking mess."
>"Anon, please."
"No."
>she's just lying there
She's crying wolf
>"Anon..."
She's crying wolf...
>"Fine then."
>she rolls onto her stomach
>she tries lifting herself, but collapes
She's just crying wolf, right?
>you see her panting
Okay, maybe she's not
>you run over to her
"I swear God, if you burp in my face again."
>she lets out a strained chuckle
>"Very funny."
"Okay, what's wrong?"
>"You tell me. You did this."
"You ate the damn thing!"
>"You left it out! Now can you bring me some water?"
"For fuck's sake. You're like a child."
>"You sound like my parents."
"Did they never teach you to never eat mysteri-"
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"Water?"
"Right."
>you get up
>you grab a glass, fill it, and bring it to her
>"Anon, I'm gonna need a hell of a lot more than that."
"How much?"
>"Buckets worth."
"Jesus. Why don't I just stick you under the faucet?"
>"That...might work."
>you pick her up and lay her on the counter
>you grab the hose from the side of the sink
>you bring it over to her
>you turn on the water
>she starts drinking
>slowly, she starts filling up
>she's still clear
>you look around the kitchen
Shit, man. How the hell did you get yourself into this? Oh yeah, a magical bottle of pop in the shape of a horse ate a Mentos after rejecting your advances to have sex with it
>you start laughing
>only a little at first
>your laughter grows
>soon, it's almost maniacal
>"What the hell is your deal?"
"This. Just this whole thing."
>"I could have died!"
"Yeah, but you didn't."
>she gives you a dirty look, then turns the hose on you and squeezes the trigger before going back to downing more water
"Come on. This is funny."
>Coke looks around at the mess she caused
>"Yeah, I guess."
>she gives you another squirt
"Hey!"
>"What? It's funny."
>you shake your head
"Yeah, I guess."
>she finishes up drinking
>she's still clear, but at least not empty anymore
>"Alright, I'm going to lie down."
>she walks tiredly back into the living room
>you look around one more time
Yeah. This mess can wait
>you follow her
>she's on the couch
>you sit beside her
>she looks over at you
>she crawls over and lays partly in your lap
>she gives you a kiss on the cheek
>her lips are cold
"So you can kiss me, but it's wrong if I try something?"
>"I decide who does and doesn't get a kiss, and when."
>she lays her head down and closes her eyes
>"Thanks for not letting me die. It was really sweet of you."
"Yeah. No problem."
>you rest your hand on her neck and give her a few pets
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?"
>"I never did get my ice."
"And?"
>"Could you get it for me?"
>she looks up
>"Please?"
>she gives you her best puppy dog face
>you let out a sigh
>you get up from your spot and head to the kitchen
>you spot the bowl of ice she poured, and start walking over
>your feel the stickiness of the Mentos induced disaster against your feet
You know you're essentially walking in pony puke, right? Well, whatever.
>you grab the bowl, and walk back into the living room
>you notice some of her color has come back, but only barely
"Come on. Scooch your booch."
>she sets up
>you sit down, and Coke goes back to laying in your lap
>you place the bowl next to her, and she lays her face into it, spilling some of the ice
>lethargically, she eats
>you go back to petting her
>you sit there until she finishes it
>the bowl just falls from her face onto the ground
"You gonna pick that up?"
>"No."
"Fine then."
>you grab the bowl and set it on the table
>she closes her eyes, and you do the same
>you feel her head gently rub your leg in affection
>"Hey, Anon. Before I forget, I just want to say: sorry for all the trouble I caused. I know I wasn't the best house-guest. Thanks for being patient with me."
"Eh, it's not that big of a deal. The kitchen's not THAT big of a mess, and it did make the night interesting for me."
>"I kinda mean before that. I was pretty invasive. Just made myself right at home without even asking."
"I would have said 'yes' anyways."
>"That's sweet."
"Not as sweet as you."
>Coke looks up at you with an expression of disappointment
>she shakes her head, then gets up from the couch
"What?"
>"That was awful. I'm going back to the fridge."
"Give me a break. It's been a long night!"
>"I'll see you in the morning, Anon."
"You know, this IS my house? I could tell you that you can't sleep in the fridge."
>she turns back to you and smiles
>"Yeah, but you probably won't."
>she opens the door, and crawls in, closing the door behind her
She's right, you know?
"Really? You're going to do this over a terrible joke?"
>you hear her muffled voice
>"Yep. Goodnight, Anon."
>you sigh
"Goodnight."
Seriously?
>you look to your hand
Whelp. I guess it's just you and me. Again.

THE END